LuvtoWrite
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Joined 01-25-07, id: 1206690, Profile Updated: 04-25-11
Author has written 12 stories for Bridge to Terabithia, Smallville, Peter Pan, Movie X-overs, Titanic, Bible, Harry Potter, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Hi! My name's...COUGAR! I really didn't like this name at first but when Gracey refused to let me change it I had to get used to it. So yeah. Now I'm Cougar W. And happy =D And W isn't my real last initial. It's not even close so don't even try to start stalking me. Because...I'll know if you are. Oh yes, I'll know. I work for the CIA and I will hunt you down and make you pay!! OH MY GOSH! That RHYMES!! HAHAHA

You'll find, if you get to know me, that I am a very easy-going person and often like to use these in my messages: "=D, Lol=P,"

I am a Chrisitan. This means that I believe my Lord and Savior died on a cross for me to save me and all who trust in him from hell. I believe that he rose again after the third day in the grave and is very much alive. If you have any questions at all or anything like that, I'll do my best to answer them. I'm not going to pretend to be perfect though, because I am most definitley not. Only Jesus is perfect and (using a quote from a very good book) we aren't supposed to be perfect, merely let his perfectness shine out through us.

I loooove writing, yet sadly most of my stories are not fanfiction related so they remain for my eyes only =D But that's ok...it means I'm original. lol. I have, however, posted some of my original stuff on fictionpress.com but sadly I can't find any of it when I search for it...so here's a link to some of my stories. I would be SO grateful if you read my stories on there because I don't get many reviews =D So yeah, read a story and tell me what ya think!

Life Can Be Taken Away

A Summer in Minnesota

Heroes Unheard Of

I enjoy hanging out with my friends and getting sugar high on rootbeer floats...and ice cream...and chocolate...sand rootbeer made from roots...and anything else that's loaded with sugar really. Well, actually I've been known to get sugar high off of water and vegetables too so... =D

TV shows I enjoy: Lost and American Idol are my favorites. Ones that I HAVE to watch or else I get sad.

The books that I'm obsessing over at the time: Harry Potter (always at the top), Spiderwick Chronicles, Uglies

Movies that I recently saw and liked or that are on my mind:

The Invisible, Spiderwick Chronicles, Sixth Sense, Uptown Girls...

Music: Family Force 5, Carrie Underwood, Skillet...I like pretty much any kind of music.

(I've found that people don't usually read the favorites section which is why it's so short. If you want to know if I like something, just ask=D)

Oh yes. If you are a Christian and want some serious good words of wisdom, go to Isaac Deitz's myspace page. Or Tub-O's page if any of you guys happen to like Family Force 5. It's the same person, just you might know him under a different name. Seriously though, he writes these amazing blogs that really make you think. Even if you're not a Christian, you can still understand it. It's AMAZING and you can totally tell that he is on fire for God.

So! When me and my friends or even my family get together, funnyness ensues. Upon realizing this, I decided to start a quote page to make us smile when we're not feeling happy or even when we're just wanting to laugh harder than we already are. It's like twenty-three pages long and is CONSTANTLY being updated. So here's how the infamous quote page works:

Older quotes are at the begining and newer quotes are at the end along with a blog.

WARNING: We are extremely random people that are hyper a whole lot and find humor in the most non-humor situations.

Me: MOVE THE STUPID STARFISH!

Gracey: MOVE THE STUPID STARFISH! (in Napoleon Dynamite voice)

Me: hahahahahahahahahaha

Gracey: hahahahahahahahahaha

Gracey (on the swings): We are soooo sugar high!

Me(also on the swings): But you know what the funniest thing is?

Gracey: What?

Me: We're swinging at the SAME TIME! hhahahahahahahaha

Gracey: hahahahahaha

Gracey: Peter Pan has hit puberty

Me, Gracey, and Lizzy: Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!

Brendan: SHUT UP ALREADY!

(All my friends are at my house watching Star Wars with me)

Me (after seeing Obi-Wan stroke his beard): It would be fun to have a beard(strokes imaginary beard)

Everyone else: WHAT!?

James: What the chicken!?

Me: I don't get it :

Me, Gracey, and Maddi: FIND HER SOMEBODY TO LOOOVE! FIND HER SOMEBODY TO LOOOVE! FIND HER SOMEBODY TO LOOOVE (Imitating dancers on Ella Enchanted)

Me: Yeah, I hate it how whenever you say 'I'm hot' now, someone always makes a crude remark about it. It's sooo annoying!

Gracey: Yeah, I know!

Me: the reason why is because it's not like back in the eighties. You just don't hear boys say 'That girl is soo nice to look at!' anymore.

Gracey: hahahaha

(Me, Tessa, and Gracey are all at my house playing with my karaoke machine)

Me and Tessa: Booooot-strap Biiiil! Booot-Strap Biiiil!

Gracey: Boot! Boot! Helllo Poppit!

Me and Tessa: Boooot-Strap Biiiil! Boot-Strap Biiil!

Gracey: Boot! Boot! Boot! HELLO POPPIT!

(that's our rap song =P)

Tessa: Frightning images! It says frightning images!! (upon reading what Harry Potter and GoF was rated for)

Me: hahahah

Me: I'm Irish! Are you Irish? (says in an Irish accent)

My Mom: Se!

Me: (stares blankly at her) That's not Irish

Me: Yeah, he has a really deep voice (talking about a kid who was in SAT's with me)

Mom: He's older than you?

Me: Yeah...he's always been older than me

Mom: hahahahahaha!

Mom: I can't believe Papa gave paid you 25 dollars an hour!

Me: He didn't pay me for 25 dollars an hour! He only paid me 25 dollars for ONE hour...oh wait a minute...

Mom: You're such a dork

Me: Geez, I wonder who I get it from! hahahaha

Me: If this is what a rootbeer float does to us, imagine what beer would do to us! We'd be bouncing off the walls!

Gracey: It's a good thing we don't drink

Me (upon looking at a window chime): That lady has a big butt!

Gracey and my brother: WHERE!? (both look up on the roof)

Me: I meant the chimes...:

(Me and Gracey are trying to get rid of my brother and her sister)

Gracey: We have to talk about something really boring! Like free enterprise!

Me: Oh! I know all about free enterprise! It's when these people sell something for lots of money and buy expensive brick houses! I read all about it in history (trying to sound knowledgeable)

Gracey: Oh yes, I understand!

Me: yeah, they buy expensive bricks...hey look! An airplane!

Gracey: Squirrel!

Kayla: Squirrel!

Me: (giggle giggle) (sputter sputter) (laugh) SQUIRREL!

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAAHA

(In church)

Kayla: Remember, Jenniffer! Squirrel?

Jenniffer: Yeah, that was so funny!

Me and Gracey: Squirrel?

Craig: Dog! Rabbit! Bird! DONKEY!

Me, Gracey, Jennffer, and Kayla: Oooook.

Me, Gracey, and Kayla: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Remember that MyScene doll named River? I thought that was SUCH a stupid name!

Gracey: I liked it...

Me: That's like naming your kid Plateu, or Rock, or Flower!

Gracey: hahaha

Me: Or Rosebush!

Both of us: HAHAHAHAHA

(Everyone is talking loudly in the car)

Tessa: HEY EVERYONE!

Me and Gracey: What?

Tessa: Let's talk about our noses!

Me and Gracey: (blank stare)

Tessa: Da queeen of Narnia! (says in extremely squeaky voice)

Gracey(upon looking in the back of my trunk where my mom put my B-day presents): Omgosh! You didn't tell me you had the Pirates of the Carribbean c.d.!!

Me: Gracey, that's where my mom put my presents...

Gracey: (awkward silence)...oh, never mind! It was just something that LOOKED like the Pirates c.d.\

Gracey: Wow, this is really sweet meatloaf!

Me: (looks back at the food table) We have meatloaf over there?

Gracey: Yeah, it's really sweet!

Me: (Looks at Gracey's plate) That would be banana bread...

Gracey: OOOOOOH!!

(We were working at a jewlery place where a whole bunch of 'snooties' ,as we called them, were)

Gracey: Yeah, those snooties think they're so much better than us lowlanders.

My mom: Lowlanders? Don't you mean lowlife? (My mom and Gracey's mom start to laugh EXTREMELY hard)

Gracey: I don't get it!

Two Moms: It's supposed to be 'lowlife!'

Gracey: Oh!

Me and Gracey's catchphrase: Us lowland security guards!

(If you want a story behind that one, just PM me and ask =D)

Another catchphrase: Those darn tourists

My dad: Those are were the rich people live. We're just the peons.

Me: What's a peon?

My Dad: a pee-on...

Me: Dad!

Both of us: Hahaha!

Me: The Belalalalalala-gio! The Belalalalalala-gio!

Gracey: Nice! haha

Gracey: I just wish I knew how I got banned from vmk.

Me: I'll bet you your little sister did it!

Gracey: Yeah in the short time I walked away for a drink she got on there and said: (proceeds to quote her full name, address, phone number, city and state...all in a little kids voice and at high speed)

Me: (Laugh hysterically in the background)

Gracey: And then she hid under the desk so I couldn't find her!

Gracey: I love Napoleon Dynamite

Me: I've never seen it except for once!

Both of us: hahahaha!

Gracey: Can panda's run fast?

Me: I don't know they're kinda fat...

Me (going delirious due to the time of night): Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forrest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head!

Gracey: What?

Me (in high pitched voice): Then down came the good fairy, and she said: Little Bunny Foo Foo I don't want to see you, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head!

Gracey:...

Me: (does the same thing four more times)

Tessa's Mom: Well there's lots of things you can eat for dinner...sandwich's, ham and cheese, pizza...

Tessa: I don't want pizza, I just ate it for lunch!

Tessa's Mom: Well, what do you want??

Tessa (pause): Can we order pizza!?

After being in Disneyland for the whole day...

Gracey: Man! I asked like ten people today if they liked their jobs!

Tessa:Whatever! Like WAY more than that!

Gracey: Ok...eleven.

(Me, Tessa, tessa's mom and Tessa's grandma laugh hyterically)

(Ok, so me and Gracey were EXTREMELY bored one night at my house and got the idea to play with my two Anastasia Dolls...in high pitched very girly voices)

Gracey(Anastasia 1): Your feet are like SO huge!

Me: (Anastasia 2): Like what?...a boot?

(Later)

Gracey(A.1): Oh my Gosh!! Where did you get that dress??

Me(A. 2): My birthday!

(Later)

(We are playing when my dad walks in)

Dad: What are you guys doing?

Me (still in squeaky voice): Playing barbies!

Gracey(still in squeaky voice): Did someone forget to...(coughs and goes back to normal voice)...Did someone forget to leave their barbie voice at home?

Me(after watching my friend Jacob catch a rattlesnake): And to think, Jacob, you could have died that day!

Jacob: It would be so cool to die from a rattlesnake bite!

Me: Dude, you'd be dead!

Jacob: Yeah, but like you'd be in the hospital and everyone would know about it!

(This kid has issues =D)

Brendan: Hi! I'm your local gay guy!

Wally(on the phone):...

Brendan: He hung up on me!

Wally (huffily, to Madison): I hope you fall in the creek.

(Madison slips on a wet rock and almost falls in)

Wally (grabbing her arm so she doesn't fall in): I'm sorry!

Me: Just face it, you don't have a bad bone in your body!

Wally: I do too!

(proceeds to pretend to tip my chair over) (my chair starts really falling over)

Wally(grabbing the chair so it doesn't fall over): I'm sorry!

Me(laughing): I told you!

(We are sitting at the table at Noel's house and after for talking like thirty minutes straight, there is silence)

Gracey:...Abraham Lincoln.

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

Noel: (stares blankly at us both who are laughing hysterically as we choke on our food) What are you guys laughing at?

Us: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Noel: (still confused)

Us: HAHAHAHAHA

Noel(randomly): Oh my gosh! Kevin just did a guitar solo!!

Me and Gracey (exchange looks)

Noel: (in dramatic hopeless voice, talking to the internet): Nooo! Don't do this to me now!!

Me(upon watching a ff5 video): Man, they have better tin foil hats than us!

Gracey: Yeah, because they had more tin!

(Me and Gracey are watching "Appologize" by One Republic)

Me: That guy looks like a girl...

Gracey: That's because it IS a girl!

Me: But she has a boy voice!

Gracey: She's not the one singing!

Me: Than why are her lips moving??

Gracey: She's reading a letter!

Me: Oh...so...she got a letter from her boyfriend because she broke up with him?

Gracey(exasperatedly): Noooo, he broke up with her!

