Cap'n Scurvy Gums
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Joined 12-08-06, id: 1178444, Profile Updated: 08-23-09
Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter.

Hello! :)

-xox-

I read a lot of FF, mostly Harry Potter, and there's a lot of common mistakes out there, xD. Some are just too funny when I see them, LOL.

For example:

Blaise Zabini is a BLACK MALE not a white female. It drives me crazy when people assume he is white, let alone that he's a girl.

Severus Snape is not sexy, nor would he make a good pairing with Hermione. Or anyone. Can we say ew?

No matter how good of an idea it may seem at the time, DumbledoreXStudent is not okay. Ever.

Pansy Parkinson is not a pretty blonde. She is an ugly pug faced girl with black hair.

Neville Longbottom is not a secret sex god.

Blaise does not spell his last name Zambini, nor does he spell it Zambani.

James Potter was never secretly gay with Sirius.

Nor was Harry.

You can go overboard with the Sirius/Serious jokes.

Filch threatening to hang students by their toes in the dungeons is not kinky.

No where in any of the books does it say that Dumbledore is fond of Lemon Drops.

-xox-

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

To Be Insane, Or Not To Be Insane by Roslyn Drycof reviews
To avoid becoming a Death Eater, Draco copies Hamlet and pretends to be insane. Harry acquires a phobia of performing magic, and Lockhart, who likes to be called Rooney, has a friend who's a talking wall. These three share a therapist. HPDM, humor, slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,599 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 12/13/2005 - Draco M., Harry P.
Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf by Angry Lobster reviews
Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,787 - Reviews: 1072 - Favs: 606 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Edward, Jacob
March of the Witch Hunters by pratty-prongs-princesse reviews
Lily Evans' disappearance was all over the Daily Prophet three years ago; afterall, she was the fiancee of James Potter. How will James and the wizarding community react when they find out that she's not only alive...but a death eater?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,411 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 11/22/2010 - Published: 1/1/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Baby Mama Drama by Stars-and-Stones reviews
Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter? Eventual DracoXHarry, rated M for later chapters. Post-War Fic
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 73,325 - Reviews: 1265 - Favs: 2,489 - Follows: 823 - Updated: 11/5/2010 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Strange Disappearance of SallyAnne Perks by Paimpont reviews
Harry recalls that a pale little girl called Sally-Anne was sorted into Hufflepuff during his first year, but no one else remembers her. Was there really a Sally-Anne? Harry and Hermione set out to solve the chilling mystery of the lost Hogwarts student.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,835 - Reviews: 1407 - Favs: 2,991 - Follows: 1,004 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
If We Weren't Enemies by maja3322 reviews
After the war Draco is in a coma, and Hermione feels the need to tell him how she really feels. Therefore she starts sending him letters about how they could have been and about what she is doing. But will Draco ever wake up to read them?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 39,931 - Reviews: 335 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Revenge Is All The Sweeter by Twilight to Midnight reviews
A marriage law has come to pass; an unfaithful boyfriend has been caught and an enemy has been chosen. Draco and Hermione discover the fine line between love and hate. Won 2nd place at the Dramione awards for best Draco and best action/adventure!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 101,194 - Reviews: 4083 - Favs: 4,650 - Follows: 2,016 - Updated: 10/14/2009 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons by Padfoot the Marauder reviews
Draco and Hermione, like all newly appointed Head Boys and –Girls before them, are assigned to switch bodies for the first week of term to ensure a prosperous collaboration between them in the future. HGDM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,268 - Reviews: 1223 - Favs: 2,510 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 6/27/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
PostSecrets by Extended-Wings09 reviews
What would the characters of Harry Potter have sent to PostSecrets? Please R&R. Open to suggestions for more ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Complete
Random PickUp Lines by GryffindorGals reviews
A series of one-shots containing random pick-up lines Sirius will be experimenting with.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,012 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Sirius B.
Clueless by xx-Mione-Fan-xx reviews
It's amazing what can come out of a simple game of truth or dare. “She can face Death Eaters in the war bravely, but snogging Draco Malfoy terrifies her?” A D/Hr oneshot, post war, ignore HBP or DH. Read, Enjoy and Review! :
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,753 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 25 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Christmas Eve at Hogwarts by I'm Just Drawn That Way reviews
A wizarding version of Clement Moore's classic poem "The Night Before Christmas" in which Santa is not the only visitor to Hogwarts that night.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,139 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Search for the Holy iPod by mrs.ReverendTholomewPlague reviews
Hermione Granger, Synyster Gates, Michael Vick, Miley Cyrus, Lala the Teletubby and Barney the Dinosaur set out to find the Holy iPod, stolen by Lord Voldemort. Kinda stupid, really funny!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,059 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Complete
Sexually Frustrated by ScifiSOS reviews
What do you get when your bored? A boredom fic. Draco Malfoy is sexually frustrated. Everyone is taken except Harry Potter...so what does Draco do? He makes a plan on how to top Potter of course! Will his shag plan work? slashfic.lemon.boredom.HPDM onesho
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,095 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Shift by moonfyre reviews
