Heffalump Army
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Joined 10-09-06, id: 1147248, Profile Updated: 11-19-11
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Artemis Fowl.

Hi.

You can call me Napkin.

I get on here sometimes when my escapism calls to me.

MY SHIPS: Basically every canon ship in HP, Raven and Beast Boy, Jinx and Kid Flash, Peeta and Katniss, Dan and Blair... um.

I like love/hate relationships. A lot, is mostly the thing.

Okay, and if you want to contact me, whether it's to see old/new versions of stories, simply to send me a message saying whatever you feel like, or giving me a suggestion or something- whatever reason e-mail me on my yahoo account at "Lilyandjamesplot". It's not my main account, for obvious reasons, but I'll check it regularly. I just don't want my friends finding me on here because then they'll find out I'm a closet sap.

MY CREYS.

Ok.

For a full explanation on contacting me and what not, you might want to read the last chapter of the butterbeer story... which isn't really a chapter at all.

... I guess. IDK I haven't touched this profile in a while.


Oh, lead me to a quiet cell

Where never footfall rankles,
And bar the window passing well,
And gyve my wrists and ankles.

Oh, wrap my eyes with linen fair,
With hempen cord go bind me,
And, of your mercy, leave me there,
Nor tell them where to find me.

Oh, lock the portal as you go,
And see its bolts be double...
Come back in half an hour or so,
And I will be in trouble.

-Dorothy Parker

Birds can fly so high
And they can shit on your head
They can almost fly into your eye
And make you feel so scared
But when you look at them
And you see that they're beautiful
That's how I feel about you.

