Worth checking out...
To partake of Rich Hamper's indispensable advice on how to give (and receive) a fair, honest and constructive critique of someone's work, go here: http://www.crayne.com/download/dealcrit.txt
Ms Nitpicker's Guide to Writing Marginally Readable Fanfiction: http://littlecalamity.tripod.com/HowTo2.html - Ms Nitpicker gripes about everything from bad headlines to the mistreatment of innocent commas. Miss Swoon has a sneaky suspicion that she and Ms Nitpicker were separated at birth. (Thanks to cathrl for the link.)
Holy Mother Grammatica's Guide To Good Writing: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/hills/9414/hmg1.html - H.M.G. Knows Good Writing, And Is Not Afraid To Ask. (Thanks to Maryilee for this one.)
Dictionary.com: http://dictionary.reference.com/ - Use it. Love it. (But don't be unwise and forget protection - activate your pop-up blocker!)
The Universal MarySue Litmus Test: http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm - Does your story suffer from MSD (the Mary Sue Disease)? Spot the symptoms with this litmus test!
OC (Original Character) Analysis: http://community.livejournal.com/oc_analysis/ - Just because the signs of MSD aren't there, it doesn't mean that the illness isn't lurking. Sumbit your OC to this great Livejournal community for an interactive evaluation.
Miss Swoon will NEVER:
- submit mindless reviews or flames merely to boost or shatter an author's or fellow reviewer's ego. This means that she will never:
- forget to explain WHY she likes or dislikes (some element or aspect of) a story
- resort to cynicism, sarcasm or sugarsweet gushing that makes your teeth rot
- use strong or offensive expletives
- exaggerate the use of exclamation points or question marks
- write 1 (one) instead of ! (exclamation point) at the end of sentences
- forget to spell-check her reviews
- use slang or Netspeak
- write less than two words in her reviews
- tell an author or fellow reviewer that they are stupid and/or ridiculous, that they should give up writing and/or that they have bad breath
- tell an author or fellow reviewer that they are more intelligent than Einstein, that they write better than Shakespeare or Jane Austen and/or that their singing voice will have Simon Cowell from Pop Idol/X-factor in raptures
Miss Swoon WILL, however:
- always give her honest opinion. This means that she will:
- offer positive and negative criticism of the constructive kind
- tell an author or fellow reviewer that something in their story or review (i.e. NOT the author or reviewer themselves!) is stupid and/or ridiculous, if she feels that such a comment is necessary for the improvement of the story
- offer home-made double-chocolate-chip cyber-cookies to everyone whenever she thinks that the occasion calls for it
How do I respond to Miss Swoon's (or anyone else's, for that matter) reviews?
A good example would be: (from an author in an anonymous fandom)
"thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I don't agree with all of what you said, but thanks for the tips and i will keep them in mind"
- Reply like this and Miss Swoon will happily continue to do everything in her power to help you improve as a writer. She will bring you cookies fresh from the oven (unless your ego is getting too big, in which case she will bring you carrot juice), she may even offer to become your beta reader.
A bad example would be: (from another author in an anonymous fandom)
"Nice you're trying to help, but you don't even have any stories posted. I write my stories my way and that's the way it is. Notice that only you and one other person don't like this story out of so many reviews. Give me a break, okay. It's freedom of speech on this site and I write how I like. If you don't like it don't review. Simple rule. Maybe you ought to follow it.
PS You're blocked, so don't even try to respond."
- This sort of childish reply will only result in Miss Swoon coming after you with a flyswat. If the abuse continues, Miss Swoon has an army of trained cybernet assassins that will come after your story and kill it off.
I detest Miss Swoon and her reviews. Is there anything I can do to get rid of her for good?
Yes, there is. Should you perchance succeed in slipping some essence of MarySue into her morning tea, she will die within minutes. Miss Swoon has a severe and inexplicable allergy to MarySues. Unfortunately for you, Miss Swoon passes all of her meals through a MarySueage detection device before consuming them.
I'm one of those who actually like Miss Swoon and appreciate her criticism, is there any way I can get in touch with her?
Sure, just email her at: email@example.com
If you have ever lived in the same house as a psychopath, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
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