Doghead Thirteen
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Joined 01-24-07, id: 1205826, Profile Updated: 12-28-11
Author has written 11 stories for Ranma, Harry Potter, X-overs, Girl Genius, Naruto, Shadowrun, and Misc. Tv Shows.

Real Name: Calum Wallace

Age: 27/April/1978, do the math mate

Gender: Hairy Bloke

Favorite Anime: Ghost in the Shell. Either movie or GitSac, I don't care. I also love the manga.

Favorite Fanfiction Subject: Ranma 1/2, with any well-done unlikely crossover tied for second place. Anyone up for a Battlestar Galactica/Deadliest Catch crossover? I think the idea's got some real potential.

Favorite Piece of Fanfiction: Undocumented Features. Gryphon Kicks Ass!

Favorite Non-Anime: Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.

Forum User: Only the specifics at the top of this profile.

Frequency of E-Mail Checking: Constantly.

Frequency of Updates: Wildly variable; I don't know when I'll be posting anything (or what it'll be) either, in fact I normally don't know until about five minutes before I post it. I don't tend to reply to 'when will you update' queries as the only reply I could give would be, 'When it happens' or 'No data'.

Anonymous Reviews: Go for it. But if you flame me I will probably ignore you. If you don't like my stuff anyway, screw it; I've got better things to do than try to change your mind. Each to his own and all that; just don't come fucking whining to me if you don't like what you're reading, your browser has a fully-functional back button. Firefox is not rocket science, people.

Rough Introductory Wibble.

Hi. Name's Calum Wallace; on LJ I'm J_Random_Mutt; my journal is connected to the 'homepage' link above. Go there for assorted rants and snapshots of my life. I'm also on Bebo at and Tagged at . You can get in touch with me via any of the above, or of course by dropping me a line via my forums here on FF.N or the FF.N private message function.

I'm a hairy Scottish git with a tendency towards beard; I've been variously accused of being a biker, a geek, a hippy, a gamer, a goth. a metalhead and a jerk. My only claim to fame is as the author of the Ranma 1/2 fanfic 'Biker 1/2', a project I still promise myself I'll finish one day; as claims to fame go, this one is in fact slightly dubious, so I guess I'll reiterate that; my only claim to fame is that I'm the nutcase responsible for The Book of Dobby and Enter the Dragon.

Look, I wanna get one thing out the way right now. I have a tendency to pair Harry with Hermione when I'm writing a Potter fic, because unless you change our favourite Gryffindor girl genius out of even the slightest recognition she always knows exactly as much as the reader about the setting; this allows me to almost inevitably have a character around to ask for an explanation of whichever weirdness some dumbass pureblood's taking for granted this time. But when I'm reading a fic, I don't much give a shit what pairing is featured as long as it fits the story and the characters behave in an at least halfway believable manner; I didn't enjoy the varied slash fics I've encountered, so I tend to avoid them. Much the same goes for Ranma-fiancees; I usually pair the Ran-man with Shampoo or Nabiki (Shampoo because she's weird and sexy, Nabs because messing with the poor girl's head is fun) or of course both (see Nabiki's mind blow as she realises this cute & cuddly homicidal warrior woman has decided they're married) but I've read and enjoyed fics that place the Big R with every possible iteration of monogamous or polygamous mess you could possibly imagine.

Well, that said there are certain ships that simply fail to compute unless you make enough changes to throw the fic squarely into altaverse territory. Nothing wrong with that (I'd be a damn hypocrite if I slammed altaverses) but all too often the author doesn't take the time to make those essential changes. C'mon folks, at least do the leg-work. An example from Ranma fandom would be Ranma/Kodachi fics; I reckon the canon Kodachi creeps the canon Ranma the hell out, making it a real treasure when done believably. Likewise for, from the world of Potter, Harry/Draco slash fics; I figure the canon Harry regards the canon Draco as being somewhere around the level of that unpleasant gungy stuff you find between your toes after a hard day's work. Sometimes when two people detest one another it isn't 'sexual tension', it's a pact of mutual loathing.

The only other way a relationship pisses me off in the body of a story is if it's obviously the be-all-and-end-all of the story, like those innumerable Ranma-picks-fiancee-X oneshots that used to clog up rec.arts.anime.creative, and probably still clutter FF.N. They're about as much use as a chocolate fireguard, and a whole lot less satisfying to devour. Likewise, fics that insist on randomly pulling a relationship out their ass piss me off, especially when one of the characters has a complete personality reversal in the process. Slash fics are (as per usual) the main culprits here. I like some meat on my fics, and if you're going to use a wild tangent of a ship, for crying out loud have a believable lead-in to it, and don't have it be the entire damn story. Have a plot, even if the plot's ripped straight from your source material or, hell, Spaceballs.

Favourite ships when reading (not that I won't read anything else) for Potter are Harry/Hermione and Harry/Luna. Hermione because she is the most shockingly loyal person Harry has ever met, Luna because she's off-the-wall nuts. For Ranma, that'd be Ranma/Kodachi because, although it's an utter bastard to write believably (I ought to know, I've tried and never got something worth posting) but when it's done right, well, Kodachi is this sexy kinky balls-to-the-wind crazy nut who can easily make any scene she cartwheels into suddenly become a tale of utter madness. Of course, I'll devour a Ranma/Shampoo or Ranma/Nabiki with some interesting ideas and at least halfway believable character backgrounds and behaviour, and if it's written right much of anything else. Hell, I'll even read painfully badly written fics if they have fun ideas.

