Slytherins Kick ASS
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Joined 11-12-06, id: 1164755, Profile Updated: 04-13-08
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.

Tired of the same old fanfiction?

Bored by repetitive, cliched pickup lines?

Offended by repulsive dirty-talk?

Then don't wait! Try Slytherins kick Ass's newest creation, "He's Such A DICK!" , co-written with the wonderful woman, roboclaw. Delve into the deepest, darkest recesses of the character's minds, indulge in delicious metaphors and ingenious similes. Treat yourself to an experience like no other!

Join us, in the ultimate adventure!

New, from Slytherins Kick Ass!

Harry hates Malfoy.

Ron thinks he's God incarnate.

What will our poor hero do?

To find out, read Slytherins Kick Ass's new fic, "A Stubborn Mind, or, Maybe Ron Was Right!"

It's fast! It's easy! It's fun! It's Slytherins Kick ASS!

Okay, I know I haven't updated for a while, but that's because... I'm working on something new! Actually, somethings new! As in, and Auror fic, a prompt war with Naesy and a zombie fic. Oh yeah. That's right. A zombie fic.

Yeah. You're jealous.

For some super lame reason, my profile doesn't show the wonderful Naesy on my "Favorite Authors" list. I would like to recommend her to... everyone.

In case anyone was wondering, my FictionPress pen name is Leadface.

