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Joined 01-04-07, id: 1188818, Profile Updated: 03-04-12
Author has written 21 stories for Inkheart, Hidalgo, Misc. Movies, and Harry Potter.

Captain Major

“What were you trying to do, put the whole ship to sleep?” -Captain Englehorn, Kingkong (2005)

My name is Captain Major,

I am a military enthusiast and I love to travel.

A little bit about me:

I absolutely love aviation! I've flown airplanes before, and I simply adore helicopters. I love being outside, and going on adventures. I am a certified sailor, and a weathered equestrian. I've done lots of traveling, and globe trotting is probably one of my favorite things.

5 Countries I recommend visiting:

1.) Canada: This is my country, baby! This is where it snows 8 months out of the year and where you're lucky if the temperature breaks 20 Celsius in the summer.

2.) Cuba: Ye ye, I know you Americans hate the Cubans, but frankly, they're really nice and hardworking people. If you can't get over the whole commie thing (It blew my mind too), just enjoy the beaches. The Beaches are GORGEOUS.

3.) Italy: This place is so gorgeous, hot, and delicious! The culture is fantastic! Everything is designer, too! The Tuscan countryside is just phenomenal. (The food ain't bad either!)

4.) Spain: I love this place! It's so hot! And if you bat your eyelashes at cranky guys selling tee shirts, they'll probably give you a discount (well, they did for me anyways...). I wasn't too crazy about the food, but the amazing temperature is worth it.

5.) Mexico: It's hot. If you don't mind the touristy over-load, go for it! if you like to party, I hear Tijuana is the place for that!

5 Movies I recommend seeing (AKA 5 of my favorites):

1.) Reservoir Dogs: My favorite movie. Tim Roth delivers such a punch with his heart wrenching performance (and hey, he's just plain HOT). The dialogue in this film is to die for, and the story is very engrossing.

2.) King Kong (2005): Also my favorite movie. It's so epic, and done my a master director. It's a real adventure with a bunch of sub stories and a timeless plot. ACE! (Not to mention my favorite actor had a part in this film aswell...)

3.) Inglourious Basterds: My 3d favorite movie! Again, Quentin Tarantino's directing is sublime, and the dialogue is intense! The use of multiple languages makes it that much richer! The WW2 thing just totally bought me. Five Stars!

4.) Ferris Bueller's Day Off: This one is always funny! "Twist and shout!" If you haven't seen this movie yet, go to the local BlockBuster and Rent it! It's amazing. SAVE FERRIS!

5.) The Never Ending Story: I saw this when I was 6 or 7, and the antagonist has been haunting my nightmares since then (yea, to this day i wake up screaming). It's a children's movie, but the story is chilling and amazing. I just love it! Must have seen it 20 times.

5 Books I recommend reading (AKA 5 of my favorites):

1.) Jurassic Park: No lies, I've read this at least 5 times. I just LOVE IT! Michael Crichton makes this dino story so realistic with complicated biological garble and graphs displaying UNIX computer systems. If you liked the movie and enjoy bio class, read the book.

2.) The Way The Crow Flies: I read this one a couple years ago, and it really touched me. If you can tolerate some air force talk and a disturbing plot, this may be a book for you. The father daughter relationship really spoke to me. A looong read, but so worth it.

3.) Inkheart/Inkspell: Love these books. Probably for the characters more than the somewhat cheesy plot. It's a children's book, but it has pretty mature character buisness, if you read between the lines. Plus, Basta is totally my fictional boyfriend.

4.) Prey: Another sci-fi novel by Michael Crichton. This was engrossing and chilling. It had me guessing the whole time. A real page turner! I'd recommend it to the geek that likes creepy science fictions!

5.) The Web: This is an Alex Delaware Novel written by Johnathan Kellerman. I haven't quite finished it yet (I have like, 20 pages to go) but it's totally awesome and creepy so far! It's a murder mystery and a real treat! Easy to get into.

5 things I love:

1.) WWII: The history is just so amazing! The appeal is so great to me... I watch every WWII movie i can get, I read the books, and I just can't get enough!

2.) Languages: I speak fluent french, and I know some Spanish and German. I know a line + a few words in Russian, and a couple words in Italian. All in all, Languages as AWESOME and I recommend you learn as many as you can!

