Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, and StarTrek: Voyager.
I am now on a semester abroad in Jerusalem, so don't expect any postings any time soon.
I am a big fan of Harry Potter. My main ship is Harry/Hermione and now even JKR has admitted that Harry/Hermione makes more sense.
My current stories will probably be eventually completed but my Muse has taken me in other directions. I am simply appalled at the way certain fanon cliches have spread and multiplied.
First of all, nowhere in the books is the word 'Lord' used except in reference to Voldemort and even there, it's part of his anagram. Even rabid blood purists like Lucius Malfoy never call themselves 'Lord'. The only time the phrase 'Most Noble and Ancient family' is used is in connection to the Blacks, who probably used the word 'noble' as an adjective, not a noun. The wealth cliche has, in my opinion, gone too far; particularly since far too many fics load Harry up with money and then he does nothing with it.
I have also come to agree with PerfectLionheart that the FriendlyGoblin! cliche has gotten way out of hand; let's face it, if even Hagrid has nothing nice to say about the Goblins, then it's fair to assume that their nasty reputation is well deserved.
But what really disturbs me is the way that some people have flanderized James Potter into a jerkass bully with Snape as the mostly innocent victim; I invite you to go back and reread that scene from the book. Lily outright tells James that he is 'as bad as Snape', implying that Snape has been known to do similar things. This implication was confirmed in DH where Lily openly accuses Snape of being a Death Eater wannabe and he doesn't deny it or try to change. James, on the other hand, clearly doesn't believe in blood purity; if he did, then he wouldn't be repeatedly asking Lily out and getting upset when Snape calls her a mudblood. There's also Sirius' statement to Harry in OotP that Snape arrived at Hogwarts 'knowing more curses than most of the seventh years', but how would that become known unless Snape was a bully?
Another fandom cliché that I don't like is James' acting all lovesick over Lily; let's face it, if he really had been that way, his friends would have ditched him in a heartbeat. I like stories where James has a lot more to do than just pine over Lily. By the same token, according to Sirius and Remus, Lily never truly hated or loathed James even when he was being an arrogant jerk. I take this to mean that Lily was attracted to James (physically at least) even then but refused to date him until after he matured a bit, and thus proved that he really was a better person than Snape.
All this, furthermore, is predicated on the assumption that what Snape put in his pensieve is what actually occurred; since Snape is so obviously biased and since it's so easy to alter your own memories even without magic, I take the scenes from Snape's mind with a large grain of salt.
Some people think that Snape might still have had a chance with Lily if he hadn't insulted her, but I'm not so sure; I think that Snape would have been stuck in the Friend Zone and here is the reason why.
I also like Star Trek, especially Star Trek: Voyager. My favorite ship in the series is Harry Kim/Seven. Seven needs a man who is patient, kind, and understanding, Harry is all of those things. I also support Janeway/Chakotay and Paris/Torres. I have of late been watching the SF Debris Opinionated Reviews on Star Trek and I have, simmering on the backburner, some ideas inspired by Chuck's reviews that might, eventually, see the light of day.
Obviously from my penname I am a huge Star Wars fan. I like Luke/Mara and while I enjoyed reading the Hand of Thrawn Duology, I don't like that it took ten years for them to finally get together. However, I think that the whole plot device of making bad guys come back as clones has been as overdone in the profic as the superweapons. First we had the Emperor clone himself multiple times, then we had Isard make a clone of herself and now not only did we have one clone of Thrawn but Zahn set it up so that he could at any time introduce a second clone of Thrawn if it ever became necessary. I never read the NJO series but I know enough about it to say that if there ever was a time when a clone of Thrawn would be needed, that would be it. And yet, despite retconning Thrawn's work as trying to prepare for the Yuzhaan Vong, the writers didn't bring this other potential clone of him in. What a waste of potential.
Another SF series that I enjoy is Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis.
My life is pretty hectic right now and I'm not sure when I'll be able to update in the near future.