Least favourite ships, well apart from slash (which I have never found one of that's enjoyable, maybe because I'm a heterosexual male) meh well anything canon to whatever source material you're talking about. Too much canon-compliance means that a fic needs to strive the furthest before being worth looking into. All too often we see Ranma thinking the sun shines out of Akane's arse as she pounds him into the ground like a tent peg and everything happens as a virtual clone of the canon; all too often we see Harry and Ginny randomly go into a fit of puppy-love because 'they were made for each other' or 'ginny is teh only 1 whu kan unnerstann Harry cos thei bof bin posest bi Voldie'. COME ON! This is fanfiction! Do something original! Fuck with the formula - see what the strategic addition of Feegles can do! Exchange Crookshanks for Garfield! Drop Ryoga into the Spring of Drowned Bun-Bun! Have the muggle world of the 'nineteen years later' from Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows be the world of Cyberpunk 2020, or even better Shadowrun! Ship Ryoga with Kasumi! First love, true love, unbreakable, never questioned - BORING! It's (as far as I know) unheard of for real people - and fanfic where the characters act like real people is good fanfic.

Fics that randomly kill off characters the author obviously cares about but hasn't bothered getting the reader to give a shit about are another serious annoyance; a lot of the weirder relationship-as-the-criteria Potter fics featuring time (or dimension) travel pull this all the time. They often also suffer from a severe case of pulling-relationship-out-of-arse.

And the last thing that narks the hell out of me in fics are fics that pointlessly bash a character. Such as having Akane as a terminal psychotic, or Ron suddenly turn out to have been faking his friendship with Harry from day 1, or Cologne being a mad old bat who's responsible for every bad thing that ever happened to any member of the cast, or Dumbledore being something worse than a tired old man having to make the most of an exceedingly bad situation, or Ryoga being truly serious about being Ranma's arch-enemy despite the number of times the two have helped one another, or Ginny having pumped Harry full of love potions, or Genma's bad ideas being down to malevolence rather than stupidity, or... These and all too many other such character-bashes have become clichés almost as tired as rote copying of the canon. OK, so I'm pretty close to guilty of the third example - well, we haven't seen Biker1/2!Cologne's internal dialogue yet, and when we do I plan on her being a tired old woman who's made a lot of bad decisions over the millennia and is in no way under control of the avalanche she's set in motion. I'm trying to avoid having a character who is entirely evil; some come very close (say, Voldemort) but in such cases I'm trying to expressly have them a product of their past - and, in his own incredibly screwed-up way, I'm trying to have Harry almost worse than Voldemort.

After all, in this day and age good and evil are in themselves annoyingly repetitive clichés.

Damnit, rant over. I'm gonna go bang my head on the next chapter of Top Dog.

-- We interrupt your scheduled profile for a small memorial --

They were Kayne Danvers and Danny Duczek.

They were best mates; they hung out together all the time. Kayne was going out with Biz, a mutual friend and my younger brother’s ex. Danny had a total lovebirds case going on with a girl from Leeds who I don’t know.

They were friends of mine. Not the closest, but the sort you say, ‘Hey man, how you been?’ when you see them walking down the street. The sort you say ‘Good to see you rolling out tonight’ when you see them at a party. They were good guys. A laugh to hang out with. I probably should have been a responsible ‘adult’, but I drank with them at a few parties

They laughed at my jokes. I laughed at theirs.

I wish I’d got to know them better. I wish I’d said more than, ‘Heya man’ times ‘ Heya Cal’ last time I saw Kayne.

Friday 26 January 2007, at around half past eight in the evening. They were just seventeen years old. The scene: a corner in the woods on the Forress-Grantown road. They and three friends, one of them Danny’s girlfriend, were on the way back from a day out snowboarding.

The car they were riding in came off the road. I don't know, but I suspect they hit black ice. Last I heard, the cops said no other vehicles were involved. I've seen a photo of where they came off. It wasn't a nasty piece of road.

They were in the wrong place at the wrong time; and, just like that, Kayne and Danny were gone.

So long, guys; guess I'll see you round the galaxy some time.

-- Returning to scheduled profile. --


I've reposted Biker 1/2 here as it is only currently available on the RAAC archives and the somewhat hard-to-find Studio Asynjor. I started this sucker in 1998, and I'm now working on a complete rebuild. Think of it the classic version as a flashback to my writing style of the late 90's. It's rough as hell, but hey, it's a part of Top Dog's history, right?

The future - I'm currently rewriting the early Biker 1/2, and intend to salvage the further unposted stuff that's on my rather dead iMac; this intent is well underway due to the second-hand G4 that's stood beside the PC I'm typing this on. The plan is for more martial arts, more swearing, more mayhem and a more fluid story. So far, I seem to be doing okay.


The rewrite of Biker 1/2 is still in progress, I'm currently focusing more on Enter the Fnords and A Fox in Tokyo as both need to catch up, but Biker 1/2 Chapter 14 mostly exists as of today (20th April 2010)

The details in these chapters are not a mistake, and so far I haven't seen any coincidences. I'm ramping up the levels of complexity from the original, and have spent a lot of time figuring out the twists and turns of Amazon and Amerai society; I'll likewise be paying far more attention to the Musk.

