OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
If you love God with your whole heart and are proud of it, copy this into your profile
If you've ever wonder what you're like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile
If you had ever forgotten what you're talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you wish it was summer vacation RIGHT NOW, copy this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If Fanfiction is to you what Facebook/Twitter is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile
If, for no reason, you start laughing at a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this into your profile to make it longer
If you should be doing your homework now, copy and paste this into your profile
For some reason, 68 percent of the Phangirl population thinks that Christine should have gone with Erik. If you're part of the intelligent 32 percent who thinks she should have just fallen into a hole and died, sparing Erik the painful torture of living with her, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: MyMindIsMyDarkSanctuary, Phantomofthebasket, BlackTippedRose, PhantomPenguin, dark-hearted rose, LisalikesPhantom, WanderingTeen, Fuzzy-Pamplemousse, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile
If you are a huge Phantom of the Opera phangirl and are proud of it, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Phantom of Dragons, Fuzzy-Pamplemousse, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
If you've ever wondered what you would be like as a cartoon, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think there should be a prequel to Tales of Symphonia where Kratos is the main character, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: SheenaFujiFilm, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.
If you have ever pushed a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy and paste this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Larxene II, Dragons Ark, freakyanimegal456, SheenaFujiFilm, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think your school is a hilarious place to be, paste this to your profile
If your cell phone went off while you were in class, paste this to your profile
If you have been called an emo even though you're not, paste this to your profile
If your best friend has a super cool brother, paste this to your profile
If you think tourists are annoying, paste this to your profile