pretzel-logic
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Poll: Will Xander still be able to see Pitch when the events of BtVS and RotG begins? Vote Now!
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Joined 09-10-06, id: 1131877, Profile Updated: 01-02-14
Author has written 11 stories for Trigun, Bleach, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Thor, and Rise of the Guardians.

I have a dislike of long profile pages so I'll keep this short.

I think funny thoughts. I type up funny thoughts. Occasionally, I post typed funny thoughts here. By 'funny' I do not mean my thoughts are cheerful, only fun to write.

Still TLDR: Fun. I has it.

And now and important message from pretzel-logic:

Okay, so. My hiatus is over but the holidays kept me busier than expected. Expect sporadic updates.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Life, Death or a Choice by Through the Mirror Darkly reviews
Life or Death. That's usually what it all comes down to. But not for me. I got some thing else. I got a choice and now I have to change a shattered future or dying trying. (Editing and Updating Old Chapters. New Chapter is UP! Enjoy!)
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 31 - Words: 238,143 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 2/19 - Published: 6/10/2012 - [Ezio A., OC] Leonardo da Vinci
The Magic Of Torchwood by Bella The Strange reviews
The Torchwood team have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Set between Adam and Reset. Rated T because of Jack Harkness, swearing, mature themes, slash etc... it's Torchwood!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 141 - Words: 541,120 - Reviews: 1392 - Favs: 644 - Follows: 800 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 7/6/2011
Ruin the Red Curtains by NineLaws reviews
After an uneasy meeting at night, Pitch and Toothiana are captured by a freak show circus which plans to use them as the main attraction. Their daily life soon becomes a cruel stage where behind the curtains, brutality is the teaching of obedience - Pitch and Tooth may even have to grow to protect and help one another, but falling in love is out of the question ..Isn't it? ON HOLD
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,943 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 12/21/2014 - Published: 8/8/2013 - [Pitch, Tooth]
All for the Sake of Pleasure by Kanemoshi reviews
When Tsunade cons Iruka into helping her win her latest bet with Jiraiya, things go a little awry and the chuunin finds himself in a situation that most certainly was not part of his mission. Iruka/Kakashi Mpreg
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 287,358 - Reviews: 1376 - Favs: 831 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 11/29/2014 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Iruka U., Kakashi H.
Lelouch of Britannia by Cal reflector reviews
History often hinges on a moment. What if young Lelouch avoided the fate of exile and remained with the royal family? All roles become reversed. The tale of Lelouch's quest for power and vengeance as the Black Prince of the Empire.
Code Geass - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 138,685 - Reviews: 2886 - Favs: 3,725 - Follows: 3,264 - Updated: 6/21/2014 - Published: 10/2/2007 - Lelouch L.
Monochrome by Sumi-Sprite reviews
Fill for a KINK Prompts on DreamWidth. The Black Knight is one of the oldest Guardians, perhaps older than MiM, and his goal is as simple as it is resolute; defeat Pitch and his fearling army. Thought to be a suit of soulless armor, the truth is far more complicated... Prompt by 'pretzel logic'.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,373 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/8/2014 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Pitch
Remembrance of Things Past by Wynn reviews
The next in the series, after "The Animal Inside" and "The Dog Days are Over." 'Isn't it funny, the way the worlds turn and the fates fall.' During his travels around the world, Loki crosses Victor von Doom, and Natasha must delve into Loki's past as well as her own in order to save them both. On hiatus, possibly to be finished next year.
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 206,275 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 2/3/2014 - Published: 7/11/2012 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Loki
Embers by Vathara reviews
Dragon's fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world... Follows "Theft Absolute".
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 91 - Words: 757,722 - Reviews: 7976 - Favs: 4,511 - Follows: 2,886 - Updated: 1/18/2014 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Zuko, Iroh - Complete
A Brick to the Face by Xerxies19 reviews
A collection of SeiferxHayner drabbles/ficlets to be updated daily. Slash, Seiner, various ratings, some alternate universe fics.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 81 - Words: 169,354 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 2/3/2013 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Seifer, Hayner
Desert Bloom by lunaschild reviews
He never questioned his oath, until she crossed his path once again. She gave up adventuring, but agreed to help. Now the fates had something set in store for them both, but would he forsake his honor to go after the one thing he wanted most? A/U
Final Fantasy XII - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 62,506 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10/18/2012 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Basch, Penelo
Here We Go Again by Night Companion reviews