Me: Than why does he have to appologize?

Gracey: Because it's too late to appologize and she wants to say sorry!

Me: So...she broke up with him?

(this goes on for several minutes)

Gracey: You do NOT understand the art of music videos!!

Gracey: Isn't this an awesome picture?

Me: Yeah.

Gracey: It'd be cool if Jen did a picture like that

Me: Yeah, except with a person in it.

Gracey: (blank stare)

Me: What picture?

(Noel is watching a Jonas Brothers music video on youtube. Afterwards she is trying to think of what to comment about it)

Noel: I want to say something nice about Kevin!

Gracey: say..."I want Nick for Christmas!!"

Noel: (after a pause) You mean...Kevin?

Gracey: Same difference...

Gracey(still trying to think of what to say about Kevin on youtube): He's a hottie-pot-potty!

(Me and Gracey have made tinfoil hats out of...tinfoil. We are biking around the neighborhood)

Random Person: So...what are the tinfoil hats for?

Me and Gracey: To protect our minds from the aliens!!

(We got asked this question like three times!)

Madison: Hey guys! Let's order some shakes! (we are all still bike riding with our tinfoil hats on)

Me: Where exactly are we going to do that?

Madison: Not for real, silly! For pretend!

Me: Oh, okay.

(Me, Madison, Cole, and Gracey all bike ride over to a mailbox.)

Madison: Hello, we want...what flavor do you guys want?

(We all proceed to tell the mailbox what kind of shakes we want.)

Me (to Gracey): Can you imagine what we look like right now? Four kids wearing tin foil hats talking to a mailbox...

Me and Gracey: HAHAHAHA

Gracey: Do you know how to take temperature?

Me: I don't know...maybe.

(I feel my forehead and then feel Gracey's)

Me: You feel really hot!

Gracey: Noel, do YOU know how to take temperature? I think I trust you more than her...

(I pretend to be upset)

Noel (after feeling Gracey's forehead): You feel normal-

Me: But she's hot!

Noel: Well, that's because there's no air circulation in here.

Me: There's no air circulation in my brain!?

(Me and Gracey are watching Hannah Montanna and Billy Ray Cirus is listening to Miley through an air duct. After we hear him scream fakely I say...)

Me: I bet he didn't really fall off the roof.

Gracey (starts laughing): He wasn't even ON the roof!

Me: He wasn't!?

Gracey: No, he was in the other room listening through the air duct!

(we both start laughing hysterically)

(Me and Gracey are on the subject of who is going to be going camping with us.)

Gracey: I hope Wally will come.

Me: (blank stare) Who?

Gracey: You know! Mrs. R's nephew!

Me: You mean Dylan?

Gracey: OH! Yeah!

(We both start laughing really hard. After a few minutes...)

Me: Where the heck do you get "Wally" out of "Dylan?"

Gracey: They both have two L's I guess...

Me: No they don't! Dylan is spelled: D-Y-L-A-N!!

(We start laughing again)

(Gracey wants to buy something at a gas station that we stopped at on the way to camping)

My mom: Do you have your money?

Gracey: Oh no! Dang it I forgot it in the car. Can I go get it?

My mom: sure

(Me and Gracey walk back out to my uncle's truck, she grabs her bag and starts looking through it)

(After five minutes)

Gracey: Okay, here's my cell phone!

Me: Where's your money?

Gracey (unconernedly): It's in my pocket.

Me: You mean we came out here for nothing??

(we both start laughing really hard because she had her money in her pocket all along...)

(Me and Gracey were still in the gas station and there was this shirt on a girl manikin with a lion head on the manikin.)

(Me and Gracey stare at it for a minute)

Me(quietly): He's got lion boobs.

Both of us: HAHAHAHA

(Me, Jacob, and Gracey are all waiting in line for a ride at a Harvest Festival)

Me: It's almost our turn! It's almost our turn!

(Pause)

Me: I want a hotdog!

Jacob: That is the most random thing I've ever heard.

(we all start laughing for like 10 minutes straight.)

Gracey: At first I thought you said: I'm a hotdog!

(we all start laughing again)

Me (upon seeing a huge colomn of smoke): Is that a barbeque!?

(Me, Jacob, and Gracey are walking around the harvest festival when we saw a cell phone laying on the ground)

Me: You think we should pick it up?

Gracey (sugar high): NO! HAHA

Me: Jacob, go pick it up!

(Jacob goes to pick it up and starts walking towards us when he screams...)

Jacob: IT'S RINGING!! AHH!!

(He runs back to the exact spot he picked it up, put it back down, and ran back over to us. Me and Gracey are laughing HYSTERICALLY.)

Both of us: That was priceless.

Jacob (huffy): I can't believe you're making me ride in a heart with Salleem...

(Me, Jacob, Cole, Elias, and Salleem are walking around looking for my parents.)

Jacob: I got two pieces of candy before you dragged me back over here! TWO!

Me: I didn't drag you over here, Noel did!

Jacob: No she didn't. She asked niceley unlike you and Gracey!

(I start laughing)

Random kid #1: Peace! (upon seeing me walk by with my hippie costume on)

Random kid #2: Peace!

Random kid's dad: Peace!

Me: Peace!! Ya'll rock!

(Josiah is telling me about his dream)

Josiah: Okay so my cat was doing really good so I let it go-

Me: Why the heck did you do that!?

Josiah: This is in my dream!

Me: Oh, okay.

(Josiah proceeds to tell me the rest of his dream and I'm not really listening.)

Josiah:...yeah, then he got hit by a semi truck and died.

(I look at him really weird and Jacob and Brendan start cracking up)

(Me and Gracey are in a ferris wheel type deal and it was one of those things where you can turn it over and stuff)

Me: IT'S NOT TURNING OVER!!

Gracey: DON'T TURN IT OVER!! AHHHH!!

Jacob: Hey you guys! We should call Dylan(AKA Wally) and yell SHUNNED! into the phone!

Me and Gracey: Yeah!!

(Me, Gracey, Jacob, and Brendan crowd around my cell phone and wait for Wally to answer.)

Wally: Hello?

All 4 of us: SHUNNED!!

(we hang up and start laughing hysterically as we wait for him to call back)

(phone rings and I answer.)

Me: Hello?

Wally: Who is this??

Me: Cougar, Gracey, Jacob, and Brendan!!

Wally:...oh. Hi!

Wally: Are you guys like really sugar high? Because...ya'll sound really sugar high.

Me: We haven't had any sugar at all except for like one piece of pizza, a bread stick, and two pieces of candy me and Jacob found on the floor!!

Gracey: Brendan, Wally says if you call him emo one more time he's gonna beat you up.

(Pause)

Brendan: EMO!

Gracey(to Wally): You'd better start running, Wally, cuz he just called you emo again...

(Me and Gracey are talking to Wally at camping)

Gracey: Hey, you want to be best friends with us!?

Me: Yeah, do you!?

Wally: (blank stare)

Me: Notice how he has to think carefully about this question...

Gracey: Yeah, I know! haha

(the three of us laugh)

Wally: Sure, I guess!

(Me, Gracey, Wally, Jacob, Cole, and Brendan are inside the trailer. Gracey and Wally are verbally abusing eachothers pictures that Jacob drew)

Gracey: Look at those rolls on your stomach!

Wally: Those aren't rolls! That's a six pack!

Gracey: Whatever!

Wally: Well, look at you! You have no eyes!!

Gracey: Well...look at those noodelely legs!!

(Me and Cole are laughing hysterically in the background)

Jacob (also in the background): Stop! You're crinkling the pictures!

(Wally grabs Gracey's picture and tries to find something else wrong with it. This went on for like twenty minutes)

(Me, Gracey, Jacob, Wally, Brendan, and Cole are trying to see if we can squeeze everyone into a realllly small area)

Gracey: To the trailer!

Wally: Me first!

(we all run into the trailer and jump into the bed that is in there) (After five minutes...)

Gracey: To the chair!

Wally: Me first!

(We all run to a chair and everyone sits on top of everyone...it's a miracle we didn't break it...) (After five minutes...)

Gracey: To the little tent!

Wally: Me first!

(We all run to this tent that is like three feet tall and four feet wide and all dive into it. We zipped it up and stayed in there for like five minutes)

Me: I cannot believe we all fit in here!

Gracey: I know!

(Finally we all got out and I think we actually broke the tent...how sad, too bad=D)

Me or Gracey randomly throughout the night: Chrysanthemum! Please stop! (Family Force 5 rocks our socks!)

(Me and Brendan are talking about his airsoft gun that Gracey accidently broke...except I don't think she really broke it.)

Brendan: I bet Gracey left the church because she didn't want to pay me back.

Me: Yeah, but she left before she broke your airsoft gun!

Brendan: Oh...well still!

(Me and my brother are playing Narnia on Playstation)

Cole: Ah! Black smoke!

Me: Hey look! A car!...Let's kick it!

Kayla: hahaha

(I'm going on and on about how much I hate Biology to my mom)

Me: And you know, I understand that without cells we wouldn't be here right now...and I respect that...but I just don't care!!

My Mom: Yeah, I think I'm going to start getting the Christmas stuff out the first of November.

Me (blank stare): Mom...it's November 8th...

My mom: Already!?

Morgan: Mommy, why are butterflies called that if they don't have any butter in them?

(Me, Craig, and like three other kids are playing tag)

Craig: You can't run in flip-flops!!

(I run after him, tag him, and run away)

Me: Can't run in flip-flops, eh?

Stephanie: What would be really funny is if the pillow fell out of her stomach!

Esther: She'd be like: "Who threw that at me!?"

(a had to be there moment I think...)

Me, Gracey, or Kayla randomly throughout the night: Move that bush!

Gracey: He has funny tattoos...

Me: And he's bald...ish.

My mom: He looks like Mr. Clean!

Elias: Don't talk about that man!!

Gracey: I don't get what's going on in this part (talking about the end of Transformers)

Me: Basically they're trying to get the cube away from Microscoper.

(pause)

Me: Oh wait! His name is Megatron...

(Me, Kayla, Elias, and Cole are playing Apples to Apples. The word is Morgue and Elias puts down "Ancient")

Elias: This card means old! Dead people are old!

Me: But what if they died like yesterday!?

Elias: Well, what if they died of old age?

Me: They wouldn't be old...they'd be new dead people!

(we all start cracking up)

Me: Green and blue makes yellow!

Gracey and Kayla: (blank stare)

Me (telling a scary story including senior citizens taking a sponge bath): "And David came into a room where all the old people were in barrels taking sponge baths-"

Kayla: Barrels?

Me: Yeah! You know...when they fill the barrels up with water and they take spongebaths?

Kayla: Dude...that's not a sponge bath. A spongebath is when people wet them down with sponges...

Me: It IS!? (starts to laugh hysterically) I didn't even KNOW that!!

Me (holding up a cool shirt that belongs to Gracey): This is an awesome shirt!

(pause)

Me: Can I use it to dust off your shelf?

Gracey: NO!

Me: How about this shirt?

Gracey: NO! Here, use this sock!

Me: Okay!

(I take the Spongebob sock and start to dust off the shelf)

Gracey: Don't use his face!!

Me: Sorr-y!

Gracey: The poor sock...he never had a chance =(

(Gracey spills some salsa on the floor) (I hand her the extremely dusty sock)

Me: Here...you can use this.

(we exchange looks)

Both of us: HAHAHAHA

Kayla: Why don't you guys just go get a rag?...

Me: Because that would be boring of course!

Me: Why aren't you guys breeding TinkerBell (Gracey's dog) instead of Sasha (Gracey's other dog)?

Gracey (puts her hand to one side of her mouth so the dogs don't see): Don't tell Tinkerbell, but we think Sasha's prettier...

(later)

Kayla: Why don't you guys use Tinkerbell instead of Sasha?

(Me and Gracey exchange looks)

Both of us: HAHAHAHA

Gracey: Don't tell Tinkerbell but we think Sasha is prettier...

Elias (imitating the song Apologize by Timbaland): It's too late to fall and die!!

Kayla: I used to be obsessed with the song "Wonderful Maker" by Jeremy Camp...for like a whole month!

Me: A whole month, eh?

Kayla: It was last month...

(Buddy is talking in class about getting eaten by worms)

(I turn to Justin and Cain)

Me: My dad's dog got eaten by worms...

(Justin and Cain look at me really weird)

Me:...It was a poodle...

(They exchange looks with eachother and continue staring at me really weird)

Me: (Starts cracking up)

(This is like three years ago)

(Tessa enters the room)

Me: Tessa, I farted!!

