Starbrat
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Joined 10-03-01, id: 117000
Author has written 1 story for Lord of the Rings.
Was I supposed to write something about myself? Let's see, I live in America, but I've traveled to Japan, Russia and Taiwan. I'm cynical, lacking in moral values and enjoy deviance and debauchery.

Not enough? Fine. My hobbies include reading, martial arts, hiking, and long walks on the beach after a battle when the sand is soaked with the blood of my enemies and the groans of the dying fill the air. I also enjoy baking cakes, pies, brownies, cookies and small children - surprisingly tender and low in calories. I will do a number of very indecent things for chocolate and I worship Monty Python and Blackadder. (If you don't know what either of those are, shame on you! Go out and rent them - now!)

You may flame all you want, as long as it's intelligent and really insulting. ie. "You suc" = BAD. U sed mai stry was bad, its not im a gud writar = BAD, and irrelevant, since I have an email up there for you to bitch at, if you must.

"You dirty little chit of a brazen whore, how dare you corrupt the minds of innocent children with that filth you call literature!" OR "If there is a God I hope he condemns you to the deepest pits of hell for your crimes against decency and humanity! I would pray for your soul but you are obviously past all hope, so I will simply pray for your destruction and spend all my spare time ensuring that my prayers are not unanswered." = GOOD and warms my evil little black heart. Extra points will be awarded for profanity - as long as it's really foul.

Quote of the day: "Drop your sword, shit your pants and die - in that order!" ~courtesy of the great Author Virvatuli, whose sick mind is an inspiration to us all.

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Chanson de Geste by LVDB reviews
Edmund's memoirs reveal a darker Narnia than the one Professor Lewis described...
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 68,131 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 12/27/2009
A Matter of Honor by Adridere reviews
COMPLETE - Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. Zutara/Taang
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 185,294 - Reviews: 1336 - Favs: 1,419 - Follows: 441 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Toph, Aang - Complete
moves in mysterious ways by Lisse reviews
Sometimes the prey evolves, or at least learns how to issue restraining orders. Metafic.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,329 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 603 - Follows: 49 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Bella - Complete
Tempest in a Teacup by AkaVertigo reviews
Fate puts Katara in the Fire Nation to grow up in the company of a Dragon, a prince, and a lot of good tea. AU Zutara...of a sort.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,018 - Reviews: 1097 - Favs: 2,892 - Follows: 731 - Updated: 10/30/2006 - Published: 3/17/2006 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Tales From the House of the Moon by Resmiranda reviews
Kagome, now in college, discovers the tale of Sesshomaru and Rin. Grief can be a prison, but the bonds of love are not easily broken. What is the truth behind fairytales? [SessKag] [COMPLETE]
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 326,106 - Reviews: 4787 - Favs: 5,712 - Follows: 959 - Updated: 2/18/2006 - Published: 12/12/2003 - Kagome H., Sesshomaru - Complete
Heirs Of Arda Completed by DarkRiver reviews
The Heirs of Rohan, Ithilien, and Gondor unite in this story. As children verging on men, Elfwine, Elboron, and Eldarion wrestle with responsibility, maturity, and bravery...and find themselves chasing a mystery that threatens the entire West.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 21 - Words: 134,182 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/13/2004 - Published: 2/12/2003 - Faramir, Eomer
Flawed and Fair by Tehta reviews
When Aredhel leaves Gondolin, Ecthelion is part of her escort. During the journey, he will have to deal with Sindar, orcs, giant spiders - and his unnatural feelings for Glorfindel. Slash, spiky humour. Complete.
Silmarillion - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 35,257 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/29/2004 - Published: 1/25/2004 - Complete
Captain My Captain by Isabeau of Greenlea reviews
Chapter 53. The Promise. The dinner with Faramir continues, and this story finally ends. Now Complete!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 307,329 - Reviews: 883 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/28/2003 - Published: 1/19/2002 - Faramir - Complete
Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire by bryn bnw reviews
Prior to their journey, the Fellowship remained in Rivendell for two months. Let them not be accused of "lounging around." Botched scouting missions, misunderstandings, and enemies home and abroad. Proof that when in doubt, things can ALWAYS get worse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 141,110 - Reviews: 918 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/3/2003 - Published: 4/16/2002
The Most Interesting Adventures of Maeluiwen by Jen Littlebottom reviews
Introducing The Most Interesting Adventures of Maeluiwen, Warrior Princess, a Story of Some Small Merit, But Which May be of Interest to Certain Persons. Concerning a Most Tragic Romance and also Some Boobies.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,959 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/8/2003 - Published: 4/1/2003
Something Has to Give by AKA Jay reviews
There are some things you can't walk away from. The Labyrinth is one, organized crime is another... also Jareth. And sentient predatory hand dryers too. Oh, and true love. But Sarah is going to give it her best shot.
Labyrinth - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,209 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 353 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 2/1/2003 - Published: 10/15/2002
Some Towers by ThePet reviews
Being the sequel to 'Lord of his own ring'. Subtitled 'the adventures of Boromir's younger smarter brother'. Chap 6: Frodo and Sam meet Faramir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,711 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/31/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002
Brothers In Arms by The Nightrunners reviews
(AU Modern-Day) Part 2 has started. Warning: Do *not* perform CPR on the elf unless you want to drastically screw up your life.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 56,289 - Reviews: 758 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/30/2002 - Published: 8/28/2002
End of Ages by Ripper reviews
Elvish orgies! Rogue hobbits! Bloody big swords! As the Fourth Age goes all to buggery, a desperate plea for help is sent. What they need is a strong, wise, noble leader of men who could fairly be described as charisma on legs. What they got was Randall.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,341 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/15/2002 - Published: 2/1/2002
Blood And Warm Blankets by Kielle reviews
Eomer and Faramir are trapped in a nefarious web of (*gasp*) slash cliches! Light metahumor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/14/2002 - Faramir
Gondor's Depraved by Meg Thornton reviews
This is a Rugby Song. You Have Been Warned. If you are easily offended by coarse language, look at something else.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/10/2002
Mary Mordor Sue by Meg Thornton reviews
A girl from Modern Earth travels to Middle Earth and winds up... well, you figure it out.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,613 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/7/2002 - Published: 9/5/2002
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3102 - Favs: 1,849 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Confessions of a Pervy HobbitFancier by GreyLadyBast reviews
Completed!! Totally AU Secret-Diaries style disaster. Twisted minds come up w/this when denied sufficient reviews. Be afraid. Be very afraid!!!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,420 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 3/16/2002 - Published: 3/13/2002 - Complete
Frodo Baggins: Lord of His Own Ring by ThePet reviews
*BOOK 1 NOW COMPLETE* Five shortarses, an effeminate elf, King Hobo, a scruffy wizard and a bloke with an enormous horn set out for Mordor...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,792 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 24 - Updated: 2/24/2002 - Published: 2/1/2002 - Complete
Sauron's revenge! (or not) reviews
Sauron: I told them I was taking over their world and they said: "Hey, as long as we can keep the internet, we'll drink to that." Sauron is mad about losing his ring, so he teams up with some morally challenged fanfic Authors to get revenge.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,437 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/14/2002 - Published: 4/10/2002