theheathen42
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Joined 08-02-06, id: 1105592, Profile Updated: 08-11-13
Author has written 22 stories for CSI: New York, Big Bang Theory, Chuck, Supernatural, and Sherlock.

I was also the winner of the '08 CSI:NY Fanfiction Awards prize for Best DL Fic, tying with notesofwimsey (Quick Follow Me) and Sally Jetson (Skylines and Wheatfields). I guess this is proof enough for me that Expanding the Relationship is pretty okay :)

WARNING: Given the number of reviews I've read in which someone has choked or spit out what they were drinking because of the images and words I've written, I must suggest that you imbibe no drink and ingest no food while reading my stories. It's for your own good. And the good of your monitor. They really are just that funny.

Name: Heather the heathen

Age: 34 years young

Sex: yes, please

Current Location: almost-Vancouver, BC

Original Location: smalltown, Canada

Occupation: English teacher (ESL, that is) for immigrants to Canada

Hobbies: writing, singing, dancing, cooking, drawing, studying languages, making people laugh til milk (or water) shoots out their noses

Inspiration: Anything funny that also gives me the mooshy romantic feelings. Also, hot men. If those hot men also happen to be funny and mooshy, so much the better!

Contact Info: My IM info (MSN, Yahoo, AIM, etc.) is the same as my pen name, here. No promises about when I'll be online, but feel free to shoot me a "hey" if you're so inclined.

That about sums it up, really, but if you're curious about something feel free to PM me. Hell, even if you're just bored. I'm insomniac, so I'll most likely be around to reply. Damnit.

Note to self: make this more interesting later.

Note to self: it's later, and you still haven't made this interesting.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