Fic Ideas that I currently have no time for:
James/Lily: James learns of the Werewolf Prank just a few minutes too late to get there in time and as a result Snape kills the transformed Lupin and, due to the Anti-Werewolf laws, cannot be charged with murder. Bonus points if Dumbledore also refuses to expel him.
Some reviewers of "Inevitable" have asked for it to be expanded upon; alas, that was a one-shot that I currently have no time or interest in expanding on. But if someone else wants to take that up, please do so and let me know.
A complete redo of Star Trek Voyager to reflect the realities of a ship stranded on the other side of the galaxy, instead of the Diet TNG that we ended up with.
Randomly list twelve of your favorite characters from the same fandom: Harry Potter:
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfiction before?
James Potter/Viktor Krum? Definitely not.
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Tonks? Oh she’s very hot, especially since she can become your every fantasy.
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Cedric and Remus? That’s not even physically possible. And it’s gross.
4) Do you recall any fanfictions about Nine? Can you recommend any?
I’ve read a great deal of Fleur Delacour fanfic. I recommend The Thing About Veela is by upperpd
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Hermione and James? Oh that’s just sick.
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten
Harry/Fleur or Harry/Neville? The first one would be hot; the second one would just be gross.
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Sirius walks in on Hermione and Cedric having sex? He’d probably just grin and laugh. Hermione would call Sirius a total pervert. Cedric would probably leave very awkwardly.
8) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfiction.
A Luna and Neville fanfiction: After the Battle of the DoM, Neville and Luna unexpectedly meet each other in the Room of Requirement. Neville/Luna.
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfiction?
A Lily/Remus fluff? I’ve never thought about it but I don’t think Remus would betray James like that.
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fiction.
Sirius and Cedric? “Dead Men Comfort.”
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower one?
Nymphadora deflowers Lily? This would have to be a time-travel fic and Nymphadora would do some gender-bending.
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Sirius slash? Well I know that that’s crazy popular on these boards for some reason so probably.
13) What would Three and Eight do if they were forced into an arranged marriage?
Luna and Remus? Well first they’d wait until Luna is actually an adult. Luna would quietly accept it while Remus would feel really awkward.
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Viktor Krum? Probably.
15) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five
Hermione/Tonks/Harry? Oh yes, quite a few people.
16) What might Ten’s last words or actions be before death?
Neville would probably die without saying anything.
17) If you wrote a song-fiction about Eight, what song would you choose?
Remus? "Those Were The Days (My Friend)" by Mary Hopkins.
18) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fanfiction, what would the warning be?
Lily/James/Cedric: WARNING: Threesome! Slash!
19) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
Neville using a pickup line on Hermione:
“You’re so hot that you make me forgetful.”
“Huh?” Hermione blinked, looking up from her book.
“Uhh…nothing,” Neville mumble as he walked away very flushed.
20) When was the last time you read a fanfiction about Five?
Harry? I read fanfic about him every day.
21) What is Six’s super-secret kink
James probably wants to have sex while flying.
22) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
Would Viktor shag Fleur? Yes, and both.
23) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
Luna and Sirius? Sirius probably.
24) “One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three.” What title would you give this fanfiction? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Lily and Fleur are in a happy relationship until Fleur suddenly runs off with Tonks. Lily, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Viktor Krum and a brief unhappy affair with Cedric Diggory, then follows the wise advice of Harry and finds true love with Luna Lovegood? I would title this “Lily’s Twisted Secret Affairs.” I can’t imagine who might write it but I can definitely imagine quite a few people on this site who might read something this perverted.
25) How would you feel is Seven/Eight was canon?
Sirius/Remus? Well it’s one of the most popular slash fics in the fandom but I just think that it’s gross.
Nitpicks in Harry Potter canon:
If Harry's Invisibility Cloak is so special and supposedly provides perfect invisibility then how come Dumbledore, Moody, Bagshot/Nagini, the dementors and the Map can all see through it?