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Polyjuice Pastime by Cheryl Dyson reviews
The Polyjuice story that began with a bored Harry and now just won't quit. I wrote this for myself as a present for having 1000 pageviews on DeviantArt and I'm supposed to write myself a sequel every year for my birthday, although I'm a bit behind now. This fic contains MATURE adult content. So much YES.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,405 - Reviews: 766 - Favs: 1,193 - Follows: 1,290 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Number of Ways to Kill Ron Weasley by Ms-Figg reviews
A collection of one-shots killing off Ron and getting HG/SS together, taken from a compilation of stories from aff .net. Poor Ronald Weasley dies in many ways, thus ruining JKR's epilogue and saving Hermione. Ron Bashing at its highest.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,419 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S.
And the Autumn Moon Is Bright by Michi the Killer reviews
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Lycanthropic HD, featuring werewolf!Draco. It's dark!crackfic. Or is it crack!darkfic? Who knows? Enjoy. DH compliant, except for epilogue.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 94,334 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Kinder, Kindler, Kindlier by Lomonaaeren reviews
SSHPDM slash. The third law of motion does not apply to relationships. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 62,794 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 676 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 4/14/2010 - Published: 3/1/2010 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Come Slowly, Eden by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Harry didn't mean to start liking Draco Malfoy. It just happened. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,909 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 456 - Follows: 21 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Punishment by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry makes a stupid wager against Malfoy and ends up paying the price. EXTREME MATURE ADULT CONTENT WARNING AND I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. This fic exploded my brain.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,141 - Reviews: 986 - Favs: 1,843 - Follows: 1,085 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Difficulties of Being by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM, ASS. "You look so much like your father!" Al Potter is tired of hearing that sentence. But if he plays his cards right, maybe he'll never have to hear it again. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,186 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 42 - Published: 11/27/2009 - Albus S. P., Harry P. - Complete
Partake by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Draco has a drinking problem. Written for speedpr0nz challenge in which everyone has two hours or less to write a fic. MATURE ADULT CONTENT YADDA YADDA ETC.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,974 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 43 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Cornucopia by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. When Harry Potter offers to restore the Black fortune to him, Draco knows he must dig deeper to discover the Git-Who-Lived's *real* intentions. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,281 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 35 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
StPetersburg Nights by Natasha Shaitanova reviews
Draco Malfoy: a criminal on the run in Russia. Harry Potter: England's top agent on the chase. Throw in a few old friends and a corporate scandal and you're got a thriller mix of magic and modern. Because who wouldn't want to see Malfoy in a BMW?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 29 - Words: 63,626 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 10/19/2009 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Draco and Harry: Escorts Entangled by Cheryl Dyson reviews
PART SIX of the Escorts saga. Draco and Harry thought their problems were over when they ousted Umbridge from the Ministry. It turns out their problems are only beginning. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,857 - Reviews: 467 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Their Phoenix by Lomonaaeren reviews
SSHPDM slash. AU from chapter 32 of DH. Harry saves both Snape and Draco in the Shrieking Shack, and bonds them to him, accidentally. He's determined to ignore it. Circumstances may not let him. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 254,588 - Reviews: 1683 - Favs: 2,138 - Follows: 847 - Updated: 9/4/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Watercoloured by Cheryl Dyson reviews
ANGST WARNING. I don't normally write this, so it might come as a shock. It does, of course, contain explicit adult content. I find it a satisfying explanation for something that always bothered me in the books.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,319 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/21/2009 - James P., Regulus B. - Complete
Like A Sieve by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry and Draco go on a date. OMG, there is no mature adult content! What is wrong with me? I'll work on that.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,407 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 28 - Published: 8/21/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Hint of Revenge by Cheryl Dyson reviews
This is a bit of oddness inspired by the HBP movie and it contains definite Mature Adult Content. It's Ron/Cormac, go figure.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/21/2009 - Cormac M., Ron W. - Complete
Eyes That Can See in the Dark by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, fourshot, sequel to 'Rejoicing in Their Strength.' Draco, for a year after the events of that story. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,905 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Girl Pants by AngryReindeer reviews
Harry Potter has girl pants
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,921 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/17/2009 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Very Walpurgis Night's Madness by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, twoshot. Long ago, the English wizards bound the English faeries away. Now one of them, Puck, has escaped, and Harry and Draco must stop him before he turns the whole of England into a twisted faerie amusement park. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,736 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Rejoicing In Their Strength by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash. Draco is imprisoned and tortured by a mad Lucius after the war. He uses astral travel to spare his sanity. Imagine his surprise when he comes on Harry Potter, a werewolf Harry Potter, in the Forest of Dean. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 35,375 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 937 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter's Bedroom Secrets by SpiderLily reviews
Sequel Posted: HPDM SLASH! This is an account of what 'really' goes on in Harry Potter's bed at night, as told by... Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean, Hermione, Luna, Mr. Filch, Colin, and Professor Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,616 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Paradigm by Cheryl Dyson reviews