(me and Gracey start cracking up)

Tessa: OOOh, a fart...hardy har har.

(Tessa farts really loud)

All three of us: HAHAHAHA

(Gracey is EXTREMELY tired at like 11:30 and is pretty much sleeping soundly until I come over and try to wake her up)

Me: Gracey! Wake up. It's 11:00.

Gracey: I KNOW... I'm hungry.

Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kayla: Where's Cole?

Elias: I think he's in the living room looking at "Artificial Intelligence"...

Me: Haha, I bet he's staring at it and saying: "Maybe...if I stare it at long enough...it'll come to life!!"

(We all start cracking up)

Kayla: Remember! The Sisterhood of Trampling Pants?...oops.

Me (trying to read my Bible): Hey Kayla?

Kayla: Yeah?

Me: You know when Ronda said, "Find a quiet time to read your Bible?"

Kayla: Yeah...

Me: Well...I don't think this is it.

(Me and Kayla are talking about the Island and about how hyper we were when we watched it)

Kayla: And remember when the bad part came on we threw the pillows over our eyes!?

Me: No...what bad part?

Kayla: You know...that bad part with the bad stuff in it?

Me(hyper): Was there good stuff in the bad part?

Me (answering myself): No, Cougar! There's bad stuff in the bad part!

(Me and Gracey are singing Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now")

Me and Gracey: But you were history with the slamming of the door-

Madison: VROOM!

Me and Gracey:...HAHAHAHA

(We start the song over and do this for like ten more times...)

(I am imitating Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model)

Me(in fluffy, lalala, voice): I have five pictures in my hand...but only four of you will be staying!

(Kayla starts laughing and it takes me a while to get the joke...)

Kayla: Did you still want hashbrowns?

Me (In a southern accent): Yes I did!

(we both start laughing)

Me(to the tune of "Peter and John Went to Pray"): Bacon and eggs have I none

Kayla: I only have hashbrowns for one...

Me: They're only for me, you can't have any...SO DON'T EVEN ASK!

Randomly throughout the day: Move that bush!

(It's like 5 in the morning and I'm trying to wake Kayla up)

Me: Kayla! Wake up!

Kayla: Are they here yet?

Me: What?

Kayla: Wait...what are you doing?

Me: Waking you up...

Kayla: Oh...never mind.

(Kayla has written Matt saying: What is this greenery? I can't get through that! Move that bush!)

Kayla: He wrote back and said: What the heck? Kayla what are you talking about!? What greenery!?

Me: Reply and say:The greenery in the bush of course! Now MOVE it!

Kayla: You know how HYPER I would be if I drank this??

Me: I think I'd call 9-1-1

Kayla: Really?

Me: Yeah. I'd be like: Excuse me, my friend just had an over dose! And they'd be like: Of what?? And I'd say: Generic Dr. Pepper! And then they'd say: Okay, we'll be right down. What's your address? And then I'd say: I don't know! I don't live here!!

Kayla: And then they'd say: How're we supposed to find you then? And you'd say: Follow my voice!

(we both start cracking up. If you think real hard you'll get that joke! HAHAHA)

Me (to Kayla's neighbor): Yeah, I'm from England.

Kayla's neighbor, Miranda: Are you serious?? That is so cool!!

(I keep the joke going for a little while and then say)

Me: I'm not really from England...but my name originated from Poland!

(throughout the night...)

Me: Did that originate from Poland?

(or)

Me: Is that Polandish?

(I come out of the house, randomly march up to Miranda's cousin and say...)

Me: Does that coat originate from Poland?

Miranda's cousin: Sure...I guess...

Me: Okay, you're in. You! I like your Santa hat...you're in too. (to Elias)

Miranda: What about me?

Me: Yeah, you're in too.

(I turn to Kayla)

Me: I don't know about you...I'm a little iffy...

Miranda: Are you guys Phillipino?

(Me and Kayla exchange glances)

Me: Ah, no...

(We don't have anything against Phillipinos (in fact my Aunt M is Phillipino) but this is funny because me, Kayla, Cole, and Elias look NOTHING like Phillipinos...)

Cole: Sissy, look at the turkey! (he points to our Thanksgiving Turkey in the sink)

Me: Eww, it looks dead...

(pause as me and my brother contemplate what I just said)

(we both start laughing hysterically)

Jacob: Guess what! I almost died yesterday!

Me: Oh, so since the rattlesnake didn't kill you, you decided to go do something else crazy??

Jacob (laughs): No seriously, listen!

(proceeds to tell me how he almost died...hahaha)

My dad: You killed the Owl Lamp.

My mom: I did not! I just...gave it to a better home!

My dad (quietly): You killed it.

(I start laughing)

My dad: See, I had all these dreams of decorating my first apartment like a jungle. You know, with trees and leaves and rainforrest sounds. That's why I bought the Owl Lamp. And I was telling my girlfriend all this one day when I first got the lamp and then, after I was all done, she says: Al, how many owls do you see in a jungle?

(all of us start cracking up)

Me (to my mom): Yeah, we named Tessa Bacon Bit...

My mom: Well that's rude! Why would you name her Bacon Butt??

Me: Mom! It's Bacon BIT!

(we both start cracking up)

Me (in a retarted voice): Hey, this is Dylan...you know what to do.

(me and Gracey start cracking up) (I do this ever time I hear Wally's answering machine)

(Me and Gracey are trying to think of an ancronym for my brother's name)

Me: Okay...Crumbling...Oatmeal...

Gracey: Licking...

Me: Ice!!

(Gracey gives me a blank stare)

Gracey: Ice?

Me: Yeah, Crumbling Oatmeal Licking Ice. You know? Ice...

Gracey: Cougar...it ends in an "e"...

Me: OH!!

(we both start laughing hysterically)

Me and Gracey to Adam: You need your daily dose of sugar cookies. You need to get hyper!

Adam: I don't get hyper...

Me: Yeah you do! Remember that one night at camp!?

Adam: I was just tired then.

Me(to Gracey): I think he needs his daily dose of milk then...

(Me, Gracey, and Adam are talking about how he lives in a bubble and won't talk to anybody)

Me: Adam...you need to pop your bubble.

(we all start cracking up)

(Me and Gracey overhear Adam's mom talking to my mom about the Soulja boy song)

Me: Ryan knows the Soulja boy dance?!

Adam's mom: Yeah!

Me and Gracey (exchange looks): OOOOH RYAN!!

(we both really hate that song for the record, but we were hyper and wanting to be silly)

(Me, Gracey, and Cole are sitting in Gracey's room)

Me: NO!

(I recieve two blank stares)

Cole: What the heck??

Me: Oh...sorry, I thought mom was talking to me...

(Me, Cole, and Morgan are praying)

Me:...Amen.

Cole: (solemnly) Christmas...oh wait! Oops!

(Both of us start cracking up)

(It's Christmas morning and I punched Cole (PLAYFULLY) because I don't know why)

Cole: Hey! Where's the Christmas joy in THAT!?

(It's Christmas morning and I've gotten myself, Cole, and Morgan up at 3:30 in the morning. We can't wake our parents up until 6:00.)

Me: Do you think I should have waited to wake you guys up?

Cole: No!

Me: But we have to wait for three hours now!!

Cole: What? What time is it?

(he goes to look at a clock)

Cole: Yup. You should have waited to wake us up.

(At church we were playing a gift exchange game and Jacob picked a laundry bag)

Me(afterwards): Jacob, why the heck did you pick the laundry bag of all things!?

Jacob(exasperatedly) I don't know...I thought it was something else! And besides, it's not just ANY laundry bag! It's a BLUE laundry bag and it has the words...

(pauses as he looks at the words on the side)

Jacob: Grimmie on it!

Me: (blank stare)

Jacob: What?

Me: Jacob...that says Grimy...

(we look at eachother for a few seconds before we start laughing hysterically)

Me: Let's go tell Gracey!!

(later)

Gracey: No, it would be "Grimmie" if it had two m's!

(holds up three fingers)

Jacob: I think we should start our own band. The "Grimmie" band! I'll play the guitar...

Me: Gracey and Wally can do the singing...and I'll play the piano!

Jacob: Yeah, yeah!

Me: Dude, everyone's going to be like, "They're pronouncing "GRIMY" wrong...

(I dunno if any of ya'll will get this...PM me and tell me if you did!! Lol, it could have been a "had to be there" moment...I'm not sure. It's not very easy to relate back to it on the internet...)

(Me and Cole are going through my stocking) (I pull out a green, square-ish something on a keychain)

Me: Awesome! I got a toaster keychain!

Cole: Really?

Me: Oh wait...it's a flashlight...

(we both start to laugh extremely hard!)

(Me, Gracey, and Madison stuffed our shirts with pillows and Madison goes downstairs)

Uncle Rodger: Madi, I think you ate too many cookies...

Madi (with a silly giggle): No, I'm pregnant!

(pause)

Uncle Rodger: STEVE!

(Two baby twins are over that our friends from church adopted along with Gracey and Kayla)

Kayla (looking at the twins): You think that they're real brother and sister?

(Me and Gracey exchange looks)

Me: Kayla...they're twins!

Kayla: Oh...

(Later)

Kayla: Who do you think they look more like? They're mom or their dad?

Me: Uh...they're adopted!!

(At church, me, Jacob, Vince, and another girl were on a team and we all had to play foozball against one of our youth pastors for a game)

Vince (starting to get annoyed because me and Jacob aren't doing too hot): Keep it right THERE!

(He moves our sticks into the "proper place")

(Buddy "youth pastor" hits the foozball and me and Jacob both move our sticks and Buddy ends up scoring a point)

Vince: Oh. My. GOSH! Move!

(He takes over Jacob's spot as the goalie, Buddy shoots, and Buddy scores)

Jacob: HAH! Now it's your fault!

(He recieves a death glare)

Jacob: I was just kidding!

(we both start to laugh extremely hard)

Me: Do you realize we're done with school on June 1st!?

Gracey: Oh my gosh! What's today??

Me: (not hearing her right) June.

Gracey: Really?! No, it's not! It's February! No, March! Oh yeah, it's January!

(We both start laughing)

Gracey: What do old cows do?

Me: I dunno...moo?

Gracey: So what are you doing today?

(I proceed to tell her what I'm doing)

Gracey: Cool. I have the pleasure of doing...what am I doing again?

Gracey: Okay. let me tell my story!

(starts to tell the story and then stops halfway thtough) (Blank expression passes over her face)

Gracey: What was I talking about again?

(We are both trying to do school but are getting distracted...)

:Me or Gracey: Valentine's dayyyyy. Valentine's dayyyy. You gotta stop! And smell the roses.

(Me, Gracey, Wally, and Jacob are playing catchphrase and it's Jacob's turn to try and get us to guess the word)

Jacob: Okay, you guys! What's the opposite of ground??

Me and Gracey (at the EXACT same time): Beef!

(Jacob gives us a "Jacob look")

Jacob: Beef?!

Jay: Hey, does anyone have a pocketknife?

Me and Gracey (at the EXACT same time): Me!

Jay: Really?

Me and Gracey (at the EXACT same time): No!

Me: I really want a donut.

Jacob: Me too.

(we walk over to the "donut shop" type deal and peek inside the leftover box.) (There are no donuts left.)

Me and Jacob: Crap.

(Jay, our youth pastor has come up to the snow with us and he was messing around with Gracey)

Me: Jay, you are so rude! (laughs)

Jay: Oh really?

(proceeds to throw me into the snowbank and walks away laughing.)

Me: And to think I call you my youthpastor!

(he starts laughing even harder)

(I said something ditzy and my Uncle Jay hit me on the head with a pillow)

Me: What was that for!?

Uncle Jay: You were being a dork!

(Later)

(My mom and Uncle Jay are talking about trash bags and how bad we needed them. My mom goes shopping and comes back.)

Mom: Jay, guess what I got?

(implying that we got trash bags)

Uncle Jay (with excited look on his face): Chips?

(I hit him on the head with a pillow)

Uncle Jay: What was that for!?

Me: You were being a dork!

(Whenever our dad's are being...umm...critcal.)

Me and Gracey: Critical club!!

(Car tries to get me to listen to the Jonas Brothers)

Gracey: Don't listen to it Cougar! It'll brain wash your brain!

Me: And then I'll be...brainwashed.

(Wally is trying to stick a volleyball pole into a MUCH shorter bag)

Wally: Aww, guys! It's not working!

Me: Maybe your supposed to take it apart first...

Wally: Oh!

(takes the pole apart and it fits perfectly into the bag)

Me(laughing): Guess we know what your true hair color is!