Note that I'm still keeping the 1998 timescale for Biker 1/2 v2, therefore the events of Biker 1/2 begin shortly after the end of 'Harry Johnson and the Deathtrap Girl'. Mostof the delay with the rewrite is due to the way I'm going to tie this thing into Top Dog; I need Harry and the CTMA to catch up a bit due to the way the two stories are going to affect one another after about chapter 10-15 of Biker 1/2 Rewrite and the end of 'Deathtrap Girl', and as certain members of the Naruto cast are going to come ambling into centre-stage in the next chapter of Biker 1/2 I really need to finish A Fox in Tokyo first. I already made (and later went back and corrected) a horrible continuity error in Biker 1/2 Rewrite during the scene where Akane and Nabiki have a little chat in Akane's workshop, and I'd like to avoid further such errors; there's one buried in 'Headmaster's Socks', but it's simply a detail I wrote in, never resolved, and then contradicted the way I was going to resolve it; it pertains to the red-haired elf-girl Harry was closely watching just prior to the Sorting, and the sequence wherein Harry and Dumbledore discuss Harry's mother.


Enter the Fnords is a matter of me giving Harry Potter the Biker 1/2 mistreatment. It originally began as a sort of 'What if Hogwarts was a college' kind of fic, and then spiralled out of control into the lumbering juggernaut it is today. Seriously, I have several megabytes of plain text scraps for this fic.

Enter the Fnords is intended to cover all seven of Harry's years at Hogwarts, and definitely further, with separate 'intermissions' for each of the intervening summers. I've also got at least one side-story planned (Sirius Black's Bogus Journey) with another couple of ideas cooking away on the backburners.

As it stands, Enter the Fnords is a crossover mish-mash nearly on the crossed-overness level of Undocumented Features. I don't have a current list of everything I'm referencing or crossing over, mostly because I lost track a while back, but I may get around to writing one up sooner or later; some of this stuff is just a little obscure.

Enter the Fnords is currently barely trickling along. I've completed Book 1: Harry Johnson and the Headmaster's Socks and the first Intermission; the first fewchapters of Deathtrap Girl are now up, and I'm about halfway through the next with the usual roughs and fragments for the key plotlines.

Further into the future of the story, I've got the basic plot of the full series, though of course none of it's set in stone. Current provisional titles include 'Harry Johnson and the Marauder's Oath' for book 3, 'Harry Johnson and the Man from M.O.R.O.N' for book 4, 'Harry Johnson and the Unnerving Inheritance' for book 5, and 'Harry Johnson and the Genocidal Madman' for book 6. I'll probably call book 7 'Harry Johnson and the New World Disorder', while the final battle between Team Harry and Team Voldie is now intended to take up twenty-four chapters, one per hour of the day, in a volume titled 'The Longest Day'.


Well a thread on CaerAzkaban triggered off a whole string of wand-related ideas for this fic, so it might be going someplace just now - all I've written was for it in the last few days. Plot development is reaching the point of nicely solid, and I'm starting to have a pretty good picture of where this thing is going. As for a when on the next posting? You guessed it; no data.


As I work my way through the rewrite of Biker 1/2, it is becoming increasingly apparent that I need to subject the Naruto crew to a full set of altaversing and character development; this is the primary cause of the hold-up in Biker 1/2 Rewrite.

So, this. Like with TBoD, it's currently on back-burners waiting for inspiration to pop up. When? No data.


Spawned by two threads on Caer Azkaban, this particular fic is my rebuffal of two Potter-fic cliches; the first, Harry-is-a-critter-oh-angst, the second, Gee-slavery-is-legal-so-that's-sexy wank-fics.

So Mr H. Potter, age eight, gets in a bit of a situation at Avebury and unexpectedly turns into a rather large dragon.

And, actually, y'know things like being a human are kinda easy to misplace sometimes, and well, he's cool with it so, y'know, you don't gotta have a big situation on his behalf.

It got slightly derailed when Snape jumped up and screamed something about proletariat and Viva La Revolution as an attempt to make Snape a heroic figure without losing his essential snarky generally-unpleasent unsympathetic Snape-ness, partially cued by a somewhat perverted mailing list thread concerning magical pets, along with some musings about just how much of a shit-hole a world where the popular wank-fic 'slave contract' stuff was allowed, followed by the realisation I'd accidentally invented a Harry who's completely and utterly immune to angst - so he deserves an angsty world to be completely angstless at. Then assorted goblins started shouting something about being able to have their guns if prized from their cold dead fingers, and any attempt to make this anything but utter crack fell by the wayside.

Harry's a cheerfully immature nice kid in a relentlessly grimdark world - fortunately for him, he's several tons of nigh-on-indestructible metal-muching winged lizard whose forehead has a track record for ricocheting Killing Curses. Voldemort may not know it yet, but he's lunch.

The one 'chapter' that's up runs to forty thousand words and change; to put that in perspective, most first-time novellists are restricted to a hundred thou. It covers everything up to Harry's first year at Hogwarts, ending as he goes to board the Express. Whenever I eventually find myself in a loopy enough mood to cobble together the second 'chapter' (currently in horribly fragmented form) it'll be at the very least the same size and cover all the events of Harry's first year at Hogwarts. As usual, When? No data.


Is a one-shot, spawned from my memories of crabbing off the northwest of Scotland, staying up late at night watching the lighthouse on the head of Raasay and listening to Atlantic 252, a Wolfstone song adapted from an old Orkney poem, some bits and bobs I watched of 'Deadliest Catch', rumination on what did canon!Harry want in life, and irritation with the canon 'Nineteen Years Later'. Fuck you Rowling - nineteen years later still the ocean rolls...

Might be a next-generation fanfic in it but I'd be surprised; all that needs said had been said.


For now, I'll mostly be chopping back and forth between Top Dog and any other crap that pops up.

