Oy what the hell is up yall. its been a while since i signed up and i just decided to write a profile (12-19-06) anyways there isnt much that i feel i should put down other than the basics
Sex: Im a guy if anyone couldnt figure that out
Likes: ladies. Icha Icha Paradise, eating good food, getting money
Dislikes: Sasuke, Kabuto, Orochimaru, the time it takes for really good stories to update, and other things that i dont feel like saying
Dreams/Goals: to have a threesome with two other girls, to read an actual actual novel that is like Icha Icha paradise,graduate with a Doctorate Degree,Many other things that are rated NC-17...and to kill a certain man(eyes covered in shadow/darken in an emo way) lol
Sabaku no Gaara
Yondaime Raikage E
Naru/Any older female except Tsunade unless its like some time travel fic
Lee/Any girl (because Lee always gets screwed over)
Harry/Tonks(if Harry is a whiny bitch at first but then gets his shit together)
Harry/Bellatrix(if Harry gets his shit together and not be a littly whiny bitch)
Parings That I Dont Mind:
Naru/Hina(though its way overdone now, regardless of the chances of the Hyuuga council allowing their heir to marry Naruto being slim to none regardless of his parentage, unless he becomes Hokage, then its a possibility...POSSIBILITY!!)
Harry/Hermione(if Hermione can shut the fuck up about SPEW and not be a condescending bitch)
Harry/other girls from different houses
Pairings I Hate:
Sasu/ Anybody...especially Hinata
Naru/Saku (though i will still read it if the story is good)
Harry/Ginny(ive seen what ginny looks like in the movies and im not impressed plus everyone compares her to his mom..not something i would want to be fucking if she resembles good old mom)
1.)I wanna see a Naruto story where Naruto is the ultimate escape artist. I was watching batman on cartoon network, the newest ones where hes always working with a different super hero or somethin; anyways i was watching Mister Miracle and I thought thats something id like to see Naruto be able to do. So Naruto has the ability to escape any trap, illusion, ackward situation imageanable and elude capture. the botom line is that Naruto has Mr. Miracles abilities, hes able to escape against such unimageanable odds that its considered a miracle or act of god. work with that
2.) I wanna see a story where Naruto is rediculously skilled in information gathering, i mean so good people who know of his skills think it almost borders omniscience. i read a story recently that had Naruto come into possession of advanced technology in the form of some sort of uber bracelet that could scan and record anything within like a mile of his location and he used it to gather information on the goins on of the village and reported it to the Sandaime on the low low. information gathering seems like one of a rarely used skill that ninjas seem to have with Jiraiya seeming to be the only one who has any skill in it. Konoha itself needs more of those specialists very badly if all the missions that Naruto goes on in cannon are to be believe. i believe hes liberated a crazy amount of countries when he was only supposed to escort regular folk on avarage C-ranks and they all get turned to high B to A rank missions by the time its over. so work with that. what would happen to Konoha if there was a dedicated information gatherer in Konoha that monitored everything of village importance to the Hokage(the sandaime and later tsunade) would Root get weeded out early? would the Uchiha Massacre end up less bloody? would Orochimaru and Akatsuki have many if any spies in the village? etc etc. theres also the fact that Naruto would also have access to vital info like his parents identity early, him being a Jinchuuriki and most likely more jutsus to add to his repertoire.