In my quest to conquer all possible Harry/Draco cliches, I present my Rentboy!Draco fic. *evil smirk* Harry is an Auror and Draco is a Rentboy. This is not a typical rentboy story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,013 - Reviews: 1267 - Favs: 2,147 - Follows: 427 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
War Leaves No Survivors by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. If Harry and Draco are going to heal after the war, they'll have to do it by themselves. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,242 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 21 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Renaissance by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He's not in an alternate universe... it just seems like it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,469 - Reviews: 576 - Favs: 1,010 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 1/14/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Issues by jamie2109 reviews
COMPLETE HarryDraco. In the aftermath of the final battle, Harry spots Draco amongst the captured Death Eaters, and wants some questions answered. The answers set him on a path full of danger and intrigue, and the blossoming of a new love.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 88,131 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 474 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 11/28/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Mongoose by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM preslash. Draco has found acceptance and power with the nest of vampires who claimed him for their own. Then his nest leader decided to hunt Harry Potter. First in a series of two or three shorter stories. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,655 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 50 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Take Your Traditions And by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. Harry and Ginny are getting married because, well, it's what everyone expects them to do. It's like Draco Malfoy to start Courting Harry right in the middle of the wedding preparations.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 22,206 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 1,260 - Follows: 130 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Same Species As Shakespeare by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, AU after HBP. Harry and Draco have a mutual fascination. Name it obsession and add a mystery, and suddenly things are so much uglier. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 142,080 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Brigandage by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Pirates of the Caribbean crossover. Draco disappears through a mysterious mirror and Harry is sent to retrieve him. Enter Jack Sparrow. Mature content and threesome warning. Pretty fluffy other than that.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,014 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 82 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Draco M., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Double Tall Extra Hot Draco Malfoy With Whip by Cheryl Dyson reviews
I no longer remember why I felt like writing a Draco in Seattle story, but this is it. LOL! YES, there are mature adult situations herein. As usual.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,276 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 1,085 - Follows: 94 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Ron Weasley and His Happy Little Bubble of Denial by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, crackfic, prequel to 'Ron Weasley and the Adventure of the Dastardly.' Ron is a chess-master and a war strategist. He knows that Harry is not really dating Draco Malfoy, because he can come up with much better explanations.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,553 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 26 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Ron W. - Complete
Betelgeuse by Tierfal reviews
“We are not,” she announced, “naming our first-born son ‘Betelgeuse.’” A Dramione ficlet written for Marmalade Fever.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 665 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 44 - Published: 9/21/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Ron Weasley and the Adventure of the Dastardly by Lomonaaeren reviews
When Harry collapses at his birthday party, Ron just knows that Malfoy poisoned him. And he's going to find out how. HPDM, RWHG, oneshot, crack.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,163 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 32 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Ron W. - Complete
Albatross Around His Neck by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. When an unregistered Animagus commits murder, Harry investigates the agency that trained him, Malfoy's Magical Menagerie. Things would be so much easier if he weren't becoming disillusioned, and if Malfoy was less intelligent.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 30,884 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 29 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Lucky Number 72 by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry spots Draco at a Muggle football game. Stalking ensues. OH SO much mature adult content here. Also, this fic is based on a header occasionally used on my LJ page.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,646 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 38 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
To Touch a Unicorn by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, postwar oneshot. Draco is content with his life as the new Care of Magical Creatures professor. That is, if Harry Potter and those stupid unicorns would both go away. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,097 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 886 - Follows: 83 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Bloody But Unbowed by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash. Nothing in Harry's life has gone the way he expected, and that includes being the mediwizard assigned to treat Lucius Malfoy. But he's Harry; he can deal with this. And he can deal with Draco Malfoy's nonsensical flirting, too.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 104,330 - Reviews: 1041 - Favs: 2,616 - Follows: 639 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Adrift by Cheryl Dyson reviews
This was supposed to be a swashbuckling pirate story. It sort of took a turn into Whaaaaa? but it's now my favorite, so I guess it's not all bad... Anyway, Auror Harry takes a vacation and runs into Pirate Draco. This fic contains MATURE content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,991 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 999 - Follows: 88 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Beautiful and Sexy and Mad by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM, oneshot. Obviously the only way for Harry and Draco to stop Hermione's mad plan to free the Malfoy house elves is to do something even more mad. Warning for crack and horrible song lyrics. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,600 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Between the Rising and the Setting of the Sun by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Draco is having visions of Harry's dead parents. He wants them to stop. Harry wants to understand what the visions mean and what his parents are trying to say to him.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 21,265 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 31 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Changing of the Guard by Lomonaaeren reviews