Once I get around to converting my Mac files to PC, it'll give me several hundred thousand words of future Biker 1/2, including a take on Neon Genisis Evangelion starring the daughter of Ranma and Shampoo that's certain to get assorted NGE frothers backs up; don't ask for an explanation, you'll get one when I get that far into the saga. I've got at least one follow-up to 'The Book of Dobby: Per Arcana ad Astra' planned (The Book of Dobby: Lord of War) and I'd like to rework my old Ranma altaverse 'Burning Inside' sometime as the effort currently lurking in the RAAC archives happens too fast - maybe when I get around to it.

Thanks for reading, any feedback is more than welcome. And thanks to everyone who's encouraged me via the reviews threads for the varied fics upon these pages, especially BlazeStryker; you guys are fucking awesome. Especial thanks to the crew on Rorsch's Yahell group Caer Azkaban, who're all mental and mostly egg me on. I am currently in search of further prereaders (hey, the more folks preread this shit the merrier, problems one person misses are liable to be caught by someone else) so if anyone wants to give it a shot, drop me a private message via FF.N's private messaging function containing the email address you usually use and I'll add you to the forwarding list for draft copies of my fics.

I am also vaguely looking for people interested in co-authoring to one degree or another. Top Dog is a monster of a project and a hell of a big universe, so if anyone wants to join in the fun over here, drop me a line via private message or LJ or something; if you're not into that shit, you can find me via the Caer Azkaban Yahell group. Oh, and about that? Someone's asked, and made me realise just what a juggernaut of a task bringing someone up to speed with everything I've got planned for Top Dog is. Russel's Teapot, if you're reading this, I'm still trying to collate enough information to get the plan straight.

Oh, and thanks to the people who've flamed me. Your sterling encouragement has driven me to strive to piss you off even more.


Calum 'Doghead13' Wallace

Just about my bedtime, August 13th 2010.

Truly horrendous idea for a Bubblegum Crisis fanfic:

Largo. All of us BGC fans know and loathe him.

However, he's not the only Largo out there. There's also Largo. From the Megatokyo webcomic.

So, give BGC Largo the personality of Megatokyo Largo.

Suddenly you have a zombie-obsessed hyper-boomer ranting on in 1337-speak while overclocking computers in the nude...

Horrible, horrible, idea.

Cal - Up too late 20/August/08.

Something random copied from Infernal Maelstrom's profile and applied to the crew of the Blink Dog:

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members:

1) The captain - Gudday shelias and blokes, me name's Captain Bruce Walker, aaand there's no reason to freak, we're gonna be five thousand lights away this time tomorrow.
2) His Lieutenant - In many ways, the whole crew counts - especially the Dog's pilot since Bruce and Alice are fraternal twins.
3) Various female technical staff - Hi, I'm Tara. Tara T'rash'gal. I'm the navigator round here, and it's also my job to keep this bucket of bolts running. Takes both hands and both feet to keep the old girl in space some days, but when she's in a good mood she purrs...
4) A hotshot pilot - Gudday cobblers, me name's Alice Walker and I drive the Blink Dog. She'll be right, we've got the best bloody bush mechanic in the galaxy watching the old bird's workings, no worries mate!
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) - Uh, hi Master, uh, I'm Kid, uh, don't mind me, I'll be under the sensor console if Master wants me.
6) The Doctor - She hasn't got the position yet, but she's been introduced. Saying any more would be telling. Until she's on the crew, Tara's filling in for her.
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) - Well, saying any more than that there's a whole load of 'em and they tend to get a bit fanatical would definitely be telling.

Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck - My name is Harry... well, Potter I suppose, since you lot already know who I was born as. I also answer to Lizard-Eyes, Spock, Darth Venger, Slade Morley, or Oh Shit It's Him. And, if you're incredibly lucky, you'll never make me angry.
2) Amazing Intelligence - Uhhh, hi. I'm Hermione Allison Granger, and I'm more intelligent than you, at least going by IQ tests. I'll give you a hint; they don't help when it comes to working out what's wrong with reality, especially when the bits of reality you're worried about involve Harry's assorted mental disorders or just what the Hell's going on today.
3) Incredible irritation - (Bounce bounce bounce PINK! bounce bounce bounce HUG!) Gudday person I don't know yet! (bounce bounce bounce PINK!) I'm Michelle Chaos! (bounce bounce bounce) I like you mate!
4) Extreme cuteness - (Bounce bounce bounce PINK! bounce bounce bounce)
5) Irresponsible drunkenness - I already told you, name's Harry. Hey, did I just stick my finger in this and lick it? Oh good, I'd have hated to think there were really purple fish crawling all over your head.
6) Homophobicness - So the purple fish aren't real. Well, faggots are. A real pain in the ass. Geddit, hahaha. Woah, look at the heads coming out of that fridge...
7) Emotionless (Idiots.) - Greetings, Taragai. I am Talon Alpha First Class S'tarak'hai R'hara'tath, and I am a landwarrior in Her Radiant Majesty's First Legion, currently assigned to the reserves for the duration of my edification at the Collegium. Do not worry about the fact that I am substantially larger and more violent than yourself; you do not pose any apparent threat to the Thousand Kingdoms of Kendarat, and unless you do so, I have no valid reason to destroy you.

Well, I saw this list of the Anime Laws of Physics while listening to The Offspring and randomly browsing for fics, and, yes, pink is in fact a sound effect, as are bounce and hug, especially when coming from an overly-happy perky Australian catgirl who's fixated on pink and incapable of disliking anyone...

Cal - Up too late again 18/October/2008, and at least it's a Saturday.


Every time someone threatens physical violence in an attempt to get me to update a fic, I'm more and more tempted to shit-can the whole thing. Considering I have now marked said fic as abandoned, that should tell you just how tempted I am as of late.

I am not getting paid for this stuff. I am doing it for laughs in between unloading trucks. Saying that if I don't update you'll come round and beat me up is a good incentive to jack it in.

