Harry Potter's life was not a very good one, but then one day that all changed, one day he found a snake in his cupboard. Slytherin Harry, dark/grey. There will be bashing. HarryxDaphne/Tracey/OC pairing.

Fourteen months after the Battle of Hogwarts, an overheard, off-the-cuff comment turns Harry's life upside-down. Goodbye Auror training, hello Chudley Cannons! And witches ... lots of witches (but no harem). Heaps of dialogue and world-building, and OCs galore. Warning: Many tropes were harmed in the writing of this fic, and Cursed Child never happened. NO MORTAL PERIL.

Voldemort was defeated at the ministry at the end of Harry's fifth year so Harry and his friends are looking forward to their first peaceful year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, squib births among purebloods are at a record high. A new study reveals that a very low percentage of squibs are born couples who aren't both pureblood. The Wizengamot re-enacts an ancient marriage law.

What will happen when a goblin-raised Harry arrives at Hogwarts. A Harry who has received training, already knows the prophecy and has no scar. With the backing of the goblin nation and Hogwarts herself. Complete.