Grinning Lizard
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Joined 08-27-06, id: 1123326, Profile Updated: 01-30-11
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter, and Assassin's Creed.


I enjoy history, cartography, languages, reading and writing.

If you know/like anything about fanfiction, you ought to subscribe to the DLP 5-Starred and Featured Authors C2. It showcases some of the best authors from that community and they're all in need of some more exposure for their hard work. Have a browse!

Anyway; tis new fanfiction time. This has been brewing in my brain for a while and now is as good a time as any. I cannot promise you fast updates - I can promise that I will do my best to bring you quality fanfic. Being an amateur historian and very amateur linguist, I figured I'd flex a couple of those hobbies in a new fic:

About Harry Potter and the Assassin's Creed:

Once again, new fic = complete overhaul of writing styles, techniques, and so on.

An attempt to do an irregular crossover between two storylines that would take serious work to make gel, and to put Harry into a reasonably realistic world that is entirely out of his comfort zone and have him deal with it with in as close to canon characterisation as possible, also an attempt to write an exciting and epic quest/adventure story that realistically transforms a canon depicted character into something more and an opportunity to showcase my favourite period in history. This is Harry Potter taken from a crucial canon point (5th Year divergence) and inserted into a random part of the middle ages, with the early Assassin's Creed game lore coming in at a much later point. Yes, this will be Assassin!Harry, but not how you might think. You don't need an in-depth knowledge of Assassin's Creed to enjoy it.

I am going to be keeping the story extremely close to real history throughout - fortunately, AC does this in a lot of ways, and via some of the older-world lore in both universes the two blend together very well - so for example, William FitzOsbern* leading the people's revolt in chapter one is based on the nearest you can get to eyewitness accounts of the real event in the Spring/Summer of 1196, as is the end of FitzOsbern. I shall try to maintain that standard.

The entire book is planned out, so its just a case of me being able to find the time to sit down and get it on paper. All the same, please enjoy, and I'll try to treat you better than I did during Unforgiven. Please read, please review, please be honest.

*Note: a lot of sources, particularly online, cite this man's name as FitzOsbert. While the two are technically interchangeable, some of the older reference books I use have it as FitzOsbern or Fitz Osbern, and it stuck. It's the same guy either way, but historical sourcing for little-known figures can vary massively, even for such small things as names. Wikipedia uses both spellings depending on the article you read. If you ever particularly want details or confirmation on a character, practice, spelling, location or anything, I'll do my best to help you out, and don't be shy about pointing out any mistakes I've made.

Language Notes for the First Chapter (for anyone interested)

Old/Middle English:
Pre-Chaucer English, in the uncomfortable transition between Anglo-Saxon, Old-English and Middle-English, is not easy to get to grips with. You need a comprehensive knowledge of the English Language to take even an educated guess. William FitzOsbern’s famous passage “I am the savior of the poor. Do ye, oh, poor! …” roughly translates the speech to the crowd which is read within the chapter, but it is delivered in the height of the moment, just before a battle, with informal delivery and masses of abbreviation. The language otherwise is authentic but difficult to get through – fortunately, Harry isn’t supposed to know what they’re saying. This definitely helps me out in the next chapter, because unless you spoke French (actually Anglo-Norman, see below) then the English language was entirely regional, and those fluent in the Middle-English of London would have trouble understanding locals in any town just a day’s walk or less from London in any direction. I will not be providing translations for every line of Middle-English in the story – if you want to know exactly what they’re saying, I’d recommend a Middle-/Modern-English dictionary and a good dose of guesswork.

Easier. Though native French speakers can find it difficult to decipher in large chunks, short sentences can usually be figured out. ‘Sargant li paur’ is roughly ‘Leader of the poor’. ‘Guyerez efacer li caucie’ is roughly ‘Prepare to clear the causeway’. ‘Li’ replaces the modern ‘le’ in the masculine. ‘Caucie’ is nowadays ‘chaussée’, etc. Old d’Oil French had a few distinctly annoying differences from any other type of French, specifically with ‘W’ and ‘GU’ being interchanged, as in ‘werre’ and ‘guerre’ (‘war’). That’s why modern English has words like ‘guarantee’ and ‘warranty’, which mean the same thing, and why Guillaime and William are the same name. I’m using artistic license in the transcription, as I’m not fluent in Anglo-Norman and there is no precedent.

A Quick Plug:

Here is a link to - if you haven't already come across it, it's a rather excellent little tool that allows you to find fics based on what other users have favourited. If you put the story ID number (found in the URL of a story you like) in the search engine, it'll pop up a list of stories on that people who have favourited that story also have in their favourites. It's a pretty nifty recommendations tool and it's averaging nearly 30,000 hits per day. Add your profile to the database to help it grow and if you like it, donate to it because he's having to use a dedicated server to handle the influx of users, and that costs dollah. This project may be ending soon because of the costs involved in maintaining it. Make the most of it while it's there.

Story Updates (for HPAC):

They're on their way. They'll debut first in the DLP WbA, then Patronus Charm, then here on .


Unforgiven is still up, though abandoned, and still gets new favourites, readers, and so on despite being a while out of commission. I'm still annoyed about how it turned out and all the drama involved, but thank you to everyone who stuck by it and came back when I posted the notice at the end.

Various other oneshots and drabbles (most will be from the Thank God You're Here challenge thread on DLP) such as Why is it Orange? - my first ever attempt at a crack!fic/comedy - will be posted periodically. I usually do these as writing exercises and to kill writer's block, and they sometimes work.

Depending on how it comes out (and whether I can submit it in time or not) the DLP February Awards competition has a Dark Arts flavour and I'm trying my hand at a proper Dark!Harry fic, on this account, as Grinning Lizard. If it's ever to the point where it's even half decent I will post it - it's a short story (compared to my others) at probably 20k - 30k. Working title at the moment is Shell and it's from a plot bunny that Celestin and TheLegionofMelissa share credit for.