If you want to discuss things more personally, I work full-time at the Phoenix shop on the Findhorn Foundation in Morayshire, Scotland. I'm also over six feet tall, hairy, Scottish, frequently pissed off, unload trucks for a living, and the only footwear I own has steel toecaps.

Cal - 26/March/2009.


I have received commentary relating to the tech levels portrayed in Top Dog, in particular how very 'low tech' some of them - assorted computer hardware, surface vehicles, and light firearms - seem in comparison to, say, a starship, or an empire encompassing millions of star systems. Why, I have been asked, is an AK-47 still regarded as a serviceable rifle, and why are there computers that look pretty like a present-day laptop?

In reply to this, allow me to introduce you to the drop spindle.

The drop spindle is a tool used to spin fibres such as wool into yarn. It consists of a stick. More elaborate versions may have a disc on this stick, and a hook on one end. This tool is one of the earliest know human inventions, and is in fact so old that we have no idea when it was invented - in fact, it's probably one of those things that were invented more than once. A whole mess of more advanced spinning tools from varied eras and all over the planet exist, but the basic disc-and-hook-on-stick drop spindle is still in use today worldwide.


Because it can be made out of much of any available rubbish, does not require availability of fancy technology or elaborate training to construct/maintain/operate, and it works.

In a similar vein, I can see remarkably current-day-looking shovels, spanners, hammers, screwdrivers ETC remaining in use for a hell a long time, even in use alongside vastly more 'advanced' tools; sometimes a piece of design is right from the word go, and in my opinion current laptops computers have the basic layout dead on. One that could, for example, be rolled up like a magazine and shoved in your pocket wouldn't have the necesarry rigidity for typing, and a keyboard is a startlingly ergonomic, user-friendly, high-compatiability, input device; touchscreens, for example, lack any tacticle feedback when you're using them while once you know your way around a given keyboard you can feel where your hands are when you're typing, and unlike (say) a direct neural link all a keyboard requires of the user is a servicable set of hands and eyes.

And likewise, using one of the setting's monster rifles to, say, hunt small game or take pot-shots at backwoods bandits would be 'Welcome to Overpenetration City'; there is a reason you don't use a self-propelled artillery piece to hunt rabbits for the pot, people, and it's not just because the gamey wouldn't take kindly to you levelling his forest. Oh, and fully-functional AK-47's can be made out of scrap metal using hand tools in the arse end of freaking Afghanistan; look up 'Khyber Pass Copies' on Wikipedia some time.

Basically, in any frontier, logistics-poor, area, there is most definitely such a thing as too much technology. Your fancy SUV may be pretty nifty where you live, but if spares and fuel can't be had for love nor money you're better off sticking with the Mk1 horse. Most of what we've seen in Top Dog so far is rich systems - but I'd have thought the comment about RAW SEWAGE being a valuable import on some planets might drop a hint as to how that works out for the rest of the galaxy...

Cal, 21/6/2010.

Dear Anon who commented on my portrayal of McGonagall's accent in Enter the Dragon.

First, thanks for being too yellow to leave me a way to directly reply.

Second, there is more than one kind of Scots accent, in fact the accents are varied enough that you can tell which town in a 30-mile area someone comes from if you know enough about them - it's easy to tell the difference between, as an example, a Buckie accent, a Forres accent, and a Nairn accent.

Third, I am Scottish. I have spent my entire life living in Scotland. I can recognise two dozen different Scottish accents, and can write about half of those I recognise. I directly modelled McG's accent on a friend's GF, who's from Fife, as I settled on McG being from guess where.

Fourth, you'd be amazed at how many Scottish people's accents drift depending on who they're talking to, what situation they're in, and how het up they are. Thus my writing McG's accent as getting thicker and thicker as she becomes more agitated.

Fifth, Glasgow is in Scotland, ergo a Glaswegian accent is a type of Scottish accent, ergo someone who sounds Glaswegian sounds - dun dun dun duuuuun - Scottish.

And sixth, I dare say someone from Fife way would be rather surprised to find themselves described as 'sounding like a demented Irish pirate'...

Frankly, 'review' disregarded as you came up with some uninformed commentary concerning accents while failing to elaborate on the 'several problems' you apparently 'saw'.

Cal, 6/8/2010.

Further Concerning Enter the Dragon.

Well having been browsing around on the Net looking at what people are saying about my fics (as I do from time to time) I'm now completely staggered by how many people out there on the net have completely failed to comprehend what 'Shadowrun crossover' MEANS.

First off of course the fic's world is going to go to hell and of course it's already halfway there. Of course there are revolutions, breakaway states, ethnic cleansings, people being declared 'subhuman' - IT'S A FREAKING SHADOWRUN CROSSOVER. Shadowrun's setting, when you get down to the nitty-gritties, takes a hell of a lot of out-nastying. OK, so oWoD and Rifts manage it, but sheezus people. Please try looking at what a fic's crossing BEFORE you smack-talk the author in future, OK?

And second off, which trumps, magic or technology?


Cal, 13/8/2010

More Concerning Enter the Dragon.

In reply to reviewer 'Ghostner' who didn't leave a reply address:

There's a reason I've been shifting the 'feel' of Enter the Dragon, and that reason isn't just because it's a Shadowrun crossover; it being a Shadowrun crossover is because of that reason.

The core concept only had a certain amount of mileage before it became repetitive. Sure, I could probably have spooled out the Harry-the-immature-dragon into an entire fic continuity, but it would A) involve a horribly static core character and B) just rehash canon with a Super!Harry. Again. Been done. Got the freaking T-shirt. Doesn't need done again.

