abexalixih
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Joined 10-19-18, id: 11336981, Profile Updated: 10-26-18

I read stories.

About me

I read mostly in the Harry Potter fandom. I do not currently write fanfiction, though that may change in the future.

Edit log

Dates are in YYYY-MM-DD format.

Edited on 2018-10-24. Added uninfected message.

Edited on 2018-10-26. Removed uninfected message since attack was plugged.

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Harry Potter and the Spiteful Sorting Hat by Evening Ego reviews
"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice with a touch of malicious glee. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that..."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 122 - Words: 524,815 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 1,133 - Follows: 1,504 - Updated: 8/14 - Published: 7/31/2017 - Harry P., Draco M., Blaise Z., Millicent B.
Harry Potter, Squatter by Enterprise1701-d reviews
Based on a challenge by Gabriel Herrol. A young Harry Potter is abandoned in new York by the Dursleys. He finds his way onto Olympus and starts squatting in an abandoned temple...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 61 - Words: 545,739 - Reviews: 11480 - Favs: 18,173 - Follows: 20,598 - Updated: 8/8 - Published: 5/1/2019 - Harry P., Hestia
Albus and Harry's World Trip by ZebJeb reviews
After defeating the basilisk, Harry is expelled for his efforts. Dumbledore was unable to get his job back as Headmaster. The two set off on a trip together around the world, where Harry will discover the benefits of being the only student of a brilliant former Headmaster who no longer feels the need to avoid sharing information.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 133,641 - Reviews: 1345 - Favs: 5,461 - Follows: 7,075 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 9/15/2019 - Harry P., Albus D.
A Sensational Story by Srikanth1808 reviews
ABANDONED: The sequel to "A Dramatic Reading" by White Squirrel - join Hogwarts and invited Ministry guests as they continue with a public reading of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", by J.K. Rowling. Please see last chapter - "Important Update" for details!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,618 - Reviews: 512 - Favs: 2,466 - Follows: 3,533 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 5/3/2017 - Harry P. - Complete
Animagus at War by White Squirrel reviews
Sequel to The Accidental Animagus. Voldemort's back, and this time, he's not alone. Harry and his family are caught in the middle as the wizarding war goes international. Years 5-7.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 202,482 - Reviews: 1114 - Favs: 3,138 - Follows: 4,608 - Updated: 12/25/2021 - Published: 8/6/2016 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L., Neville L.
Strange Visitors From Another Century by Izzyaro reviews
The destruction of the time turners in the Department of Mysteries throws Harry, Ron and Hermione a thousand years into the past. There they meet the Founders of Hogwarts, who are not at all pleased about what has happened to their school. They decide that something must be done.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 269,160 - Reviews: 3045 - Favs: 6,950 - Follows: 8,116 - Updated: 1/11/2021 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Salazar S.
Carpe Noctem by LeEspionage reviews
When Voldemort died at the Battle of Hogwarts, nothing had prepared him to reawaken as Tom Riddle circa 1943, rid of his madness but left with a gnawing sense of defeat. Things may have gone wrong the first time around, but Tom vowed not to let the course of history run unchanged. He could do better, and this time... no one would stop him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 17 - Words: 114,008 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 617 - Follows: 865 - Updated: 10/12/2020 - Published: 10/9/2018 - Albus D., Tom R. Jr.