The Fidelius Charm. Rowling established in PoA that the Secret-Keeper could only willingly give up the secret and that if the Secret-Keeper died, the Secret would remain strong. She totally overturned this in DH just to fit her plot. Hello? You make the rules first and then write the story, not the other way around.
If the 'power the dark lord knows not' is love then why did Rowling have to invent a super-wand in order to enable Voldemort's defeat? What is the correlation between the two? There isn't one. The way things worked out in DH, the prophecy might as well have not existed for all the relevance that it had. The prophecy said that Harry was the one to vanquish Voldemort but that isn't how it turned out in Deathly Hallows. Is it any wonder that the Ministry suppresses prophecies? They don't apparently matter at all but if that's so then why were Voldemort and Dumbledore so obsessed with it?
Harry grieved more for Cedric and Dobby than he did for Hedwig, Sirius and Remus and he doesn't really grieve that much in general at all. What is up with that?
Ron imitating the sounds of parseltongue. Sorry, when exactly did Ron become a linguist? He's only heard Harry use parseltongue to say 'open' twice. The first in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and the second with the locket. Ron hasn't shown any previous linguistic ability at all. I happen to know a bit about languages having studied some French and Latin and though I am not fluent by any means in either, I still know that learning a new language or even a simple phrase in a language takes time and practice and I just can't see Ron practicing parseltongue in his spare time. Also, it was implied in Chamber of Secrets that parseltongue is an inherited gift. I can accept Harry being able to do it because of the horcrux but Ron being able to mimic the sound of it after only hearing it twice in his life with five years between those two times? Not likely. The most he should've been able to realistically accomplish is gibberish.
Basilisk venom still being usable after six years? Also not likely, particularly since no special precautions were taken to preserve it.
If Voldemort was using Lucius Malfoy's home as a base then he surely would've thought to check on the diary horcrux. Evil doesn't have to mean stupid and Voldemort was described as being the brightest wizard of his generation. So why then, after learning that the diary was destroyed, didn't Voldemort make another horcrux to replace it and then go check up on his other ones? I can accept the answer to the former being that Voldemort was simply unable to make more horcruxes because he's split his soul too many times but that still would not excuse him for not following the Evil Overlord list and shifting the locations of his existing horcruxes and reinforcing their defenses. Then again, Voldemort ignores the Evil Overlord list in so many other ways as well.
Side-along apparation. If this is really possible, then why did Harry and the Advance Guard have to fly brooms to Grimmauld Place? I would have accepted side-along apparation as only being possible if the apparator is a really powerful wizard like Dumbledore or Voldemort. Side-along apparation, however, was never explained in the last two books, it just appeared out of nowhere. And lets not even talk about Voldemort suddenly being able to fly...
Death Eaters having difficulty hitting man sized targets at 10 yards, also known as the stormtrooper effect. At least HBP provides the Felix Felicas to explain why no one was hurt but that potion isn't present in the Department of Mysteries so I have to wonder just what the Death Eaters were doing while Voldemort was sending Harry the visions in OotP. Whatever it was, it certainly didn't involve brushing up on their markmanship...
Going along with this, I reread Ootp and realized that Ginny incapacitated by a stunner, a Stunner! These are Death Eaters we're talking about.
Taboo. Where did this come from and what is up with it? Why didn't the Ministry make the Unforgivables Taboo?
For that matter, why didn't the Ministry simply roll up Sirius Black's sleeve? Or the sleeves of the real Death Eaters like Lucius Malfoy?
Snape. Dumbledore let him ruin 16 years of Potions educations. Is it any wonder that when the Second War began, that there was serious shortage of Aurors, Healers and other careers requiring Potions. No wonder the Ministry was so easily taken over. It almost makes one wonder...