Wally(not getting the joke): It's brown...

Me: (blank stare)

Me: Can I get in line with you guys?

Mrs. R: Of course you can!

Jacob(in pretend shock): Did you see that mom? She just cut in front of you!!

(we're all in the sanctuary watching a movie and being extremely bored)

Me: Are you guys bored?

Jacob and Brendan: Yes!! This is SO boring!

Me: We should do something!

Jacob: Like what?

Me: I dunno...we could play duck, duck, goose...

(pause)

Jacob: Okay, you're not coming up with ideas any more. I'LL do that!

(we both start laughing)

(Me, Jacob, Brendan, Austin, Jordan, Nathaneal, and Josiah are all sitting at a table eating lunch)

Brendan: Alright! Time for me to go get some coffee!

Me: No! Remember what Pastor Mike was saying?! You've come to the crossroad and you should take the right choice and NOT drink the coffee!!

(Brendan laughs and we all move on to a different subject.) (Nathaneal comes back to the table with a cup of coffee)

Nathaneal: Here you go. I got extra sugar too.

Brendan (gives a "Brendan" look/smile): I was only kidding! Thanks!

Me(in the background): The crossroads! Don't drink it, Brendan!

(this kid would have gotten SO hyper if he had drinken that coffee)

(No one pays attention to me and Brendan starts pouring the sugar in and while he is trying to open another sugar pack...)

Me(to Austin): You think I should throw this in his cup?

Austin: Yeah! You're gonna miss though...

(I roll a piece of bread, aim for the coffee cup, and SCORE!)

(EVERYBODY at the table starts laughing HYSTERICALLY)

Me: Oh my gosh, did I make it!?

Nathaneal: I think it bounced out!

Me: No, I think I made it! (I turn to Austin) Hah! And you didn't think I could!

Brendan: What...hey...Hey! I was going to drink that!! What did you...I was going to drink that!

Me: I'm sorry! Austin told me I wasn't going to make it so I had to try!

Brendan: I was going to drink that!

Nathaneal: Just grab it out.

Brendan: NO! That looks disgusting!

Me: Give it here...

(Me and Jennifer spend like five minutes trying to get it out with Jacob's fork and Jennifer succeeds and the soggy piece of bread lands on my plate)

Me: Eew!!

(I fling the piece of bread onto Austin's plate and he gives the same reaction.)

Me: I'm sorry! But you weren't eating anymore!

(Austin is putting his napkin, juice box, and fork over top of the five centimeter long piece of bread)

Austin: That's disgusting. I can't look at that!

Me: I'm sorry!

(we spend five minutes laughing and talking and giving the coffee cup back to Brendan. RIGHT as he's about to drink it, his mom comes over)

Mrs. R: What are you guys doing?

Brendan(in an "obviously I'm lying" voice: Nothing...

Mrs. R: Brendan, what is that?

(she peeks into the cup and then grabs the coffee away)

Mrs R: You know better than that!

(everybody except for Brendan starts laughing)

Gracey(to my little sister): You take showers by yourself now?

Morgan: Yup!

Gracey: Lucky...

Me and Morgan: What!?

Gracey: Oh wait! That's not what I meant!

Gracey: We're like two pods in a pea!

(Me and Kayla prank call Greg)

Kayla(in Mexican accent): This is Mexican Cornut!

Greg: Okay. Umm. I...have to go to the grocery store. I'll call you back.

(We're in class playing something like Taboo)

The opposite team: Oh! Oh! Sleeping Beauty!

Kayla: It sounds like he said Sleeping Booty!

(Me and Jacob start cracking up)

Me(upon seeing the name written across Greg's shirt): Hey! Hurley...that's the name of the guy on Lost!

Greg: What?

Me: You know...Lost? The big fat guy's name is Hurley!

Greg: Are you calling me fat!?

Me: NO!

(Kayla starts laughing)

(Lannae knocks something out of Jacob's hand that was in a Biology classroom. It breaks)

Buddy: Are you guys going to stop breaking stuff and sit down?

Jacob: She knocked it out of my hand!

Me: Nice going Jacob! All the chemicals in that thing are vaporing out and now we're all gonna die!

Jacob(laughs): I didn't mean to break it! What is it anyways?

Me: I don't know...but we're all gonna die now and it's all your fault!

(we all start laughing)

Me: Jacob! Have you ever...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...have you ever...HAHAHAHA

Jacob: Maybe you should wait until you stop laughing...

Me: Okay! (breathes deeply) Okay! Have you ever been like really hungry and then really scared and then you get really hyper?

Jacob: Oh.,..I think so!

Me: Well, that's how I feel now!

Jacob: Yeah, and he's like all talking in a little kid voice and he's like a teenager...

Me: Hey! Sounds like you!

Jacob(starts to laugh and then pauses):...HEY!

(Uncle Jay is over to watch Lost and the new episode ends)

Uncle Jay(hitting the chair he's sitting at): Aww! NO! NO! NO! NO! It's like this every week! You have to wait to see what's going on and then it tells you but then it ends right as something else is going on! NO! NO! NO!

(I start laughing)

Me: If I ever name my kid Bob, slap me please.

(Kayla starts laughing)

Kayla: It sounded like you said that as a name! Like, Mr. Bob Slapmeplease!

(we both collapse in a fit of giggles)

(Me, Gracey, and Tessa are all up inside a McDonald's playplace and laughing hysterically in the tubes.)

Random Little Girl Number 1: AH! There are grownups in here!! There are Grown ups in here!

Tessa: I'm not a grown up.

Me: Me neither! I'm five!

Gracey (in the background): I'm six! I'm six!

Random Little Girl Number 1: You are not. (giggles)

(We all are laughing hysterically)

(Later)

Mean Random Girl Number two: You guys aren't supposed to be in here.

Tessa and Gracey: Yeah we are!

Mean Radnom Girl Number Two: No, you're not. The playground is for kids twelve and under.

All of us: We ARE twelve!

(we start laughing really hard)

Mean Random Girl Number Two: You are not. You're like seventeen.

(she crawls off)

Tessa (shouts after her): I'm gonna tell your mommy!!

Jacob: Grimmie!

Me: Yeah! You totally need to bring your guitar up to the snow...

Jacob: We need Grimmie to stand for something. Like a code...

(We're talking about how Brendan models for Levi Jeans)

Jacob: Yeah, I wanted to model but they only want kids with size twelve jeans. Ugh.

Me: You're just too fat to be a model, Jacob.

(we both start laughing)

Mrs. R (to my mom): Yeah, they were there and said Brendan was a really cute kid...

Brendan(in the background): It's the dimples! It's the dimples!

Cole: Remember when you couldn't remember what 1 - 0 was??

Me: No! It was 1 - 1!

Cole: Oh yeah! That was so funny!

Me: It's a hard question! But I know the answer now. It's 1 right?

(pause)

(Cole starts laughing HYSTERICALLY)

Brendan: Yesterday we were all playing basketball on a wave!

Me: A wave?

Jacob: Yeah, you know those skateboarding things..

Me: Oh yeah! Well, who won?

Brendan (In a "duh" voice): Me!

Jacob: ONLY by a few points.

Brendan: I had fifteen points and you had four!

Jacob: No! I had FIVE. You only won by TEN points.

(we all start laughing)

(Me and Gracey are watching Jurrasic Park)

(Main character sees a dinasour and is just staring at it)

Me: You'd think they'd be like flipping out instead of just standing there. If it was me, I'd be like: "Oh my gosh! I thought they were extinct!"

(we both start cracking up)

Gracey: Remember the first time we called Wally when we got back from camping? We were like: "Wally!" and he was like...

(she stands there blankly)

Gracey: What were our names again?

Jacob: Okay, now put your front foot on the board and then move your back foot like your dancing...

Me: It takes trust on my part to do that...I can't do that!

(I try to ride the wave skateboard and get no more than...nowhere)

Jacob: No! You have to build momentum!!

Me: I can't!

Jacob: Do you need a demonstration again?

(Jacob is drawing a logo for the Grimmy band and it has a skull on it)

Me: I don't know if I'm going to be able to join this band...

Jacob: Why not!?

Me: Because it has skulls in it!

Jacob and Nathan: What's wrong with skulls? Skulls are awesome!

Me: I know...but my MOM doesn't like skulls.

Jacob: I'm wearing a skull right now. Look! (shows me his shirt)

(pause)

Me: I can't hang out with you anymore, Jacob.

Jacob: What? Shut up!

(Me and Gracey are sitting in a tree at a park and two people walk by)

Me: You think if I fell out of this tree and landed they would say, "Hey look! A dead girl!"

(we both start cracking up)

(Mrs. A is in a lane on the freeway made for cars with two or more people in them)

Me: That's a really cool idea!

Gracey: What is?

(we explain to her what it is)

Gracey: Awesome! We should drive on it!

Me: ...we ARE driving on it...

Me: Finders Keepers, Losers weepers! You know...I don't really think that statement is true.

Gracey: Why not?

Me: Because...what if a robber came and "found" something in your house? That just wouldn't be cool.

Me(holding up a Titanic cd): Did you guys steal this from me!?

Maddy: I think Gracey might have.

Me: That's so lame.

(we were messing around...)

(Phone rings)

Maddy(distantly): I'll get it!!

(me and Gracey go on randomly talking or whatever)

(Maddy appears at the stairs)

Maddy: Mom! It's Orlando Florida!!

Mrs. A: Who?

Maddy: It's Orlando Florida! I think it's a recording...

Me: Well, say: Hello, who is this?

Maddy(in a scared sounding voice): Who is this??

(Me and Gracey start cracking up)

Me: No! Say, May I ask who is calling?

Maddy: They're gone!

(we all start laughing again)

Nathaneal: Cougar...you remind me of...a banana.

Me: A banana!?

Nathaneal: Yeah.

Me: But I don't even LIKE bananas!!

Nathaneal: So?

Me: I'm not a banana!

(Jacob starts laughing really hard)

(A while later)

Nathaneal: We should all be muffins. You can be banana nut...

Me: I'm not a banana!!

(randomly throughout the night...)

Me: I'm not a banana!

(causes Jacob and me to laugh super hard)

Car: I finally know who Chuck Norris is!!

Me: Darn you!!

Elias(upon watching A Haunting): Are you scared Kayla? I'm excited!

(I start cracking up)

Me: Hey guys! Let's go swing on the swings!

Jacob: No!

Kayla: Psh. Swings are for babies.

Me: Well...Babies are for swings!

Gracey: I want jelly...from a jar!

Me: From a jar, eh?

(we both start laughing)

(Later)

Gracey(trying to quote herself on IM): Remember? I want jelly...from a jam!

(we’re at McDonald’s…again. And, as you know, I’m slightly too big for the playground)

Me: Okay, guys. If anybody asks I’m your sister, I’m mentally retarded and can’t read. Got it?

(Morgan and Cole nod dutifully)

(We go about playing and me and Cole are hiding from Morgan)

(At a distance I hear her say…)

Morgan: Hey! Have you seen my sister? She’s (says my age), mentally retarded, and can’t read!

Random little girl: No…

(I catch up with Morgan)

Me: Morgan! You only say that when people ASK!

(I tell my mom this story and we all start cracking up)

(Cole is looking at an illusion book. The illusion has tiny little squares with colored dots. REAL colored dots, not illusional dots.)

Cole(kind of freaking out): Sissy! I…I don’t know if these are real or not! I…I can’t tell!!

Me:…they’re real…

Cole: Are you sure!?

Cole(thinking he’s gonna get me with a joke): Okay, sissy. Say, “Cow” ten times.

Me(playing along): Cow, cow, cow…

Cole: Okay. Now say it ten more times.

Me: Cow, cow, cow…

Cole(with a smile): Alright. Now…what do-

Me: Cows drink milk.

(Cole stops smiling)

Me: You weren’t even saying it right…It’s supposed to be silk

Me: So who did you have a crush on?

Cole: Chandler's cousin...I was like four and was like, "She's so pretty!"

(we laugh)

Me: Did you ever have a crush on Madison??

Cole: No!

Me: If you tell me, I'll tell you who I like!

Cole: Who do you like?

Me: Well...actually I don't like anyone right now.

Morgan: Yes you do! Jaden, remember??

Me: Oh yeah!

Cole: No...more like Jacob!

Morgan: Sarah's in love with Jacob!

(my dad walks in just as I say...)

Me: I am NOT in love with Jacob!

(pause)

Dad: You're in love with Jacob!?

Me: NO!

(we all start laughing)\

Brendan: I used to think Resses Puffs were called Racist Puffs because they’re all like black and brown and stuff.