It needed an arc plot, and the Awakening is the mother of all arc plots. Having accidentally created a completely angst-proof Harry, he needed an angsty world to adamantly fail to angst at. And to do anything beyond thrash around blindly, he needed allies to tell him what's going on. And the gobboes, given a firepower upgrade, made for passable allies for him.

And, well, have a read of my commentary on the fic earlier in this profile - it is a concept assembled from raw crack, propped up by a set of crack characters and a heavily time-acellerated version of the Shadowrun back-story. It's elaborate crack, and it's been crack since the word go.

Cal, 11/9/2010.

A Reply to the Reveiwer called digger.

G'day mate! I'm afraid FF.N seems to have eaten whatever contact details you may have attached to your reviews, so I'm just going to have to answer like this;

Top Dog maintains Harry Potter's canon birthdate of July 31st 1980. However, within the Top Dog continuua Hogwarts is a college rather than a school - so, the students are generally sixteen and up. Thus, the story begins in Harry's sixteenth year - 1996. Headmasters Socks covers the 1996-1997 college year; Lunatic Scientist takes place in the summer of 1997; Deathtrap Girl begins in 1997 and ends in 1998.

That also kicks back to the somewhat dated Earth weaponry used in the fic; you won't see a Magpul PDR as it's far too recent, while the likes of the P90 were around during the late 90s.

(I'm pretty familiar with the 1990's. I was a teenager then.)

I have fired two real guns. A bolt-action rifle in .22LR calibre (owned by my father) and an over-under double-barrel shotgun owned by a coursemate while I was in college. Bear in mind that I live in Britain, the land of the gun ban; pulling teeth is significantly easier and more pleasent an experience than getting a gun license in Britain today, and ALL handguns are Britain-illegal. Semi-auto centrefire rifles? They've been banned since the mid eighties. Hell, you need a permit to purchase AIRSOFT GUNS in Britain today; that is how acutely hopolophobic the government and mass-media of this country are.

The particular firearms (as opposed to my swarming collection of airguns) I'd most like to have a go with, if I had to pick three, are the SMLE MkIII for historic reasons (one of those is a big part of why my grandparents were born in the first place) the Colt Python in .357 Magnum (as I have a soft spot for revolvers but a hate-on for cracked wrists) and any artillery piece - serious mate, I'd love a go with a full-sized howitzer because just how fucking cool would that be?

And, have you ever heard two hardcore, hardcore, fans of something arguing sticky little details for the sheer joy of talking this shit with someone who knows their stuff? I know damn well a dropped barrel doesn't impair a handgun's accuracy in any meaningful way at all as the bullet has left the barrel before it drops, but I know hardcore railfans (or bikers, or metalheads, or or or) argue the same sort of retarded little detail so I'd be surprised if firearms fans didn't do the same; that snippet was included precisely because it was a stupid and inconsequential detail for the duo to basically manufacture an argument over.

