Cocokabana
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Joined 01-12-07, id: 1196435, Profile Updated: 12-15-07

I am a long-lost twin of Rufus T. Firefly. Yes, we have secret powers that we can unleash on you...so beware!

I WOULD write about my favourite things, but then it would just be a shine for Founding Hogwarts and Loosing Hogwarts by aformentioned author.

Some of my favourite quotes from Founding Hogwarts:

‘And yet you remain, to plague me for my life eternal. Why is that?’

‘I put it down to unresolved sexual tension.’

This, much to her dismay, was not a rare occurrence. However, there was only a very select amount of people in the world who could honestly claim to have woken up and stepped into a bowl of someone else’s cold porridge, and Rowena was now, grudgingly, a member of this elite force.

‘This isn’t an orgy, you know!’ Elvina snapped after her.

Right on cue, as he looked up, she hit herself in the face with the thick astronomy book she’d been using to fan her face with.

‘But you’re rich!’ she insisted, ignoring the latter part of his statement. ‘Stinking, filthy rich!’

‘My family is “stinking, filthy”rich,’ he corrected her, ‘I just happen to be moderately well-off.’

Birds sang. Branches moved in the gentle, warm breeze. The sun winked in the clear, blue sky. Helga Hufflepuff looked ready to foam at the mouth.

‘He wouldn’t hurt bunnies or village folk.’

‘Exactly.’

‘…He’d turn the village folk against each other until he achieved civil war, then provoke the bunnies into a bloody uprising against the surviving villagers and force them to crown him as their leader!’

Rowena nodded grudgingly. ‘Ok, you’re probably right. In which case, we’ll just have to just enforce a restriction on how many bunnies we let him get his hands on.’

‘No,’ said Rowena, levelly, ‘I think there’s a marked difference between wanting to throttle someone and wanting to jump their bones.’

‘You can do both at the same time,’ said Henrietta, folding her legs primly and leaning over her homework, ‘some people enjoy it.’

‘If I ever find the man who built this castle, I’m going to bite his face until he stops bleeding.’

‘You know,’ she said, as the prodding continued, ‘your complete inability to touch a member of the opposite sex without physically baulking reveals a lot about your relationship with women.’

‘Alright,’ said Rowena, ‘he said, “It’s a lot smaller than I expected, but at least your wife’s not complaining!”’

‘Hat is a raggedy old pervert with a nipple fixation and a drink problem. He’s not the kind of creature you want to consult when organising any kind of social gathering.’

‘Get up, sleepy knickers.’

‘What about my knickers?’

‘They’re sleepy. I don’t know. Get up.’

The young pupils of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were rapidly becoming familiarised with the sound of two inebriated headmistresses, a rabid Scottish hat and a cow drowning their individual sorrows, while attempting to create a new drinking game and duel with mops.

And I'll actually stop there because there are way too many and I don't want to give too much away :)