7 year old Harry is discovered missing only a day before Sirius Black escapes Azkaban. An angry werewolf, among others, tries to find him before the criminal does. Little does anyone know, Harry has a secret of his own...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 55,208 - Reviews: 964 - Favs: 1,690 - Follows: 796 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 6/8/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Unwritten Words by ninajunkie reviews
Sequel to 'Dear Diary'. Draco and Hermione are no longer together. And even without her diary, Hermione seems to have her thoughts wander to a certain blonde man. Now that she has found someone else, will Draco ever win her heart back?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,080 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 2/18/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Jakosta by Aisling-Siobhan reviews
DM/HP;LP/HP After James died Lily had Harry to love The older Harry got the more he reminded her of James Harry knew what Lily does is wrong but he loved her & loving someone means having sex with them according to Lily. But he loved Draco without sex.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,468 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 37 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Dear Diary by ninajunkie reviews
Hermione has been selected to work on an important project for St. Mungo's set in America. The only problem is that she has to spend the holidays with no one except Draco. But will the sparks start flying?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 57 - Words: 61,283 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 11/8/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
An Unlikely Pair by AnneM.Oliver reviews
They were an unlikely pair. He knew it, so did she. Everyone did. It didn't matter,they were merely friends, hardly even that. There was certainly no affection, no romance. Just friendship. Neither wanted more. Honestly. Well, maybe. Nominated fiction.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 86,464 - Reviews: 1217 - Favs: 1,012 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 2/28/2008 - Published: 11/12/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Two Weeks in the Alley by BajaB reviews
13 years old, a vault full of gold, and two unsupervised weeks in Diagon Alley – What’s a boy to do? Summer before PoA AU, some adult themes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,075 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 2,157 - Follows: 452 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Laughter by Thy Rare Port reviews
All Draco wanted to do was make an announcement in the Great Hall. That was it. Why doesn't anything ever go how he planned? Info: oneshot, slash, HPDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,063 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Proud by Aisling-Siobhan reviews
DMHP When homosexuality was decriminalized in 1993 Vernon practically had a heart attack, but Harry was very happy about it. Even if Draco thinks he’s a bit of a twat for screaming ‘Im gay and proud’ at Platform 9 .
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,026 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 39 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
A Foreign Language by FarenMaddox reviews
Harry and Draco must go abroad to search out the sinister designs behind a new drug Muggle teenagers are becoming addicted to. Mysteries, Muggles, a government agent, and Crash's first girlfriend. Sequel to Brothers & Sons. Still not slash!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 29 - Words: 91,028 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/29/2007 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Blaise Meets The Weasleys by sarahyyy reviews
When Ginny brings Blaise home for a family dinner, Blaise gets trapped by her numerous brothers. A question and answer session ensues. Purely humour. R&R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,589 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Blaise Z., Ginny W. - Complete
The Thrill of the Chase, Etcetera by tout-a-coup reviews
Harry is going to seduce Ron. Even if it kills him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,638 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
The Squid Who Cared by LilPadfootChicky reviews
Harry is mourning over the loss of his father, Sirius, and Dumbledore. Ron is mourning over his cake. Hermione is mourning over the absence of her friends brains. Radomness! On sugar high.. read at own risk!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Complete
The Mind of a Really Lovesick Graduated Marauder by ProngsxLilyflower reviews
I'm sure I'm having my midlife crisis early. Twenty years early. Honestly, who goes from being a popular Quidditch player, to a Ministry worker marrying a woman who believes they should name their unborn son Wattie? [Hormonal Teenage Marauder Sequel R&R]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,103 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/19/2007 - Published: 6/29/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Firewhisky by Rosarita Sauvage reviews
Hermione and Draco duel in the hallway and get sentenced to detention. Boredom brings on the Firewhisky... Laughter insues. Oneshot. Rated T for language and drinking.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,015 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 19 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
A Cynical Mind by clap your hands say claire reviews
An exclusive insight into 15 year old Harry Potter's teenage head. Misunderstood, shoved aside and sick of not getting any credit for saving the day, Harry's life pretty much sucks. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,777 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Severus Snape and the Sexy Hallows by Emily92 reviews
A parody of the final Harry Potter book in which Professors Snape and McGonagall make out and Voldemort inadvertently kills himself. 'Random' hardly even starts to describe this..
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 713 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Complete
Replay by Semika reviews
Harry is living life the way Sirius would have. i.e, pranking, joking, breaking rules, and flirting. So what happens when he and three friends go back to the marauders era? A prank war of course. No HBP, OOC, slash, time travel, COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 52,554 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 449 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 8/30/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Bewitched by Longfletch reviews