(we all laugh)

(Randomly throughout the day…)

Me or Brendan: Racist Puffs! Racist Puffs!

(I tried teaching Brendan and Jacob how to play a simple clapping game….the results were humorous….)

Me: Man! You guys aren’t very good at this!

Jacob: This is why guys aren’t supposed to play this type of stuff!

(after a while of nonstop, clapping…)

Me: Brendan! Jacob’s beating your record!

(then we messed up.)

Mrs. R: Jacob! Come over here and keep your eyes on the door!

Jacob(cautious): Why?

Mrs. R: Just watch. To warn you, you might be scarred for life…

Mrs. M: Yeah. You’re going to have nightmares about this for the rest of your life.

Jacob: Great…

(we all watch the door expectantly and then…Jacob’s dad comes out in a skin tight, ladies small, dance suit thing)

Jacob: Oh GOSH…

(everyone starts laughing as us kids try not to look at Jacob’s dad who is walking around and selling things to the people at the yard sale.)

Me: We should play hide and seek now…

Jacob: YES. Anything to get away from here…

Me: Oh my gosh! You know what we should do when Wally gets back!?

(Gracey starts laughing because she knows what I'm going to say)

Me: We should talk to him in Texas accents!

Gracey: That would be SO funny! It'd be like, "Hay, Wally! We've been practicing so we can communicate better!

(after laughing for several minutes...)

Me: You know he'd beat us up if we did that...if we did it last year he wouldn't be able to because we didn't know him long enough.

Gracey: Yeah, you can't beat someone up if you've only known em for four days...

(we start laughing again)

(Me and Kayla are doing our hair in her bathroom)

Me: I'll be right back...

(I walk two feet away to the shower)

Kayla: You're going to the shower...why did you say I'll be right back??

Me: Uh...I don't know!

Kayla: Hurry up and take your stupid shower!

Me: I don't want to!

Kayla: Go!

Me: I don't want to!

Kayla: Oh yeah! You have to see this one part in the new Ryan Sheckler episode!

(pause)

Me: OKAY! I've gotta go take a shower!

Kayla: Shut up!

Jacob: You're acting like a fifth grader!

Me: No. I took a true age test! I'm NINE. What grade does that make me in?

(Pause as we do the math...)

Me and Jacob contemplating: So what? Like third grade? Yeah, yeah...

Jacob: So yeah! You're such a third grader!

Me: Well, that makes you a second grader!

Brendan: Does that make me a K-5er??

(I'm talking to my friend Matt on the phone)

(in the background...)

Matt's dad: What're you doing?

Matt: Talking on the phone.

Matt's dad: To who?

Matt: My friend...

Matt: Who is it?

Matt: Someone from school.

Matt's dad: What's their name?

Matt: Cougar...

Matt's dad: OOOOOH! A girl!! You're talking to a giiiirl!!

(We both start laughing)

(Me and my mom are looking at her friend's daughter's boyfriend)

Me: I like his hair...

My mom: I like his hat.

Me: I like his hair, hat, and glasses!

My mom: I thought you were more the blonde haired, surfer, skater, flippy haired type.

(she gives me an evil smile)

(I glare at her)

Me: Where you goin with that?

(insiderish joke!)

(I’m having a heart to heart discussion about an issue I was having with Gracey on fourth of July)

Me: Okay. And THEN they didn’t even talk to me the entire time I was….Hey, look! Illegal fireworks!

(I look out the window in amazement)

Gracey: That was SO random, I love it!

(Me, Gracey, Cole, and Maddi are all sitting on the couch and decide to start saying Gracey’s cousins’ name in weird whispery voices)

All of us: James. James. James. James. James. James. James. James.

James: What!?

(we start laughing and then decide to do it to Gracey’s dad)

All of us: Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve.

(we stop for a moment to start talking about something…)

Mr. Gracey’s dad: I knew if I waited them out long enough they’d give up.

Gracey: He obviously doesn’t know us very well….

My dad: So. Did you guys have fun tonight?

Me: Yeah, it was lots of fun.

My dad: Did you do the Cougar and Gracey thing?

Me: What’s that?

My dad: Act goofy?

Me: Of course!

Brendan(to someone he thought was Tovia): Is your boyfriend on that ride?

Random girl: What!?

Brendan: Oops.

(later)

Brendan: I should go up to her again and ask if I can take her picture and sell it on eBay!

Me: Yes! I double dog dare you to!

Brendan: For how much?

Me: I don’t have any money…

Brendan: Okay. You have to buy me a smoothie.

Me: Deal.

Brendan: So…to her?

Me: No. We already did something to her. I’ll find a girl….

(I spend the rest of the day at the amusement park place looking for a girl!)

(For my Aunt’s wedding, they had a picture of her and a picture of the guy she was marrying when they were like ten)

(I’m sitting there, staring at it and all of a sudden…)

Me: OH! That’s JEREMEY!

My mom: What!?

Me: I just realized that that kid was Jeremy!

My mom: Oh my gosh, you’re kidding.

Me(sheepishly): I am a blonde…

Jacob: These are the little blonde kids we were telling you about.

(He gestures towards two little blonde headed kids.)

Me: Hi, blonde kids!

(they stare blankly at me)

Me: They’re not very NICE blonde kids….

(I’m talking to Craig on the phone)

Me: So what are you doing?

Craig: Washing silverware.

Me: Eew! I hate washing silverware! Is your guyses dishwasher broken?

Craig: Yeah….

Me: Mine too! Let’s be friends!

Craig: We ARE friends…

Me: I know…

Craig: You’re a dork.

Me: This is why we’re friends.

(really annoying kiddie songs are playing from Craig’s car and he’s singing along to every single one of them. When he starts dancing…)

Me: Remind me again why we’re friends?

(He laughs and later on the “Little Bunny Foo Foo song comes on.)

Me: Little Bunny Foo Foo!!

(I start singing along to it)

Craig: THIS is why we’re friends!

(I see Chuck and I go give him a hug. He returns it and gives Kayla a hug too)

Chuck (to Tovia): I can’t give you a hug yet because I don’t know who you are.

Tovia: I’m Tovia.

Chuck: Hi, Tovia. I’m Chuck…short for Chuck.

(we all laugh)

Jacob: Have you seen Iron Man yet!? (he asks me this like every week)

Me: Oh. My. Gosh. I went to Arizona and we were at the movie theater. AT the movie theater!

And guess what.

Jacob: You saw it!

Me: We were AT THE MOVIE THEATER…and we DIDN’T see it!

Jacob: AGH! You LOSER! Okay. When you come over, we have to go take you to see it!

Me: Yes!

(Gracey picks up a stick)

Me: Let me see it!

Gracey: No. Wait. Wait. Wait. Watch!

(pause as she puts the stick on her forehead.)

Gracey(with a funny smile): I'm a unicorn!

(we both start laughing)

(me and Gracey are talking about how ugly we thought we were last year.)

Gracey: I was ugly too!

Me: Not as ugly as me!!

Gracey: Shut up!

Me: No, seriously. I should get the GRAND prize for ugliest child camping...

Gracey: Cougar!!

(me and gracey talking about how Gracey got her warts burned off...)

Me: why did you get your warts burned off anyways?

Gracey: I don't know...because they were ugly...

Me: Gracey! Your warts make you special! -says in high kid show host voice-

Gracey: ...and they love me very much! -doing the same kid show host impression-

(all you lovers of Veggie Tales should get this joke...)

(Me and Gracey are watching a commercial about how everything at Office Max is only a penny...)

(several seconds after the commercial is over)

Gracey(after thinking very hard): So...if you bought a hundred things...you'd only spend a dollar!

Me:...

(After seeing an add on Myspace for Jolie-Pitt...)

Gracey: What an awful last name for a kid...

Me: What? Pitt?

Gracey:...yeah.

Me: ...they should name their kid Arm.

(several seconds later...)

Gracey: ...oh! I just got it! eww!

Me: ...

(I'm putting a bowl of milk in the sink when all the milk falls off onto Gracey's foot)

Gracey: Ah! Oh my gosh! There's milk all over my foot! Ah!

Me: Oops...

(Later on...I'm washing off the counters with Clorox bleach spray and see Gracey stick her face under the faucet. I'm somewhat dumbstruck...)

Me: ...what the heck?

Gracey: ...I thought that you got the spray on my cheek and I didn't want it to burn...so I stuck my head under the faucet to get it off...

Me: ...

(Me and Gracey are playing "Would You Rather" at the water park)

Me: Would you rather marry a hobo or a hillbilly?

Gracey: What!? ...a hillbilly.

(Me and Wally are running out of things to talk about...)

Me: Oh! Oh! Let me ask you something my sister asked me. Would you rather get crushed by a quad or fall off a cliff?

Wally: Uh...probably fall off a cliff...

(we laugh and then stop talking again)

Me: Wanna hear what my uncle asked us?

Wally: Sure...

Me: Would you rather slide down a rail of razor blades and land into a vat of salt water OR would you rather have your intestines ripped out of you, strung around a yard, and watch them get eaten?

(a LONG pause)

Wally:...You have a sick uncle!

(Me and Gracey are talking about Heath Ledger)

Gracey: I felt really bad that he DIED.

(I start laughing really hard)

Gracey: What!?

Me: The way you said that was hilarious!

(Remember those two little blonde kids? Well, they came camping and they look EXACTLY alike)

Me: So what’s your name?

Huntington: Huntington.

Me: Nice to meet you! I’m Cougar!

(later)

Me: Hi….uhm…you’re Huntington, right?

Huntington: Yup!

(later)

Me: Hey…uhm…Huntington? Right?

Huntington: Yup!

(later)

Me: You’re Huntington, right?

Huntington: Yup!

Me: You realize that I’m going to keep asking you this for the entire time we’re camping, right?

Huntington(smiles cutely and laughs): Yup!

Me: Have you realized that in all the old movies the guy always has the same name of George?

My parents: Really?

Me: Yeah. They’re always like: George! George! George! And then the girl’s name is always Mary.

My mom: Yeah, I guess you’re right!

Me: It’s worse than Jack and Rose….

(Me and my dad are running down a bunch of flights of stairs in a hotel. We decide that this is a perfect time to reenact Titanic since the stairs looked like something out of that movie…)

Me: Jack!

My dad: Rose!

Me: Jack!

My dad: Rose!

(This goes on the full eight flights of stairs until we burst through the door and into the parking garage where we find…)

Mr. Gracey’s dad and Gracey: (blank stare)

(me and my dad start laughing hysterically)

Mr. Gracey’s dad: All we could hear was: Jack! Rose! Jack! Rose! For like five minutes…

(everyone starts cracking up)

(I come home and press play on the answering machine of our phone)

Jacob: Hola, Cougar…it’s Jacob! And…we’re at Cancun so be jealous! Hah!

(I start laughing)

(later on that night I’m talking to Wally)

Me: Tell Jacob that I was depressed for the entire day because of that message.

Wally: He was only kidding!

Me: I know!

Me: Do you know what Sam’s Club is?

Wally: Pfft! Yes! Geez…you act like I’m some kind of foreigner!

Me: Well…I didn’t know if they had Sam’s Club in Texas!

(he makes some crack about Texans)

Me: Have you ever been to Whataburger?

Wally:…….Okay. Now I’m really mad.

Me: Why!?

Wally: What kind of a question is that!?

Me: Well…they don’t have a Whataburger here!

Wally: Are you kidding me!?

Me: Kayla is too scared to say hi to you.

Wally: Why?

Me: (Kidding) I dunno…cuz you’re from Texas

Wally: Oh yeah. Cuz we Texans are just soooo scary (says in Texas accent)

Wally(about his girlfriend): Yeah, she got sick at (says some theme park that sounded a LOT like Cinabun)

Me: Oh…yeah, I like that place. (thinking that he said Cinabun)

Wally: You’ve been there?

Me: Yeeees….oh wait. You said Cinabun, right?

Wally: What?

Me: Cinabun?

Wally(starts laughing REALLY hard): NO! NOT Cinabun! (to Jacob and Brendan in the background)Guys…she thought I said Cinabun!

(Jacob gets on the phone)

Jacob(exasperatedly): Cinabun, Cougar? Cinabun?? Honestly…

Me(in between giggles): Well! I thought that’s what he said!

(Me and Wally and Jacob are all sitting around the campfire going delirious due to lack of sleep and too many marshmellows)

Wally: Baaaah!

Me: Baaaaah!

Jacob: Baaaah!

(this goes on for several minutes before…)

Me: I bet we can do good cow impressions too…Moooo

Wally: Mooo!