Nero goes to Dante in hopes of finding Kyrie, who's been abducted, again. Trish and Lady join in the search. Kyrie, using her wits, must survive and tame a returned Devil until Nero can find her. The old song and dance number has added a new tune. NeroXKyrie, DanteXTrish
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 206,840 - Reviews: 385 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 9/25/2012 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Dante, Vergil
Momentum by fairytalevillain reviews
Loki appears in Tony's room one night and starts a chain of events that may or may not mean Tony falls for the one person he probably isn't meant to.
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,043 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 6/11/2012 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Loki, Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
For Want of a Quill by veytta reviews
First Year AU. Alternate Sorting. Ron finds a different compartment to sit in, Harry travels alone to Hogwarts and that small change changes the world in ways big and small. No pairings!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,881 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 494 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 2/23/2012 - Harry P., Draco M.
Unpredictable by Namantos reviews
Angst. Constantly ignored, Keigo decides to erase every online chat he ever registered on to avoid his "friends", but before he terminates his last profile there is a mail in his inbox from a stranger. He decides to read it. Multi-pairings.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 112,594 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Keigo A., Grimmjow J.
The Rooster by staceums reviews
Takes place right after Terminator Salvation; an alternative ending with believability and where it all goes from there. Mostly focuses on Marcus, his past, present, and future - including his new allies. Blair x Marcus undertones.
Terminator - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 30,723 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Marcus W., Blair W.
Turncoat by elizaye reviews
Switching sides. "I have only one condition, and I trust it won't be hard for you to meet. I want Granger." Rated M for sex/language/torture.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 101 - Words: 256,732 - Reviews: 6917 - Favs: 4,916 - Follows: 2,351 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 5/29/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Rob Thy Neighbour by Wynneception reviews
Merrill meets a burglar! Oh, it's so very exciting!
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,600 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 24 - Published: 8/30/2011 - Merrill - Complete
Ninetenths by Maurelle reviews
They say possession is nine-tenths of the law. For some, it is the law. Sequel to Paralyzer.
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,016 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 11/13/2010 - Published: 10/22/2010 - A. Wesker, Claire R.
Sympathy for the Devil by Sakuri reviews
Complete. Slash AU. In a Sunnydale without Buffy, Spike is being held captive by the Initiative. When a newly de-souled Angelus arrives in town, he may be the only one with knowledge enough to stop him. Enter Xander, new Initiative recruit, demon magnet.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 42 - Words: 106,809 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Xander H., Spike - Complete
Sound of a Trembling Heart by staceums reviews
The real reason Seifer Almasy wasn't openly promoted to SeeD status. Post-FFVIII, after Ultimecia's defeat. A take on a Seifer-Quistis fic based loosely on a few elements from the movie "The Departed."
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 206,840 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Seifer A., Quistis T. - Complete
Pet by snarryvader81 reviews
RE5 AU At the Spencer Mansion, Chris takes that fall out of the window instead of Jill. Years later, BSAA Agent Claire comes to Africa and finds something she couldn't have possibly imagined. Wesker/Chris yaoi, mentioned Claire/Leon
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 43,219 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 3/14/2010 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Chris R., A. Wesker - Complete
These Unending Alchemies of Honour by justira reviews
Gabranth lives, and there is nothing simple about it-- not for him, nor Basch, and most especially not Vaan. Vaan/Gabranth, Basch, Larsa, Penelo, lots of gen.
Final Fantasy XII - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40,782 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Vaan, Gabranth - Complete
Remembering the Forgotten by Ellipsis the Great reviews
Sometimes, I thought I was the only person who remembered him…eventual Seiner, other pairings a surprise. COMPLETE! Chapter 22 as been revised, and others are currently undergoing revision
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 75,955 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Hayner, Seifer - Complete
Sexta by Miss Lullaby reviews
In which Rayne’s shop has a shortage of guns and Xander buys a sword instead. In which said sword once belonged to someone else. And finally, in which the changes wrought by Halloween are distressingly permanent.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,215 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Xander H., Grimmjow J.
Effervescent Evasion by SecretLibrarian reviews
Meryl Stryfe has been entrusted with the care of a certain Millions Knives. -HET. EXPLICIT CONTENT IN FUTURE CHAPTERS. MERYL/KNIVES-
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,710 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 5/8/2009 - Published: 1/27/2009 - Meryl, Knives