Harry's scar being a horcrux ties up one plot thread but opens a new can of worms, namely if Quirrel was burned merely for having Voldemort inside him (the ostensible reason for why Voldemort wanted Harry's blood in the ritual) then how is it that Harry could carry around a piece of Voldemort's soul inside him for over sixteen years and have nothing at all happen to it until Voldemort's Killing Curse in DH? Shouldn't Lily Potter's protection have destroyed it? Or couldn't it have been destroyed when Harry used love to end Voldemort's possession of him in Ootp? And why did we never see Harry use the power of love ever again? And why was Occlumency suddenly no longer important? I'll say why... because Rowling wanted Harry to have access to Voldemort's mind because the plot of DH required that but she didn't want it to be the other way around because then Harry could be manipulated. In the context of DH and even HBP, Ootp was totally irrelevant.
Never mind the fact that I really doubt you could carry around a piece of Voldemort's soul inside you for years and years and have it not affect you at all. If the locket had the effect that it did on the trio, then the scar should've had an even greater effect on Harry. A story that explores this is 'Harry Potter and the Curse of a Soul' by reckoner929.
In DH, Dumbledore claimed that he didn't think he could be trusted in a position of power as the ostensible reason why he never took the job of Minister of Magic. Rowling seems to have totally forgotten all the titles she loaded him up with in PS/SS: in addition to being the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore was also the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot (the High Court at least), the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW (the Magical UN) and also a 'Grand Sorcerer', whatever that means. And yet he seems to hold himself as totally unaccountable whenever the Ministry screws up. Which only proves that Dumbledore is a politician.
The Unforgivables in DH: Suddenly everyone's using them and the Death Eaters are training students to use them, even Neville Longbottom and Harry's other allies. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why didn't Voldie just have all of Harry's allies killed? And I find it hard to believe that he could've taken over the Ministry so easily without something else going on that we weren't told about.
Memory Charms: Really there isn't much of a difference between what Hermione did to her parents and what she did to the Death Eaters.
Possession: Ginny claims not to remember the diary possessing her. The diary itself also makes this claim. Yet, Harry's experience in the DoM when Voldemort possesses him is very different. He is perfectly aware the whole time of what is going on. Either the diary made Ginny forget afterwards...or both Ginny and the diary lied. A case could reasonably be made for either one but we do know that Ginny is capable of lying to her own mother with a straight face and that she wrote in the diary despite all the warnings her father had given her. Not only that but she stole it back and wrote in it again after trying to get rid of it. What does that say about Ginny's character?
In HBP, Voldemort was blocking Harry out of his mind with Occlumency. What on earth possessed him to stop doing that in DH?
Silent spellcasting: Introduced in Ootp. Important in HBP. Totally neglected in DH. WTF??
In DH, Harry turned out to not be a hero at all. All along he was being shaped to become a marytr because Dumbledore was too lazy to train him properly. If anyone says that Dumbledore didn't have enough time to train Harry a lot, to that I reply: Well Dumbledore certainly had enough time to be the Headmaster of Hogwarts, the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW and Grand Sorcerer all at the same time! If that left Dumbledore with too little time to train Harry properly, then its nobody's fault but his own for taking on so many full-time jobs. If anyone who says that Harry couldn't have been trained to defeat Voldemort in seven years, to that I reply: Harry as a thirteen year old conjured a fully corporeal Patronus (something that most adults can't even do) that was powerful enough to drive off over a hundred dementors. Then, as a fourteen year old, he threw off Voldemort's Imperious Curse after only a single lesson with the fake Moody and then the following year was able to partially resist Snape's repeated Mind-raping of him and then, even after all that, still managed to expel Voldemort from his mind. Weak? Harry was anything but weak! Therefore, Dumbledore was either senile, stupid, lazy or a MOB deliberately promoting mediocrity.
Rowling claims not to like stories with contradictions and inconsistency. Right...what has she been smoking?
Nitpicks from reading too much Harry Potter fanfiction:
Banishing Charms are the opposite of Summoning Charms, they send objects flying away from you. Far too many fics, however, describe the act of 'Banishing' something in a context more appropriate for a Vanishing Spell. I, however, usually put this down to the influence of D&D. Feel free disagree with me of course.