3.)This is a more Ero-version of my second challenge(though it doesnt have to be a spin off of that challenge if you have a better way to go with it). I was watching this show called Hung on HBO and I thought, what if Naruto was a crazy seducer of women with a specialy in MILF's. from there he would gain lots of information of the goins on in the village and beyond not to mention resources and such that would help him better himself as a shinobi both physically and politically. I was thinking that Naruto was the womens best kept secret, a secret that only the elite of society know about and whisper about. his reputation is spread by word of mouth and Naruto is pretty much a made man though not many outside the know, know of it. the men would know only of man that women talk about but not the whs and the why's and such. between all the women that Naruto has helped in some way in his career(princes and such from the fillers and the movies) that by the time the shipudden starts he would be perhaps one of the most well connected and informed person on the continent. Naruto needs weapons? hes fuckin the blacksmiths wife and gets a crazy discount, he needs tips on jutsu hes fucking the top konouichi in Konoha and so thats not a problem, problems with stealth(which he doesnt in my opinion, he DID paint the kage monument in broad daylight wearing bright orange with no one seeing him do it till he was done) hes fuckin some Anbu and so forth and so forth. you get the idea. Have fun with it. P.S. Although i shouldnt have to say this as i think its implied, I will state it anyways. There MUST be some lemons in this story. I didnt think i would have to say that but I've read stories involving Pokegirls and the authors tells the readers that he wont be putting in Lemons!! Blasphemy I say!! so i figured id state in no uncertain terms that yes Lemons are a MUST!!
4.) I saw a story once where Naruto accidently gets hit by a genjutsu cast by Kurenai as a kid and because of that and an influx of Kyuubis chakra he ends up being crazilly chakra sensitive to the point that he could see, smell, feel and taste chakra after it was done so I thought lets do it one better.Naruto was born blind. Lets say something in the sealing went wrong or that Kyuubi had one last desperation shot that he got off that ruined baby Narutos eyes. anyways since sight takes up a rediculous amount of brain power to use compared to the other senses(im talkin like atleast 3/4 of the part of the mind devoted to senses is being used for sight). when he loses his sight all his other senses are boosted to rediculous levels(daredevil senses level at the minimum) and since Naruto has Kyuubi in him and with the healing ability he has and his crazy ability to adapt to just about anything he develops a chakra sense that also connets to all his other senses. this means that he lets off a sonar type chakra that cant be detected by humans that alows him to see like ecolocation only instead with sound he uses his chakra going at a different frequency than what humans can sense. he can also smell, taste, and feel chakra. this means that about 90-95 percent of genjutsu just doesnt work on him and yes that includes any sharingan based genjutsu. id prefer that Naruto be something of a medical, sealing, and kenjutsu prodigy(zampaktou). because he can naturally sense chakra better than should be legally and metaphysically allowed any chakra based attack or ability means nothing to him and he easily picks it up and can duplicate after a bit of trial and error depending on the difficulty of said skills. he cant duplicate things that need a Kekkei Genkai though, so he wont be able to manipulate his bones or stetch his body parts like that guy who fought Kankarou in the preliminaries, but he should theoretically be able to pull off ice and wood techniques as its a chakra ability and as such falls within his perview. the Nara shadow techniques and such would also be able to be used by Naruto as cannon has not mentioned the family techniques to be anything genetically related but as more of a secret technique thats only taught and learned if a part of the family.
5.) Im pretty sure everyone has read the awesome fic by Rorschach's Blot called make a wish and its sequel and probably the various spin off's done by other authors which is a story of an emo harry who decides to say fuck it and go on a world tour to see and do all the things hes always wanted to do before voldemort with his army and decades of experience kills him who only has the amount of skill of layed back 5th year student whose had years of horrible defense training and DADA teachers trying to kill him at some point. in the process he stumbles through plots and assasinations and leading world wide man hunts without him ever being the wiser all the while he builds up skill and power without him even realising it until the end. what i wanna see is instead of it being Harry Pottter, I'd like to see what potential authors can make of a Naruto story that follows along the same lines and him goin around the elemental nations. it should be too hard as he pretty much saved a country an episode during the filler arcs and has had many princesses wanting him to be with him or wanting to bear his children. at the end of the story he too should realise that all the crazy shit he went through has made him strong as shit even though everyone is pretty sure hes a god by all the coincidences and turns of luck that he sees it as. anyone whos read make a wish will know what I'm talkin about. id prefer Naruto to get laid as Naruto is set in a Feudal Japan with some modern technology here and there and not the victorian age Harry Potter, and we all know what the asian cultures views are towards sex compared to the prudes of the victorian age,so make it happen folks.