3.) Horseback Riding: I love my horse, he's such an angel. There's no better feeling than connecting with that animal as you gallop across a field, jump over a 4 foot fence, or swim together in a lake. It's an amazing connection!

4.) Flying: Airplanes and Helicopters are amazing! I've flown in many helicopters and airplanes, and I just love the feeling! The appeal behind those aircrafts is unexplainable. Love!

5.) Partying. I think my neighbors want to kill me after that epic dance party I had in my living room September long weekend. Europeans know how to party, let me tell you that!

5 things I hate:

1.) Miley Cyrus: Yeuch. She disgusts me. She thinks she's so badass and all, but really she's just an ugly slut doomed to end up like Lindsay Lohan or whatever.

2.) Those creepy rapist type guys that won't stop touching me at the club: BLECH!!! You know the type. The ones that pretend to "trip" into you, accidentally grabbing your boob as they spill vodka on your blouse while saying "Sorry- well helloooo there!"

3.) Math: I HATE MATH. It makes me want to swallow an entire bottle of T3's and never wake up again. Math is a cruel, cruel creature that's sole purpose on this planet is to make me feel suicidal and stupid. Math is a bitch. It's the only thing separating me from a career as a pilot.

4.) Sluts: If you're a slut, would you please kick yourself in the face. Buy a turtle neck and save some men for the rest of us, eh? Thank you!

5.) Little kids that think they're adults: I'm sorry, but 11 year olds shouldn't wear pushup bras and have more sexual experiance than my aunt. And 16 year olds shouldn't act like jailbait. Wait your turn, children. Your time will come. Now enjoy crayons and cupcakes while you still can!

5 movies you should never waste your time watching:

1.) Caveman: Kay, they don't even speak English in this shitty movie. It's pure AWFUL.

2.) Inkeart: Great Book. Terrible movie. Their choice of actor for Basta was just plain depressing. I attempted suicide after I saw Jamie Foreman's ugly mug appear on screen. You? Basta? I don't think so! slit slit slit.

3.) Overboard: Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn or something. I don't even know. The movie was so bad... I couldn't even finish it.

4.) Paul's case: Uhhg. I don't even know what version my highschool ELA teacher forced us to watch, but it was B-A-D BAD! I could have filmed a better movie with my grandpa's cellphone camera, a costume box from the 80's, and a chihauha as my leading lady.

5.) Wolfman: Benicio Del Toro is NOT (i repeat: NOT) a babe. he's not even remotely attractive. Watching him fumble about on screen for 2 hours turning into a gorilla like "werewolf" was just awful. I think i was drooling (from brain damage) by the end of the film. Waste of time!

Inkheart fans (Or Inkhearties as I would say): I have a confession to make: I HAVE NEVER READ INKDEATH, NOR DO I INTEND TO.

There. It's out. I've been an Inkheart fan 4 years, and I still haven't read the last book in the trilogy. You know why? You can't have Inkheart without Basta. Sorry. It's just not worth my while if my peppermint chewing, knife wielding babe isn't there.

Thank you for visiting my profile, and thank you for reading my stories! :)