Post-DH, HPDM slash. Need a perfect stranger? Come to Metamorphosis. Harry Potter runs the business secretly and becomes whoever's needed for each occasion. Now he's posing as Draco Malfoy's "perfect" boyfriend, Brian. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 217,538 - Reviews: 3413 - Favs: 2,827 - Follows: 909 - Updated: 7/19/2008 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Rationality by Tierfal reviews
A story of love, of lies, of betrayal, and, most of all, of unrepentant logic. DM/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,380 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Like Reasonable People by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. You know those stories where Harry and Draco have long, angsty misunderstandings that could be solved if they talked for five minutes like reasonable people? This is not one of those stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,260 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 19 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Too Many Potters by Cheryl Dyson reviews
The Weasley Twins throw a party to celebrate the creation of a new potion. This is so AU it's not even funny. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,961 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 1,190 - Follows: 117 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Hissy Fit by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry is an under-utilized Auror and Draco is an auditor for Gringotts. He lives to torment the Ministry and, of course, Harry Potter. He is also a Registered Animagus. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,447 - Reviews: 789 - Favs: 1,519 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 6/26/2008 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Fever Dream by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. Surrender. Dreams. Flowers. Heat. This is Harry's haven, which he earned and chose.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,397 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 28 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Mere Detestable Curiosity by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Harry has enough to study with preparing for his NEWTS. He shouldn't waste time indulging his curiosity in trying to decipher Malfoy, his mysterious letters, and his equally mysterious jewelry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,984 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 46 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Kestrel by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPSS slash, oneshot. When his son James is wounded, Harry goes to Snape for help. Snape, of course, has a price. Harry pays it, and Snape finds himself paying his own price, in wonder, doubt, and something very much like love.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 26,079 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 50 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
When in Flight by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. When the Slytherin Quidditch players have one accident too many, the Ministry sends Draco Malfoy to Hogwarts to investigate. Harry thinks he can investigate just fine on his own, thank you. Well, maybe Draco's glasses can help.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,779 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 25 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Ingenium Est Fas by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM preslash. Harry never expected to be invited to the reading of Lucius Malfoy's will. It all goes downhill from there.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 24,017 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 481 - Follows: 67 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
NonExistent Creatures by Luny Lady reviews
Cho is miserable. Luna is clever. Femme-slash. Random, silly, short story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Cho C., Luna L. - Complete
A Contest of Equals by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Draco has the most brilliant plan to get back at Potter ever. He should really get that assumption looked at.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,222 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 32 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Stalker Wars by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry stalks Draco, Dean Thomas stalks Draco, Draco stalks Harry, and Harry stalks Dean for stalking Draco. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,669 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 59 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Survivor's Joy by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. Harry works for the Aurors. Draco works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. They have no reason to meet, until someone starts selling diluted Wolfsbane. Four fairly short chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,720 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 27 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Cruel and Unusual by MissingEden reviews
There's punishment. There's torture. And then there's this. Can love blossom behind closed doors? Or are they just going to kill each other? Draco/Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,950 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 5/24/2008 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Heart in a Blender by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Crackfic alert! Harry's unorthodox approach to potion-making earns Snape's suspicion and a "secret mission" for Draco. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,967 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 835 - Follows: 109 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Dangers of Overhearing by Tierfal reviews
Remus Lupin has always had a knack for being in the wrong place at precisely the right time.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,018 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
If You Don't by Tierfal reviews
Seems like you're damned either way.
Brokeback Mountain - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 537 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Complete
Enigmaticness Abounds by Tierfal reviews
In the long-awaited sequel to 'Her and Me,' Hell has frozen over; Draco and Hermione are, fairly literally, madly in love; and everything is fantabulousiriffic. Right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 42,998 - Reviews: 689 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 4/16/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Pottersitting by Ferayne reviews
"That wasn't a kiss, Draco." Potter said defiantly. "Very true." He agreed, nodding. "But this is." Rated for language, mostly.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,022 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 26 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Perchance to Dream by Tierfal reviews