Cal, 28/12/2011.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

From the Ashes by erttheking reviews
Even after seeing their world burned, Humanity was able to stand up again, and push beyond their pre-war status and reach the heavens. But how will a hardened Humanity handle life among the stars? And how will others react to this aggressive newcomer?
Crossover - Fallout & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 666,675 - Reviews: 2923 - Favs: 1,568 - Follows: 1,439 - Updated: 9/22 - Published: 5/17/2012
Pencils down Death rays up by Vaunt reviews
This is it. No one listened to Shepard, and the Reapers invade Earth. But since this is an old World of Darkness crossover, invading Earth is a pretty dumb move.
Crossover - World of Darkness & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,352 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 701 - Follows: 767 - Updated: 9/4 - Published: 4/3/2014
Saruman of many Devices by Saphroneth reviews
Alone of every power in Middle-Earth, Saruman innovates, notably gunpowder. But he lost. What if he had a little help? Actually a cross-over between LOTR and the General series by David Drake. Uses both book and movie elements.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Book X-overs - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 120,096 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 980 - Updated: 8/29 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Saruman
Team 8 by S'TarKan reviews
What if Naruto had been selected for a different team? What if he'd had a different mentor? Who would guess the consequences would be so large?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 276,868 - Reviews: 14145 - Favs: 17,759 - Follows: 15,277 - Updated: 4/23 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Harry Potter and the Invincible TechnoMage by Clell65619 reviews
Harry Potter and the Marvel Universe. 5 year old Harry accompanies the Dursleys on a Business trip to Stark International, where an industrial accident kills all of Harry's living relatives. A very different Harry goes to Hogwarts. Dating, Romance, noship
Crossover - Harry Potter & Ironman - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 156,564 - Reviews: 4723 - Favs: 8,526 - Follows: 10,442 - Updated: 1/24 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Harry P., A. E. Stark/Tony
R&D by dogbertcarroll reviews
YAHF but why should all the costumes be American when the proprietor isn't? Xander dresses as the last human alive...
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Red Dwarf - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,918 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 561 - Follows: 481 - Updated: 9/11/2014 - Published: 1/20/2012 - Xander H.
Shinji and Warhammer40k by Charles Bhepin reviews
Shinji Ikari finds a boxful of insanity and becomes even more unhinged than before. Somehow, this is A Good Thing. As the grim dark future melts into stark bleak present, upon a throne of tropes humanity might find the savior it so requires. [story halted; see REMASTER version]
Crossover - Evangelion & Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 48 - Words: 755,729 - Reviews: 1681 - Favs: 2,560 - Follows: 1,827 - Updated: 4/4/2014 - Published: 11/11/2007
I wouldn't exactly call that sitting by dogbertcarroll reviews
Xander is chosen... To babysit Dawn while Joyce joins Giles searching for Buffy in LA following the Alcatha incident. Unfortunately for Xander, Dawn has a plan, The Mayor has a spell, and TV has its first live broadcast Reality Show!
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,141 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 1,098 - Follows: 541 - Updated: 3/24/2014 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Xander H. - Complete
40k: ToyHammer by Rogue Vector reviews
In the near future of the 21st century, there is only boredom for Michael. Until the finest of the 41st Millennium start appearing in his living room. While shrunk down to miniature scale. With functional weapons. And they are really, really pissed off...
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 179,721 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 955 - Follows: 865 - Updated: 1/14/2014 - Published: 10/29/2009
Millennium by Black Dragon6 reviews
Guardian spinoff and Sailor Moon crossover. My first full dive into the worn path of SM Ranma crosses! Let's see how many characters I can totally corrupt...
Ranma - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 14 - Words: 411,958 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 6/17/2012 - Published: 6/22/2005
Guardian by Black Dragon6 reviews
Ranma leaves Nerima and joins a special police force. Special in that it's made up of psychos, fools, and nymphomaniacs all charged with protecting Tokyo from the supernatural and terrorist forces that plague its streets.
Ranma - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 455,231 - Reviews: 804 - Favs: 949 - Follows: 526 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 4/14/2002
The Queen who fell to Earth by Bobmin356 reviews
Forced to compete and abandoned by his friends, he steps from the tent with only one goal in mind, suicide. Instead Harry awakens a power that spans time and space and starts a war between the worlds.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dragonriders of Pern series - Rated: M - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 302,411 - Reviews: 2424 - Favs: 4,193 - Follows: 2,342 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
XSGCOM: Terra from the Deep by Hotpoint reviews
Crossover between SG1 and XCOM. As old enemies fall by the wayside new ones appear to challenge the Tau'ri and their allies.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 153,663 - Reviews: 370 - Favs: 536 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 5/3/2011 - Published: 1/3/2010
The Tiniest Wish by Brenn.K reviews
The tiniest wish can make all the difference. A Slytherin-sorted Harry, a not so soft Narcissa, and a very, very large familiar are just a few things to take note of when Severus does not see James Potter when he first looks at Harry. Hiatus: 1/12-3/12 .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 44 - Words: 115,657 - Reviews: 1114 - Favs: 1,181 - Follows: 1,471 - Updated: 3/28/2011 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Harry P., Millicent B.
Realizations by Wishweaver reviews
Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it...empty! What do you do when you can't go to your friends for help? Additional Story Notes FYI: a. AU Summer before Fifth Year Fic, b. Not particularly fast paced.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 264,047 - Reviews: 8565 - Favs: 10,493 - Follows: 7,923 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 3/6/2003 - Harry P.
Nin Tech by Irritus185 reviews
Long ago the world was full of amazing technology, things ninja could only dream of. For centuries this ancient art was lost. That is until a nosy blonde found it in a dusty tome. Now he follows in their footsteps – those of a mad scientist.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 134,778 - Reviews: 1261 - Favs: 3,289 - Follows: 2,935 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Naruto U., Tenten
Half a Legacy by Ozzallos reviews
Crystal Tokyo is not a given and the last unascended Ancient initiates a chain of events that will thrust Usagi, Ranma and O'Neill out into the frontier, where they will either secure the future or watch the Universe itself fall silent. R.5/SM/SG1
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Ranma - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,291 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 332 - Published: 7/8/2010 - J. O'Neill, Ranma
Kakashi's Lament by Chris Hill reviews
Kakashi will regret having the most unpredictable person in Konoha on his team. Poor him.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,008 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 883 - Follows: 871 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Kakashi H., Naruto U.
Recca Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by Aleh reviews
Originally an omake to Appreciation: Some people should not be in some positions. When Hakaishin Recca woke up in Harry Potter's shoes, he promptly went about proving this.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,946 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/26/2010 - Published: 10/17/2008
Muggle Summer, Wizard's Fall by canoncansodoff reviews
A seventh-year saga that begins one hour after Dumbledore's funeral. Harry gets some unexpected and unexpectedly useful help from the Muggle much that wonders whether the power he knows not is actually the British monarchy! HHr, RWLL