Roommates by hope-is-4ever reviews
Set after the anime. What happens when Meryl and Knives have to live alone with only each other as company? Will they survive each other? KxM
Trigun - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 74,360 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 9/28/2004 - Knives, Meryl
Oranges and Blueberries by ColdPersianFusion reviews
Grimmjow is now an exiled one armed human living on the streets thanks to Tosen and Aizen. Starving to death, Orihime saves and heals him. So now he lives in her apartment plotting revenge against his enemies while living a human’s life with Orihime.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 34,538 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 6/20/2008 - Published: 5/9/2007 - Grimmjow J., Orihime I.
A Spark by hope-is-4ever reviews
Meryl makes the biggest mistake of her life. But someone else doesn't see it that way. KxM
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,368 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/28/2007 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Knives, Meryl - Complete
A Lady Ninja? by taggerung0254 reviews
Something is wrong with Yuffie! She's acting strangly and no one seems to know why! Reeve sets out to find the problem and eliminate it! But what happens when he finds out the problem is what he himself has been avoiding?
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,109 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/29/2006 - Published: 5/28/2006 - Reeve T., Yuffie K. - Complete
Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by wintermoon2 reviews
Enchanted diaries bring solace to unlikely lost souls. It's a wizarding twist on the classic tale of penpals. What will happen when these mystery writers finally meet? HD Completed!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 594,497 - Reviews: 1469 - Favs: 1,490 - Follows: 361 - Updated: 3/3/2006 - Published: 1/3/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Soon-to-be-Fatal Attraction reviews
AU-ish Crack. Eros decides to give Pitch a helping hand or, in this case, love arrow. Too bad Eros's arrows don't work quite right on spirits... Everyone/Pitch eventual Pitch/Tooth background Bunny/Jack and OC/OC
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,035 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/26/2014 - Published: 6/10/2013 - [Pitch, Tooth] [Jack Frost, Bunnymund]
Xander Harris and the Nightmare King reviews
Xander was four years old when he first met the Nightmare King. A tale of strange friendship over the course of Xander's childhood.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,328 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 1/2/2014 - Published: 2/7/2013 - Xander H., Pitch
Crow Chasing the Butterfly reviews
Four years after Pitch failed to defeat the Guardians he finally escapes his lair, and Nightmares within, in the form of a crow. Due to a chain of events Pitch ends up stuck as a crow and in the care of an oblivious Tooth.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,419 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 7/27/2013 - [Pitch, Tooth]
Meet the Monster reviews
Mother Nature decides to introduce Jack to her father except they've already met. JackxMotherNature
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 7/27/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Daylight reviews
Pitch can't sleep, or rather, he won't. PitchxTooth one-sided pitchxtooth movie-compliant
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/20/2013 - [Pitch, Tooth] - Complete
For want of a Snowday reviews
Pitch Black has been chosen to join the Guardians. ... Yeah, no one thinks this is a good idea but Jack Frost needs to be stopped. (role-reversal) Originally written for blackice week on tumblr.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,418 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/20/2013 - [Jack Frost, Pitch] - Complete
Worth reviews
AU. Odin Knows of Loki's hand in events leading up to Thor's attack on the Jotun and banishes Loki alongside his brother. Thor can only return if he proves himself worthy. Loki can only return if he learns his own worth. Both brothers have their work cut out for them.
Thor - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 762 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 34 - Published: 11/2/2012 - Thor, Loki
The First Drop reviews
Draco's more than a little confused. When he went to sleep he was twenty-one. When he wakes up he is eleven. Draco can change history if he chooses. So will he? - no clue for what genre this is, suggestions? -
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 780 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/26/2011 - Draco M.
Walking In Your Shoes reviews
Darla the Vampire Slayer? Vice Principle D'Hoffryn? Astor the vampire cursed with a soul? Spike has no idea what the hell is going on but could someone please stop the world? He'd like to get off. T for language.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Spike
10 Ways To Say reviews
Grimmhime. Ten sentences concerning the pairing in ten different 'genres'. Nov. 4th edit: related poll now in profile.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 397 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Grimmjow J., Orihime I. - Complete
Words Panting White Walls reviews
Not sure what to say here. Knives going crazier due to white walls with Milly to the resuce. References to Wolfwoodxmilly. knivesxmilly if you squint and tilt your head sideways. first oneshot. R&R please. T for safety.
Trigun - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,216 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Knives, Milly - Complete