Chronicling the annual suicide attempts of one Draco A. Malfoy, failure.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,738 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 3/30/2008 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Draco M. - Complete
Harry's Project by Lomonaaeren reviews
DH SPOILERS, HPDM slash. Harry is bored after the war. When he accidentally finds a file indicating that the Ministry was less than just to the Malfoy family, he decides helping them can be his next pet project. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,836 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 628 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 3/17/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Fred the Duck by LittleMermaid325 reviews
Fred want to makes his move on Harry after years of pent up feelings and frustration. Now that Harry and Ginny have broken up, he just might... WARNING: Slash. T for um, content.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,272 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 10/24/2006 - Harry P., Fred W. - Complete
Make Me by Ferayne reviews
“I don’t understand,” he whispers, echoing the angry retort from earlier. “That’s okay,” comes the quiet reply, “because neither do I.” Abstract lemon, hence the M rating.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,744 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Fire by Golden Blackbird reviews
Epilogue Non-Compliant, Two Part. Playing with fire, you always get burned.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 22,050 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
One Sexy Man by Anastasia Kaliska Dyani Malfoy reviews
Severus Snape is one sexy man.'Whatever will Harry do about his predicament?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,400 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 1/10/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
Why Harry Should Not Let Draco Read Muggle by Lomonaaeren reviews
Full title: 'Why Harry Should Not Let Draco Read Muggle Literature.' HPDM. Harry thought it was a good thing when Draco started showing an interest in Muggle culture. Ha. Oneshot, complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 38 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren reviews
COMPLETE. DH SPOILERS, HPDM preslash. Harry was convinced he had an ordinary, if inconvenient, life. Then Ron and Hermione vanished into the Department of Mysteries. And it seems the only person who might know where they are is a mute Draco Malfoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 140,232 - Reviews: 1099 - Favs: 698 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 2/29/2008 - Published: 11/25/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Her and Me by Tierfal reviews
Hermione Granger will take pity on a hapless Draco Malfoy the day Hell freezes over. Draco is lacing up his ice skates.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 36,249 - Reviews: 826 - Favs: 1,273 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 2/25/2008 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
High Priced Malfoy Edition by Cheryl Dyson reviews
If you read High Priced and wondered why Draco was so evil... well this might open your eyes. This is Draco's version. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,333 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 918 - Follows: 98 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Series of Inexplicable Coincidences by Naesy reviews
A news story breaks out throwing Draco into immediate action. What follows is, well, 'inexplicable'. Just ask a very confused Harry Potter! DMHP. Crack, humour, romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,592 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
Letters From Hell by Natasha Shaitanova reviews
Draco is dead and is writing letters to Harry from his new home. At least, that is what Harry thinks when he reads the letters and writes back. Maybe not everything is what it seems, but according to Draco, we all like to pretend. "Dear Harry..." Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,140 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/19/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Sexy Hogwarts by Secret Snoopy reviews
Slash parody! Hogwarts is a place where slash runs wild, without a plot or a quality check. Rated M for minor language, sexual situations and strong stupidity. Now with added slush!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,376 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Teddy Tied by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Sequel to Teddy Ties. Sharon asked for a more dominant Harry. You ask, I deliver! This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,111 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 43 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Five Ways to Forgiveness by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash, DH SPOILERS, epilogue-compliant. Every choice we make closes off one pathway and opens others. When Harry sees Draco Malfoy at King's Cross, he has a vision of five futures, but not all of them can come true.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,066 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 25 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Slytherin Hufflepuff by Cheryl Dyson reviews
In the interest of combating JKR's epilogue of doom, I present my version of life beyond Deathly Hallows. This is a dual story, half Albus/Scorpius and half Harry/Draco. DH compliant. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,808 - Reviews: 716 - Favs: 1,077 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 1/31/2008 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M. - Complete
A Potion Named Desire by Lomonaaeren reviews
DH spoilers, ignores epilogue, HPDM preslash. When Ron dies, Hermione falls into a deep depression. Desperate to relieve her symptoms, Harry reluctantly approaches independent apothecary Draco Malfoy for help. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 51,152 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 1/24/2008 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Winter Pursuit by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry needs Draco to help him find Greg Goyle before a psychotic killer does. Draco is more interested in pursuing Harry. Written for hp wintersmut on Livejournal. This is EWE because the epilogue was mysteriously ripped out of my copy of Deathly Hallows
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,606 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 472 - Follows: 44 - Published: 1/24/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Slytherin Gryffindor by Cheryl Dyson reviews
This is my response to JKR's horrific epilogue. It's a dual novel with one part Albus Scorpius and one part HarryDraco. Deathly Hallows compliant! The Slytherin Hufflepuff is the Albus Scorpius portion. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,574 - Reviews: 557 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 1/22/2008 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
PS I Love You by shmexsay reviews
One hundred letters, written back and forth between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy over the course of twenty-five years.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,847 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 58 - Published: 1/15/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