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 69 - Words: 380,866 - Reviews: 2200 - Favs: 2,301 - Follows: 2,371 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 3/2/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Poker Night by Academia Nut reviews
When a Hero of the Imperium perishes, the stakes are never higher. Warhammer 40k crossed with a variety of other universes
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,685 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 78 - Published: 8/28/2009
The Best Seven Years by Blu Taiger reviews
Calvin is eighteen and living in England with his folks. Now, he's faced with the task of telling Susie what he's been doing for the past seven years.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 90,344 - Reviews: 335 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 8/15/2009 - Published: 1/19/2006 - Luna L., Calvin, Susie Derkins - Complete
Appreciation by Aleh reviews
There are many stories in which Team 7 gets a sane, well adjusted sensei who helps them to become loyal, competent shinobi of the Leaf. This... is not one of them.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 104,669 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 314 - Updated: 12/24/2008 - Published: 12/23/2007
All at Once by Aurilia reviews
AU. Harry didn't go to Hogwarts, he went to Stonewall Secondary. His main goal in life was to leave the Dursleys' and go to college, until Remus Lupin finds him on his seventeenth birthday and his life changes all at once. See Ch 1 AN for more info.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 39 - Words: 210,642 - Reviews: 2935 - Favs: 2,276 - Follows: 2,347 - Updated: 10/24/2008 - Published: 5/1/2006 - Harry P., Remus L.
Bat Tales: NERV's Belfry by Andrew Joshua Talon reviews
How much trouble could one little bat be? To Shinji Ikari, it allowed him to bring a fictional hero to life and change the fate of humanity. Way to go, doofus... Fusion with Batman.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,327 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 7/23/2007 - Published: 4/6/2005 - Shinji I., Rei A.
Old Soldiers Never Die by Rorschach's Blot reviews
A gift from his uncle Vernon gives Harry a new way to fight the Dark Lord
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 94,234 - Reviews: 2703 - Favs: 4,503 - Follows: 1,767 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 2/4/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Bungle in the Jungle: A Harry Potter Adventure by jbern reviews
If you read just one fiction tonight make it this one. Go inside the mind of Harry Potter as he deals with betrayals, secrets and wild adventures. Not your usual fanfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 189,882 - Reviews: 2087 - Favs: 3,975 - Follows: 1,112 - Updated: 5/8/2007 - Published: 4/12/2006 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
So Sue Me by lunakatrina reviews
My take on Harry's first year starting with him getting his letters. Add a lot of sarcasm, stir, and serve cold.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,383 - Reviews: 2226 - Favs: 3,663 - Follows: 3,145 - Updated: 1/5/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P.
The Best of Times by Ozzallos reviews
Ranma discovers why his life at the Tendo Dojo has been hell and engages in an epic pissing match with Pluto and the rest of the Senshi. A fukufic production, multipart. COMPLETE.
Ranma - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 104,987 - Reviews: 911 - Favs: 1,167 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 2/25/2006 - Published: 10/7/2005 - Complete
Episode XIV: A New Force by DhampyrX2 reviews
Here's the beginning of my 'Xander: Twilight Lord of the Sith' sequels. {SEQUAL TO HALLOWEEN: EPISODE X(ANDER)}
Buffy X-overs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,707 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 12/18/2004 - Published: 9/20/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Sea King reviews
Nineteen years ago, Harry Potter put paid to Voldemort at Hogwarts; now it's nineteen years later and, as the diesels hammer on, a bushy-haired girl is still searching for The-Boy-Who-Walked-Away... Oneshot, Deadliest Catch crossover.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,361 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 860 - Follows: 154 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Complete
Harry Johnson and the Deathtrap Girl reviews
Sequel to Headmaster’s Socks. As Harry and Hermione enter the next stage of the relationship, it's time for them to enter their second term at the Collegium. But there's something rotten in the bowels of Hogwarts, and Ginny Weasely is in big trouble...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 82,497 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 10/14/2011 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
The Book of Dobby Reboot: Per Arcana ad Astra reviews
Rewriting the Book of Dobby. Harry Potter has had enough, and now - with a little help from his friends - he's decided to bring the fight to the Death Eaters in a way they cannot understand. Turn out those lights! Don't you know there's a war on?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Girl Genius - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,481 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 633 - Follows: 704 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 5/27/2009
Top Dog and Biker Half shorts reviews
Assorted shorts from the Top Dog universe. Most of these are ideas I've had that I can't think of where to go with next; others are background-setting for things that'll happen elsewhere. Some stuff I've got written can't be posted yet due to spoilers.
Crossover - X-overs & Ranma - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,348 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 4/4/2007
Enter the Dragon reviews
It began with a quirk of timing. It continued because dragons, such as what 8-year-old Harry Potter just turned into, are large and difficult to control. Fortunate for everyone he's a nice kid, eh? Shadowrun and Rifts crossover. You have now been warned.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Shadowrun - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 41,653 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 2,022 - Follows: 1,851 - Published: 12/16/2009 - Harry P.
A Fox in Tokyo reviews
Naruto Uzumaki just became a ninja. But wait a minute, since when was Konoha hidden in modern-day Tokyo and where did all the guns and bombs come from? This is Nerima, 1996, and these are the meanest streets on Earth. Set in the Top Dog universe.
Crossover - Ranma & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 41,772 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 12/2/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Naruto U.
Harry Johnson and the Lunatic Scientist reviews
Fits between Headmaster's Socks and Deathtrap Girl. It's summer 1997, Harry's got a job to do, the Blink Dog is in for a Hell of a ride, and Hermione's about to get a look at what life as an interstellar mercenary is really all about...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 111,177 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 9/5/2007 - Complete
The Book of Dobby: Per Arcana ad Astra reviews
There's only so far you can push anyone before they'll push back, and Harry's been pushed too far. Between that and Dobby's form of mad proving contagious, things are about to get violent. ABANDONED.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 28,963 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 12/2/2008 - Published: 10/2/2008
Biker Half: The Rewrite reviews
In a world built on lies where nothing is what it seems, dominant lesbian goth Akane Tendo finds herself falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole accompanied by an aquatranssexual nomad biker, a half Irish guerilla and a private club of crazies...
Ranma - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,180 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 2/17/2007
Harry Johnson and the Headmaster's Socks reviews
Very extreme AU, myriad crossovers, many new characters, very super Super!Harry, majorly altered timeline. Entering Hogwarts, sixteen-year-old Hermione Granger is about to find herself thrown in at the deep end of one helluva mean old galaxy...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 157,825 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 8/17/2007 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Complete
Biker Half Classic Version reviews
Yup, it's the notorious Biker Half! Originally written between 1998 and 2002, when I had a lot more learning to do. This is as far as this one goes, folks. I'm now working on an extensive rewrite and replot, to be found among my stories posted here.
Ranma - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 118,952 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/3/2007 - Published: 1/29/2007 - Complete