The Chessmaster: White Rook by Flye Autumne reviews
Chessmaster Volume IV. AU. The Triwizard Tournament comes to Hogwarts, leading to more questions than answers. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to most, the power of the Dark Lord continues to grow, leaving Wizarding Britain balanced on the point of conflict…
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,527 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 578 - Updated: 7/19/2020 - Published: 12/24/2018 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lord's Diary by The madness in me reviews
Tom Riddle's plans fall through when Ginny Weasley loses his diary shortly after starting her first year and it is found by one Luna Lovegood. A series of bizarre conversations follow. Luna? - Yes Tom? - I've been giving this a lot of thought...and I believe you may be insane. (Not crack. Plot takes a while to appear but it's there) See last chapter for fan art and translations.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 101 - Words: 72,373 - Reviews: 4337 - Favs: 4,850 - Follows: 3,895 - Updated: 5/27/2020 - Published: 3/16/2017 - Luna L., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Maisie Wilkins and the Quidditch Key by MadHairedMuggle reviews
Five years after the defeat of Voldemort, Hermione Granger returns to Hogwarts as the school's new Potions Professor. She's prepared to deal with trouble-making students, exploding cauldrons, and the difficulty of being less than a decade older than most of her students … but she's not prepared for what she finds in her classroom.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 73 - Words: 171,705 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 3/19/2020 - Published: 7/3/2018 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Severus S.
Alexandra Quick and the World Away by Inverarity reviews
Expelled from Charmbridge Academy, wandless, and fated to die, Alexandra Quick is still bringing trouble wherever she goes. Before she's done, her Solemn Quest will shake the Ozarks, her feud with old rivals and new enemies will shake New Amsterdam, and discovering the World Away will shake the Confederation.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 59 - Words: 299,641 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 2/21/2020 - Published: 8/2/2019 - OC - Complete
Daphne Greengrass, Side Character by LinzRW reviews
Daphne Greengrass is on a quest to be the main character of her own life for once, but that's easier said than done. Includes: conspiracy theories, evil plotting, a Slytherin revolution, and sassy Potter. OotP, HBP, and DH. Not your usual Daphne.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 113,119 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 341 - Follows: 478 - Updated: 12/3/2019 - Published: 3/28/2015 - Pansy P., Blaise Z., Theodore N., Daphne G.
Harry The HufflePuff 4 by BajaB reviews
Not going to school would have been way too much effort, and besides, Harry had promised that since last year was a bit boring, he was going to not try to avoid everything this year..
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 26,753 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 3,543 - Follows: 3,779 - Updated: 10/14/2019 - Published: 3/10/2018 - Complete
The Evil Overlord List by boomvroomshroom reviews
Villains always make the same dumb mistakes. Luckily, Tom Riddle happens to have a rather dangerously genre-savvy friend in his head to make sure that he does this "conquering the world" business the RIGHT way. It's about time the bad guys won for once.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 106,930 - Reviews: 2533 - Favs: 7,132 - Follows: 7,519 - Updated: 8/17/2019 - Published: 1/14/2015 - Harry P., Draco M., Albus D., Tom R. Jr.
The Parselmouth of Gryffindor by Achille Talon reviews
Hermione Granger was born a Parselmouth and arrives at Hogwarts with less trust in authority (after all, muggle science somehow missed snake sentience), and a mission to prove snakes are people too. And Goblins. And Acromantulas. And… Merlin. Hogwarts isn't prepared for this, the Wizarding World isn't prepared for this, and Voldemort is *especially* not prepared for this. ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 81 - Words: 274,382 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 1,197 - Follows: 1,538 - Updated: 8/1/2019 - Published: 10/9/2017
Annals of Arithmancy by White Squirrel reviews
Part 3 of The Arithmancer Series. Hermione won the war, but her career as the world's greatest arithmancer is just beginning. Now, she has places to go, spells to invent, and a family to start. Oh, and a whole lot of dementors to kill.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 154,813 - Reviews: 1138 - Favs: 1,730 - Follows: 1,597 - Updated: 3/23/2019 - Published: 7/14/2018 - Hermione G., George W. - Complete
Trading Places by iNiGmA reviews
An attack on Hogwarts leaves Harry trying to navigate a foreign Muggle world where his life is just a story. Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione must help Harry's Muggle counterpart pass himself off as the real Boy Who Lived. But with Voldemort intent on Harry's murder, their days at Hogwarts are numbered, and a showdown with Voldemort seems inevitable. AU OotP. Harry still has magic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 138,391 - Reviews: 422 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 3/20/2019 - Published: 11/20/2018 - [Harry P., OC] Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
Breakfast of Champions by HecateA reviews
The most important meal of the day should be shared with some of your most important friends, or so Fleur and Viktor convince Harry. Oneshot. Written for the MC4 Spring Bingo.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,863 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/19/2019
Powerful Magical Artifact by kathryn518 reviews
The Goblet of Fire is a powerful magical artifact. Powerful enough to lock four powerful magicals to a binding magical contract even when one is unwilling. What else can it do to fulfill a contract? Pull someone to fulfill a contract from a distance? Reach across space and time? Summon the dead?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,192 - Reviews: 720 - Favs: 5,412 - Follows: 6,340 - Published: 3/3/2019 - Harry P., Ron W.