-Kate Nash

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Quality Time by BlueTitan reviews
Attempting to make the best of bad weather, the Titans engage in a little game of Truth or Dare. But when the game turns into a bet involving BeastBoy, Raven, and a month of each other's company without killing one another, will a wedge be driven between
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 223,882 - Reviews: 1437 - Favs: 1,558 - Follows: 923 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 6/17/2005 - Beast Boy, Raven - Complete
A Trip to the Hospital Wing by xSlytherclaWx reviews
She cocked an eyebrow, probably convinced that I was completely insane. “Let’s get you checked out, hmm?” ...I had never been happier to go to the hospital wing in my entire career at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Frank L., Alice L. - Complete
Asphyxiate by Aiden I reviews
Tom Riddle, he's intelligent, clever, debonair and usually unshakable, but what happens when someone unwittingly stumbles upon his plans? She may be useful after all. Please Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,449 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Tom R. Jr., OC
The Love Quiz by Sophiekins reviews
Harry takes a quiz in Hermione's magazine and get's interesting results. They're in their 6th year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
What Is A Fairytale? by LolaCherryColaGirl reviews
Despite both of them being pureblood, Frank and Alice’s families did not like each other. And yet the children caught up in it all seem bound together from childhood. Read & Review please.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,575 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/14/2008 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Alice L., Frank L.
If I'm falling, why does it feel like I'm flying? by DarkenedStar reviews
2 years after Katie graduates from Hogwarts. Oliver is just a friend, right? So why does Katie's heart beat so fast around him? With a 10 day long cruise to Greece, will the romance bloom? KBOW romance! Humor and fluffiness galore!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 75,310 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Oliver W., Katie B. - Complete
The Incoherent Ramblings of a Twisted Mind by johnnydicaprio reviews
I want to be a cherry. A cherry. No I don't want to be some random cherry sitting on a random tree. I want to be a specific cherry. Why, you ask? Why would I want to be a cherry? Because she eats them everywhere. Constantly. And it's killing me.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,899 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 17 - Published: 12/29/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Stuck in London by random smilie reviews
Me, Potter, a whole lot of hate on my part and sexual tension on his, and absolutely no way of getting to Hogwarts.Lily and James have missed the Hogwarts Express, and are stuck in London because the barrier has been blocked for safety. Chaos, anyone?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,079 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 12/15/2007 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Whitewater by GuardianSaiyoko reviews
A collection of short stories about the Teen Titans, mainly exploring implied scenes in the series.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 58,343 - Reviews: 610 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 12/8/2007 - Published: 8/16/2006
Unrequited LoveHateThing by xx.archimedes reviews
Voldemort's rising in numbers and power, and Lily can't stay with her own family for the summer holidays. And it's not exactly her choice where she gets to stay. Somewhere, in her mind, equivalent to hell. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Reviews are love.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,003 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 12/2/2007 - Published: 12/30/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Lily, I will kill your bunny by PaintedBlank reviews
Lily is on vacation with her family and has asked James to look after her pet bunny while she is away. This is postHogwarts, but premarriage. James has a few problems with the bunny and writes her a letter about it
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Padfoot's List of Dating NoNos: 101 by CaramelBoost reviews
Remus is sick and tired of hearing girls complain about Sirius' lack of dating manners and curtsey, as well as appalled at his friend's vulgar attitude, and so comes up with a list. A list of things Sirius is banned from doing on his dates. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,452 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Conversations With Connie by SuperSpy reviews
After a bet with Lily doesn't go in his favour, James does the only thing possible...He masquerades as a girl named Connie Carter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,504 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/20/2007 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Always Off The Mark by Defying.Expectations reviews
Merope Gaunt is sick of bending over backwards to please her family, is sick of always doing things wrong, is sick of always being off the mark. She mixes up a potion to change her life, hoping that maybe this time she's done something right.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,565 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/30/2007 - Merope G., Tom R. Sr. - Complete
Tongue Muscles by random smilie reviews
Did you know that the tongue's the strongest muscle in the human body? And we don't even have to excercise it! A slightly crazy LJ oneshot. In which Lily ponders on how to excercise her tongue.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,020 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/14/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The day James Potter fell in Love by CaptainTmir reviews
short, one shot, title says it all
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 826 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/1/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Muffin Seduction by random smilie reviews
James Potter was seducing her. Painfully nail bittingly seducing her. With a chocolate muffin.Neat little fic. a different take on the art of seduction.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/28/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Blossom by fictionalcandie reviews
Jasmine grew in his backyard. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/26/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Questions by Aeta Aella reviews
Jinx is injured, and just wants to relax. And get that goddamn Kid Flash out of their base already! KFJinx, OneShot, Adult
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,602 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/8/2006 - Jinx, Kid Flash - Complete
Its Only Illegal If You Get Caught! by PervyMonk reviews
Harry learns something new his 7th year...AU, Slash HPSBRL
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,095 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/8/2006
Advice from The Flash to Kid Flash by Racous reviews
Flash gives advice to Kid Flash to get Jinx, but they aren't as successful as they seem. XD A series of stories based on the farfetched advice Flash gives Kid Flash. Kid FlashJinx! XD
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,087 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 30 - Published: 5/10/2006 - Jinx, Kid Flash
Unicorn dolls by Racous reviews
[Oneshot or drabble]Flash had taught Kid Flash a new trick. Jinx was an unaware target. Fluff, since I don't know how to do the extreme stuff XD Kid FlashxJinx Might not really be what you expected.
Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/8/2006 - Jinx, Kid Flash - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mudblood, Actually reviews
Beatrice is tempestuous to put it mildly... and he's an ass. But when they're forced to cooperate, she and Tom are horrified to find out how easily they're growing on one another. AU so I can get away with their ooc before it's explained in the story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,562 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/19/2011 - Published: 7/25/2007 - Tom R. Jr., OC
A Bit Too Much Butterbeer reviews
1st FF. What starts off as Lily having too much to drink and throwing herself at James leads to a plan, created entirely to get them and a few others together without their knowledge. It's better than it sounds. Please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,194 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/9/2007 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Pillar reviews
...'Second year, you guys were getting on alright. But then one day you said something rude to him and ever since, you've hated him and he's been chasing you. As far as I know, you started it.' The real reason Lily hates James Potter. Please r&r.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,882 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/25/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
And In Saving Julius
After LC. I suck at summaries: Anastasia thinks she can save the already dead commander and make her cousin happy. Foaly can't help. Solution? Threaten Artemis Fowl into throwing them both into the adventure that may end in a slow and painful death.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,546 - Updated: 6/19/2007 - Published: 2/23/2007 - Holly S., Artemis F.
Nightgowns reviews
James is in the hospital and Lily? Lily's....... kind of the reason he's there. xoneshot Enjoy. T because I said so. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,168 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete