Age: 24 (21/04/1987)
Gender: female (last time i checked)
Height: dont know dont care the only thing i kno is that kinda i'm tall
Hair and Eye colour: black as night hair and light brown (but not too light) eyes with somewhat darker brown around the edge
Where I live: Australia (the land down under YAY 4 ME)
Little bout me
I have a birth mark on the left side of my neck that resembles a hicky (love bite), and people always ask me if its a love bite lol.
I'm really blonde (no offence to all the natureal blondes out there) and clumsee (sp?) I trip over my own legs when I'm running lol.
I am in love with Sesshoumaru. I LOVE FLUFFY!! i think i have a thing for anime dudes with while/silver hair XD IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH SEPHIROTH!! HES THE BEST EVIL DUUUUUUUDE (GOOD GUY GONE EVIL)
I LOOOOOOOVE YAOI!! and yuri but yaoi is like FTW!! my fav pairing would have to be cloudxsephy
I'm starting to get into games again im in love with final fantasy and i hope to one day play every game :3 atm im playing crisis core, dissidia final fantasy and final fantasy xiii (sooooooo cant wait for ffxiii versus to come out!! noctis is kick ass!!) i looooooooooooove advent children its one movie i can watch over and over and over and never get bored!! i have both advent children and complete but i love complete more (u get to see zack more and U GOTTA LOVE THAT SEPHIROTH BEATS CLOUD AROUND MORE and theres more blood :3 btw im not a cloud hater i love him just as much as i love sephiroth but SEPHIROTH KICKS ASS!!)
ALL HAIL SEPHIROTH!!
every time i watch or read of how zack dies i cant help but bawl my eyes out T-T its sooooooooooo not fair!! if sephy can come back then zack should toooooooooooooooooooo!!
for some reason im addicted to Fireflies by owlcity i cant stop listening to it
Fav Amine shows:
Death Note (KIIIIIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ao No Exorcist (Blue Exorcist)
Kuroshitsuji (black Butler)
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Full Metal Alchemist
Tiger and Bunny
Gundam Seed Destiny
Sailor Moon (all time fav)
Mew Mew Power
Averta the last air bender (if that is anime?? some1 tell me)
Neon Genesis Evangelion (love the remakes)
Steel Angel Karume
Dargon ball Z
Hellsing (LOVE IT LOVE IT)
Dance In The Vampire Bund
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, ZeratheNightDancer, Acegik13, Ryuu-Chiyo, Akemi-Chiyo, Archangel's Requiem, fluffyz babe
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
You know you live in 2006 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile
If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile
A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.
SUPPORT THE BUNNY!
You laugh because i'm different, i laugh because you're all the same
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Behind every successful man there is a suprised woman - Maryon Pearson
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door!
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn, that was fun!"
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, fluffyz babe
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you love Yaoi/Shonen-ai, copy this to your profile/signature!
If you think homosexuality is totally normal and not disgusting, copy this to your profile/signature!
If you have a deviantART account, copy this to your profile/signature!
If you're paranoid, copy this to your profile/signature!
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, copy this onto your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. (Who isn't?)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship SatanI
'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
Don't judge me, I hate those who judge without first being judged...
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
If you think that those god-of-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.
If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile .
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, angelic memories, fluffyz babe
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever been so wrapped up thinking about anime, anime fan art, or anime fanfictions that you zoned out and came back to reality 5 minutes or more later with no idea of what's going on, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list. Athame Kunoichi, Sugarmonkey778, A Ninja Named Frank, Banryuwielder244, angelic memories, fluffy’z babe
93 percent of american teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point being?" or "You just realized this now?" or "Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." or nevermind, just copy this to your profile and add your name to this list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the C.O.C.A, Invader Miley Phantom, Phantom Figure, deadzonedragon, Dpbuckeye, 2wingo, Banryuwielder244, angelic memories, Fluffyz babe
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling.
Copy and Paste this into your profile if you didn't know that the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune, and all were composed by Mozart
eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fi
Other Things That Just Don’t Fit Anywhere Else
female come backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
If We All Believed the Things We Saw in Movies
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.
During any police investigation, it is necessary to visit at least one strip club
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man.
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely
If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - specially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.
A credit card or a paper clip can pick any lock in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday
The more a man and a woman seem to hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
All pistols shoot at least 20 times.
All single women have a cat.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
Every car that goes off a cliff explodes before it hits the ground.
Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello? Hello?"
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15 cm.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions can be played without moving the fingers.
Stolen clothes are always a perfect fit.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally atthat precise moment you turn the television on.
No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
The "woman" will always fall down trying to escape.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.
Did You Know . . .
Kissing is healthy.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
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