The Chessmaster: Black Bishop by Flye Autumne reviews
Chessmaster Volume III. AU. All is not what it seems to be. As information and disinformation spreads, Death Eaters are released from Azkaban and several long-buried secrets surface, exposing hidden truths. With reputations, plots, and lives on the line, schemes come into fruition as the Chessmaster makes his next move...Sequel now posted!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 63,021 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 12/24/2018 - Published: 4/29/2018 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Like Dragons But More Disappointing by fascinationex reviews
"It'll be an adventure," said Godric that night as dusk was falling over their camp. [Four Hogwarts founders argue over a fire.]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,872 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/23/2018 - Salazar S., Helga H., Godric G., Rowena R. - Complete
One Griphook, Two Griphook, Three by kirsant reviews
All goblins are named Griphook. Right? Harry certainly thinks so. Humorous one-shot, inspired by a reddit prompt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,544 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/12/2018 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Unmitigated Chaos by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Hermione is not surprised that Harry is spending their sixth year befriending Slytherins, releasing dangerous beasts in the dungeons, inciting House Elf rebellions, and generally causing trouble. This is Harry, after all. Sequel to Dear Order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,925 - Reviews: 939 - Favs: 4,454 - Follows: 5,521 - Updated: 8/9/2018 - Published: 9/19/2016 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L., Pansy P.
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 by Sir Poley reviews
Milo, a genre-savvy D&D Wizard and Adventurer Extraordinaire is forced to attend Hogwarts, and soon finds himself plunged into a new adventure of magic, mad old Wizards, metagaming, misunderstandings, and munchkinry. Updates monthly.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 74 - Words: 314,214 - Reviews: 7040 - Favs: 7,560 - Follows: 8,356 - Updated: 8/2/2018 - Published: 5/7/2012
A very Sirius pet by VonPelt reviews
Instead of a grim, Sirius Black had a different Animagus form, one that Harry adopted as his new pet. The result of a Reddit prompt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,227 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 356 - Follows: 204 - Published: 7/27/2018 - Harry P., Hermione G., Sirius B. - Complete
Lady Archimedes by White Squirrel reviews
Sequel to The Arithmancer. Years 5-7. Armed with a N.E.W.T. in Arithmancy after Voldemort's return, Hermione takes spellcrafting to new heights and must push the bounds of magic itself to help Harry defeat his enemy once and for all.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 82 - Words: 597,359 - Reviews: 5828 - Favs: 5,012 - Follows: 4,887 - Updated: 7/7/2018 - Published: 8/22/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., George W., Ginny W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Irrational Odyssey by ElizabethRobinThales reviews
The Dark Lord has been vanquished. Harry has seemingly won; he holds control of the Philosopher's Stone, the Line of Merlin Unbroken, and the Elder Wand, and has begun laying the groundwork for a global paradigm shift in the nearish future. But all may not be as it appears, and the fate of Reality Itself hangs in the balance. A sequel to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.