A problem named Draco by Naesy reviews
Draco hasn’t been an Auror in the same office as Harry for more than three days and he’s already causing trouble. Suddenly, Harry’s feeling like he’s being watched, things are going missing in his office, and he’s somehow acquired an extra shadow. DMHP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,624 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/9/2008 - Draco M., Harry P.
Hymn to Color by Lomonaaeren reviews
Ignores DH. HPDM slash. Months after Draco cast a curse that took Harry's eyesight, Harry is still coming to terms with it. Draco just wanted forgiveness, which was probably the problem. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,362 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 69 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
High Priced by Cheryl Dyson reviews
I referred to this as My Stupid Veela Fic until I decided it was fairly good. Harry is a Veela, for a change, since I was tired of Draco!Veela stories. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,614 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 2,076 - Follows: 217 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Secret Underground Vampire Bureaucracy by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, DH SPOILERS. In this story are an obsessed Potter, bonds, hormones, conspiracy theories, far too much self help and, of course, a secret underground vampire bureaucracy. None of which is as important as the fact that this is not Draco's fault.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,223 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 53 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Run by Lomonaaeren reviews
DH SPOILERS. Hints of HPDM. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,086 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Still Pools and Starlight by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, DH SPOILERS. When centaurs kidnap a Hogwarts student, Auror Potter is tapped to find her. He understands that. What he doesn't understand is why he's being assigned astronomer Draco Malfoy, of all people, as a temporary partner. Threeshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,079 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 35 - Published: 12/29/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
This Is What You Get For Saying That Word by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot. Well, how was he supposed to know that calling Granger what she was would make Harry that angry?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,753 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Christmas Spirit by Tierfal reviews
All of the tables in the library are full... except one. An impudent little seasonal Dramione.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,543 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 12/23/2007 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
When worlds collide by Naesy reviews
YAWN! Are you tired of HPDM fics that are like broken records? Are you looking to read something fresh & new? Well then join HP, DM and a madly giggling author as they skip down a STRANGELY familiar path in a new, 'fresh out of the packet' way! Parody.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,859 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/20/2007 - Published: 3/6/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
Want by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Draco seeks out Harry in order to assist his family. And then he has second thoughts. This fic contains MATURE adult content. And Harry on a motorcycle. GUH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,535 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 737 - Follows: 80 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Fortunate Fall by Lomonaaeren reviews
Oneshot, HPDM slash. Draco's convinced he suffered an irreplaceable loss at the end of the war. Harry's not.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29,724 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 66 - Published: 12/6/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Teddy Ties by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry follows Draco, because that's what he does... and they both end up lost. This fic contains MATURE adult content as per usual.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,039 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 76 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Keep It Simple, Stupid by Lomonaaeren reviews
NO DH spoilers, HPDM slash. Draco just wants to do his job and keep the newly competent Death Eaters from assassinating Potter. Potter just wants to flirt with him. It is not much fun to be Draco Malfoy right now. Warning: Absolutely ridiculous.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,651 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/22/2007 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Draco and Harry: Escorts in Exile by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Part Five of the Escort series! Draco and Harry return to London and try to resume their lives. Too bad they have a large assortment of enemies. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 50,441 - Reviews: 567 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 11/8/2007 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Determined Frame of Mind by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, sequel to A Reckless Frame of Mind. Draco and Harry now face the might of the Ministry in an attempt to discover who cast the Cassandra Curse on Harry. Add in Harry’s trust problems, and it’s a good thing Draco’s confident. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 101,603 - Reviews: 924 - Favs: 1,162 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 10/31/2007 - Published: 8/31/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Greenhouse Lessons by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry and Draco have detention in Hogwarts greenhouse. Dangerous plantlife and several varieties of euphoria ensue. It was complete, but I continued it... This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,226 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 1,306 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 6/12/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
As Summer Rushed In by Anthimaeria reviews
Draco discovers that his new home with Harry isn’t such a grim old place after all. NOTE: Canon compliant through HBP only. This is a PG rated version of a previously R rated fic, revised for FF. HarryDraco, slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,629 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Mercury by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Harry and Draco work at the Ministry, where Harry spends most of his time ignoring Draco. That's about to change. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,682 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 1,489 - Follows: 143 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
How to Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Parents by Lomonaaeren reviews
DH SPOILERS, including epilogue. Hermione has asked James Potter and Scorpius Malfoy to write about their experiences as young wizards, one from a more relaxed family, one from a very traditional one. This will go well. JPSM slash. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,639 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 18 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Complete
