LightningHunter: Being a dick on this site since 2007 (or late 2006, if you count lurking time).

Update News:

Hey. Just wanted to tell you I'm nearly done with my exams, so you guys can expect to see updates again, and maybe a new fic or two, not all of them humour/parodies (shocking, I know).

Oh, and by the way, I'm nowadays frequently found on Hawk's The Fanfiction Forum, found here: http:///The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?act=idx (You'll have to register to see anything).

Pending rewrites- Elementary is gonna get its full rewrite after I finish it. Same for RoD, which is nearly finished itself. NM is written mostly alright, and IJ will see a rewrite after the current plotline finishes.

The Epic History of LightningHunter

Let's see. I first discovered fanfiction in late 2006. The first fic I ever read was a high school fic, which sadly, I have never found again, although I spent many hours searching for it just so I could flame it to shit.

My first fic was the incredibly terrible piece of shit known as Naruto the Grey. A horribly cliched piece of crap, it was a crossover between Naruto and LotR, with Gandalf raising Naruto as a kid. Despite the fact it was horrible, it was very well received, because this was when pieces of shit like this were just becoming popular. I followed this up with another piece of shit called Lord of Swords, another fucking crossover, this time with Final Fantasy X, except Auron didn't raise Naruto, he just sort of hung around as a guardian from afar. Once again, it was popular, despite being so goddamned bad.

I was practically churning out new fics at this point, to the extreme that I uploaded about four or five new stories in one day once. The New Yellow Flash, Selling Your Soul, Reaper of Death, Naruto Takes A Genin Squad, Toad Hermit all came out around this period, and only the last one is something I'm actually proud of. I'm the guy who first came up with the idea of Naruto following in Jiraiya's footsteps and becoming the next toad hermit, and I put this in a fanfic even before Kishimoto ever even hinted towards it. And don't give me that bullshit he planned it all along, it's fairly obvious he makes this shit up as he goes along.

It was around the end of 2007 when I started growing very cynical. I dipped into Drakengard, writing the very bleak fic Create a Paradise, or a Hell. I started LH's Parody, and although it later became more about jokes than just senseless murder, most of the comedy in the first two chapters is just the latter. Although it did create a negative image for me, as people started thinking I actually do fantasise about killing fanfic authors and attempt to plot out such attacks. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I don't actually believe in murdering people for a reason as silly as putting stupid stuff on the internet, because that's just about everyone.

And anyway, late 2007, I was reading my collection of Sherlock Holmes stories, and then it finally hit me. A Naruto based on Sherlock Holmes. Not a particularly powerful Naruto, but one who uses his wits to stay multiple steps ahead of his opponents. That was it, and slowly I began to write out the first chapter. Just to see if I wasn't making a big mistake, I actually made a preview chapter and uploaded it, something that actually helped, as it forced me to think about the future of the fic. Naruto would have to leave Konoha, not of his own choice, but he'd be forced to become a missing-nin. Tsunade would hate him. He forms a group of OCs, and this fic even made people rethink about hating OCs just because they're OCs. Sure, there were still stupid readers whose immediate reaction was "GRR OCS I DO NOT LIKE OCS WHY DONT YOU JUST STICK WITH KISHIMOTO'S CRAPPY ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS WHO BARELY GET ANY SCREENTIME AND ARE LIKE OCS ANYWAY?!?!!" but still, it worked well enough.

And so Elementary was born. My favourite fic I've ever written, and one I fully intend to see through to the end. It's the only fic I've ever written to reach 100 000 words, and I'm proud of it. If we think about fanfics as children, Elementary's my favourite that causes me to horribly neglect all the others, but I still don't care. My little dear Elementary's not like those retarded bastard stepchildren I've already disowned/ deleted from the site. Admittedly, the earlier chapters do have cliche moments and desperately need a rewrite, but otherwise, it still stands up quite well.

2008 was a pretty big year for me. It started with Two Sons Who Are Older Than You WTF! (a stupid name, I know) but amusingly, that's my most popular fic if you go by reviews per chapter. It kept comedy well catered for, especially with LH's Parody of Abused Naruto Fics, which was even funnier than LH's Parody. I started my first Harry Potter fic, Dirge of Cerberus, a fusion between HP and FFVII: DoC, and that was pretty popular as well. But more importantly, came two even more bigger fics.

I discovered that Quatreastrophe, author of the popular fic Invisibly Jaded had quit. Immediately I jumped upon the chance, and sent a message asking if I could take over, and Quatreastrophe agreed, and with a little help from DocX, I had everything I needed. There has been some trouble, I admit, as firstly, one major thing people hated about the original fic was Harry going back to his family after they neglected him as a kid, and secondly, in my first - and currently, only- rewrite, I screwed it up by making way too many stupid jokes. Still, it's going to finally break free in the next few chapters, so don't worry yourselves, things are finally gonna start fucking happening.

Newfound Memories was completely inspired by jbern's The Lie I've Lived. The guy's one of the best HP fanfic authors in the business, and also has the qualifications of being an actual published author in real life. The Lie I've Lived is all about Harry getting his father's memories, and Newfound Memories just takes that and goes yoink! Naruto's getting his father's memories. I've got no idea if jbern is actually aware of NM, but seriously, props to you, you're great.

Finally in 2008, I wrote Screaming For Vengeance. It bares the distinction of being the first story fic I've actually completed. And to complete that this year would have some more dark works, along came Zero.

2009 however was different. I disappeared for most of the beginning of the year, and there were barely any updates. Eventually I returned, but the only new fics I created was a Death Note parody and the considerably better Struggler.