Jacob: Mooo!

Me: Man…we must be really sleep deprived. We’re sitting around a campfire making sheep and cow noises.

Wally(starts laughing really hard): Sheep noises? We were making goat noises!

Me: No we weren’t!

Wally: Yeah, we were!

Jacob: Yeah!

Me: No! Haven’t you ever seen those cartoons where sheep are like: What a baaaad kid.

Wally: True…

(we then go on to make frog noises and Chihuahua barks….)

Wally: Hey, Brendan, give me the marshmellows!

Brendan: I’m not giving them to you until you start calling them MALLOWS.

Wally:…..Hey, Brendan, give me the mallows!

(Last year camping inside the yucky bathroom…)

Me: I bet this place is haunted!!

Gracey: Oh my gosh, I know! Ahhh! There’s ghosts inside the nasty toilet!

Me: AAHHH! What are we gonna do!? We’re gonna die!!

Gracey: Oh no!!

(we make a huge hullabullo and are laughing really hard when we come out of the bathroom…to see like five people we don’t know staring at us blankly.)

Us: Uh…hi!

(we walk away laughing really hard)

Brittany: I always think that, like, there’s a monster in that toilet….

Me and Wally: Oh I know!!

Brittany: I’m gonna call you cripple! You’re such a crip!

Wally(cuz he’s on crutches): Shut up!

My dad(to Wally): Oh, I’d better watch your foot, huh?

(keeps walking)

Wally(in amazement): That’s a first….

(everyone kept stepping on his foot and tripping over it and such…)

Me: Hey, do you know my dad’s name?

Wally: Allen…

Me: What about my Uncle Jay…oops.

Wally(laughing): Jay.

Me: What about my mom?

Wally: Uh…it’s Lily, right?

(I start laughing really hard)

Me: No! It’s Lori!

Wally: Oh, crap!

Me: Hey, mom!

(Wally puts his hand over my mouth)

Wally: No, don’t tell her!!

Me(struggling and laughing): Mom! Wally thought your name was Lily!

My mom: Well, I guess it’s okay if you call me that seeing as we’ve been calling you Wally for the past year…

Wally: Hey, Uncle Mo, can we go up on the trails on the quad?

Mo: Yeah…but just make sure you’re really careful. Because, remember, if you guys get hurt it won’t only ruin your trip but it will affect everyone else’s trip too. Basically, you guys just have to stay safe until Sunday.

Me: Then it won’t matter if we die…

Mo: Exactly!

(later as we’re up on a trail, there’s a big hill that Wally wants to go down)

Wally: SO you wanna go down it?

Me: Uh…not yet….

Wally: Okay.

(as we pass by it again…)

Wally: Now do you wanna go down it?

Me: Can’t we wait until Sunday when it won‘t matter if we die??

Wally(exasperatedly): We’ll be fine.

Me: You know what would be funny? Is if your mom paid you for all the clothes you're giving her...

Kayla: I'd be really rich! I'd have a lot of money! I'd...

Me: You'd have a really stupid mom!

Kayla: That was THEN, Elias! This is NOW!

Me: Well, that sounded kind of retarded.

(me and Kayla are watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire?)

Me: Hey Kayla! That guys from Las Vegas!!

Kayla: Yay! (starts chanting) USA! USA! USA!

Me: Kayla…ALL the contestants are from USA.

Kayla: Oh…LV! LV! LV! LV!

Me: Yay Alphie!!

Kayla: What!?

Me: You were saying Alphie…

Kayla: I was saying LV!!

(we both start rolling around on the floor from laughing so hard)

Kayla: Actually…I think his name is Ricky or something.

(we look at each other and start laughing because there’s this kid at church named Ricky whom I was having problems with)

Kayla (in between peals of laughter): I bet he’s like Ricky’s ancestor or something!

Me: Yeah! Or they’re related!

Kayla: (blank stare)

Me: What?

Kayla: That’s what ancestor MEANS.

(we start rolling around laughing again)

Brendan: Is that weird guy who likes you here?

(Craig walks up)

Jacob: Oh. You mean him?

(we start laughing as I try to kick him)

Me: Don’t be mean!!

Jacob: I ate like a ton of food last night.

Me (in disbelief): Where does it all GO?

Jacob: I don’t know…

Me: You’re digestive system I guess…

(we all start laughing)

Jacob: For you it goes to your hyper gland or something. You get hyper off of broccoli for crying out loud!

Me: And air…

Jacob: That too.

(Me and Jacob are sitting on the back of Jacob’s truck)

Me(in a little kid’s voice): We should have a picnic!

Jacob: Yay picnic!

Me: We can have lots of food like…

Jacob: Corn.

Me:…..(blank stare) Corn?

Jacob: Yes. I love corn.

(we start laughing)

(Me and Jacob are trying to figure out how we can get together sometime this week)

(Brendan walks up)

Me: Hey, Brendan…want to help us conspire?

(Brendan puts on a really weird face and stands in a really weird position.)

(Me and Jacob look at him for a minute and then look at each other.)

Me:……………AND now we walk away.

Jacob: YES.

Me(in excited voice): Guess what book I want really bad!

Matt(dully): Twilight?

Me: Aww, man! How’d you guess??

(on MSN)

Wally: bites and accidently draws blood

Me: -sigh- Twilight gave me false impressions of vampires.

Wally: no I just like to bite people

Me: If you bite me, I’ll throw a stick at your head

Wally: lol yah, chase away all the guys with a stick!

Me: No. Just you.

Wally: I see how it is.

(on the phone)

Jacob: Hey, Sarah, it’s Jacob!

Me: Hey!

Jacob(smug): Hey! I’m about to watch Iron man!

Me(smugger): Hey! I’m already watching it!

Jacob: What!? You are!?

Me: Yup. I beat you to it.

Jacob: It’s not a race!

Me: It is too! And I’m winning!

Jacob: Well, we just got back from Metro Pizza.

Me: Aww, lucky.

Jacob: Hah. Now who’s winning?

Me: Well…I had salad!

Jacob(slightly sarcastically): Whoops. I can’t beat salad….

(on MSN)

Wally: omg! Get the updated version!

Me: I’m not allowed to download anything on this computer!

Wally: Why not?

Me: Are you TRYING to get me to break the law!?

Wally: you won’t break the law…it’s free!

Me: Mom’s word is law. K

Wally: Oh…I didn’t know!

(later)

Wally: I love your mommy…

Me: She says, what??

Wally: let me break it down for you. I. LOVE. YOUR. MOMMY.

Wally: She’s my mommy too…shh don’t tell anyone….

Me: Well, we DID adopt you…

Wally: Oh yeah! I totally forgot!

Gracey: It feels so good outside!

Me: I know! But it’s cold!

Gracey: I know! I love it!

Me: PANTS! …okay, wow that was really random.

Gracey: YES….

(we start laughing)

Gracey: Why did you randomly scream pants??

Me: I was trying to say: now we get to wear pants…but it didn’t come out right….

(we start laughing again)

Matt: What’s Cole afraid of?

Me: I don’t know. Hey, Cole! Matt wants to know what you’re afraid of!

Cole(gets on the phone with Matt): What’s the worst thing you can imagine?

Matt: A ghost.

Cole: What’s a million times worse than a ghost?

Matt: I don’t know…two ghosts?

(I start laughing REALLY hard)

(me, Tovia, and Jacob are trying to do a crossword puzzle in a limited amount of time)

Tovia: Ah! There’s lettuce! I found lettuce!

Jacob: Where!?

Tovia: Right there.

(she points to where the word starts)

(Jacob starts to circle it and then stops)

Jacob: Oh no! It says lettuck. There’s no “e” at the end!

(Me and Tovia stare at him. I jab my finger at the end of the word.)

Me: L-E-T-T-U-C-EEEEEEE!!

Jacob: OH!!

(We all start CRACKING up)

Me: You’re NOT a blonde, Jacob, I promise…

Jacob: I’m such an idiot…

(we keep laughing)

(me, Tovia, and Jacob all have to eat six breadsticks in a limited amount of time)

Jacob: Hey, Sarah. Watch this.

(He opens his mouth really wide and quickly stuffs the ENTIRE breadstick in his mouth)

Me:……I think that’s the randomest thing you’ve done all night.

(later)

Jacob: Urgh. My stomach hurts…I think I ate that breadstick too fast.

Jacob(reading the warning label in the front seat): Hey, Tovia. This is for you. “Children twelve and under can be killed or seriously injured if they sit in the front seat.”

Tovia: Shut up!

(we are in McDonalds staring around at the playground secton)

Me: Hey, Tovia! You can still play in here. Look, it says children three to twelve….

Tovia: We’re leaving.

(I start laughing)

(me and Jacob are sitting in the back of the car)

Me: Hey, Jacob?

Jacob: What?

Me: Lettuck.

(we start laughing hysterically)

(me and Tovia are talking about Starbucks)

Me: I usually order the chocolate frapachino.

Tovia: Yeah, I usually get the vanilla bean crapachino…Oh wait. OOPS!

(we start laughing hysterically)

Me: Dude, we should TOTALLY go into a Starbucks and be like, “I’d like one crapachino, please!”

(we have to go to Starbucks for the race thing later that night)

Me: Hey, Tovia! It’s time to order our crapachino!

(we start laughing)

Jacob: A crapachino?...

Me(reading out of the Bible to solve a clue for the game we’re playing): A star will come out of Jacob….

Mrs. S: Okay! What’s the next verse?

(I read the next verse and then start laughing)

Me: Hey, Jacob! Jacob!

Jacob: What?

Me: A star is gonna come out of you!

(the envelope for the game said we had to go buy a tire gage. Mr. S and Jacob go in to buy one at Auto Zone)

Me: What’s a car gage? Can I have it!?

Mrs. S: You don’t even know what it is and you want to have it?

Me: Yeah!

Samala: What are you going to do with a tire gage??

Me: I don’t know. I’ll hang it on my wall!

(we have used the tire gage and the stick was poking out the end and I wanted it to go ALL the way in instead of part of the way in. It wouldn’t work though and I needed something steady to hit it against…)

Me: Hey, Jacob….can I use your leg?

Jacob: Sure…?

(I hit the tire gage into his leg and…)

Jacob: OW!!

Me: I’m sorry!! I thought it would go in!!

Jacob: Ow!!

(we’re both laughing)

Mrs. S: I think that’s as far as it goes in…

Me: Oh…

Jacob: You mean you killed my leg for nothing!?

Me: Do you think it’s cheating because I know where an envelope is?

Jacob: Nooooo…it’s having an advantage!

Jacob: I only have like thirty minutes left on my cell phone…

Me: Does that mean I should hang up?

Jacob: Let’s talk about something else!

Me: I don’t want to waste all your minutes!

Jacob: Let’s just reach a climax of the conversation so we can keep talking!

Me: Okay…did you know…that…the moon is big tonight?

Jacob: I wanted to waste my minutes but not on something like that!

(on MSN)

Me: You see me rollin…you hatin.

Wally: I see you rolling and you’re on fire! AHH! ROLL, COUGAR, ROLL! FIRE! AAHHH!!

(on MSN)

Wally: but let’s talk about something less depressing.

Me: Okay. I’m gonna buy you a bottle of rootbeer for your birthday!

Wally: :)

(I have to lift up the computer in Gracey’s room so we can dust under it. Me and Cole have been assigned this task)

Cole: Why do we even have to dust under the computer!?

Me: Because Mrs. A told us too!

Cole: But no one can see under there!

Me: She can!

Cole: How!?

Me: She has x-ray vision! All moms are blessed with x-ray vision! I’ll have it one day too!

(Me, Cole, and Gracey start laughing hysterically)

Gracey(in between giggles): Just you wait!

(Me and Matt are getting ready to hang up the phone…)

Me: Okay, Matt…I’ll talk to you later.

Matt: Chola!

Me: You can’t say chola! That means hello, you dork!

Matt: I can too say chola.

Me: No. It means hello!!

Matt: Fine! Chadious!

(we both start CRACKING up)

(I’m at Ross and on the phone with Matt)

Matt: I usually eat like four soft tacos and two burritos from Taco Bell.

Me: Really? Wow. I usually…OH MY GOSH!

Matt: What!?

Me: They have REALLY cool pots here!

(Matt starts laughing REALLY hard)

Me: You have Pooh Bear slippers!?

Matt: Shut UP, Cougar.

Me: No, no! I have Pooh Bear slippers too! Except mine are from Signapore.

Matt: Signapore?