Spelling, grammar and punctuation. No need to elaborate here.
Describing a spell by using the incantation when a name has already been provided for that spell. Examples include saying the 'Crucio curse' instead of the 'Cruciatus curse' and the 'stupefy spell' instead of the stunner.
Unrealistic descriptions. Smutty fics are particularly notorious for this.
And that brings me to my next nitpick, smut at unrealistic ages.
Changes to characters. This goes along with the above two nitpicks but I really don't like fics in which Hermione suddenly becomes a perfect 10. She has always struck me as being more of a 'girl-next-door' type. Going along with this is personality changes. For example Hermione only allowed a 20 foot giant who couldn't speak very good English to abbreviate her name, she never tolerated it otherwise and even forced Viktor Krum to at least come to an approximately correct pronunciation for her name. I can relate to this from personal experience. My name is Benjamin and I never allow anyone to abbreviate it to 'Ben', those who try are quickly corrected. Most of the members of my family are much the same. Similarly, Hermione is a strong-willed women and isn't about to start liking Quidditch just because she starts dating a Quidditch player; she doesn't even take the time to correctly pronounce 'Wronski feint'. The only reason she even goes to the games is because of Harry. Snogging him for winning sure but debating the finer points of the game in a casual conversation? In the words of one of my least favorite characters, not bloody likely.
A relationship should, in my opinion, develop at the same rate as the rest of the plot. Lines like 'I've loved you since first year' are simply not acceptable. They're teenagers for crying out loud. That being said, there are also fics which take far too long simply getting them together like Vox Coporis by MissAnnThropic. Going along with this post HBP fics, even those which use love potions to explain H/G, should still take some time to set up HHr. A good example of this is Harry Potter and the Lost Demon by Angry Hermione. Though there are hints of HHR early on, it takes awhile (but not too long) for it to really develop and even longer to fully set things right. Post-HBP fics also have to deal with the fact that Hermione spent the better part of that fic--erm-book chasing Ron and it has to be dealt with in a reasonable manner. A good example of a fic that does deal with this issue is Hermione's Plan by chem prof. It goes unsaid that this would also apply to post-DH fics.
The careers of Harry's parents. Many fanfic writers make them Aurors, conviently forgetting that Auror training takes three years. If you are going to go this route, then at least take the time to explain how that is possible. Otherwise, there just isn't enough time between Lily and James graduation for them to then defy Voldemort three times and for the prophecy to then be made by Trelawny prior to Harry's birth on July 31st 1980.
I have read at least three fics where Harry claims that Dumbledore in HBP said that he'd make the D.A. an official club but then totally forgot about it...only that doesn't actually happen in HBP. Harry is the one who dropped the ball on the D.A., not Dumbledore. Similarly, I have read at least one fic where Harry claims that Ron abused his prefect authority to intimidate Harry, to which my reaction was 'Oh please!'. Yet another thing that never actually happened. Harry doesn't let his enemies intimidate him, he certainly would not let his supposed 'friends' try to do so. In fact, he would probably react even worse to Ron trying something like that than he would toward Malfoy or Snape.
Another problem I have is when authors make Hermione someone besides a Muggle-born. That just totally sickens me. More recently, I have also shied away from fics where Harry's heritage is an important plot point as not only does that undermine the whole theme of the series but it undermines Harry's character as he wouldn't give two figs who he's descended from. Going along with this are the fics where Harry gets loaded up with money at the start--and it isn't ever put to serious use; fics that load Harry up with all kinds of special powers that, at best, only get one or two actual uses are also violators. Chekov's Gun people!
Super-Harry fics: All I will say on this matter is that if you make Harry a Jedi, then you've got to give Voldemort the Death Star. Otherwise, it quickly becomes boring.