Crossover - Harry Potter & X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,981 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/1/2018 - Published: 11/15/2015 - Harry P., Draco M., Q. Quirrell
Hagrid's Umbrella by FitzDizzyspells8 reviews
Mr Ollivander has made it clear that he will not, under any circumstances, repair Hagrid's snapped wand. But the wandmaker's son has other ideas. Pre-Philosopher's Stone. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/20/2018 - Rubeus H., OC - Complete
One Last Year by CrazygurlMadness reviews
"I don't know how to remember. Time passes, but nothing comes to my mind. Except you. You're the key," Link said, softly. "You have to be." / A Breath of the Wild fic about Link, Zelda, and the memories that bind them.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 228,190 - Reviews: 1539 - Favs: 2,146 - Follows: 1,225 - Updated: 5/4/2018 - Published: 6/30/2017 - [Link, Zelda] - Complete
The Chessmaster: White Knight by Flye Autumne reviews
Chessmaster Volume II. AU. Tensions continue to rise both inside and outside Hogwarts with the announcement of the International Scholastic Quidditch Tournament. As international influences begin to creep into British politics, Dumbledore isn't the only one worried for the future. Thomas Gaunt is concerned as well, but for very different reasons. Sequel complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 64,000 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 368 - Updated: 4/29/2018 - Published: 12/3/2017 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry the Hufflepuff by BajaB reviews
Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 29,190 - Reviews: 1639 - Favs: 10,331 - Follows: 3,655 - Updated: 3/12/2018 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
The Chessmaster: Black Pawn by Flye Autumne reviews
Chessmaster Volume I. AU. Harry discovers that cleverness is the best way to outwit Dudley and his gang, which leads to a very different Sorting. While Harry and his friends try to unravel Hogwarts' various mysteries, the political tension in the Wizengamot reaches new heights as each faction conspires to control the fate of Wizarding Britain. Sequel complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 22 - Words: 58,994 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 818 - Follows: 748 - Updated: 12/3/2017 - Published: 7/18/2017 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Library Rule by dustbutterfly reviews
"All you're doing is recreating someone else's prank. It's derivative, is what it is." Remus laughed. "Merlin. Imagine Sirius' face if someone told him he was derivative." Or: Lily is unimpressed with the Marauders pranking abilities. This is unacceptable.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,213 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/28/2017 - [Lily Evans P., James P.] Remus L. - Complete
Harry Potter Becomes A Communist by HardcoreCommie reviews
Over the summer, Harry read "The Communist Manifesto". Now, he returns to Hogwarts a changed person.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Parody - Chapters: 191 - Words: 68,820 - Reviews: 1696 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 576 - Updated: 11/7/2017 - Published: 9/2/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Boredom Is Deadly by preciousann reviews
For Harry, the 'next great adventure' isn't really all that great. After two-thousand years of dealing with the whining souls of the dead, he decides to spice things up a bit…by returning to his first year at Hogwarts. Crackfic! MOD!Harry Darkish!Harry GaryStu!Harry with a twist. NO Bashing!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 90,543 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 2,538 - Follows: 2,797 - Updated: 10/20/2017 - Published: 6/10/2015 - Harry P., Severus S., Albus D., Tom R. Jr.
Conversations by SilverWolf7007 reviews
In which Remus is not going to steal James's wife. A few conversations between the Marauders and Lily over the years. Sort of prequel to Unmitigated Chaos.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 400 - Updated: 10/11/2017 - Published: 4/22/2017 - Sirius B., Remus L., James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
It All Started When Harry Stole a Police Car by Lucillia reviews
Thanks to a bit of Grand Theft Automobile, Dumbledore's meddling, and some wards that were working a little too well, Little Whinging has a new Police Constable who is all of ten years old.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,769 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 1,122 - Follows: 1,346 - Published: 6/23/2017 - Harry P., Petunia D., Dudley D., Vernon D.
