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Author has written 20 stories for Naruto.
HELLO ALL AND SUNDRY!
Yeah so Hi, I am The Cereal Killer, you may call me Cereal. Lets get one thing straight though-I mostly ship yaoi.
I am now on TWITTER: HERE
This is where I will be posting all my little tidbits, where you guys can talk to me and get real time updates etc etc etc 8D
Homepage on Y!Gal: HERE
Note for Y!Gal. Do NOT joing Y! if you are under the age of 18 as specified by the site's TOS! I'M BLOODY WARNING YOU. Everyone else who qualifies, please feel free to follow me 8D
I'm only there once in a blue moon though but whatever. Can't hurt to post it -shrug-
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
November 22, 2011
Account name change is clearly obvious. Typing out the old one was a pain *rolls eyes*
That is all.
You may return to your regular programmeing
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
November 12, 2011:
As we are nearing that very special review number form my precious baby 'Dearly Beloved', I am offering a prize.
The 555th reviewer will have the rare pleasure of asking me to draw a scene from any chapter of Dearly Beloved and post it online and dedicate it to them with all my love.
Start your engines guys, don't you want to be famous?
Okay, so about me:
I'm a fan of literature. Period. From Shakespeare to John Grisham to Tolkien to Cocteau to Victoria Holt to Jane Austen. I like reading. I really reaaaaaaally like reading. I read the labels on the pickle jar. End of story. XD
Music- Rock preferably. I love music when I'm writing. I have recently found myself being drawn to old rock. The 'classics' like Aerosmith, Heart, Guns N' Roses and Nirvana. I like old swing, Jazz and Blues, Michael Jackson (I don't care what ANYBODY says that man deserves his own category) and euro rock.
Sports: You may think I'm joking but I'm not. I practice(d) a style of Kung-Fu called Wing-Chun. I used to do junior professional Badminton, and i did Tennis for a while. Luv Swimming.
Corollary to above: I haven't really exercised in two years. A- level studies do that to you.
Academics: My fav subjects are History, Literature and Art. I want to travel the world so my chosen careers are Linguistics and Journalism. Guess I'm getting practice from now on submitting those long stories huh?
Languages: I speak English, Spanish and French.
Oh yeah, so I took this test over at erm...SemeUke.com and the results were...ahem...
You are a Chibi Seme!
You are the seme in disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it takes the flamboyantly gay Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are.
Most compatible with: Flaming Uke, Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke
Authors I adore. The first six are 'The Family' XD:
Master of The Rebels...pure genius. Period. And now-officially-my Mother.
And then there is:
Ruriko Minamino--my smarter half..XD
Pairings I adore:
NaruSasu /SasuNaru ...either way I'm fine. Its the perfect pairing. Right up there with Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra and Tristan and Isolde.
GaaNeji. -- They've never even met but, whatever; Its hot. (I have done fanart for the NeGaa fic 'White Noise' by Ruriko L. Minamino- check it out here
KibaHina--Cause it's so freaking obvious
ChoujiIno--It's there if Ino stops being such a dumb vain bitch.
ShikaTemari-- She's the only girl that can keep up with him.
LxLight--see above reason.
YukixShu--its cannon...and yaoi...so yeah not much to think about XD
EdRoy--Can you people not see the underlying sexual tension there?...seriously?
Pairings I despise #Cracks knuckles#
SasuSaku-- Seriously-Does this make the remotest sense to you? Sasuke can't STAND her. No I have never read a SasuSaku fic and I never will, and before you go saying I don't knock what I don't know, the only time I ever come across a SasuSaku was in an amazin' threesome fic I read by Askerian called 'Teamwork'. That fic I can stand, because well, I focused on the SasuNaru more but I have read Sasuke and Sauerkraut err...I mean Sakura... together and it just doesn't do it for me. Sorry.
please note: Sakura bashing can sometimes be some funny shit and yes I admit to liking this at times; we all have some guilty pleasures so deal; but sometimes some people take it over the top. Sakura is in love with Sasuke, that doesn't make her a whore/slut/skank.
NaruSaku-- Come on- everyone knows that's some stupid front Kishimoto had to put up to escape fire from American anti-gays. The tension between him and Sasuke couldn't be so in your face or it wouldn't get aired in America. I mean they even edited out the kiss for gods sake. duh!
GaaraSaku--Are you ppl freaking serious?