Please review, but no flames, thank you very much! :D

~Hielo, Limon, Coca-Cola, Bacardi!~

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Matters of the Heart by K M Marie reviews
IN-PROGRESS - In Hermione's seventh year, she is required to participate in an apprenticeship in a subject of her choosing. The results of her decision are nothing like she would have imagined.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 141,581 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 2/17/2013 - Published: 6/2/2011 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Devon by HAYDENpfan reviews
Devon, Meggie's older sister; annoying, and talks WAY too much - need I say more? Old chapters are going to be redone and reuploaded. Later DustfingerxOC. Read and review! I enjoy input!
Inkheart - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 13,644 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 3/20/2008
Dancing with Fire by Akikofuma reviews
MeggiexDustfinger . I suck ass at summaries, so you are just going to have to read it. It's a story I came up with one night.
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,056 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Meggie F., Dustfinger
In which Dustfinger and Mortola get it on by Till-Owlyglass reviews
Well here it is! I only threatened to write this but my dear friends CRAZYPINKGIRL convinced me to do so. Well what was I supposed to do when they told me they'd be tortured if I didn't! It's just a joke by the way, even if it does give you nightmares!
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Dustfinger, Mortola - Complete
Silver Prison by Shaman of Sarcasm reviews
When you grow up in the Adderhead's silver mine, you grow up fast, or not at all.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,512 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 2/4/2009
Babies by Radioactive Rubber Duck reviews
Darius accidentally reads all the inkheart characters including Meggie, Mo, and Resa into Elinors house, and to make it even more chaotic they have all been turned into children. Rated T as there will probably be some swearing.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,918 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/1/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009
So We're Driving Around by Stray the Metallic Imp reviews
When Joe Cabot still isn’t too sure about the newest guy on the job, he sends Orange on a little side job with Mr. Blonde to see where the kid’s head is at. Freddy then finds that he’s getting more than he bargained for. Warnings for: Slash, crime and etc
Reservoir Dogs - Rated: M - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,154 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Complete
Les malheurs de Sophie by ChtiteSan reviews
Tout commence lors d'une journée banale de travail pour Sophie...
Howl's Moving Castle - Rated: T - French - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,255 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 9/18/2006 - Howl, Sophie H.
skool days by dame crystal reviews
this is what meggies first week in high school was like R&R
Inkheart - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/27/2008
Maturity Is Relative by Sunday Smile reviews
Two years on. Juno is on the cusp of eighteen, facing graduation and adulthood. As the teenage façade slips away, Juno and Bleeker confront the nine months that changed their lives and brace themselves for that funny thing called 'the future.'
Juno - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,659 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 1/22/2008
The Kill by Hades'Queen reviews
Meggie is on the brink of losing her sanity. She has given up so much, fought for so long and she isn't sure she can anymore. Meggie/Dustfinger one-shot. Rated M for some Adult Content.
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,277 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Dustfinger, Meggie F. - Complete
Gwin's Mildly Entertaining Version of Events by Duckweed reviews
Ever wondered what our favorite little marten thinks of life, the universe, and the PLOT? Then this is the story for you...
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,334 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 8/4/2008 - Published: 11/6/2005
When only words suffice by Sayie reviews
Resa is bitten by a snake when she tries to run away from Capricorn's village. When Dustfinger saves her they need to find a way to communicate. This is the story of how Resa taught Dustfinger how to read. Slight Dustfinger/Resa. Might have a sequel.
Inkheart - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,718 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Complete
Inkheart: The Facts by Shekiah Rosay reviews
Facts and outlandish observations based on Inkheart. Roxane was cruelly denied a cool nickname like everybody else? Basta is a misunderstood emo kid? Just read.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,005 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/21/2008 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Complete
Happy Tomorrow by The-Kitty-Cat-Gang reviews
Meggie was lonely, so lonely in fact that she wrote two small paragraphs and read them! Now she's trying to keep one out of fights and one out of getting lost. Can Meggie survive Ombra with a misfit fire eater and a hippie tightrope walker?
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/29/2007
Son of a Preacher Man by Brunette Inc reviews
[one shot] I kept telling her to chill out, be cool like he says, but I don't hear myself sayin' it. All I know in me head is my old man, standing at the front 'a his little church, glaring down at me as I swat all the flies buzzing in the heat.
Pulp Fiction - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Complete
The Legend of Zelda : le destin d'Inirée by Anyme reviews
Dans une région du monde qui ne s'appelle pas encore Hyrule,trente ans avant les évènements d'Ocarina of Time, une fée nommée Inirée,qui désespère de jamais avoir 1 Kokiri,voit un jour son existence boulversée par une étrange rencontre...[REVIEW
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - French - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,688 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/13/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Duet reviews
Marie and Sophie are in for an intriguing year at Hogwarts. Between student affairs, the introduction of vodka, "pressing" relationships with professors, and decisions to be made about Wizarding futures, year 7 will be nothing short of... interesting...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,648 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/3/2011 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Remus L., Severus S.