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Losing Hogwarts by Rufus T. Firefly reviews
AU. Sequel to Founding Hogwarts. Rowena Ravenclaw battles with werewolves, sausages, romance, patriarchal repression and the sexual advances of an intoxicated Glaswegian hat, against a backdrop of revenge, deceit, lust and uncomfortable family visits.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 89,292 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 11/9/2010 - Published: 6/5/2007 - Rowena R., Salazar S. - Complete
The Werewolf Who Stole Christmas by Lady Bracknell reviews
Remus manages to rob Tonks of her Christmas spirit, but helping her to get it back proves the catalyst for something a tad more lasting than a kiss under the mistletoe. RemusTonks romance through OOTP and HBP. Started before DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 284,222 - Reviews: 1775 - Favs: 1,113 - Follows: 427 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 12/21/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
Founding Hogwarts by Rufus T. Firefly reviews
AU. The Founders of Hogwarts were brave, witty, loyal and cunning. They were also drunk, besotted, sarcastic, proud, lustful, jealous, conceited, baffled, cursed – and on speaking terms with an inebriated Glaswegian hat. Read the bits history missed out.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 112,102 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 11/7/2006 - Rowena R., Salazar S. - Complete
In Loco Parentis by amitai reviews
When Jack has to go back to Chicago to be with her parents, MI6, as always, get involved with Alex's life, and arrange a guardian for him to stay with. Alex plus unknown guardian equals... oh dear.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 88,398 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 1,013 - Follows: 1,124 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 7/6/2006
Wanton Confessions of a Teenage Witch by JolieFille reviews
...sometimes, I wonder if it's possible to seduce someone into becoming good. I mean, if you try hard enough, and you have enough sex appeal, I bet you could... Hmm, a new defense technique...I'm a genius! I wonder if anyone else has thought of this!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 185,677 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 6/17/2008 - Published: 7/24/2005 - Oliver W., Remus L. - Complete
Fly me to the moon by pratty-prongs-princesse reviews
James was popular, handsome, and a troublemaker. Lily was pretty, intelligent, and had a fiery temper. Mix the two together and what do you get? Chemistry and a lot of yelling. Story of love, laughter, Marauder foolishness, and a secret.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 205,523 - Reviews: 1872 - Favs: 661 - Follows: 532 - Updated: 12/5/2007 - Published: 7/25/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P.
A Dork's Diary: Memoirs of Keira Matthews by Sukie Lou reviews
A dazzling satire of modern human relations amoung young magic people? An ironic insight into the life of an ordinary witch? Or the self centred moaning of a neurotic teenager?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 81,439 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/3/2007 - Published: 5/28/2006 - Terry B., Justin F.
While I Was Out Walking One Day by Acy Yua reviews
Dear Diary, I was almost kidnapped by a knight in shining armour today. He called it a ‘rescue’, I called it a kidnapping...
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 12,207 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 7/21/2006 - Complete
Wives of Werewolves Club by Backroads reviews
Fleur and Tonks. Two girls of utterly different tastes and personalities. In fact, the only thing they have in common is the nature of their husbands! Can't girls bond over that sort of thing? Now AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,299 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 10/7/2007 - Published: 9/24/2006 - Fleur D., N. Tonks
Let Me Help You by Rii Patts reviews
Alex Rider thought this was just another mission, get the bad guy then a pat on the back and so did his new female partner.What happens when something from her past breaks her down,will Alex save her.Will she let him?after stormbreaker movie,before PB
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,330 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/2/2007 - Published: 12/25/2006
Tiny Dancer by olgreeneyes reviews
Songfic to Elton John's Tiny Dancer JPLE
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Published: 9/6/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Eleven Years Later by JKButcher reviews
This is my version of the epilogue from Deathly Hallows, and thus contains spoilers from that book. If you were a bit disappointed by the epilogue in the book, I'd urge you to give mine a try. I'm going to try and wrap up as many loose ends as possible.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,474 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 9/5/2007 - Published: 7/29/2007
An Object Lesson by amitai reviews
Everyone in Alex's school has thought him a bit wimpy, ever since his uncle died, and he started spending more and more time off school... with no good excuse. How will they react when they find out just how wrong they were? COMPLETE
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,151 - Reviews: 713 - Favs: 1,030 - Follows: 360 - Updated: 8/27/2007 - Published: 4/8/2006 - Complete
I Love You, But Please Die! by Paloma Latina reviews
Have you ever met one of those kids whose mother is over protective, embarrassing, moody and yet only wants what's best for their ‘darling little baby’? Well, I am one of those poor human beings. It sucks, especially when you're going insane. Marauder Era
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,090 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 5/28/2007
What To Make Of Him by Lady Bracknell reviews
Neither Ted nor Andromeda know quite what to make of their daughter's boyfriend. Can he win them round over Sunday lunch?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,684 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/20/2007 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
When You're Mad by GoddessGirl1372 reviews
James attempts to write a nice poem to Lily, but Sirius tries to help...Includes a moody moony, a growling stag, and a perverted padfoot. Rated for language. Updated 2nd Chapter what if lily found the note?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/16/2007 - Published: 7/26/2006 - Complete
Marauders: Hogwarts Before Harry Dropped In by Gemma Lovell reviews
He heard his brother let out a small cry. “Fine...but I’m telling Dad.” NOTE: ALL REVIEWS WILL GET READS, REVIEWS, and REPLIES! IF YOU WANT YOUR STORY REVIWED, REVIEW MINE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,532 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/1/2007 - Published: 2/3/2007
Mutiny! by kneazleFTW reviews
Hello, my name is Lily Evans, and ever fiber in my body is conspiring against me in hopes of making me fall madly in love with James Potter. LilyJames OneShot!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,466 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/7/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Death by Blunt Instrument by amitai reviews
Some are born cold, others achieve coldness, and some have coldness thrust upon them. But which one is Alan Blunt? ON HIATUS
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,203 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/28/2007 - A. Blunt
Baby It's Cold Outside by FreeSpritSprite reviews
A Christmas Oneshot, Marauders plus Lilly and minus Peter. Lilly and James are married and the four friends have a great Christmas together.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/20/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Love and Violence by tf722 reviews
Alex gets a new patner. He ussually likes to work alone, but will he like this patner.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,429 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/11/2006 - Published: 10/28/2006
Tripping Down the Aisle by bluebottlebutterfly reviews
James and Lily have decided to make it official. But between the Order, Gideon Prewett, and the fact that they can't agree on anything; that aisle looks pretty far away...with Jealous!James, Frazzled!Lily, Flirty!Sirius, Traitor!Peter, and that inevitable
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 77,656 - Reviews: 1260 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 12/18/2004 - Published: 8/18/2003
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