iWant you to be my first by JadeSelena reviews
Sam has a plan. Rated T for subject matter but nothing else.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 85,008 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 1/1 - Published: 9/26/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
My List of Firsts by YouSpokeOfIt reviews
My name is Sam Puckett, and I keep a list of all of the firsts in my life. SEDDIE!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 101,045 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 1/7/2014 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
You Can Breathe by stargazr reviews
AUFlack story with appearances from the other CSI's. FlackOFC. Some DL. Girlfriend and girl friend are two completely different things, right? Chapter 102 posted August 31st!
CSI: New York - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 102 - Words: 194,777 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 7/15/2006 - Don F.
Understanding by KatieBell70 reviews
Mixed signals, missed chances. Hermione Granger feels as if she has spent half her life waiting to come to an understanding with Ron Weasley. Somehow, though, in all that time she never truly understood him. Could an unexpected gift change all that?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,492 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/13/2007 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
A Little Bit of My Green Back by sugah66 reviews
Danny attempts to get his money back. Third in the Elvis series, after Make Believe. DL. Oneshot. By popular demand.
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/22/2006 - Danny M., Lindsay M. - Complete
Make Believe by sugah66 reviews
She can pretend all she wants, but this is real. Immediately following the events of Elvis's Chapel O' Burnin' Love, because so many people asked. DL. Oneshot.
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Danny M., Lindsay M. - Complete
Elvis's Chapel O' Burnin' Love by sugah66 reviews
It was just a joke. But he isn't laughing anymore. DL. Oneshot.
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/20/2006 - Complete
Southern Charm by wolfmyjic reviews
A fun little piece about Danny and Lindsey heading 'down south'. Did I mention Lindsey will be in a bikini? [Chapter 14 is now up! Complete.]
CSI: New York - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,199 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 6/8/2006 - Published: 5/23/2006 - Complete
An Excuse to get Drunk of an Evening by MagpieDreamer reviews
DL MS: Danny and Lindsay get totally, completely and inexcusably drunk in a bar one Tuesday night, much to Mac and Stella's amusement. To what end, you might ask? That would be telling...
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,699 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/24/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Deal reviews
Inspired by a tumblr gifset in which Watson learns about demon deals and Crowley tells him why he can't get one.
Crossover - Supernatural & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,246 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Crowley, John W. - Complete
Flagstaff reviews
Once upon a time, Sam ran away from home. It's one of Sam's best memories and one of Dean's worst. Rated T for language.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,311 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Sam W., Dean W., John W.
Just Another Typical Evening reviews
Fluffy one-shot about John coming home late.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/21/2013 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Christmas fluff
Totally out of season, but it was suggested on Tumblr and I wanted to write. Enjoy. :) (T for language)
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,022 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Complete
I Wuv Hugz reviews
A little plot bunny has been whispering in my ear about what Dean's childhood was like before his mother died. I've decided it was pretty average, and pretty happy. Titled after that famous shirt in Dark Side of the Moon.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,691 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/25/2013 - Published: 8/11/2013 - Dean W., Mary W., John W.
Expanding the Relationship reviews
Resurrected after 5 (!) years (!) - A dangerously humourous look at the lives and loves of the CSI department through the minds of Danny and Lindsay, using the episodes as a backdrop. SPOILERS: s2e3-17
CSI: New York - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 108 - Words: 126,207 - Reviews: 1226 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 3/27/2013 - Published: 8/5/2006 - Danny M., Lindsay M.
Naughty Bits reviews
The M rated chapters of Expanding the Relationship.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,422 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/24/2013 - Published: 8/19/2006
Chuck vs The Big Bang reviews
crossover fic, ensemble of both casts. My idea of the craziness that might ensue should the geeks of Big Bang happen to visit the geeks of the Buy More.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,192 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/3/2008 - Published: 11/22/2008
Dork Matter Discrepancy reviews
The guys try to have an enjoyable movie night with Penny and her friends. Emphasis on the word "try."
Big Bang Theory - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,564 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/8/2008 - Published: 6/8/2008 - Complete
Fluffer Smutter reviews
The title pretty much says it all. It's sex from line one, with occasional bits of other stuff thrown in between orgasms. PWP with a vengeance. okay TINY plot now happening, not much though
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,045 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 1/28/2008 - Published: 1/3/2007 - Lindsay M., Danny M.
You're In My Arms reviews
SEQUEL to You're In My Thoughts. What happens while Danny's in Montana? COMPLETE!
CSI: New York - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,320 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/6/2007 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
You're In My Thoughts reviews
Holy crap, COMPLETE! Danny emails Lindsay to thank her for the card. Post 3x14 fic about Danny helping Lindsay get through the trial. The T rating is for language.
CSI: New York - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,042 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 2/3/2007 - Complete
And a Happy New Year reviews
Just a fun little new year piece with no real purpose. It's a one shot, but if you want more, I'm happy to write a second chapter. EDIT: chapter 2 is up and slightly angsty.
CSI: New York - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Complete
Adam and the Suicide Girl reviews
A hopefully nonepic love story about Adam and the Suicide Girl who broke his heart... because I just love Adam.
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,775 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/26/2006 - Published: 11/18/2006
Braccae Tuae Aperiuntur reviews
Seventh in the Latin series. Something's strange about Danny as he goes around the office. Second chapter added. PWP humour smut
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,074 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/18/2006 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
Quad Nescius Eos Non Interficiet reviews
Sixth in the Latin series. Danny and Lindsay have fun at the lab, late at night.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,294 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/29/2006 - Complete
A Tergo reviews
Fifth in the Latin series. Lindsay's such a tease, and Danny just can't take it.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/23/2006 - Complete
Pari Passu reviews
Fourth in the Latin series. Danny and Lindsay have fun after work one night.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,037 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/22/2006 - Complete
Proxime Accessit reviews
Third in the Latin series. Lindsay wakes him up the fun way. Only one chapter this time.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,464 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/13/2006 - Complete
Lapsus Linguae reviews
Second in what is apparently going to be a series of DL smut fics with Latin titles. This picks up from Carpe Diem, when they wake up.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,812 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/10/2006 - Complete
Carpe Diem reviews
Just a little DL smut, postCOTP. Oneshot that turned into 3 chapters.
CSI: New York - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,380 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/9/2006 - Complete
Simple Steps reviews
[MacStella] oneshot set after Dancing with Fishes. Mac and Stella go dancing.
CSI: New York - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/5/2006 - Complete
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