GaaHina - Say whaaaaaaat?
ShikaIno--Sorry I just don't see the connection.
OroANYBODY- SORRY. SICK, WRONG, DISGUSTING AND BLEGGH!
OrihimeIchigo--Ichi is so bent for Uryuu its not even funny. They're the Naruto and Sasuke of a different genre. They even look alike.
Harry/Ginny: Sorry, I don't give a flying rats ass what cannon says. If I had cared would I write fanfiction, hmmm? Harry and Ginny, no, sorry. Screwing your best friends sister is wrong on so many levels. Besides, it het. ugh. Cringe worthy.
Corollary to above: I am bone straight. Yeah, paradoxical ain't it? XD
Pairings that'll probably never happen but I will ship anyway cause they're smoking hot:
KisameItachi:Because seriously, Kisame is possibly the only man who can manage such a high maintenance bitch. XD
ItaDei: Its cute. period.
ShinoKiba: Does the phrase 'dogs and fleas stick together' mean anything to you? XD
NejiShika: Genius love; what can I say?
NejiSasuke: Once in a freaking blue moon...per century.
NejiNaru: If you've ever read Ebraheart's 'Purple Cocaine Prison' then you'd like it too.
GaaSasu: The ONLY time I liked this pairing was in 'Sick Little Suicide'. Coincidentally, its the same fic with SasuNeji. Yes it's a freaky pairing but I don't mind just this one fic. JUST THIS ONCE MIND YOU -otherwise- its freaky...and vaguely disturbing.
Corrollory to above: I am well aware that SLS is one of the over-emo, high school, fics I rave about in my rant below and you may call it hypocritical. Let me point out a few things to you:
a. I don't give a shit
b. Being hypocritical doesn't make it any less of a point.
c. SLS was read and favourite'd in a time when I was pissed at the world and I don't regret it.
note: despite a tolerance for these pairings I am SasuNaru / NaruSasu shipper foremost and forever. If I ever decide to write one without this pairing( not freaking likely but watevz) You will be suitably warned.
YOU MUST WATCH THIS. I AM NOT MESSING WITH YOU. IT IS THE CUTEST NARUSASU EVER INVENTED: WAAAAAAATCCCHHH ITTTTT!
Here there be:
Translations, fanart, links to works inspired by me etcetera XD.
If you have an idea for any of the above--Just PM me! I wil not ba an evil monster about it I swearz! Specially the fanart! mad grin
Absences translated into Indonesian: here
Man's Best Friend FANART By Naruto Yaoi 911 glomps her
Random Word Association in Russian by Lightly here
Things That Piss Me (and other readers) the FUCK Off in fandom:
by: The Cereal Killer
The pretweendom and under-fifteen-verse posters. Listen kiddies, here's some professional advise from someone who had some sense and READ before I posted. READ BEFORE YOU POST DAMNIT! I was on ff.net for five years before I posted a damn thing and that was because I didn't want to embarrass myself and contribute to the utter juvenile bull that is flooding our site today. Before you TRY to write a lemon het or yaoi, try actually learning the basics first. No I am not encouraging underage sex but if you can't handle it don't write it. Stick to the pg-13 ratings and leave the 'M' for the literary experienced. I am sick and tired of the whole "He shoved his dic inside him and he waileded out in pleasure cause it wuz so awesome' that I find here. And yes The bad grammar is included.
Bad grammar: NO ONE IS PERFECT. I myself have some cringe-worthy errors in my writing and even here in this article but there are a few things that aren't applicable to fanfiction and literature by wider extension.
1. Textspeak or Netspeak. Dis iz literature ppl so dun fukin' writ lyk dis.
2. Uncalled for fragmentation: Here's a hint people. Develop your sentences. Don't write. Like this. It is, fucking annoying. To. Read.
3. FULL CAPS IN SENTENCES: This is a shameless butchering of the English language. Caps are used for proper nouns or the beginning of sentences. Not the whole fucking story.
The dreaded AU High School fic: Ahh, the high school fandom that shows no sign of dying...sadly. Hey, YOU, Pre-teen still in the hell of pre-calculus homework and pimples, WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW! We have all been through it, no freaking need to go back! To make it worse it's like everybody just uses the same fucking plot; Sasuke- student council president, Naru- Bullied kid. They fall in love. End story. Just so you know, this is a modern day murder of the overused 'Pride and Prejudice', Cinderella, Hot-Romeo gets the ugly Juliet plot line placed into the hell of high school. Seriously, it is mind numbingly boring and grates on the nerves of experienced readers and writers. Yes, this applies to Harry Potter as well.