And then came 2010. I absolutely made sure this would be a big year for parodies, starting with the final chapter of LH's Parody and then The Mystery of the Heart Attack. I disappeared for a bit again in the middle, due to exams, but not before I responded to KyuubiWindscar's challenge and started The Hunger of the Beast, my first attempt to step into the horror genre. Continuing parodies, there came The Shortest Banishment Fic Ever, LH's Parody of Self Insert Fics, and finally, How To Succeed As A Naruto Fanfiction Writer.

And what will happen in 2011? Let's see, boys and girls. Let's see.

-LightningHunter

The Many Tips and Tricks, as told by a somewhat average yet mildly interesting author (occasionally gets updated)

Tip Number One: Grammar. Spelling. Correct use of upper case and lower case. Paragraphs. Do you think people like seeing massive lumps of words crammed together? Do you think people like seeing incorrectly spelled words? Do you think people like reading words written like "i'M fUcKiNg StuPid, pLZ ReViW I hVE iSuses" and with no paragraphs?

Tip Number Two: No author notes in the middle of a fic, leave them for the beginning and end. That really breaks up the flow. It's okay if used in a comedy fic, but otherwise, no. And then, they shouldn't be in author note form, but as proper writing.

Tip Number Three: Bad spelling and grammar ruins a good story, but good spelling and grammar won't save a bad one. Ensure your idea is interesting and original.

Tip Number Four: Enjoy yourself. If you don't enjoy writing the fic, you'll think of it as a chore, and lack in updates. Yeah, that happens to me sometimes.

Tip Number Five: I know it's annoying when no one reviews, but urging people to review often comes across as pathetic. So try replying to reviews when you get a few, or put things in the authors notes to encourage people talking about the fic. And for that matter, bonus tip- don't write any of that "bad summary, read for yourself." I can't fucking stand that.

Tip Number Six: Try not to appeal to mindless masses. If you get some idiot screaming at you to make a certain pairing (seriously, when someone fills an entire paragraph just by repeating the pairing, ignore the wanker), or change your storyline for their sake, tell them to fuck off. But if they're not an idiot, and they're raising a valid point, think about it. And if you find yourself writing out of instinct, when the characters are directing you, and showing you how they'd act and react, that's good, and it's often a sign that you have a good fic going there.

Tip Number Seven: If you can't fucking write romance, don't do it. Seriously. I don't care how much you like a pairing or if you want to sucker in readers for it (which are the two common reasons), don't write romance unless you actually can. That's why I don't do it.

Tip Number Eight: Your writing style- it must be unique, for a start. I'm not looking to see impressions of authors, a writer's writing style must be as unique as a fingerprint. The only thing they should share is to be well written. That does mean use at least some detail.

Tip Number Nine: Adverbs. For the love of God, cut down on words which end in "-ly". It's fine to have a few, but don't try and lengthen out sentences and give a false impression of detail by using them.

Tip Number Ten: Show the reader, don't tell them. When writing, don't just make your words come out bland, especially if you're in an action scene. Action scenes are fast-paced and over quickly (and for that reason don't really work when writing fanfics about anime/manga which dedicate too much time to people standing around on the battlefield yelling). Don't detail every last step of the fight, that's just lame. When you talk about people's emotions, show that emotion, instead of just saying it. If they're angry, talk about gritted teeth and hands forming fists. If they're sad, talk about tears welling up in the eyes. Obviously, use some variation, and sometimes, even saying the emotion can work well.

Tip Number Eleven: Don't keep trying to replace the word "said". Said is a wonderful, wonderful word. People will ignore it and go straight to the dialogue. Other words distract from the dialogue. You can usually keep it just fine with mostly saids, a few replied or asked, and the occasional...I dunno, shouted/screamed/whatever.

Tip Number Twelve: Overuse of ellipses (...) and screen-cuts. This is mainly a problem because newbie writers see loads of other people do it and do it themselves. Even I've violated this rule horrifically in the past. Never just type in timeskip or flashback or later or at so-and-so's house or whatever, that's just shoddy writing. It's like putting author notes in the middle of a fic (which is also terrible, if I haven't mentioned it already). And too many ellipses just look ridiculous.

Tip Number Thirteen: If you want to easily spot faults in your writing, read it aloud. Obviously quietly, or even aloud in your head, especially if you've got kids in the house and you've just written your hardcore lemon fic, but just hear the words. You'll spot them. In fact, if you have written a lemon, you definitely want to read that aloud. No matter how sensual your "he went into her, then out of her, then into her again" seemed when you typed it, you'll notice it's not quite the same when heard. And you'll also notice that dialogue actually sounds better when there isn't a said or replied or asked or anything like that, so maybe sometimes saying who said what everytime when it's just the same two people talking isn't that necessary.

What's important when writing is to know your tools. But even more importantly, know when to use them. With great power comes great responsibility and all that.

Tip Number Fourteen: Admit it when you're writing it something badly. Sometimes maybe other people will say it's still good, but if you can't look at something you wrote maybe a year ago without cringing- good. The greatest ability of the fanfiction writer is to realise when they're writing shit. And it's all shit. Every fucking fanfic writer writes shit to some degree. What matters is your ability to improve. What matters is your ability to move on from that. As fanfic writers go, I'm probably mediocre at best. And you know what? I was a hell of a lot worse when I first showed up. I have improved. I'm not brilliant or great, but I have my moments. That's something I know, no matter how positive the feedback can be. It's nothing special to be better than most the fanfic writers here. Provided you can spell you've already got an edge. So stop acting like you're fucking Shakespeare and strive to improve.

Profile Last Updated: Tuesday 10th May 2011