A Dramatic Reading by White Squirrel reviews
Umbridge finds seven books about Harry Potter from another dimension in the Room of Requirement and decides to read them aloud to the school in an ill-advised attempt to discredit Dumbledore. Hilarity ensues. Features an actual plot, realistic reactions, decent pacing, *and minimal quotations*.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 56,657 - Reviews: 917 - Favs: 3,936 - Follows: 2,559 - Updated: 4/2/2017 - Published: 1/15/2017 - Harry P. - Complete
Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 29,689 - Reviews: 7242 - Favs: 15,993 - Follows: 12,063 - Updated: 9/19/2016 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L. - Complete
The Accidental Animagus by White Squirrel reviews
Harry escapes the Dursleys with a unique bout of accidental magic and eventually winds up at the Grangers' house. Now, he has what he always wanted: a loving family, and he'll need their help to take on the magical world and vanquish the dark lord who has pursued him from birth. Years 1-4. Sequel posted.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 112 - Words: 697,191 - Reviews: 5241 - Favs: 10,140 - Follows: 8,366 - Updated: 7/30/2016 - Published: 11/20/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Last Chance by Laume reviews
AU. In 1938, Albus Dumbledore heads to a London orphanage to deliver a letter to a muggleborn student, and decides to be reasonable when encountering Tommy Riddle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 57,200 - Reviews: 1465 - Favs: 2,933 - Follows: 3,495 - Updated: 6/12/2016 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Albus D., Tom R. Jr.
Aunt Marge's Even Bigger Mistake by FloreatCastellum reviews
Ginny persuades Harry to attend Dudley's wedding. Unfortunately, both of them forgot that Aunt Marge would also be attending. Winner of Mugglenet's Quicksilver Quill Awards 2016, Best General (One-shot).
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,875 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 1,491 - Follows: 343 - Published: 6/5/2016 - Harry P., Ginny W., Vernon D., Marge D. - Complete
Ravenclaw Bingo by GalaxyInfinite reviews
The Ravenclaws welcome Professor Umbridge with an old Ravenclaw tradition.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,684 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/15/2016 - Dolores U., Padma P., Anthony G.
Sorting Sideways by Biskoff reviews
For a thousand years the Sorting Hat has put students where they fit best. Only a handful of times throughout history has it ever been said the Hat picked wrongly. In the year of 1991, that's the only thing people were saying. On the one-thousandth-and-one year of Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat decided to change things around. Pity it didn't tell anyone beforehand.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,890 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 774 - Follows: 257 - Published: 11/28/2015 - Harry P., Sorting Hat - Complete
Hermione Granger's Guide To Gender Flip Fanfiction by Hyaroo reviews
Hermione gives a lecture on "gender flip fanfiction"; i.e. fanfiction depicting an AU where one or more characters has been born the opposite sex. Of course, when the ones attending the lecture are Harry and Ron... or should that perhaps be "Holly" and "Ronnie"?... it might get a little difficult to stay on track. A very meta story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 30,382 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 11/28/2015 - Published: 9/17/2015 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
I've Always Wanted to Use that Spell by White Squirrel reviews
One-shot. McGonagall finally got to awaken the statues in the Battle of Hogwarts, but she wanted to do it for a long time. Given all the times she missed her chance, it was no wonder she was so eager when the time came.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,844 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 820 - Follows: 248 - Published: 10/28/2015 - Minerva M. - Complete
Minds, Names and Faces by ShutUpAndCalculate reviews
An AU/Continuation recursive fanfic of the excellent "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality". Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres, the Boy-Who-Lived, General Chaos, etc., has had a rather busy year. With the term drawing to a close, Harry starts to discover the truth behind the enigmatic Defence Professor, Quirinus Quirrell.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,718 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 8/25/2015 - Published: 3/31/2015
Potter Ever After by Kevin3 reviews
Between marriage contracts, soul bonds, angry fathers, wandering eyes, backstabbing women, and defiant house elves, Harry has a feeling that 'True Love' isn't in the cards for him in this story. Which is just fine by him, as it turns out. A depressing walkthrough of the current state of HP Fanfiction.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,696 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 793 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 8/4/2015 - Published: 3/24/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., Ginny W., Susan B. - Complete
Headmaster Potter-Evans-Verres by GreatestKingOfThemAll999 reviews
Recursive Fanfic of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality/HPMOR. Something changes, and Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres' sorting goes even further off the rails than it was supposed to. Now Harry has to figure out the mysteries of magic while also trying to take care of the school. Inspired by Chapter 11's "Omake Files #3".