Surprised By Joy by Lomonaaeren reviews
DH SPOILERS, ignores epilogue. Harry is surprised when Draco Malfoy appears at Ron and Hermione's wedding, but not as surprised as he's going to be. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,595 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 52 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Finer Unconsciousness by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, oneshot ignoring DH canon. Some people can have declarations without words.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,014 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 684 - Follows: 57 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Small and Stupid Arguments by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash, ficlet. Draco is convinced that Harry has someone else, and he's finally worked up the courage to do something about it. But he never expected what he saw when he opened that door...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 31 - Published: 9/17/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Fun with Harry and Ron Reader by boyamiconfuzed reviews
See Harry Potter.See Harry Potter have adventures.Woohoo, Harry. Woohoo. My sincere apologies, but for the time being this fic has died and is dead. If it comes back to life I'll update, but I doubt it will.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,669 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/27/2007 - Published: 4/5/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
A Reckless Frame of Mind by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM preslash, AU postwar, no spoilers. Draco is a PsycheDiver, and his newest patient is Auror Potter, who’s been a pathological liar for over a year—and has just tried to violently end his own life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,056 - Reviews: 555 - Favs: 1,385 - Follows: 251 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
A Malfoy Complex by Billie Hart reviews
Harry is upset about being a virgin at 16, and attempts to fix this dilemma.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,204 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 32 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Flick of the Wrist by yuugata no baka reviews
Draco gets back at Harry for that bathroom incident in a sexy way. HD, 6th book, rated for excessive naughtiness
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,052 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Loved By All by Lilith1631 reviews
Draco wants to do the London Marathon... Crack!fic, humour, NOT technicalsporty stuff, COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,971 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/15/2007 - Published: 7/16/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Crossing the Canal by MushroomAnn reviews
Harry is trying to find himself, and Draco is trying to hide away. An unexpected meeting in Amsterdam teaches them that the past is nothing but water under the bridge, and that sometimes, what you need most is just a bit of bad luck. SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 61,042 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/8/2007 - Published: 5/30/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Devil's Advocate by Tierfal reviews
A bit of sympathy for Peter Pettigrew. Oneshot. Topics addressed within are a little edgy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,294 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Peter P. - Complete
Trelawney's Teacups by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Draco, Harry, and Hermione are trapped in Trelawney's tower on a hot afternoon. Draco convinces them to play cards to pass the time. Too bad they don't allow three character selections, because... yeah. Mature adult content like whoa.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,473 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 118 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Building With Worn Out Tools by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPDM slash. Post War, Post Hogwarts, HBP spoilers. Right smack in the middle of a stormy divorce from Ginny, Harry has no reason to be attracted to his Arguer, Draco Malfoy. I mean, it's Malfoy. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 129,552 - Reviews: 1607 - Favs: 3,501 - Follows: 609 - Updated: 7/19/2007 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Study of a Man by Naesy reviews
Enter the minds of two enemies, two enemies who study each other carefully and constantly, and you NEVER know what you might find. Begins 6th yr & stretches on to postwar. DMHP. WARNING: Erm. Contains bodily fluids & much panting. Well, it does! Sort of!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,461 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Abandon by Triola reviews
ONESHOT. In which Harry wakes up hungover, throws away all his principles and fraternizes with the enemy. Slash HPDM. Pre HBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,620 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/20/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Mary Sues Cometh by citygirl1116 reviews
A lesser known Hogwarts class teaches new students what they really need to survive at school. A citygirl1116® parody!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,047 - Reviews: 622 - Favs: 472 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 6/17/2007 - Published: 7/28/2005 - Harry P.
Draco and Harry: Escorts Abandoned by Cheryl Dyson reviews
Part Four of the Escort Series. *cringe* Sorry about the angst. This fic contains MATURE adult content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,317 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/23/2007 - Published: 5/22/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Instant messages, bleeding well slow communication by Naesy reviews
Some years ago, Harry saved the Wizarding world as we know it. But, while quick with a wand...he's not quite so quick with the old brain & matters of the heart. HPDM, swapping instant messages in the digital age of Aurors. Quick & mostly pain free!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,377 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/7/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
The ultimate battle: Draco Malfoy vs Harry Potter by Naesy reviews
Are you ready to RUMBLE? Warning: Story rated M for adult content, but humour pitched to a 8yo level! Alright. More like 'Humour pitched to a 5yo level'. Heh heh. DMHP. CHAPTER 5 POSTED!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,886 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 3/21/2007 - Published: 2/13/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Harry Potter's Unusual Day by KamquatBanana reviews
Harry wakes up one morning to find all of Hogwarts gone mad with… lust? That’s right, it’s random hookup time! AU, oneshot, set around book six. Rated M, you have been warned.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,758 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/11/2007 - Published: 1/9/2006 - Complete
The Evil & Calculating Genius that is Draco Malfoy by Naesy reviews
A fun little sequel to 'The things you learn' and 'The Pigtails Maketh the Man'. Draco & Harry may be together now but Draco is still an Evil Genius & there's NO refuting it! Warning: Refuting of DM's Evil Geniusness may ensue.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,328 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 2/28/2007 - Published: 2/15/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