What can drive Hermione Granger both insane and in love? A Love Spell induced Harry. Can she handle him for three months without falling for his charms? HPHG with a large dose of RWLL. Reloaded Chapter 7 to deal with some plot holes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 24,059 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 6/30/2007 - Published: 12/2/2006 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
The Mind of an Extremely Hormonal Teenage Marauder by ProngsxLilyflower reviews
Only I, James Potter, can get myself into humiliating situations like these. It's a curse, it's a horrible, ter... Does Lily look hot in that sweater or what? [LilyJames]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 56,880 - Reviews: 610 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 6/30/2007 - Published: 11/23/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
What If? by Punkindoodle reviews
Draco and Hermione play a dangerous game of 'what if'. WINNER AT THE FIREWHISKEY FUNNY PG13 STORY CHALLENGE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 57 - Published: 6/19/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Little Lady by VeniceGroove reviews
To attend the prestigious all boys Hogwarts school of magic,Lily Evans disguises herself as a boy.Things get interesting when the Marauders take her under their wing,however Potter realizes there is more to their new friend than meets the eye. LJ no slash
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 58,057 - Reviews: 976 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 8/25/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
You give me heart palpitations by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
In the words of Slughorn: You will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. James and Lily start their relationship in 7th year, but what happens when Lily starts receiving love letters from the Half Blood Prince? 'Obsessive Lily Disorder' sequel.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 164,625 - Reviews: 2192 - Favs: 835 - Follows: 652 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 11/5/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Fairytales by arctique48 reviews
Petunia. Her letter from Dumbledore. On that morning she’d known more of her sister than she’d ever wanted to. About heroism and death and what happens when you leave the place you were born to, when you fall for the wrong people, when you die for love.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,189 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/15/2007 - Lily Evans P., Petunia D. - Complete
Siriusly Bored by P.A.R reviews
Sirius is ask to babysit a very young Harry, with one major restriction.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,084 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Roomies by AngelicDevil1 reviews
PostHogwarts. Hermione gets demoted from her job at the ministry which means she has to move out and find somewhere cheaper to live, and Draco Malfoy happens to need a new roommate. DMHG.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 79,809 - Reviews: 2501 - Favs: 1,804 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 3/5/2007 - Published: 3/29/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Extremely Awesome Plot by Iggy smokes Pot reviews
A crack!fic featuring emo!Harry, veela!Draco and all your favourite living characters alright maybe some dead ones too.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,340 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/30/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
How I Lost My Pink Bunny Slippers by twin-v reviews
How I Lost My Pink Bunny Slippers, by Draco Malfoy. Or rather, How My Pink Bunny Slippers Got Stolen. Because they don't just lose themselves, you know.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,197 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/29/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
My Lord the Pharmacist by evilrabidplotbunnies reviews
My name is Peter Pettigrew, and I approve this message. I hereby proclaim myself a gangsta. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,024 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/22/2006 - Peter P., Lucius M.
Pursuing Lily Evans by ohsnap its potter reviews
The Marauders chose to video tape their days at Hogwarts, their pranks, and James' desperate attempts at winning Lily's heart. What happens when Harry stumbles upon these old videos? COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 34,891 - Reviews: 1133 - Favs: 1,196 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 8/21/2006 - Published: 12/31/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Reasons Why Harry Potter is EMO by WhyCantIBreathe reviews
8 pages of hilarious nonsense. How did I fit in evil stepsisters, mother goose rhymes, anorexia, and the Milkshake” song? I don’t know, it must be genius. The title speaks for itself. 1shot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/6/2006 - Complete
Extermination of the Dumbleduck by Keepers of the Horny Gay Men reviews
School had become boring. The classes, the studying, the constant neardeath experiences... Harry knew who was to blame for all this. And for once, it wasn’t Voldemort. It was Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,665 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 116 - Published: 7/18/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
All's Fair in Truth or Dare by Saja Natalia reviews
Hermione is in a ruthless game of Truth or Dare, but games are just for fun, right? She's about to discover that that is truly wrong.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,947 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/11/2006 - Published: 3/25/2006 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Love is blind by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
James Potter loses his glasses and seeks help from Head Girl, Lily Evans, to be his guide dog. No doubt, unintentional boob grabbing always occurs with temporary blindness. One shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,505 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 1,318 - Follows: 143 - Published: 3/20/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Insane World of HP by The Enchanted Cheesy Soybean reviews
Looking for a spectacular good read? here it is. Follow Harry in his altered 5th year as crazy stuff begins to happen when students shut their brains off. Harry thinks he's a puppet? Hermione eats books? Ron thinks he's a jedi? Intrigued? Than click.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,004 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/10/2005 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