Nitpicks about Star Wars fics:
Madine bashing: I really don't know where this came from but apparently it's become the thing to bash Madine in post-ESB fics. There is absolutely no reason for this and I advise anyone who either has done this or who is intending to do this to first read Madine's article on Wookiepedia. If you really need either a Rebel willing to use Imperial methods or a former Imperial having difficulty letting go and you can't find one on the Wook, then there is a very simple solution: invent an OC. In fact, I'll do that right now. The following OC might see use in a future fic of mine but right now he is up for grabs, just let me know if you want him:
General Torick Razor was a minor player Grand Moff Trachta's Anti-Sith Conspiracy (see the Wook for details); when that conspiracy fell through, Razor panicked and defected to the Rebel Alliance. Razor brought with him a vast amount of credits and high-level Imperial secrets, which gave him a certain amount of clout despite having an otherwise incompatible ideology with the mainstream Alliance. Razor has, over time, accumulated a small following from other Rebels who appreciate Razor's hardline, no-nonsense attitude and who believe that the mainstream Alliance has become too soft and trusting. Razor still harbors a strong distrust of Force-users and does not understand why so many other people revere Luke Skywalker. Razor also never really adjusted to the Alliance's way of doing things and so has on several occasions secretly resorted to torture and other Imperial-esque methods when lesser ones seemed not to work. The Alliance High Council has no idea of this though Alliance Counter-Intelligence is suspicious.
See how easy that was? No need to bash Madine, a man who defected BECAUSE he had problems with Imperial methods.
My favorite quotes:
Jaya Ballard, Task Mage: "Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire."
Michael Westen: "Killers, by and large, are whining losers."
Jedi Master Yoda: "Always in motion is the future, and many possible futures there are."
Tarquin: “Who knows that you know is as important as knowing it in the first place.”
Anonymous: “Love is a journey, not a destination."
Albert Einstein: "What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right."
Lamentations 5:19: "But you, O Lord, reign forever; your throne endures to all generations."
Thirteen Reasons why the United States government is worse than the Mafia.
#13: If you want nothing to do with the mafia they will leave you alone. They generally go out of their way not to involve others that are not connected to them. The government, on the other hand, goes out of its way to get involved in everyone’s life whether you want it or not.
#12: An incompetent person in the mafia gets terminated with a bullet. An incompetent person in the government gets a promotion and a bigger office.
#11: If you owe money to the mafia and then pay them, they leave you alone. But if you owe back taxes, the IRS will never leave you alone even after you pay them.
#10: The Mafia has a sense of honor. If they say they will do something, they’ll do it. If the government says it will do something, you can count on it only if you’re getting screwed.
#9: The Mafia code of conduct is simple, clear, easy to understand and unfettered from millions of regulations.
#8: When the mafia goes to war there is little collateral damage to civilians. War is the health of the state, but for the mafia it’s bad for business.
#7: Instead of banning drugs or alcohol, the mafia peacefully provides high quality products to people who want them.
#6: When you buy protection from the mafia, you get protection. The mafia limits violent crime in the areas they protect, when you buy protection from the state you can dial 911 and die.
#5: The mafia’s protection is much less expensive than the states. The mafia wants around 10- 15% of your profits and the various levels of government agencies want at least 45% of your profits.
#4: Unlike the state, the mafia actually wants your business to succeed. They understand that without your business succeeding you will be unable to pay for their protection. Government bureaucrats get paid no matter what.
#3: The mafia won’t keep you from having a gun. The state wants you disarmed. The mafia gladly sells you the weapons you need to protect yourself.
#2: The state wants to regulate what you want to do in your bedroom. The mafia will sell you whatever you want for your private enjoyment.
#1: The mafia has a great sense of style, they dress far better than government bureaucrats and they are much easier on the eyes.
I'm not saying that the Mafia is the best government, or even a good government. But I am saying that they meet the objective criteria to be considered a government and that it is sad but true that many government policies have become more objectionable than their equivalent mafia policies.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
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