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,408 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 5/5/2015 - Published: 3/10/2015
To Boldly Go by Khyron42 reviews
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality fic. After Harry saves the world, Mad-Eye Moody has one final mission to accomplish.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/19/2015 - Voldemort, Alastor M. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 36687 - Favs: 29,443 - Follows: 21,446 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
His Mother's Love by White Squirrel reviews
Lily's sacrifice did a lot more for Harry than protect him from Voldemort. It protected him from the worst of his relatives' abuse, too. But when Dumbledore tells him the whole story, he decides he's had enough and takes control of his life. Set in sixth year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 35,757 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 1,423 - Follows: 746 - Updated: 11/28/2014 - Published: 2/21/2014 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Dear Muggle: Letters from Hogwarts Students by Hyaroo reviews
As part of a special school assignment, all Hogwarts students had to write a letter to a Muggle who knows about the wizarding world. Here is a selection of the letters.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 8/29/2014 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Draco M. - Complete
Proximity by 75th reviews
Recursive fic / altfic of Chapter 85 of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. The opposite of "Innocence" by linkhyrule5. The narrative version of a Reddit post where I theorize about the most likely outcome of Harry attacking Azkaban.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,718 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 100 - Published: 7/9/2014 - Harry P., Voldemort, Albus D., Q. Quirrell - Complete
I'm His Favorite! Me! by Madrigal-in-training reviews
An unusual response by Harry Potter to Draco Malfoy leaves Dumbledore amused, Minerva confused, and Severus bemused. "You're just jealous that Professor Snape likes me best!"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,346 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 3,148 - Follows: 880 - Published: 6/14/2014 - Harry P., Draco M., Severus S. - Complete
Insane Asylum Escapees by Lucillia reviews
Adopted with permission from RuneWitchSakura. When a pair of lunatics who've dragged their minder across the country turn up on Harry Potter's doorstep babbling about magic, Harry finds himself on a new career path. Despite the fact that he'd rather be an Astronaut, Harry will be spending the next seven years training to be a Minder at the asylum known as Hogwarts. Random Oneshots.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,259 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 799 - Follows: 685 - Published: 5/29/2014 - Harry P., Severus S., Albus D., Minerva M.
Alternate HPMoR: Asking for Help by qbsmd reviews
Story occurs in universe of 'Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality', diverging @ch89, contains spoilers, and is unlikely to make sense without having read the same. I would expect this to be the first (deeply ingrained) response of anyone who grew up in a first-world country. It's so annoying to be in the position of yelling at a character to do something obvious...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 935 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 34 - Published: 5/17/2014
On My Life and Magic by White Squirrel reviews
One-shot. After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione learn that there was an important bit of magical lore they didn't know about. And they are not happy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,548 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 785 - Follows: 260 - Published: 1/4/2014 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Insane Asylum Escapees by RuneWitchSakura reviews
This is a series of oneshots that involve Harry believing that everyone in the 'magical' world is insane. Starts with Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall getting Harry, instead of Hagrid, and goes in random order from there. Involves much sarcasm from Harry. Feel free to adopt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,203 - Reviews: 1500 - Favs: 4,319 - Follows: 3,281 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 5/12/2007 - Harry P.