The pigtails maketh the man by Naesy reviews
Draco Malfoy looks good in anything, right? That's what HE used to think too! Features traumatised hair, house elves, & tea cups! A little one shot addition to my other fic: The Things You Learn. Sorry people, you've got to read that one first. DMHP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,515 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/8/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The things you learn by Naesy reviews
The oh so untouchable Draco Malfoy is 28 and about to get his feathers ruffled by one Harry Potter. Not that Draco wears feathers. But if he did? They'd be the finest feathers known to man and he'd look positively smashing in them too, so there! DMHP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,858 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/4/2007 - Published: 2/3/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Anakin, I'm Only Dancing by roboclaw reviews
Submerge yourself in the beauty that is David Bowie, Mick Jagger, ObiWan and Anakin! Spellchecked and revised. ObiWan has shellshock from his Queyta Mission, and masochises all over Anakin, but it passes quickly and affects the story. Have faith, child.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,136 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K.
Tie My Heart Gently by jamie2109 reviews
Romance and love were nothing but fairy tales told to small children so that they grew up and had a reason to procreate. It didn’t really exist. A HarryDraco romance that shows that sometimes it is true love.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,636 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 16 - Published: 1/18/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Of This, I Am Sure by jamie2109 reviews
Set directly after HBP. Harry and Draco are forced to spend a few days together. As a result, everything changes.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,328 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 1/16/2007 - Published: 12/22/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
I Do Believe in Fairies by boyamiconfuzed reviews
If I write a decent summary then there will be no point in reading the story. It's funny, I promise, amusing at the very least. ONE SHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
still hope by Michi the Killer reviews
If anybody, Malfoy should have been the vampire, Harry always thought. There's always a chance to make things right. Just a short flashfic, nice in a very notnice way.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Early Morning Revelations by KamquatBanana reviews
Draco’s world comes to a screeching halt after a teensy tiny mistake winds up in one of the most wonderful nights of his life… One he finds he isn’t able to forget easily. DMHP SLASH you have been warned. AU and such.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 931 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/24/2006 - Draco M., Harry P.
Fond Wishes, Voldemort by KamquatBanana reviews
The Dark Lord vents his frustrations and sorrows into a letter addressed to a certain Headmaster. Parody, oneshot, AU and all that jazz.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2006 - Voldemort, Albus D. - Complete
But I Thought He Was by boyamiconfuzed reviews
In which Remus discovers that several of his friends were caught offguard by his engagement to Tonks. Slash is mentioned, then vehemently denied. Poor Remus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,280 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11/28/2005 - Published: 11/24/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
Checkmating by mahaliem reviews
In order to convince more people to join Dumbledore's side in the war, Ron decides that he and Harry should romantically pair off with Slytherins. Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,829 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 1,252 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 10/30/2004 - Published: 10/28/2004 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices by citygirl1116 reviews
Exchange Students, time turners, potions accidents, long-lost twins, mysterious new powers, snogging, more exchange students...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,349 - Reviews: 1430 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 9/25/2004 - Published: 3/24/2004 - Harry P.
When Fanfic Characters Attack by citygirl1116 reviews
They're OOC! They're badly written! They're having lots of sex! A baffled Harry Potter encounters a terrifying evil...the fanfic versions of his friends.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,543 - Reviews: 523 - Favs: 586 - Follows: 81 - Published: 7/8/2004 - Harry P.
A Slytherin in Gryffindor Clothing by mahaliem reviews
Complete! Draco hits his head and wakes up in a world where he's a Gryffindor and Harry is a Slytherin.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,944 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 1,894 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 4/28/2004 - Published: 4/11/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Lord Voldemort and the Internal Revenue Service by citygirl1116 reviews
In honor of April 15: Lord Voldemort encounters a force far darker and more evil than he could ever hope to be...income taxes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 30 - Published: 4/14/2004 - Voldemort
Looking Up To Ernie by jewelwhisperer reviews
It's dark and dangerous, and even the Hufflepuff's are disowning people...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,557 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2004 - Ernie M. - Complete
in the closet by Michi the Killer reviews
Ron needs to see a psychiatrist, Ginny's paranoid, Hermione's absent, and Harry's in denial...My very first H/G! Teehee! H/D fans should read, though...you'll be suprised...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,439 - Reviews: 444 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 49 - Published: 8/27/2003 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
When He Comes Around by jewelwhisperer reviews
Ever wonder why Draco Malfoy puts up with Pansy Parkinson?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,032 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2003 - Draco M., Pansy P. - Complete
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Fantastical Poems of Glory reviews
Goodbye plots, hello poems! A treatsie nibblet for all parody poetry fans out there. Now up- bestiality.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/24/2008 - Published: 3/17/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
He's such a DICK! reviews
But damn, is he fine... Nice, smutty crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 31,849 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 12/7/2007 - Published: 3/7/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Stubborn Mind, or, Maybe Ron Was Right reviews
Malfoy's a git. That's all there is to it. He can trick and tease and charm his way into the hearts of millions, but Harry knows the truth. Malfoy's a git.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,249 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/4/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete