Poll: Should I rework Red and White Roses, or leave it as is? Vote Now!
Author has written 6 stories for Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Harry Potter.
UPDATE 6/12/2016: I am so sorry for the wait! I just graduated last month with my Masters degree in Business, and I ended up getting promoted at my job a week after that. It's been so hectic for me all year, and between going to school for my Masters and working at the same time, I didn't have any left over to devote for writing. I have a crazy busy work schedule now, but the good thing is that my weekends are mostly free from here on out, which means I can devote more time to writing. To all of my devoted readers, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me and for all of your favorites, follows, and reviews! It truly means the world to me, and I promise I have not abandoned you. XOXO
UPDATE 8/24/2015: I am working on Ways to Drive Commodore James Norrington Insane and Little White Lies, I promise! I haven't had much time to devote to any of my works, including all of the ones I am trying to get ready for publication here, especially since my senior year of university was very hectic and now I am preparing myself for graduate school. Please bear with me, and I promise I am not dead!
UPDATE 1/04/2013:I am finally back in business, at least for the time being. Look for new updates to WtDCJNI during the upcoming days! I will also be reposting Little White Lies with permission from the author -- hopefully one chapter per week. I have fixed minor errors in the existing eleven chapters, and am continuing it. I am also working on my Silmarillion fic with a beta and getting it ready for publishing, so within the next several months there should be new things coming on. Thank you so much for your patience! Xoxo
UPDATE 5/17/2012:I will be hopefully posting a story under The Silmarillion very soon, and am figuring out either how to expand it, or make a sequel out of it. Most likely the latter. Also, I am still continuing work on Little White Lies, as well as Ways to Drive Commodore James Norrington Insane and Red and White Roses. Hallelujah! Thank you all for your patience!
UPDATE 7/23/2011: I will be reposting Little White Lies with permission from the author. Chapters twelve onward belong to me. The story is currently under works, but I hope to have it up very shortly. Unfortunately, I am starting my freshman year in college in about three and a half weeks, so I'll be updating even less. Great. But, my new goal is to have my stories completed before I begin to post, this way there shouldn't be long gaps in between updates. Of course, this might also mean hardly anything will get published, but we'll keep our fingers crossed. Bear with me. Thanks!
MAJOR HUGE GIGANTIC ANNOUNCEMENT! Everything on this account that isn't already complete is on temporary hiatus. I'm wrapping up a particularly jam-packed senior year, and next year I'll be busy at college. I by no means am abandoning this site-everything worth completing will be completed, I swear! I've never stopped writing either-eventually, once I actually finish a story(hopefully soon), I'll tweak it a bit and have it posted on here. Promise!
As of 26 December 2009: RED AND WHITE ROSES HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN PUT ON TEMPORARY HIATUS! I have neither the time, nor the motivation to write for this story. Sorry, everyone!
"When I saw myself there for the first time, with those ears and that wig, I thought, 'O God, I look like a transvestite after a night of binge drinking'" -Craig Parker on Haldir
Name: Laerwen (as if I would share my actual name on the Internet -- c'mon, people)
Hair: Dark brown, long, sometimes frizzy and often henna-ed.
Eyes: Almond shaped light brown eyes with a hint of green. Nothing special.
Skin: Pale in winter with the propensity to become very tan in summer, though since I work in an office during my school breaks, I rarely get the chance to see the sun. Thankfully, that also means less chance of premature aging and skin cancer (hypochondriac spells Laerwen). Doesn't stop people from asking me if I'm Arab though. ;) Which I'm not, as far as I know. Just your average white bread Western European chick.
Other: I'm of Italian, Austrian, English, and Portuguese descent, with possibilities of having Native American, either Irish or Scandinavian, and Arab ancestry (Arab being the result of their occupation of the Iberian Peninsula until 1492). I am Roman Catholic born and bred, but my Austrian ancestors were Jewish until they converted and one became a priest.
Info: I have just graduated (again...) with my Master of Science in Business Analysis, and graduated (last year) with a Bachelor's degree in History and a minor in Medieval and Byzantine Studies. So old, I know. To date, I've completed a case study with a business client and had our research published and distributed to her own clients, written a 39 page thesis on the historical Macbeth, and am being published in a scholarly journal for Early Christianity in conjunction with one of my old professors. I have also dabbled in Forensic Anthropology, which was hands down one of the best classes I have ever taken at university, but I have definitely realized that my favorite bones are de-fleshed and thousands of years old, thank you very much. I was first the Vice President and then President of Medieval Society and de facto officer for the Arabic Club at my university, as well as involved in other areas of the foreign language department (Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut, aber meine Lehrerin ist sehr gut.) My favorite periods in history include anything from the Greeks and Romans, Middle Ages, Renaissance, Great Awakening, Enlightenment, American Revolution, World War I and II, and onwards. The Civil War isn't interesting to me. My favorite areas (covering history, archaeology, and geography) deal with the British Isles, Western Europe (mainly Italy), the Mediterranean, including Greece and Byzantium, and early Arabia (centering on Pre-Islam and the Rise of Islam).
Interests: I might have an obsession with henna. Might. Okay, I definitely do have a large obsession with it. Sue me. I love to read, write, draw, ski, practice Tae Kwon Do (I earned my black belt many many moons ago), and think. Most of the time you'll either find me with a book or notebook in hand, or just sitting and mulling over the small facts Life has given us. I am also a very big dreamer, and I love to experience new cultures and practices. I am a practicing Roman Catholic from a very Italian family, so I tend to embody that very Mediterranean way of expressing myself. Keyword, lots of hand-waving, potential for shouting very high. My religion and spirituality is very important to me, and I enjoy bringing it into my writing as an underlying theme (not a Bible thumper, though. I express my spirituality very quietly and privately).