Daystar's Remix of HPMOR by DaystarEld reviews
Fan edit of the first few chapters of LessWrong's Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality to smooth out tone/characterization, and make it more accessible to those not familiar with Harry Potter canon.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,571 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 9/17/2013 - Published: 9/10/2013
Harry Accidentally Rewrites History by dustbutterfly reviews
When 27 year old Harry Potter is bored, he gets out the Marauders' Map to tell Wormtail what he thinks of him. Unfortunately, he forgets what Fred and George once told him... AU, oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,441 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 3/24/2012 - Harry P., Marauders - Complete
In Which Sirius Can't Tell a Story to Save His Life by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Remus orders Sirius to tell Harry a bedtime story. Harry, however, is fifteen and would really rather just go to sleep. Oh, and Sirius's story sucks.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 200 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
A Curse of Truth by butalearner reviews
An avid fanfiction reader falls into the Harry Potter Universe just before the Triwizard Tournament, and has to come to terms with what he's lost, take advantage of what he's gained, and figure out how to deal with the truths he's hiding. Complete! Detailed rune magic, witty banter...not your usual SI, so give it a shot! See my author page for more info.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 198,847 - Reviews: 1293 - Favs: 4,409 - Follows: 2,467 - Updated: 3/3/2013 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G., OC, Daphne G. - Complete
When In Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281 reviews
When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 114,644 - Reviews: 2994 - Favs: 3,733 - Follows: 2,271 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Harry P., Gilderoy L. - Complete
A Seemingly Simple Game by Sarah1281 reviews
Faced with nothing better to do, the Trio break out Monopoly. Complicated by the fact that Ron's never played before and this IS Hogwarts, the game somehow becomes rife with outrageous corruption, lousy service, and jail time for minor traffic violations
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,735 - Reviews: 406 - Favs: 2,409 - Follows: 790 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Best Revenge by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
AU. Yes, the old Snape retrieves Harry from the Dursleys formula. I just had to write one. Everything changes, because the best revenge is living well. T for Mentor Snape's occasional naughty language. Supportive Minerva. Over three million hits!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 213,669 - Reviews: 7120 - Favs: 11,842 - Follows: 5,943 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
On a Train, Switching Tracks by Mede reviews
First year: "Celebrities," Harry said. "Fame makes them mad. I take it the wizarding world doesn't really have them, then?" Draco and Ron exchanged glances. "No, not really." AU, assorted oneshots and snippets.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,534 - Reviews: 887 - Favs: 4,238 - Follows: 3,364 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Harry P., Ron W., Draco M., Neville L.
And Bits of Fluff by Teufel1987 reviews
What if clearing your mind isn't the only way to keep people out of your head?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,539 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 890 - Follows: 267 - Published: 11/28/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Best Revenge: Time of the Basilisk by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
AU: The continuation of Book I. Not all of Tom Riddle is gone. A mysterious journal and a new Defense teacher pose challenges for Harry and his guardian. T for Mentor Snape's occasional naughty language. Supportive Minerva.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 108,739 - Reviews: 2698 - Favs: 4,358 - Follows: 1,744 - Updated: 11/14/2010 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Strange Disappearance of SallyAnne Perks by Paimpont reviews
Harry recalls that a pale little girl called Sally-Anne was sorted into Hufflepuff during his first year, but no one else remembers her. Was there really a Sally-Anne? Harry and Hermione set out to solve the chilling mystery of the lost Hogwarts student.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,835 - Reviews: 1977 - Favs: 5,753 - Follows: 1,855 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Another Year of Christmas Disasters by SilverWolf7007 reviews
The Gryffindor Common Room has a palm tree, a small forest of pine trees, more tinsel than can possibly be safe, and the constant sound of drums. Obviously, Harry is personalizing the Twelve Days of Christmas. Backwards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 574 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Why One Must Not Attempt To Analyze A Child Genius by fiercejinx reviews
"Artemis Fowl had retired half a dozen counselors from St. Barleby's already this year." Here's how. Six chapters, one for each psychologist losin' it.'