The Game reviews
It's 1943 in Nazi Occupied France, and a German soldier reads aloud from the book Titen Herz. Basta appears in war time Europe, accused of being a British spy. Under Nazi capture he falls into a heated game of cat and mouse, alongside a traitorous miss...
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 80,950 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 9/11/2010 - Basta
Passchendaele: My Adventure in Paul Gross' Movie reviews
My adventure in Paul Gross' screenplay. I go back in time in a magical vending machine to kick Sarah Mann's butt. No one steals morphine from Canadian soldiers and gets off Scott Free! Foul language: don't say I didn't warn you! Feel free to review...
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,732 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/13/2011
Lipstick reviews
five of Capricorns maids strive to find romance in his village of idiots. M for later chapters. Please R&R. I promise the story is more interesting than the summary.
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,941 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Resa, Dustfinger
Pins and Needles reviews
What happens if the Inkheart incident took place when Meggie was in her later teens? What if she chooses to fight back after memories of Basta haunt her sleep? R and R please, rated M for a reason... ENJOY!
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 16,389 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 9/7/2008
One Thousand Tales from the Stables of Ombra reviews
As a stable girl, i see a lot you know. And one night I witness something that never should have happened... Review please! You know you want to.... :D Full summary inside!
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,806 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008
The Idiot Box reviews
She brought a box. Inside that box were all the problems. And they were the solution. But the box was the true issue. I have no idea where im going with this. Dont expect tones of updates, but REVIEW. I want to know what you think! Thanks. M for reason...
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,133 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Basta
Little Wonders reviews
Basta is dying. Goes with the song "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. Enjoy! Feel free to review, but please do not flame. This is a one shot. Tell me how you liked it! :D
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 738 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Complete
Cantego reviews
Meggie dreams she's in the year 1901 and meets Basta and Capricorn in the production of a play called Cantego. What will happen when Dustfinger steals Basta's role? How will Meggie like playing the lead lady? Come join us in the world of Cantego and see..
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/24/2008
InkJay reviews
What does love mean to you, Basta? Love? gee, i don't know. I've never loved before. Fancied yes, but never loved... thanks for the reviews! keep em' coming! :D CHAPPIE 10 UP!
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,322 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/8/2008 - Published: 12/1/2007
Party Time! reviews
After some extensive counseling, Elinor decides to let go of her past and throw a BBQ for the Inkheart characters. Innocent? I think not.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,380 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/11/2008
My name is Basta reviews
Life from Basta's point of view in a journal format! Basta has many secrets you know! Reviews are welcome but NO flames. Hope you enjoy! chapter 8 is up. thnx to those who reviewed! :D
Inkheart - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,554 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/15/2008 - Published: 4/22/2008
The dying cry of a dead man reviews
Basta's thoughts as he commits suicide. no flames. Just a drabble. This is how i feel right now.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Complete
The top 20 ways to annoy Farid reviews
Title is self explanatory. Hope you enjoy! Please R&R but no flames! Thank you to all that review! :D
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 239 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
The top 20 ways to annoy Meggie reviews
Here it is, a new Top 20 ways to annoy list! Hope you enjoy this one! Please R R, but no flames :D peace!
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Complete
Forbidden Romance reviews
16 year old Anneke has much in store when she meets up with Frank Hopkins... rating may go up, story is better then summary, i promise! No flames, please, but please review! rating may go up in later chapters...
Hidalgo - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,027 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/30/2008 - Published: 2/6/2008
Bascula reviews
After a Halloween party, Basta falls asleep with plastic vampire teeth in his mouth...what happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night convinced he's a vampire?
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,548 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete
The top 20 ways to annoy Dustfinger reviews
Title is self explanatory. Reviews are welcome, flames are FROWNED UPON! If you have published a similar story, and some of my methods are similar to yours, then i apologize, it was not intentional. Peace, Isabeau
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 390 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Complete
The top 20 ways to annoy Basta reviews
Title is self explanatory. If you have ever published a "how to annoy Basta guide" and any of my methods are similar to yours, I apologize, it was not intentional. Enjoy! Please, no flames, but reviews are welcome! :D
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Complete
Bad Breath reviews
Many years ago Basta was rejected for having bad breath. Want to know all the details? Oneshot, not very exciting...just wanted to give Basta a hard time about his past. lol. No flames please! Basta OC
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Complete
How cotton candy changed his life reviews
A silly one shot explaining how Cotton Candy changed Basta's life... silly, stupid, perhaps funny. review please , but no flames. thanks :
Inkheart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Complete