Mallory Van Helsing
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Joined 11-27-06, id: 1170241, Profile Updated: 01-21-09
Author has written 5 stories for Inkheart, Edge Chronicles, Inheritance Cycle, and Fairy Tales.

Hiya all,

My name's Mallory Van Hellsing or well my pen name is. My first name is Angelina. I live with my mom and dad somewhere in America, but where i'll never tell, i can say i visit the beach often to write. My two older brother's Joe and Kyle are in college now which makes me real sad because i miss them so much. they were always so much fun to hangout with, a little immature at times and sometimes vulgar but still the best. They look out for me and keep me safe. Other that my family, I have many friends who have got my back and i've got theirs.

Juliet - Is the best she the most awesome friend i could have. We always have things to talk about and are constantly bickering about something but it's never bad. She loves greek myths and unconsciancly quotes Hercules all the time. She's a little pessamistic but can always take critasisim, wither i feel like dishing it out or having it feed to me from her. She's the greatest! I mean how many people would dress up like random Harry Potter charries and go to a library event with you?

Erin- Is the most fun(she would yell at me for this) person I will ever know. She's crazy but I love her. We've been friend's since kindergarden and i had to walk her to the nurse. how in the world does a kindergardener staple her finger? Anyway...she's the best, we have so much fun on all our trips together.

Brittany- Is the best advise giver of all my friends, even compared to me. She helps me with so many things and all my problems, even when i tell her the same thing over and over again. Every problem i have she helps me thought them. And i worry a lot so i have numerous problems some days. She's the best student director our drama clubs ever had. I just love her so much for being there for me.

Gwen and Amy- These two are the crazest girls i know. There not really twins but i treat them as such so b/c they are so simillar. They both love drama club and acting, their singing voices are so good as are their personalities. Gwen so funny almost everything she says makes me laugh. Amy is just as fun but she sometimes needs some help and I'm always happy to help her. they are the gigglest people I know and can always brighten my day.

More on freinds and things later.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

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No one quite like you by Faithful Wheezy reviews
Neville and Luna meet at the Yule Ball, and they can't honestly say they've met anyone quite like each other. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,951 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 1/22/2006 - Luna L., Neville L. - Complete
Ways to Skin a Cat by EvenSong reviews
I was not a good daughter. At least, according to my father, I wasn’t. I wasn’t a good daughter simply because I wasn’t a son. It wasn’t my mother’s fault, of course, that I wasn’t a boy, it was my fault. I had been the one who refused to be a boy.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 92,845 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 2/26/2006
The Undendowed American by TancredTorssonLover reviews
what happens when an American, and an UNENDOWED one at that, comes to Bloor's? Quite different from many OC's you'll read! Slight AU warning
Charlie Bone - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,781 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 5/5/2007
It's Not That Easy by Bingo7 reviews
You wouldn't think a kitchen girl would be this deep in the complications of love. I mean hot sauce I'm a kitchen girl! And I almost wish I never met the prince. Almost. Things are crazy, including Charlie, May, Beric, Alyce and a little thing called love
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 121,125 - Reviews: 668 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 9/7/2006 - Complete
Golden Sands by FaylinnNorse reviews
In Arabia, a deadly plague sweeps the land. The Forty Thieves search for a cure as they are hunted by the Royal Guard. Xavia was just a princess from a far away land, visiting a family friend, but will the wildness of the golden sand overwhelm her?
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 154,593 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11/1/2008 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Complete
A Moth to the Flame by Donatarion De Loriat reviews
Red has continued with her life after the encounter with the Wolf, thinking him dead. However, when he reappears and kidnaps her, she finds that he may not be as coldhearted and mindless as she first thought him... based off of : Little Red Riding Hood
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 72 - Words: 230,434 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 11/14/2007
Fairy Tale Reality Check by trixyflixy reviews
A poem about a modern girl caught in a fairy tale world
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/5/2008 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Complete
Wake up Rose! by Bingo7 reviews
The prince has finally arrived at his goal he finds Briar Rose to be...well, let's just say not what he expected.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 888 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/27/2007 - Published: 8/11/2006 - Complete
The Truth Hurts by Dandelion Dreamer reviews
Anna is greatly annoyed at the four guys who make her life miserable on a daily basis: The Marauders. But, she soon finds that one Marauder has her head over heels in love. What will happen when she finds he feels the same way?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,088 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/26/2007 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Remus L., OC - Complete
Cruel Eyes by WildPixieChild reviews
A girl longing for freedom ends up in the most unlikely places, with love staring at her through cold black eyes. Loosely based on the myth of Persephone and Hades. R&R!
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,174 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/18/2007 - Published: 1/15/2006
Not All Surprises are Pleasant by InChrist-Billios reviews
COMPLETE: A princess is unwillingly engaged to a duke's son, but no one except the king knows why. A kidnapping, struggle of heart, and many other things combine to make this tale not quite of the normal variety, though it sounds a little cliché to start
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 40 - Words: 59,576 - Reviews: 582 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/15/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Complete
Irish Coffee by LunaEquus reviews
Oneshot in Ithal's POV. A different side of our two favorite gypsy boys. Implied IthalFelicity and KartikGemma.
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/1/2007 - Complete
A Prince a Horse and an Adventure by Bingo7 reviews
You always hear about these poor princesses having to marry this unknown prince. What about the poor princes that have to marry some unknown princess? Ok, so I did know Princess Anastasia, but that just makes it worse.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 86,083 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 12/16/2006 - Published: 3/13/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

End of an Enemy reviews
It's really a fairy tale but it doesn't fit anyway else.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,657 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Complete
The Frog Prince Mishap reviews
Oneshot: This is my version of the Frog Prince, reworded, twisted and mixed up and messy with some shocking turns.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,530 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/23/2007 - Complete
Passion in the Pages reviews
Fenogilo has change the book again! Only this time he's changed it majorly. Dustfinger now finds himself 21 again and looking for trouble. But first he needs to make sure it's for real, so he inlists the help of 18 year old Meggie. What adventures await t
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,388 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 5/29/2007 - Published: 12/7/2006 - Dustfinger, Meggie F.
Training a Lost Soul reviews
What happen to Murtagh when he was taken to Uru baen? Told throught the eyes of King Galbatorix's secert daughter, a halfelf Sorceress as she trains Murtagh in magic and maybe even something else? A tragic love story, full of action and emotion.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,357 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/9/2007 - Published: 1/7/2007
Night on the Mire reviews
This is a oneshot for all of those people who were upset about Twig and Maugin on the Mire. This is the story of what happen before that shootingstar.
Edge Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/8/2006 - Complete