Music: I primarily listen to Baroque, Classical, the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, Celtic, traditional Italian, and Arabic. I do not gravitate toward Romantic the way I do Baroque or Classical, but there are some works that I will listen to and enjoy. Some modern artists that tickle my fancy are Aerosmith, the Stones (okay, Paint It Black and that's it), Green Day, Epica, Evanescence, Queen, Coldplay, Pentatonix, Maher Zain, Khaled, and I honestly can't remember who else, hahaha. I also will admit to having a thing for liturgical music, especially if there are pipe organs and choirs involved. And Gregorian chanting. Told you I was Catholic. ;)
Books/Movies: I enjoy The Lord of the Rings trilogy as well as all other related works by J.R.R. Tolkien, Van Helsing, The Patriot, Harry Potter, The Phantom of the Opera, the original novel by Gaston Leroux, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Johnny Tremain, Shakespeare, and Gone with the Wind, just to name a few. Honestly the list could go on, and to include numerous primary references from various areas in History, works from early Islamic Arabia (al-Farabi, al-Ghazali, Ibn Sina, etc.), Ovid, Vergil, Homer, St. Berchan from The Prophecy of Berchan (the ninth to eleventh century primary source from which I sourced a lot of my thesis), et al.
Copy and Pastes for all you people out there:
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer."-Feline proverb
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."-J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
"I have not failed, I have just found 1, 000 ways that won't work."-Thomas Edison
"Well-behaved women seldom make history." --Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
"Why do writers write? Because it isn't there."-Thomas Berger
QUICK QUOTES TIME!!
Conjuncta virtuti fortuna -- fortune is allied to bravery (Macbeth family motto)
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
(I Love you mummy!)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
You should never look down on a sister except to help her up.
Sometimes I think that the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there somewhere is that it hasn't tried to contact us.
Winners never talk about glorius victories. That is because they know what the battlefield looks like when it's all over. It is only losers who glory in victory. -Terry Pratchett
There will be two dates on your tombstone, born and died, but all that's going to matter is the little dash in between.
I don't know half of you as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. -Bilbo
Here's to you, here's to me,
It is better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr Seuss
In Italy, they had bloodshed and warfare for thirty years, yet they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, the had brotherly love, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.
To the world, you are just one person - yet to one person, you are the world.
The devil's greatest trick, was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Turns out, a lot of celebrities have funny/occasionally profound things to say. I’m listing some of my favorites here.
(On receiving his first big movie role in Liberty Heights) It was so surreal just to audition for it to begin with. When I got the call I was passed out. I was at my family's house, just taking a break from my apartment, and my mom came and knocked on my door. I said, "Leave me alone!" (he mimes rolling a pillow over his head) She said, "No, wake up!" I had drool down my face, I picked up the phone, and my manager said, "You got it"...and I proceeded to do a parade around the house in my underpants for a good couple hours. -- Ben Foster
Billy Boyd: And then he'd say, 'Here comes the water,' and Dom would, you know, piss himself! No, no that's not true!
Every time I make a plan, God laughs at me. - Jason Isaacs
That's the thing about Elijah Wood. He's got the biggest eyes you've ever seen, but they don't work. – Billy Boyd
In Bat Country, we were hanging out with a bunch of girls in Vegas; and now we’re hanging out with a bunch of dudes in a jail. That’s what you call a career down the drain. – M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold
I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face. -Johnny Depp
Dominic Monoghan: That’s David Wenham, playing Faramir. He became affectionately known as Daisy. So if you see him on the street say, “Hello Daisy!” And he will think that you know him.
(When asked how close he got to the fire in Hostage) “Really close. It was directed by a French director and they do things differently over there. "It's on fire so you walk through it. It's a film that will last forever, you don't. You die!" I was throwing Molotov cocktails in a studio that was on fire. We had half the fire department of Los Angeles in the studio and ambulances waiting outside. But at the end we were fine, though we did have some heat blisters. I dreamed about it a lot afterwards. My mom would have died if she knew what I did.” –Ben Foster
I'm not sure I'm adult yet. -Johnny Depp
I'm English, so I can't wear a baseball cap. I'd look like white trash, like I should have a beer and a dog called Skeeter. -Paul Bettany (And it's true! He would! But oddly, he'd still look good. Odd.)
Dom: I tell you what, Sean Astin was fat, wasn't he? (Pause) Would you like to make a comment on that Billy or laugh silently?
When in doubt, faint. – Keira Knightley
Nick Simmons: (Deadpan, trying to convince his father Gene Simmons to marry his mother Shannon Tweed after their 23 years together) It's good being a bastard.
Johnny Depp:Things that would've made me upset or angry before, or things about Hollywood, in magazines or paparazzi - stuff like that - now you can go, "Oh, piss off! I'm going to play Barbies with my daughter." And having a boy... I mean, it's really shocking, the differences between a little girl and boy. She's very elegant and everything has to be perfect, and my boy, he stands up and screams like some god-awful warrior, then runs straight into the wall!
You know how in The Fugitive, when Harrison Ford hears sirens, he'll just subtly steer the other way? I do that when I see groups of teenage girls. - Adam Brody
I loved my character in the punisher. He’s a little weirdo. –Ben Foster
Dominic Monaghan: I'd kill you if we were fishing and I found a ring.
Ten years in my twenties was too much. - Johnny Depp.
I don't know if anyone will ever sit beside me on a plane again. - Cillian Murphy, on his role in Red Eye
My generation is frightening. I get nervous driving past high schools. – Ben Foster
Good Friend VS Best Friend
A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them. A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"
A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Well, hope you liked that. Toodles!
"God is the Lord, of angels, and of Men... and of elves." J.R.R. Tolkien
|Community:||Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien|
|Focus:||Books Lord of the Rings|