6) The Uzumaki were said to take to fuuinjutsu like Uchiha take to tretchery and betrayal. (They also are supposed to have long life spans and some have awesome chakra that can supress bijuu chakra using awesome chakra chains). anyways what if Naruto is the next step and develops an ability to interpret any language written, spoken and heard like Cypher(Douglas Ramsey) from marvel. imagine how that would translate into fuuinjutsu and the other disciplines in the Naruto world. a subtle power with huge dividends. Naruto will bring the Uzumaki name higher than ever, theres no one on this earth who claim to be his better in fuuinjutsu and to think so is arrogance of the highest order
7) Naruto focusing on different areas of shinobi. every fic hes always a front liner direct combat type of person. Have him be a prodigal Interrogator(there are a couple of those) or med nin or cryptogist(decifering and coming up with codes), perhaps a weapons smith of unparalled ability that can crank out weapons of the same and better quality of the 7 swords of the mist with ease. be creative with it. of course being master in these obscure fields requires a certain mastery of other arts which would make him a threat on the battlefield but its not really where his focus is. work more on the other facets of what it takes to be a hokage. sure Naruto needs to be the strong on the battlefield but thats like 10-20 percent of what being a Hokage is supposed to be. and not even in canon is Naruto qualified to be Hokage even if he can blow villages up on a whim. hes still dumb as a post with absolutely no political acclumen or subtlety at all. Make a fic where Naruto tries to becomes a political powerhouse with minions and shit. the reason that Akatsuki is so damn dangerous is cause they are both powerful physically and they are powerful politically even if they dont know it. i doubt they would be prepared to fight against someone who is powerful physically and politically and has his own minions to throw against them to slow and tire them down. if an organization is powerful then create another organization to oppose them at every turn. what could akatsuki do if they couldnt make any moves without their enemies knowing or without money to fund them?
--If anyone decides to take up my challenges send me a link so I can post it under the challenge and read it, thanks--
What happened to that clan? they were supposed to be the yin to the uchihas yang right so where the hell is their clan? also does tsunade not know how to use mokuton and if not why cant she use it? they say that the Senju clan has the ability to use mokuton but the only person mentioned that uses it is the shodaime, not even his brother used it so i wanna know why that is. Senju were the top clan right there and perhaps even a bit above the Uchiha so I wanna know what the hell happened to the damn clan, they freakin disappeared. Kishimoto needs to address that cause I really really wanna know.
It doesn't exist as Minato was an orphan to my understanding and didn't know his parents and made up the name. Naruto doesn't need some unknown unheard of heritage as an excuse to being awesome. he doesn't need to use his dads name to put him on the map, he can do it himself. Move on
History Classes in Konoha Suck
Is it just me or does Konoha not teach their kids the same history that everyone else knows? The Konoha kids don't know anything about anything in the world, not its enemies or its biggest allies (Uzumaki). They don't even know past shinobi or renown like one of their villages own founders Uchiha Madara. I have no idea how naruto did not know about the Uzumaki clan since apparantly they were so crazy close friends and allies as to have their symbol on the backs of their shinobi unless it is not a history that is taught. Sucks for them
Dimension Travel/Far Future Stories
You know all those stories where Naruto ends up in another universe like Bleach, or Marvel or DC etc or is an immortal who lives through the ages into the present times, why does it have to be after he has some horrible past filled with the deaths of everyone he knows and loves? Why can't it be after he has overcome his enemies and has lived a happy full life and just outlived his family? I mean really, Naruto can content with his lot in life after all he accomplished in his past and such when he lives millenia he won't suddenly go all emo about how horribly the 4th shinobi war ended with everyone he knew and loved dying and him being the only survivor ala a Harry Potter fiction. Shitty past/prologue Naruto stories followed by either millenia timeskips into the future or some sort of travel to another universe freaking sucks, wrap up the Naruto world happily for once damnit! I'm just sayin.'