My Name is Jessica, and I'm hoping one day I'll actually have the guts to post some of my work on here.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.
Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."
- Chamber of Secrets:
Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."
Hermione, however, clapped a hand to her forehead. "Harry -- I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!" And she sprinted away, up the stairs.
"What does she understand?" said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
"Loads more than I do." said Ron, shaking his head.
"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does," said Ron, shrugging. "When in doubt, go to the library."
- Prisoner of Azkaban:
As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.
Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight."
- Goblet of Fire:
"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret.
"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."
"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. 'According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me...' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."
Ron: "Who're you going with then?"
Ron: "What? You've already asked her?"
Fred: "Good point. Oi, Angelina! Want to come to the ball with me?"
- Order of the Phoenix
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
"Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah...she said...progress will be prohibited or...well, it meant that...that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts."
"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate."
Dudley: "Mark Evans cheeked me."
Harry: "Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.
"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe -"
"That'll just depress them."
"- and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?"
- Half-Blood Prince:
"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."
"And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said a dreamy voice, echoing over the grounds. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them - oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle. Ginny took it from him. I do like her, she's very nice..."
Talking about Inferi in DADA... "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"
- Deathly Hallows:
“I was awake half the night thinking it all over, and I believe it’s a plot to get the house.”
“The house?” repeated Harry. “What house?”
“This house!” shrieked Uncle Vernon, the vein in his forehead starting to pulse. “Our house! House prices are skyrocketing around here! You want us out of the way and then you’re going to do a bit of hocus-pocus and before we know it the deeds will be in your name and—“
“Are you out of your mind?” demanded Harry. “A plot to get this house? Are you actually as stupid as you look?”
"Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!” said Hermione. “We didn’t hear stories like that when we were little, we heard ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and ‘Cinderella’—“
“What’s that, an illness?” asked Ron.
RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy.
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month."
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.
18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."
20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.)
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.
25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur.
35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagal that she takes herself too seriously.
36) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental
37) I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort.
38) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.)
39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain, a best friend takes yours and says, "Run, BITCH, Run!"
A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected, a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay, isn't?"
A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
Friends will ask why you are crying, but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the asshole that made you cry.
Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress.
Dont upset me - I'm running out of places to put the bodies.
"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Caution! Blonde thinking.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Simplicity killed the cat--Curiosity was framed.
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Perfection is a waste of time.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women. (No offence to males)
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Normal is Overrated
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I am fluent in English, Gobbledegook and Sarcasm.
If at first you don't succeed, you're probably destined to fail.
This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force!
When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.
If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
Always forgive your enemies-nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids.
3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't
A day without sun is every day in Scotland.
333 I’m only half evil
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Jesus loves you! But everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those two flies.
If you can't baffle them with brilliance, befuddle them with bullshit.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo
The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
If something as small as a butterfly beating its wings in China can create a hurricane in America, why don't we just go to China and kill all the butterflies? [Quote from Changes for the Better by mickeymoose]
You think I'm insane...really? What was your first clue?
Did you just call me a weirdo? Yes...? Well, thank you Darling.