Me: Yeah. My Uncle Jay says Signapore is like Pooh capital.

Matt:….Pooh capital. That sounds funny. It’s like, “Hey, where you going? I’m going to pooh capital!”

Me: hahahaahaha

Matt: “Where were you?” “I was at pooh capital!”

Me: HAHAHAHA

Matt: “Where should we go?” “Let’s go to pooh capital!”

Me: …..WOW! We are REALLY socially deprived.

(Me and Matt are talking about someone who was annoying him)

Me: I don’t act like that, right?

Matt: No. Definitley not.

(pause)

Me: I’m just naturally annoying.

(we both start cracking up)

Jacob: Okay. What would I be? A werewolf…or a VAMPIRE?

Me: Definitley a werewolf.

Jacob:………DARN it!

Jacob: Yeah…I want to grow like a beard goatee combo.

Me: You’re not allowed to grow a beard until you’re at least seventeen.

Jacob: What!?

Jacob: Yeah…I’m kind of growing a moustache.

Me: If you grow a moustache, I’m shaving it off.

Jacob: What!?

Brendan: Did you say you were going to eat it off?

Me: NO!

(we’re all talking about guys’ underarm hair for some reason…….)

Brendan: No, listen! This one friend of mine has underarm hair and it’s like…all FLUFFY and SOFT!!

Me: How would you know!? Have you TOUCHED it!?

Jacob: Yeah! How WOULD you know!?

Brendan: NO, I haven’t touched it!!

(Jacob is standing in front of me)

Me: You have hairy legs.

(pause)

(I grin evily up at him)

Jacob: DON’T. SAY. IT.

Me: I won’t….

(we start laughing)

(Inside joke)

(I’m looking for lizards and snakes with Jacob, Brendan, and their dad)

Moe: Now, guys. You’ll know when you find a tortoise because it’ll say: Goodnight, Ned!

(Jacob and Brendan start laughing hysterically)

Me(to Brendan): I don’t get it…

Brendan: It’s an inside joke.

Me:……..You wanna make that an outside joke?

Me: I think Ricky has FINALLY gotten over me!

(in the background on TV…): YOU BUTTHEAD!

Me and Chandler:…………………

Me and Chandler: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(the kids are watching Jack Frost in the other room)

Chandler: Like, why would you want to reincarnate into a SNOWMAN?

Me: I don’t know. It would kind of stink in the summer because you’d have to like, melt inside of a glass and then be kept inside of the refregirator. Then, a neighborhood kid could come over and be like, “Hey, look! A glass of water!” and then you’d have to be like: “WAIT! STOP! THAT’S MY DAD!”

(we both start laughing HYSTERICALLY)

Chandler: “You’re drinking his arms!”

Me: “Oh great. You drank his brain! Now we have to put him in the “special” class!!”

(we laugh hysterically about this for like ten minutes without stop)

Chandler: Oh man…and you know the funniest thing about all this?

Me: What?

Chandler: Most of that wasn’t even funny….

(we start laughing again)

Shianne: Dax! Don’t play football….without your DIXIECUP!

(Josiah holds up a lego)

Josiah: This is the magical crystal that the unicorn king of the Netherlands gave me.

Me:……….

(ten minutes pass by)

(He walks past me again holding a penny)

Josiah: This penny’s saved my life. Twice.

Me:…………

(Seven year old Kylie goes to stand next to much older Alex to tell him something)

Me: Hey, Alex! She’s almost as tall as you!

(he glares at me)

ahahahahaha

(I get this practically every week)

Jacob: Oh my gosh. I remember when, like, I used to have to look up to you because I was so short. Like, you were so much taller than me. And now you’re so short!

(or)

Josiah: I think you’re shrinking, Cougar….

Me: Hah! Jacob! I’m FINALLY taller then you.

(he looks down at my feet and I’m wearing high heels)

Jacob: Take those off!

Me: No! I’m taller than you now!

(he comes to stand next to me and he’s still like half an inch taller)

(He starts laughing)

Jacob: Even when you’re wearing heels I’m still taller than you!

Me: Mom, Jeremiah is a freaking giant now.

Mom: You mean little Jeremiah?

Me: No! I mean giant Jeremiah! He’s SO freaking tall!

(Matt is REALLY hyper and keeps randomly screaming)

Me: Matt, I seriously think you have ADHD.

Matt: ADHD!! WOOOOOH!!

Me: Oh my gosh! Matt! What did you EAT!?

Matt: Two bags of skittles.

Me: Why would you do that!?

(a little bit later)

Me: What’s your girlfriend’s number? I need to call her and warn her about you….

Me: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! My feet are SO freaking cold.

Matt: Okay, Cougar? There’s this new invention they’ve made….and it’s called socks.

Me: Oh my gosh. Seriously!?

Matt: Yes. Go get some.

Me: I don’t want to. I don’t believe in socks.

Matt: What?!

Me: I believe in bare feet and flip-flops. In fact, I think I’m going to start a new religion. The only law will be “thou shalt not wear socks.”

Matt: You’ll be the only one following that….

Me: Ay, I need an idea for a short story...tis for school...

Gracey: Ew...short story's

Me: Have any good ones that you'd like to share?

Gracey: Yes

Me: Really?

Gracey: Yup. It's about a girl who falls in love with this boy named Edwin. and he just happens to be a fruit bat! but this girl (ella) doesn't care that he's a fruit bat and falls in love with him, even though she gets put in jeopardy because all of edwins fruit bat friends.

Me: ...ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahhahahhahahahahaha...and how much sugar did you have today?

Gracey: LOTS

Gracey: Oh my gosh...funniest thing to tell you...

Me: what what what??

Gracey: The other night keisha's little brother messaged me and it said, "DINOSAURS GO RAWR!"
this was the reply off the top of my head..."SO DO GECKOS!!"

Me: Geckos!! LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Gracey: I think my bed hates me. Every time i put something on it, it EATS it!

Me: Like that channel changer?

Gracey: YES! It swallows it and then it ends up wrapped in all my pillows! It hates me!

Kayla (on ichat): Haha what are u guys doin today??

Gracey: Probly just gonna eat some pie...

Me: ...(both of us) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA...

Me: That was original.

(Me and Gracey are eating pumpkin pie and Gracey looks at my pie that is ugly and smooshed.)

Gracey: ...

Me: Don't judge me.

(Me and Gracey are really hyper BEFORE we go to eat pumpkin pie)

Gracey: You know what's funny? We haven't had anything except for like...cheese, and potatoes, and soup...

Me: Speak for yourself! I had a donut...

Gracey: Oh yeah! and I had like 5 muffins at church!

Me: ...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Me, Maddy, Cole, and Gracey are about to play an AWESOME game of throw the baby doll as high as you can on the trampoline)

(Gracey goes inside to find a babydoll to play with...)

Cole: We're gonna kill a baby! We're gonna kill a baby!

Me: ...

(random ritual pledges that we made)

Me: I pledge that we will put this baby in as much danger as possible. Including Madison.

Gracey: I pledge that we will throw this baby as high as possible. Including Madison

Gracey: I pledge that we will NOT throw this baby behind our backs. (glares at Maddy) Including Madison.

(We start to say a chant over the baby)

Me: I pledge that this baby willingly submited itself to be in danger and we are in now way liable if it lands on a roof, a backyard, or the street. Amen.

Gracey,Maddy, and Cole: I pledge that this baby willingly submited itself to be in danger and we are in now way liable if it lands on a roof, a backyard, or the street. Amen.

(we start to play the game and eventually Gracey throws the baby on the roof and we gather around to hold a memorial service.)

Gracey: I feel extremely bad for what I've done to this baby, the baby's family-

Me: Which is us.

Gracey: and yeah. I just feel extremely awful!

Madison: HE WAS SO YOUNG!

(we all start laughing and after holding our memorial service I hold up my right hand.)

Me: I pledge...

Everybody: I pledge...

Me: That we will not speak of this to anyone!

(they repeat it...and then we all start coming up with more pledges.)

Me: i pledge...that we should speak of this to Dixie Cup.

Gracey: OBJECTION! I pledge that we should NOT speak of this to Dixie Cup because he will think i'm mentally retarded.

Gracey: I pledge that we should not speak of this to our parents...even though we probably will anyways. Amen.

Me: I pledge that we should not speak of this to our parents until TOMORROW or else we'll be banned from the game forever. Amen.

maddy: i...uh...pledge...uh...that we...uh...should not tell...uh...our...uh...friends about...crazy...friends...and uh...family...uh...parents...

Me: I pledge...that Madison shouldn't pledge.

(Maddy, Me, and Gracey are playing the fill in the blank story game and it's my turn...)

Maddy: Name a creeping bug...

Me (looking at a picture of Maddy on the wall and completely distracted): Madison...

Gracey: ...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(me and Kayla are on a ride at Circus Circus)

Kayla: Ahhh!!

Me: Ahh...Oh my gosh!

Kayla: What?

Me: I didn't know they had a golf course here!

Me: My hands are DIRTY!

Kayla: They have CHEESE!

Me: What do I DO!?

(Me and Kayla are quoting batman The Dark Knight at eachother)

Kayla: "What's the difference between you and me!?" "You're not wearing tights!"

Me: Actually he says hockeypants...

Kayla: Oh! Really!?

Me: Yeah...I think the whole tights thing would be Super Man's line...

(we start laughing hysterically)

(still quoting Dark Knight)

Kayla: "Wanna see a magic trick?"

Me: Boom!

Kayla: "I kill the bus driver!"

Me and Kayla: Boom!

Kayla: "Where'd all the other guys go?"

Me and Kayla: BOOM!

Me and Kayla...

Kayla: We sure do like movies with lots of shooting in it...

(on AIM)

Chandler: I have to pee!

Me: Me too!

Chandler: We should have a race!

Me: I don't want to pee under PRESSURE!

(we’re sitting downstairs talking about guys or whatever…)

Me: Yeah, he’s just a big jerk.

Kayla: Yeah…..

(pause)

Kayla: I wish everything was made out of corn.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT!?

(me and Kayla are bored at Circus Circus so we decide to get into a photo booth and just SIT in there doing nothing. We call Matt…)

Me: Hey! What are you doing?

Matt: Uh…shopping at JC Penny’s for some jeans….What are you doing?

Me: Sitting…in….a photo booth! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kayla: AHAHAHAHAHHA!!

Matt: What?

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I think only me and Kayla actually found this funny….)

(later)

Me: Have you found your jeans yet?

Matt: Nope.

Kayla: Ask him “how about now?”

Me: How about now?

Matt: Oh, you’re a riot.

(later)

Kayla: Ask him what section he’s in….

Me: Matt! What section are you in?

Matt: I don’t know…

Me: LOOK AROUND!

Matt: Uh…I see socks. There. I’m in the sock section.

Kayla: How is he finding jeans in the sock section!?

(later)

Matt: Well, I have to go….

Kayla: Good luck finding your jeans in the sock section!

(me and Kayla are talking about something that’s retarded.)

Me: That’s gay….

Kayla: That’s homo….

Me (due to sleep deprivation): That’s homolicious!!

(on IM)

Me:how was she annoying you?

Matt: cause she was being a retard lol

Me: ahahahaha yes, but she's MY retard :D

Matt: lol no shes matss retard lol

Me: ...are you talking about you or her boyfriend?

Matt: her bf i wouldn't want her to be my retard

Me: LOL! That made me laugh!!

Matt: what

Me: "I wouldn't want her to be my retard" lolololololololol

Matt: i WOULDN’T lol

Gracey: So do you like him?

Me: I haven’t even MET him yet!

Gracey: Hahahahaahahaha

Me: Haahahahaha

Gracey: hahahahaha

(totally straight faced serious)

Gracey: So yes?

(blank stare)

Gracey (pointing at a screename on the computer): Who is this?

Me (thinking that it was her own screename): …ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You!

Gracey: Wait…what!? No! I was pointing to this one!

Me: Oh…

(there is really good broccoli stuff on our plates)

Me: is this the last of the broccoli stuff?

Gracey: I think so…yeah….darn it. We must savor every bite!

(I look up at her guiltily and eat the last bite of my broccoli salad)

Dax: What are you guys laughing about?

Gracey: How Sarah is so technical.

Me: WAS!

Gracey: See! You’re doing it again!

Us: HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Matt: So what are you doing?

Me: Eating a piece of pie!

Matt: Eew!!

Me: You don’t like pie!?

Matt: No, it’s gross!

Me: You take that back!

Matt: No!

Me: I’ll hang up on you.

Matt: No, you won’t.

Me: If I do, will you call back?

Matt: I don’t know…probably.