Over Emo-ness : Okay, another lesson for you kiddies. Emo is a term meaning Emotional. This does not have to include : Cutting, Black overkill, eyeliner, tattoos, raging against society and pathetic whimpering in a closet. Sasuke can be emo, Naruto, if done properly can be emo, Harry, AGAIN only if don't properly, can be emo, but the dramatic extent of emo-ness in fandom is pathetic. Half you people who write this bull shit don't even know an emo.
News Flash: Shopping in HOT TOPIC DOES NOT MAKE YOU EMO!
Wearing thick eyeliner DOES NOT make you emo.
Liking Rock DOES NOT make you emo.
Emo is a state of mind not a fashion statement.
Name changing fics.This mostly happens in the HP fandom when either Harry defects to the 'dark side' or is the miraculous lovechild of Snape and Lilly, Lilly and Sirius or Snape and a freaking dementor. Harry changes his name to something freaking weird like 'Perciphilus' or 'Xenotrillus' or some shit. Listen. YES fanfiction is fake...but people, when you change the name of the protagonist, I really don't know who the fuck we're talking about anymore. Harry becomes an OC character that belongs in a separate universe that you were just too lazy to write and stuck him in an established universe like HP fandom. Yes there are some good name changing fics out there but I'm sorry, It pisses me off. His name is HARRY! We are writing fiction about HARRY. Deal with it.
Mary-Sues. Need I say more?
Pathetic Ukes: How many of us are sick of the woman with a dick stories? Naruto is MALE. Sasuke is MALE! Testosterone people, fifth grade biology for fucks sake. It does not make them prone to ''time of the month mood '' it makes them go 'Grr'. Some people think that 'uke' and 'submissive' are interchangeable. They're not. So here's a little Japanese lesson for you, The term 'Uke' comes from the Japanese verb 'Ukeru' which means 'To receive'. Uke is the present person declination meaning 'I Receive'. or possibly "Receiving", Not 'I am a dumb mindless doormat who opens my body whenever my partner wants sex'. end lesson.
p.s. 'Seme' might technically mean 'To attack' . Ain't that funny. XD
Bad Japanese: Sweet god Japan should ban some of you people from their language. 'teme' DOES NOT mean 'bastard' it means 'YOU!' 'Dobe" IS NOT JAPANESE! Sasuke says 'Dope' in the English version but we authoresses all have to use 'dobe' or our inboxes get flooded with complaints about 'You got the word wrong!'. 'Hai' technically means 'yes' but more of a yes as in 'I understand" not 'Yeah'. I love you, is not 'eyeshiteryou' neither is 'Kawaii' a mandatory statement for fanfiction. Sasuke would probably get his balls chopped of for calling Naruto 'Naru-chan' because, the suffix 'chan' is affixed to close, young females or pets or female lovers.
Plot stealing: A word from an authoress, plot stealing is the highest form of praise you can give me. It is also the greatest insult to the processing and imaginative abilities of the grey matter between your ears.
Under-developed Super characters. Okay, this is going to hurt. Your delicate ears may bleed but I really don't care.
Someone does not become the most freaking powerful being on the planet overnight you, inane, unimaginative, retard! If Naruto has an awesome bloodline ability, cool; we are seeing plot movement. If Naruto suddenly had 3 bloodline limits, absorbs Kakashi's AND Itachi's sharingans, is the son of the Fourth Hokage and Tsunade and miraculously is descended from Shinigami himself...Overkill.
If Harry, has a cool animagus form, GREAT! If Harry has six animagus forms, is descended from ALL four founders, Circe, Morgana, Merlin, Guinevere and her cat,... OVERKILL!
(Unplanned) Inheritance fics: See above.
Run of the Mill Creature fics: My god, will someone please kill the person who came up with the Veela fic. Please! (okay I know it was Frizzy and no offense because we don't even know other but people have axe-murdered your idea.) If you MUST do a Veela fic, be original-please. We are begging you.
In the Narutoverse, If your Naru suddenly wakes up one morning to find he has sixteen tails, four ears, and nine inch claws because he completely merged with both Kyuubi and Shukaku...get a life.
