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Joined 11-03-06, id: 1159032
Author has written 4 stories for His Dark Materials, and Maximum Ride.

Hey everybody! It's me, TheSmartypants. Well, you've probably figured that out by now. I hope. I'm actually not too much of a smartypants so there's no need to be worried that I'll be all snotty or something. But people call me a smartypants sometimes and I think that it's really funny. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being smart. It's the nerds who rule our world.

Important update: I'm alive! I have not, in fact, dropped off the face of the earth, and I am definitely still writing. For about the past month or so things have been absolutely crazy, and I really do mean crazy. I haven't gotten much of a chance to write or be on fanfiction, so anybody whose story I normally review but haven't, I'll get around to it pretty soon. Also, chapter three of Dazed and Confused is in the making and will hopefully be up pretty soon. It's a long one, too.

Story News

The Silver Clock: His Dark Materials. Possibly the best books ever. Hopefully my story will do justice to the books. Please check it out! I don't think that it's really typical. Lyra and Will meet again, but they have to save the worlds and they have problems and are not quite sure about each other or even themselves anymore... all that good stuff. I will say that the first two chapters may seem like something anyone else would write. I apologize for that. I've tried to make the plot more interesting in chapters three, four, and five, which I recently posted. It would be great if you could tell me if it's working or not. I think it will get better in the later chapters. On temporary hiatius. Sorry about that-- I'm working on another fic for a challenge. Originally I was just going to write this one, but I couldn't resist.

Dazed and Confused: Chapter 3 will be up soon, I promise. Max and Iggy switch bodies-- which, of course, means utter chaos. Max struggles with being blind, Iggy discovers the "joys" of being a girl, and Fang gets VERY confused. For StepOnMe's bodyswitch challenge.

Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment: A Busy Reader's Guide: A rather insane and slightly random parody of the book. It began as the effect of being way too bored in history class and grew from there. I'm having way too much fun with it. I suppose it might be worth pointing out that I don't really think that Fang's emo and that Angel was evil from the start... It's just so much more fun to do them that way. I think it's a laugh, anyway.

I hope to eventually post stories in:

His Dark Materials: Obviously. These are probably my favorite books and I can honestly say that they changed my life. Yeah, I know that sounds cheesy and melodramatic, but it's true. Anyway, besides The Silver Clock, I've got some quite interesting ideas floating around in my head. Which I may or may not get around to eventually.

Maximum Ride: Also obviously. This fandom is turning out to be a lot of fun to write in, and it's very possible that I'll do more.

And perhaps some others which I may get around to writing eventually... Including A Great and Terrible Beauty, Harry Potter, and some others that I can't remember right now.

As says my friend Akwyn: Praise is accepted, constructive critisism is loved, and flames will be used to toast marshmallows with chocolate stuffed inside...yum...

~ TheSmartypants

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Conundrum by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
After a small accident, Max and Fang can hear each other's thoughts! Oh, my, this presents a number of challenges... and what if a certain company is interested in this development? -Fax- -Complete-
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 102,806 - Reviews: 2442 - Favs: 888 - Follows: 415 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Complete
A Little Person Called God by nyanja14 reviews
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. Sequel to A Little Place Called Home. Max's and Fang's POV. Faxness. Rated T for Language and Dark Themes. DISCONTINUED
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,014 - Reviews: 927 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 6/13/2008 - Published: 1/7/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
Quick, Grab the Cheese Wheels and Run! by charmingly-holly reviews
Ginny Weasely is stuck as Maid of Honor in two separate, highly unconventonal weddings. She's none too happy about the situation, as it only reminds her that she is Without a Wizard. To top things off, she's hungry, and she's not allowed to eat her hat...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 98,769 - Reviews: 1501 - Favs: 712 - Follows: 508 - Updated: 8/9/2007 - Published: 5/11/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P.
Minimum Walk: The Failed Parody by tanyart reviews
Max meets her counterpart, a flamingoavian hybrid named Mini. Jeb is livid, the Flock is baffled, unicorns don't exist... and quite predictably, things go horribly wrong. So what else is new?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,513 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/5/2007 - Published: 4/1/2007
Æsahættr by kenansense reviews
God died the moment we began to live. [Poem]
His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Complete
The Spirit Carries On by DOTMW reviews
COMPLETED! Nicholas and Emily are plauged with dreams from past lives, haunted by strange faces. But when they meet, they'll discover how far their past lives will go to keep a promise. WillXLyra, OCXOC
His Dark Materials - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,875 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/6/2007 - Published: 2/13/2007 - Complete
A Little Place Called Home by nyanja14 reviews
Home is not where you live, but where they understand you. Post SOF. Max's and Fang's POV. Faxness. Rated T for Language and Dark Themes. Check out the sequel, A Little Person Called God.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 88,793 - Reviews: 1207 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 1/1/2007 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Max, Fang - Complete
Blades of Grass by mellish reviews
Roger says a few last words to Lyra, but not quite in the form she expects. Oneshot.
His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,819 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/14/2006 - Complete
The Sharpie Show by StarKateFLG reviews
Kate and Max kidnap random His Dark Materials characters and FORCE THEM TO REVEAL THEIR MOST HIDEOUS SECRETS! MUAHAHA! friendly version! ^_^
His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 21,031 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/3/2003 - Published: 12/24/2002
Slap by Silvver Phoenix reviews
Now in fifth year, Harry, Hermione, and Ron play a deadly game of skill, cunning, and concentration to pass the time…Slap.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,760 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 545 - Follows: 50 - Published: 9/14/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
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The Benefits of Not Talking reviews
While bantering with Iggy, Nudge realizes that there are, in fact, more enjoyable things one's mouth can be used for than talking... [IggyNudge. Lighthearted, all dialogue oneshot.]
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Dazed and Confused reviews
For StepOnMe. Chaos ensues when Max and Iggy accidentally switch bodies. Max struggles with being blind, Iggy discovers the joys of being a girl, and Fang gets very confused... [Fax] CHAPTER THREE IS UP!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,610 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 9/8/2007 - Published: 4/30/2007
MR: The Angel Experiment: A Busy Reader's Guide reviews
A rather insane parody of the novel we all know and love. Featuring: bloodthirsty Angel, angsty emo Fang, and, of course, the random Monty Python references.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 914 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 28 - Published: 5/27/2007
The Silver Clock reviews
Ch 5 up! Almost a year after they parted, Lyra and Will are struggling to go on with their lives when Lyra discovers a mysterious clock that creates blends between worlds. Once again, Lyra and Will are caught in a battle of worlds and fate. After so lon
His Dark Materials - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,097 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/25/2007 - Published: 11/12/2006