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,547 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 1,720 - Follows: 404 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Artemis F. - Complete
The C Word by fiercejinx reviews
Why Artemis was so keen on GETTING RID OF those psychologists. Butler really should have known better.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 878 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 79 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Artemis F. - Complete
Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 reviews
So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 162,639 - Reviews: 16238 - Favs: 27,694 - Follows: 11,709 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Marcia's Birthday by Defying Silence reviews
Today is Marcia's birthday, and does anyone remember it? Follow Marcia's hilarious day as she tries to get someone to say "Happy Birthday" to her. Is it even worth it? Magyk in a Box is not on hold. ONESHOT. R&R
Septimus Heap - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/6/2009 - Marcia O., Septimus H. - Complete
Majesty by Kelly Chambliss reviews
Once upon a time, a great queen met a very powerful witch. . . Minerva McGonagall and Queen Elizabeth II
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,176 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 33 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Minerva M., Kingsley S. - Complete
Once a Month by SilverWolf7007 reviews
James knew why Remus went home once a month. Of course he knew. How could he not? They shared the same dorm room, after all, and James was apparently far more observant than Sirius or Peter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,103 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 81 - Published: 5/16/2009 - James P., Remus L. - Complete
Harry's Little Army of Psychos by RuneWitchSakura reviews
Oneshot from Ron’s POV. Ron tries to explain to the twins just how Harry made the Ministry of Magic make a new classification for magical creatures, and why the puffskeins were now considered the scariest magical creature of all time. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,308 - Reviews: 849 - Favs: 7,920 - Follows: 1,866 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
The Twelve Disasters of Christmas by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Hermione and the others aren’t sure why, but the leadup to Christmas in Gryffindor Tower seems to be fraught with nothing but chaos, mistakes, and of course, Harry trying to be helpful.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,992 - Reviews: 344 - Favs: 1,080 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 12/14/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Searching for Potter by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Hermione is waylaid by a frantic Draco Malfoy demanding to know where Harry is. Or so it would seem...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 545 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 108 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish reviews
The true story of how Harry and Ginny's kids got their names. Really, it's all Snape's fault. Crackfic oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 567 - Favs: 3,551 - Follows: 517 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
The Little Necromancer Who Sucked by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Harry is attempting to summon a spirit. He gets something else entirely. Luna is vaguely impressed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 127 - Published: 5/31/2008 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Hogwarts Houses Divided by Inverarity reviews
The war is over, and all is well, they say, but the wounds remain unhealed. Bitterness divides the Houses of Hogwarts. Can the first children born since the war's end begin a new era, or will the enmities of their parents be their permanent legacy?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 205,083 - Reviews: 987 - Favs: 1,760 - Follows: 611 - Updated: 4/22/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Teddy L., OC - Complete
Cauterize by Lady Altair reviews
"Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 1791 - Favs: 8,941 - Follows: 1,228 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Dennis C. - Complete
Reine by CrazygurlMadness reviews
It seemed, honestly, that Link's selflessness and his utter generosity made him the most notorious nobody in town. Zelink, oneshot.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,611 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 853 - Follows: 129 - Published: 9/30/2007 - [Link, Zelda] - Complete
Moonlight on White Wings by BajaB reviews
Something for Hegwig. Written before Deathly Hallows was released.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 20 - Published: 5/17/2007 - Complete
Oops by SilverWolf7007 reviews
When Harry says 'oops', things tend to explode. But not this time. No, this time...well. Something else happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 472 - Favs: 3,304 - Follows: 713 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Just a Random Tuesday… by Twisted Biscuit reviews
A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it’s a wonder she’s as nice as she is.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 58,525 - Reviews: 559 - Favs: 2,708 - Follows: 547 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 8/26/2006 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
Tom Riddle and the Goblet of Fire by drakensis reviews
Harry has a power that Voldemort does not know of and through deception, victory.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,518 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 654 - Follows: 216 - Published: 9/6/2006 - Minerva M., Voldemort - Complete
Birth of a Name by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. 1943. A Slytherin prefect on the brink of a series of lifechanging events, needs to settle on a secret identity that will inspire fear in the hearts of the weak... You didn’t think 'I am Lord Voldemort' was his first choice, did you?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,535 - Reviews: 550 - Favs: 2,141 - Follows: 396 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Complete
Ho Mione Grunger & the TOTALLY Original Plotline! by cyberwulf reviews
Parody. Liek, ’Mia comes back to hogwars one September and is liek TOTALLY different and has her heart set on a special someone!111 how will the others react?wait and see!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,688 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/19/2005 - Hermione G.
To Enrage a Teacher by Padawan Jess Kenobi reviews
Quite a silly, weird little Marauder-Era Sirius fic. Sirius manages to do something in class that doesn't rub the right way with the professor
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,131 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/14/2003 - Sirius B.