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Joined 11-06-06, id: 1160906, Profile Updated: 02-06-12
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.

Quotes:

"When one door of happiness closes another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Helen Keller

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world." --Anonymous

"Guys hate it when girls say 'Don't' and 'Stop', and guys love it when girls say, 'Don't stop'."- DSNfire

"If I were the rain that binds together the earth and the sky...who in all eternity will never mingle...would I be able to bind the hearts of two people together?" --Orihime, Bleach

Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion.
--Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

"Afraid of a needle. (Sarcastically) Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." --Edward, Twilight

"Procrastinators of the world unite...tomorrow."

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, what they don't have is a J.O.B." --Fats Domino

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples, then we'll both still have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange ideas, then you and I will both have two ideas." --Anonymous

"Someday we'll look back on this and plow into a parked car."

"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music." - Marcus Brigstocke

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Humor is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."

"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'No good in bed, but fine up against a wall'." --Eleanor Roosevelt

Shigure: And since we’re back on the subject, Tohru is actually very cute, in a sweet sort of way.
Hatori: For some reason when you say that, it reeks of something illegal.

"Procrastination and masturbation are the same. They’re both fun and games until you realize that you’re screwing yourself." --Anonymous

"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."

"Whoever said 'Nothing is impossible' never tried slamming a revolving door."

"If it weren't for electricity, we'd be watching TV by candlelight." -George Gobel

"Children in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause children."

"Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids."

"Last night, I laid in bed looking up at the stars and though to myself, 'Where the hell is the ceiling?'"

"Suicide Hotline...please hold."

"Lemon chicken, in reference to fanfiction world, is sexually aroused poultry." Psychos-Anonymous (She has awesome quotes on her profile! Go check it out!)

"Coffee: Do stupid things faster, with more energy!"

"Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs."

"The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own."

"Clothes make a man. Naked people have little to no influence on society." --Mark Twain

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned: Do not have sex with the authorities." --Matt Groening

"It takes 42 muscles to frown, so instead pick your middle finger up and say 'bite me' in a bitchy tone."

"Here lies, all cold and hard, the last damn dog, that pooped in my yard." -Gravestone

"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes." -Anonymous

Tucker: (Sees Danny in a dress) -Cheers- Whoo! Take it off!
Sam: O.o
Tucker: No, really, he should take it off. It's weird.

"There are three kinds of people in this world: The ones who can count, and the ones who can't."


Actual Consumer Labels:

Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

Bag of candy: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)

Bar of soap: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...how?)

Dessert (bottom of box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose.)

Chainsaw: Warning--Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this!)

Keyboard: Warning--To reduce possibilities of fatal injuries, please read instructions manual. (I haven't read my instructions manual...does that mean I have a higher chance of dying?)

Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery after consuming. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just keep those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

Child's Superman Costume: Warning-Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, just destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

American Airlines Packet of Peanuts: Instructions-Open bag, eat nuts. (Nerp...)


Mistranslations:

"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested the lobby be used for this purpose." -Zurich Hotel

"Special cocktails for ladies with nuts." -Tokyo bar

"Would you like to ride on your own ass?" -Ad for donkey rides in Thailand

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." -Roman laundry

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." -Japanese hotel

"To stop the drip, turn cock to right." -Finnish washroom faucet


Famous last words:

"No, these windows are okay to lean on."

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"Nice doggy."

"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du--"

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."


Bumper Stickers:

"There are two types of pedestrians: the fast ones and the dead ones."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, not screaming and yelling the like the passengers who were with him in the car."

"PMS: Punish Men Severely"

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move the body."

"It will be a great day when the schools have all the money they need, and the air force will have to hold a bake sale to build a bomber."


~Ways to Freak out Your Roommate~ (From Sessha's Crazy)

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."


Weird Questions No One Has the Answers To

Are children who act in R rated films allowed to see them?

What idiot put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?

What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens if you turn on the headlights?

Can you breathe out your nose and your mouth at the same time?

Who was the first person to say, 'See that cow there? I'm gonna squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out.'?

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt'?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped spot but not illegal go on a handicapped toilet?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in mother-in-law, it will come out as 'Woman Hitler'?

What happens if your snot freezes inside your nose?


Quotes from other people's profiles:

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, then copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull or vice versa, then copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish it was summer vacation RIGHT NOW, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.


