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Joined 09-02-06, id: 1126836

hey all!

i'm a scary dude on natural high!

as my sn suggests!

i have no respect for grammar!


or other things!


i scare you i can tell!

sometimes, i creep myself out...!

i like pie, and stories!

(((i am not mentally handicapped, contrary to popular opinion...)))

it was my theory that it was hard for smart ppl to be funniee...but Heera Maholtra has officially pulverized that theory into itty bitty bit sized pieces. thank you.


"I most cetainly will not touch you," said Avaric, managing to say many things at one.

"The elf in the self regrets," said Elphaba. "Were you to have dismembered me, I might have been posted back to Shiz in small peices and been spared the tedium of this forced holiday. And this company."

~Wicked, the Book

"Holy terror!" Galinda said, her jaw dropping. "What're you doing here!"

"I;m not decent," shrieked Shenshen, drawing attention to her unshod feet and pale exposed ankles.

~Wicked, the Book.

"She was castrated at birth," repled the Tin Woodman calmly. "She was born hermaphroditic, or maybe entirely male."

"Oh, you see castration everywhere you look," said the Lion.

~you guessed it. Wicked. Le Livre. (books are masculine, right? francophones?)

Born in the morning, woe without warning, afternoon child, willfull and wild, Born in the evening, woe ends in grieving, night baby borning, same as the morning.

~ Wicked, Le Livre.

"I heard he was a fg," said a small man with a goatee.

Langdon winced. "Historians don't generally put it that way, but yes, Da Vinci was a homosexual."

~The Da Vinci Code

"...Has anyone here ever heard of the Egyptian god named Amon?"

"Hell yes!" the big guy said. "God of masculine fertility!"

Langdon was stunned.

"It says so on every box of Amon condoms!"

~The Da Vinci Code. Who said it wasn't funny? C'mere and say it to my face, i dare you.

"You sure that's not just some Harvard bullshit way of saying the Mona Lisa is one ugly chick."

~Da Vinci Code. Read it.

thts all!

please and thank you!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Self control by PaintedBlank reviews
After a little talk with Mcgonagall the Marauders realize they have no self control. So they set out to prove her wrong by abstaining from sugar for a week.Sequel to Lazy Summer days sort of
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,889 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/4/2006 - Published: 9/5/2006 - James P., Sirius B.
Services by Untitledx2 reviews
Picture this, a noticeboard, and in the middle, there is a stack of business cards. Anyone can take one of these cards, except for those under 15, and over 60 years of age, because they are either too young, or too old to have sex.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,115 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/20/2006 - Published: 9/27/2006 - Harry P.
Nineveh Royal Kitchens by Apo reviews
One of the affairs mentioned in Ptolemy's Gate. Pg. 275 Footnote. Disclaimer: I don't own the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Please read and review!
Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/4/2006 - Complete
Let's Make a Deal by go.suck.on.a.lemon reviews
How Umbridge got Filch onto her side in OOTP. Not very graphic at all, slightly humorous, I think.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,840 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/11/2006 - Dolores U., Argus F. - Complete
Lazy summer days by PaintedBlank reviews
The Marauders have the Potter's house for two weeks in summer.What will they do with all the free time and general lack of parents? Sun tan of course, well among other things.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,344 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/5/2006 - Published: 8/2/2006 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Affair of the Curiously Heavy Trunk by Apo reviews
One of the affairs mentioned in Ptolemy's Gate. Pg. 35 Footnote. Disclaimer: I don't own the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Please read and review!
Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,177 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/20/2006 - Complete
The princess by flyingmonkees reviews
Written 4 vicki
Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Complete