Undead and Unashamed by opalish reviews
LilyJames. 'How about this: you go to the dance as my date, and I won't try to eat your brain.'
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 519 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 36 - Published: 8/28/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Boy's in Love by She's a Star reviews
Ron Weasley's on a mission, and nothing's stopping him from asking Hermione out. Well . . . if he can manage to escape death by pumpkin juice, anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,357 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/12/2004 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone by Sharap'n reviews
HPPS parody. Harry is speaking random countries at random intervals, Dudley is one of the village people, Petunia only knows six words, Snape is tripping out, and Neville is annoyingly repetetive... for the last time, we HAVE NOT SEEN YOUR TOAD!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,084 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/14/2004 - Published: 2/16/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Sex Trials by Devilzzz reviews
Who slept with who? Who's straight, and who's gay? And, what exactly, do Harry's boxers conceal within?Who's...pregnant?! Will Mione ever get the third book from Amazon.com? COMPLETED!!!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,623 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/15/2003 - Published: 12/27/2002 - Complete
Mr Grinch by Sierra Sitruc reviews
A Christmas Fic, set to finish sometime around Christmas. LJ with a small dose of LoveHate. Grinch-y-ness for good measure! James admits his hatred for Christmas and Lily's decided to MAKE him like Christmas. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 46,220 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/24/2002 - Published: 12/4/2002 - Lily Luna P., James P. - Complete
The Hero Gets The Girl by She's a Star reviews
‘You’re probably repulsed by now. Well, too bad. Deal with it. I didn’t ask to fall for you. You can't fight fate, you know.'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 730 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/24/2002 - Draco M., Ginny W.
A Midnight Sneak by Epsilon3 reviews
Poem. Harry, having been 'up to something' in his invisibility cloak, is on his way back to bed when he encounters Snape in a narrow hallway. Snape becomes aware of his presence.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 15 - Published: 6/10/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
Pique and Poetry by She's a Star reviews
Hermione writes Ron a poem confessing her feelings for him and, as a spur-of-the-moment action, gives it to him. However, things don't go as planned and fights emerge, in true R/H fashion.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,593 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 15 - Published: 3/22/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W.
The Guy with the Eye by Minerva McTabby reviews
Potterverse parody of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss. Set in GoF year - with Crouch-Moody as the Cat, Harry and Draco as the kids, Fawkes as the Fish, Mary Sue as Thing One and Thing Two.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/2/2002 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
While You Were Out by Ron reviews
He came home with roses, never expecting rain, never suspecting the truth. "There's something you need to know. I was going to tell you, but... James, there's another man in my life."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 38 - Published: 5/20/2001
Laughter by She's a Star reviews
A VERY short story from Peter Pettigrew's point of view. Please review-no flames :)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/18/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Detention reviews
She stood there like a deer in the headlights, staring blankly. It must take a while to get used to beauty when it unexpectedly jumps out at one. I wouldn’t know, having never jumped out at myself.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,260 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/9/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Muggle Magic reviews
Filch applies for a teaching job at Hogwarts. This is his interview. Oneshot, funny.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Complete
New Minister reviews
‘What’s the point?’ he said dully. ‘We’ve got about as much chance of winning the Quidditch Cup this year as Dad’s got of becoming Minister for Magic.’ Oneshot, Humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Complete
Waddiwasi reviews
The story of how Remus Lupin learned the spell called 'Waddiwasi' which shoots gum up unsuspecting persons' noses. Oneshot, humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 386 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/27/2007 - Complete
Theories reviews
Harry has a theory about death. Oneshot. Story is better than the summary. Rated T for character death. Funny.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/27/2007 - Complete
Road Trip reviews
Harry takes Hermione for a drive. Oneshot. Story is better than the summary.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,788 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Health Class reviews
What happens when the Marauders are forced to go into Health Class? Will a class project assigned by Madame Pomfrey ruin them? LJ later.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,917 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/16/2007 - Published: 5/1/2007
The Bird Suit reviews
Ron has a brilliant idea to bring down Voldemort. Really funny! No pairing. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 256 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/4/2007 - Complete
Evil Scheme Planning reviews
Voldemort comes up with the 'perfect' plan to kill Harry Potter. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 197 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Complete
The Most Random Story To Ever Grace FanFiction 2! reviews
Another random Onshot! I guess you could call this a sequal to The Most Random Story To Ever Grace Fanfiction.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Complete
The Most Random Story To Ever Grace FanFiction reviews
A very random Oneshot involving a naked Dumbledore, a gay Ron, and of course, Voldie! This is not to be taken seriously. No Flames please. R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/6/2007 - Complete