Quotes from SakuraUchiha4's profile:

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me"

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia"

"Curiosity killed the cat, but I'm not a cat so that's not my problem."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door."

from: velvettears81969


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

True, Not Permitted by Goggie reviews
Malik/Altaïr. Sometimes the time it takes to arrive at your destination is what makes the achievement so much sweeter. The Assassins' story, from beginning to end. Maltair, Altmal
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 56,018 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 2/26 - Published: 10/4/2010 - Malik, Altaïr
What More Is There? by AssessTheSituation reviews
"Mr. Stark, it's a pleasure." Slash. Tony/Loki
Thor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 77,959 - Reviews: 687 - Favs: 805 - Follows: 1,045 - Updated: 8/7/2013 - Published: 9/27/2011 - Loki
Portrait by sustantivo reviews
A series of moments from Commander Shepard's life that have defined him, and turned him into the man he is. Some cruel, some violent, some beautiful, all of them important. No in-game scenes. MShep/Kaidan
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 96,037 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 3/13/2012 - Shepard (M), Kaidan A. - Complete
That Elf by probablyquantum reviews
Hawke learns that Fenris has some hang-ups about jealousy. Also, rich people can be rude. Set during Act III. M!Hawke/Fenris Slash.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,710 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2011 - Hawke (M), Fenris - Complete
Good Intentions by kissmytypos reviews
Masks are worn and abandoned during the last night of Carnivale. Ezio/Leonardo
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,319 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/1/2011 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
A time for everything by usagi-mono reviews
AU. Shion will never fall in love again. Nezumi/Shion. Complete.
No. 6 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,958 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 465 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 9/8/2011 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Nezumi/Rat, Shion - Complete
Paradise for Lesser Men by xxsewnlipsxx reviews
The chantry is destroyed. Hawke and Fenris find solace on an abandoned farm. MaleHawke/Fenris
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 50,393 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Hawke (M), Fenris - Complete
The Heart In The Whole by verityburns reviews
Events after 'The Great Game' leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own... Hurt/Comfort, Romance. Slash. Now with PODFIC!
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 105,095 - Reviews: 1853 - Favs: 3,223 - Follows: 805 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Like the Sun by xxsewnlipsxx reviews
Hawke was tough. She was witty. She was sweet. Now she's tranquil. Fenris/FemHawke.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,038 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Hawke (F), Fenris - Complete
Door to Door by Canadino reviews
Do not open the door. It could be a zombie, an unwanted boyfriend of your brother's, or a persistant salesman by the name Antonio Carriedo. Spain/Romano, implied Germany/Italy, AU.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,488 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 641 - Follows: 41 - Published: 7/20/2010 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
Hunter by Zelha reviews
AltRe. Just when Sakura thought things couldn't get worse, she's forced to deal with a cool, infuriating Uchiha. Compelled by her skill and abrasive attitude, said Uchiha finds the medic... intriguing. Clearly, Fate was out of its bloody mind. ItaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 69,577 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 935 - Follows: 564 - Updated: 5/30/2010 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Difference by opalish reviews
The first time Shindo willingly brings up Sai without being goaded into it, they're playing a casual game at the salon.
Hikaru no Go - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Akira T., Hikaru S. - Complete
Better Than Spandex by opalish reviews
Akira might have even felt a little touched by Shindo's staunch faith in his sportsmanship, if they hadn't been talking about their hypothetical mutant powers.
Hikaru no Go - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 970 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/17/2009 - Akira T., Hikaru S. - Complete
Five Scenes Over a Goban by opalish reviews
Ichikawa laughs until she chokes, and Akira suddenly understands why Shindo spends so much of his time yelling at people to stop hitting him already. Slight HikaruAkira.
Hikaru no Go - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,625 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 38 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Hikaru S. - Complete
Temple of the Winds by Sage-libra reviews
There is one more custom Yuuri doesn't know about.
Kyo kara Maoh!/今日からマ王! - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,513 - Reviews: 763 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 529 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 10/22/2006
The Contentious Heart by elle6778 reviews
This is just another infiltration mission, right? Granted, Sakura's target is the Akatsuki, but there is still no reason for this conflict in her heart. Little does she know that Itachi is just as disconcerted. ItaSaku. Spoilers up to Manga Chapter 353.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 277,720 - Reviews: 2179 - Favs: 1,758 - Follows: 549 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Break All The Porcelain by Karasu Kurokiba reviews
Vincent knows it is a very bad sign when he finds her cutting out hearts for use in target practice. [oneshot, VY]
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,568 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/14/2005 - Complete
evening of sevens by Memphis Lupine reviews
Years later, after the story has ended, a boy and a girl go hand in hand to a garden.
Princess Tutu - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,326 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/20/2005
Sunshine In Winter by Guardian1 reviews
Yuffie Kisaragi gets into trouble, and her whole life changes when she is maimed. Sentenced to death in a matter of months, the only person she can rely on is Vincent Valentine. Finished.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 41,821 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 788 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 10/25/2002 - Published: 12/4/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Painted Skin reviews
-AU- “If she wasn't a demon, would you love her?” Sakura's eyes sparkled as gazed at her redheaded husband. He didn't reply. He just hugged her, hugged her like he would never let go. SakuxGaaxIno
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Gaara, Sakura H.
The Dance of the Cherry Blossoms reviews
“Let me tell you a story about Gods, evil schemes, wars, geishas...and of a love so powerful that it overcame the wars, evil schemes, and even the Gods." GaaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 42,622 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 10/23/2008 - Published: 12/26/2007 - Sakura H., Gaara