Rape-tastic stories- I support your view to publish what you want but I won't like it. Rape isn't funny. Period. My good friend got raped the day of our mutual art exam. I cried through the whole freaking six hour paper so don't fuck with me on this. The amount of 'he-gets-raped-then-falls-in-love-with-his-rapist' stories is just astounding. IT DOES NOT FUCKING HAPPEN. Yes this is fiction but certain morals lines cannot be crossed dammit. (I realize that this is an objective view and criticism is inevitable. Bring it)
Bestiality. Remember that whole thing about moral lines? Yeah. Right here. Elton John said "There is nothing wrong with sleeping with your own sex, people should draw the lines at goats.". Nuff said. (again. If you want to crit, bring it)
Over bashing: Yes, I will admit to having enjoyed a good Sakura or Ginny bashing fic, but over bashing is moronic. Making the one girl who likes your male character the source of all evil in the story is juvenile and you need to rethink. I don't like these characters but to be fair, Sakura, Ino, Ginny, Pansy and Relena need someone to stick up for them once in a while.
So there you have it. The things that royally piss me off in Fandom. If you happen to disagree, flames are welcome. Lets see how well you can debate.
If you want to check out my rants at LJ click here.
Things I just despise:
Waking up before noon. And my lecturers wonder why I never answer questions during morning classes.
Summer Jobs. (a necessary evil)
Hi5 or Myspace or Tagged or whatever...what the hell is the fucking attraction? You sit..stare at fake pictures...send friend request...accept request...repeat mindless procedure. #rolls eyes# I know this because I was on these crap sites for a while before it hit me. What the hell was I wasting my time on?
Chan- It's called child abuse for a fucking reason. Chibi fluff- fine. Chibi-sex weird. Chibi being sexed by forty yr old asshole- rape. I have a really sensitive side to this because I have friends who went through that bullshit and it screwed them really bad.
FAKE ASS PEOPLE! I'm pretty sure everybody hates these but let me put a new spin on it. I hate people who copy my life. I had a friend once who stole pieces of everybody's life to add to hers and it was so obvious it wasn't funny. I despise people who can't be even a little original and who can't turn their backs on the crowd by standing up for and being themselves. I seriously despise people who use others as well. Take it from a so called 'smart' kid who has friends who stick around for a while but then when they realize that the aforementioned 'smart' kid is more intelligent than they are the resentment and the snide comments come in. Seriously, to all those haters who do that: Fuck You. Life, Get one.
Bella Swan: Okay people, I read Twilight like everybody else and at first I loved it. Couldn't get enough so I got all four books. But lately I've been rereading them and you know what, Bella is one annoying, whiny, clingy, weak, sad, pathetic bitch. Right up there with Kagome, Sakura, Kaoru, Relena and every other female character who doesn't have enough brains to piss on. It's sad really that Edward fell so hard for her, but seriously, Bella is not all she's cracked up to be. The strongest character in that series is Jacob and I don't give one fuck what anybody else says. Jacob is faulty and has issues, just like a good character should be, not the perfect Edward who can do no wrong.
'Harry Potter': WAIT! Before you ask me what kind of crazy bitch I am let me explain. XD
'Harry Potter' the book is fine but not 'Harry Potter' the character. Listen for a sec. Rowling is a creative genius and I read HP fanfics avidly but the character that Rowling made isn't realistic, its a freaking Gary Stue. That boy is a neglected, abused child, tortured and locked in a cupbord. Rowling butchered a child who should have some serious mental issues into a stereotypical hero. No I am not saying Harry should be a whiny, pathetic, emo-kid but really, think about it people. He was eleven, a CHILD when he bravely stood up to the greatest evil presence in the world...and no emotional fireworks. This is the only reason I say the book 'Pendragon' is better than HP in terms of characterization. Bobby Pendragon at- what thirteen?-faces up to evil and cries, faints, runs, screams and is human. Where Harry pulls a sword and kills a giant snake at twelve, Bobby assesses the situation does all he can, and runs for his fucking life. That's reality people.
With Harry, I admire him through a telescope saying 'wow he so great. I wish I could do that', but with Bobby I feel the emotions as if I was living them because Bobby reacts the same way I- a normal, untrained to fight the forces of evil- person would do: Mass Hysteria. End of story.