In other news, VoiceoftheNephilim has entered into a beta'ing / collaborative editing partnership with me recently, and has helped to make the latter bits of HPAC legible. He's a cracking good author and you'll find his fics in my favourites - if you haven't read them already, get on it. I apologise in advance if our joking about writing a Gangsta!Harry collaboration ever truly comes about.

I think that's about it. Thanks for the time and, as always, peace.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama reviews
Ten years ago, Voldemort created his kingdom. Now a confused young wizard stumbles into it, and carves out a destiny. AU. Nondark Harry. MentorVoldemort. VII Ch.8 In which someone is dead, wounded, or kidnapped in every scene.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 148 - Words: 1,253,688 - Reviews: 11744 - Favs: 9,259 - Follows: 8,271 - Updated: 1/20/2021 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
Sitra Ahra by Voice of the Nephilim reviews
On the night of Halloween 1981, Harry Potter vanished for eight years, reappearing at a Muggle orphanage with no recollection of his past. The deck stacked heavily against him, Harry arrives at Hogwarts, his past the key to the present’s brewing storm.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 363,743 - Reviews: 1086 - Favs: 1,595 - Follows: 1,588 - Updated: 2/14/2014 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Harry P.
The Unforgiving Minute by Voice of the Nephilim reviews
Broken and defeated, the War long since lost, Harry enacts his final desperate gambit: Travel back in time to the day of the Third Task, destroy all of Voldemort's horcruxes and prevent the Dark Lord's resurrection…all within the space of twelve hours.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 84,617 - Reviews: 886 - Favs: 3,857 - Follows: 2,035 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Lessons With Hagrid by NothingPretentious reviews
"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,357 - Reviews: 741 - Favs: 5,215 - Follows: 1,228 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Rubeus H. - Complete
The Time of the Turning by DracoNunquamDormiens reviews
Post-OotP, AU. Harry's life turns into a whirlwind of trouble, worse than before. He's got to grow up, but will he manage to live long enough to even start his sixth year at Hogwarts? WIP, getting dug out of hiatus box as of Feb'17
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 231,718 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 10/26/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort
Parting The Continents by Big D on a Diet reviews
Horrible, horrible DLP-inspired crackfic. Easily my worst work ever. Features Evil!Harry/Cannibal!Luna/Confused!Laurasia. Don't know who Laurasia is? Neither does anyone else. You will regret reading this as much as I regret writing it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,198 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 48 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Changes in a Time of War by Miranda Flairgold reviews
Sequel A Second Chance at Life. Harry is training in bloodmagic/necromancy, he is becoming a basilisk with a thunderbird's soul, there's a plague in europe, demons are about to invade Earth, and Voldemort needs to die. Fae, vampires, new magics and school
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 343,956 - Reviews: 5589 - Favs: 6,686 - Follows: 3,621 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 7/31/2006 - Complete
The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish reviews
The true story of how Harry and Ginny's kids got their names. Really, it's all Snape's fault. Crackfic oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 3,670 - Follows: 563 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
A Life Alone by Snuffdragon reviews
Harry learns of the prophecy from Petunia at the age of eight and escapes to the streets when the house is attacked. Trying to hide his true identity, can he live on his own? Full summary inside. Alternate Universe, Independant!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 59 - Words: 190,677 - Reviews: 1063 - Favs: 1,015 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 3/9/2007 - Published: 11/15/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Hero's Path by TheJackOfDiamonds reviews
AU Ritually abused by the Dursley's, young Harry Potter learns to count on himself. After discovering magic at a young age, he practices to become stronger to protect those weaker than him. Full Summary inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 201,769 - Reviews: 3835 - Favs: 6,139 - Follows: 5,865 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 3/31/2006 - Harry P.
A Second Chance: The Rewrite by S.L reviews
The war in his world is over: Harry Potter, tired of fighting, uses a spell that will take him to a new world, where his parents, and friends are alive, but where he died as a baby. Is this new start too good to be true?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,251 - Reviews: 2017 - Favs: 3,237 - Follows: 3,465 - Updated: 11/27/2006 - Published: 11/29/2005 - Harry P., James P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry finds himself in a hellish future. Semi-crack, TGYH challenge response. 1st Person POV and very, very strange.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,497 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 39 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Assassin's Creed reviews
An object in the Dept of Mysteries sends Harry 800 years into the past... an adventure of Crusaders, Assassins, Warlocks and Conspiracy, because there's more to saving the world than killing a Dark Lord. HPxAC TimeTravel. Violent.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 49,105 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 835 - Follows: 1,013 - Updated: 1/27/2011 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Harry P.
Our Stranger reviews
A strange little one-shot poem, written for the DLP TGYH. Some of my better prose in there somewhere.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Complete
Why is it Orange? reviews
My first ever challenge response, from the Thank God You're Here thread on DLP. Just a little crack!fic oneshot. Reasonably good response for it on there, so please enjoy. The premise: 'A confused Ron finds Hermione's Dildo'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 784 - Follows: 172 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Complete
Unforgiven reviews
HP... different. Not an original idea but an original story, somewhere between canon, reality and my warped imagination. Warning: Graphic Language/Violence, Racist/Abusive characters, Non-Consensual Sexual Content... Welcome to the Jungle. ABANDONED
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 145,911 - Reviews: 980 - Favs: 1,193 - Follows: 1,345 - Updated: 11/1/2010 - Published: 4/23/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Emerald Universe reviews
Pointless, unhappy oneshot I wrote ages ago which I never posted. Apart from experiments, I hate oneshots. Some people don't though. If you don't, enjoy this short passage about someone special's demise.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Complete