(I hang up the phone.)\

(On AIM)

Kayla: So what are you doing tonight?

Mat E: I forgot her name.

Kayla: What?

Mat E: You asked me what I was doing tonight….

Kayla: EEW! MAT!

(she starts cracking up and lets me read the conversation)

(several minutes pass by)

Me: I don’t get it….

Kayla: Oh. My gosh. It’s something guys think about….

Me: OH! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Mom! Tell them to hurry up! Kayla’s cold and she has to pee!

Mom: Oh, really?

Kayla: Well, I don’t have to pee anymore.

(she smiles)

Mom: Oh, REALLY?

Kayla: What? Oh! Wait! That came out wrong!

Gracey: Aww! Dax used to have curly hair! And I told him I loved curly hair and he said, “aww, man!” because he wants me to like his curly hair!

Me: Just tell him that you love his hair JUST the way it is!

Gracey(totally serious): But I don’t. It’s ugly.

Gracey: maybe i'm just the mentally challenged child that they can't send to school cus they know she'll be ridiculed

Me: aww! That's AWFUL.

Gracey: THAT'S HILARIOUS.

Me: I would feel so bad if you were mentally retarded!

Gracey: i thought you said i would feel so bad if you knew you were mentally retarded

Me: sorry Gracey...I meant to tell you all this time...LOL

Morgan: Sometimes I can feel stuff pumping in my throat.

Chandler (going delirious): I bet because there is a bug in your throat.

Morgan:….What?!

Jacob: Yeah, like all my texts are from Julia.

Me: Oooh! Really?? Let me see!

(he hands his phone to me)

Me: “Ooh, sweet Julia!” “Sugar muffin!” “Honey cake!”

(me and Jacob start laughing)

Craig(not getting that I’m messing around): What? Wait, what? Let me see! What?

(upon seeing the word “Really” spelled “relle”)

Me: Jacob, you need to learn how to spell.

(he grabs the phone back from me)

Jacob: it’s called TEXT talking!

(we start cracking up)

Me: Yeah, I didn’t get to meet this really cute guy I wanted to either.

Jacob: Oooh. Okay. What’s his name?

(I tell him)

Jacob: What color is his hair?

Me: Like…dark brown….

Jacob: Oh yeah. You always fall for those kinds of guys.

Me: I do NOT!

Jacob: You do too! Is he tall or a shorty?

Me: Tall! and oh my GOSH! He is MUSCELEY!

Me: I’m scared to meet him.

Chandler: Are you scared of his sexyness?

Me: NO!

(pause)

Me: I’m scared of his sexy hot buffness!

(me and Chandler are sitting in the same room instant messaging eachother about pink bunnies and funerals and cracking up while we’re supposed to be doing school)

(I start cracking up)

Mrs. A: Sarah……what are you laughing at?

(Me and Chandler exchange glances)

Me: Memories.

(we burst into laughter)

Chandler: We are like, SO easily amused! I BET we would even laugh if a carrot fell out of a tree.

Me: A carrot!?

Chandler: Oh wait….

(we start cracking up)

(on MSN)

Me: I am not analyzing anything I’m writing right now.

Davidson: that’s the best thing because you can say anything and there will be no hard feelings!

Me: Like…YOUR SHOES ARE UGLY!

Davidson: Yeah! There you go!

(on MSN)

Me: JERK!

Me: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a jerk!

Davidson: First girl to call me a jerk! I feel honored! Woohoo!

(later)

Me: I’m glad we’ve reached the point in our friendship where I can call you a jerk and you won’t beat me up.

Davidson: What real man would beat a girl up just because she called him a jerk?!

Me:….an ANGRY man….

Chandler: You know what else is at Costco?

Me: Uh…butter?

Chandler: WHAT?! NO! The pink bunny suit!!

Me: OH YEAH!

Chandler: Do you think he'll think I look pretty?

Me: I bet he'll think you look so pretty that he'll fall over!

Gracey: I would hope not!

Me: It would be like, "Dax! What are you doing down there?!"

(we start laughing hysterically)

(Matt says something totally random)

Me: I think that's the randomest thing you've ever said.

Matt: I try...

Me: Congratulations, Matt! You get a gold star!

Matt(in a mentally retarded voice): I don't want a gold star...I want a blue star!

(I start cracking up)

Matt: Blue star matches my eyes

Gracey: You're gonna die because Edwina's cousin is going to eat you!

Me: Bring on the BUNNY SUIT!

(Edwina is Gracey's tapeworm that lives inside her stomach and eats all her food.)

Gracey: Edwina is going to come out and eat everybody!!

Me: She's going to eat me!

Gracey: No...Edwina's COUSIN is going to eat you. Edwina only eats ugly people.

Me: I'm being eaten by Edwina's cousin!!

(a commonly used saying by me and Matt)

Us: We are so socially deprived...

(talking about Teletubbies)

Me: I could never figure out if the Teletubbies were puppets or little kids dressed up in suits...

Matt: WHAT?!

Me: Well...what are they? Are they puppets?

Matt: You are not SERIOUSLY asking me this question...

Me: What are they?!

(Matt starts laughing his head off and never answers)

Mr. A: Aww! Nuts!

Gracey: -gasp- ...isn't that...dirty!?

Mr. A: Uhh...no.

Gracey: It's not!?

Mr. A: No...you know like...peanut. Coconut. Walnut.

Gracey: Oh...(thinks for a minute) WALNUT! Do you think people would look at me weird if I said that?

(me and Mr. A stare at her)

Me: YES.

Me: You think we can have breakfast? Or do you think we'll get in trouble?

(Gracey stares at me and starts laughing)

Me: I mean that in the BEST way possible...

Gracey: Cynical club!

Me: Cynical?

Gracey(sleep deprived): yeah...

Me: Don't you mean critical??

Gracey: OH! That's RIGHT

Gracey(major sleep deprived): Yeah...I think Amy liked him until he became a bugface...

Me: He was always a bugface.

Gracey: Well, he probably just recently changed or something...you know?

Me:...Gracey...he's been gone for four years!

Gracey: Oh, right...

Me: HURRY UP I'M HUNGRY!

Gracey: Uh...What?? Can you repeat that?

Me: I said hurry up I'm hungry!!

Gracey: oh! I thought you said, "Hurry up I want a grape!"

Matt: What's up?

Me: URGH. I'm at Jo Ann's...I HATE this place.

Matt: Ugh, me too. Only old people shop there.

Me: Matt!! You can't say that! My mom shops here!

Mom: What's he saying??

Me: He said only old people shop here...

Matt: Tell her no offense.

Me: What?

Matt: TELL HER NO OFFENSE!

Me: He says no offense.

Mom: Tell him I'm gonna remember that, ya little snot.

Me: She says she's gonna remember that, you little snot.

Matt: Ask her if I can have one last potty break.

Me and my mom: What??

(I'm in the middle of stretching)

Me: Cole! Is that flayyyyvered oatmeal?

(I start cracking up)

Me: I said that really weird, huh?

Cole: Yeah..."flaaayyyvered" oatmeal...

(we start laughing)

Me: UGH!! MY COMPUTER IS BEING GAY!

Mom: You're computer is not gay! It is NOT a homo!

Me: It IS too a homo! It's homolicious!

(whenever me or Davidson get mad at something)

It must die!

(or)

We must blowtorch it!

(or)

BURN IT!

(We are listening to "Bittersweet Symphony")

Gracey: Oh my gosh! The violins are PERFECT in this song!

(the song starts playing and after several seconds...)

Maddy(very confused): Violence would be perfect to this song??

Matt: Only homeless people play DDR.

Me: Yup, that’s me!

Matt: Woah, seriously!? Can I come be a homeless person?

Me: Of course!

Matt: Your record doesn’t have to be clean does it?

Me: Nah…what did you do, Matt?

Matt: Oh you know…I ran a stoplight.

Me(being overdramatic): MATT!

Matt: And stole a hobos shorts because I thought they were cool…

Me: How did you ever manage not to get caught?

Matt: I have no idea!

(we start talking about being homeless people and stealing the hobos shorts)

Matt: He was chasing me with his cane and he was naked!

Me: He couldn’t be naked! We didn’t steal his underwear too!

Matt: Well, I did…

Me: You dirty little boy!

Matt: I saw a dog who needed a chew toy!

Me: Well…imagine what the neighbors would have to see!

Matt: They’d see a naked hobo chasing me because I stole his pants!

Me: I don’t have a brain. It died!

(there’s a pause in the conversation as Matt tries to think of a witty comeback)

Matt: Your…brain…died! Ugh. I couldn’t come up with a funny retort.

Me: Gasp. Matt can’t come up with something funny? Oh NO!

Matt: The world is ending!

Me: It’s a sign of the apocolypse!

Matt: I want some skittles!

Me: Have you HEARD yourself on skittles?!

Matt: I’m George Washington. I’ve been alive all these years through medicine.

Me: Wow. Seriously? Why haven’t you told anyone?

Matt: I couldn’t blow my cover!

Me: You know they’ve like, written books about you because everyone thinks you’re dead?

Matt: What?

(on MSN)

Me: GUESS WHAT!

Davidson: DIME! QUE?

Me: What’s dime mean?

Davidson: Dime? Isn’t it the ten cent coin?

Me(confused): Yeah…..

Davidson: hahahaha

Me: But why did you say it??

Davidson: OH! You mean in Spanish!

Me: Yeesss….

Davidson: Ooooh! Hahahaha

(apparently I called Matt stupid and then we moved on to another subject)

Matt: You meanie, you called me stupid!

Me:…………I did?

Matt:…..Yeeahh.

Me: Really?! When!?

Matt: Oh my gosh, Sarah! Like, right before this!

Me: Seriously!? I called you stupid?!

Matt: Woooow, Sarah….you’re turning into Dory.

Matt: Teletuby world! Teltuby world!

Me: What?!

Matt: Now, say it like Po! Teltuby world! Teletuby world!

Me:…What?!

Matt: Now say it like Tinky Winky!

Me: ……….And you know how Tinky Winkys says this HOW?

Matt: I’m “Skittles ADHD” and you can be “M&M ADD”!

Me: ADHD and ADD unite! Together, we shall rule the world!

Matt: Yes! All awesome people will be part of the ADHD club.

Me: Well…fine. But only if all amazing people are part of the ADD club.

Matt: It’s a deal.

(Trying to figure out questions to ask Davidson)

Chandler: Ask him if he likes the color purple!

Me: I’ve already asked him that!

Chandler: Ask him if he knows that purple is the gay proud color!

Me: What?!

(a few days later we are talking about Barney)

Me: OH MY GOSH!

Chandler: WHAT?!

Me: GUESS WHAT I JUST REALIZED!

Chandler: WHAT?!

Me: BARNEY. IS. PURPLE.

Chandler:…..

Chandler: BARNEY. IS. GAY!

( we both start cracking up….)

(me and Mikayla are seriously hyper and going through valentine candy hearts)

Mikayla: “love him”

(pause)

Mikayla: YES!

(She throws it across the room)

(still reading candy hearts)

Me: Oh…I thought this one said “sexy beast”…..

(both of us start laughing hysterically)

Mrs. M: Sarah, how do you spell your name?

Me: With an

(I glare heavily at Davidson)

Me: an H!

Me: I was a mime last year.

Austin: That’s awesome!

David: You were a lion!?

(blank stare)

Austin: a MIME, David! A MIME!

David: Oh! So she was one of those things that hit rocks, right?

Austin(exasperated): Noooo…that’s a MINER. A mime is the guy trapped in a box, remember?

David: Oh YEAH!

(Making up a scary dream about Summer)

Austin: And then….she like, came out of the water like a dolphin and ate me.

Me: Like a dolphin, eh?

(Grant has gotten ketchups and they are filled to the brim)

Me: Grant, your ketchups look like little cupcakes!

(later upon seeing Austin’s ketchups)

Me: Your cupcakes look…oh wait! I meant ketchups!

Austin: Yeah, Grant…your ketchups look like cupcakes.

Grant: Aww, how sweet! She called me cupcake!

Me: What?!

(all of us start laughing)

Me: I MEANT to say that, Austin, your ketchups look pathetic next to Grant’s cupcakes!

Me: I hate it when little kids fall…and you laugh.

(I start laughing)

Austin: I am SO going to use that!

(Me and Cole are sitting at the table when we hear a bunch of glass shatter onto the tile)

Morgan: Ah!

(we look over the counter and see a broken glass on the floor.)

(A few seconds pass by it in which we all just stare at it)

Me: Hey, Morgan?

Morgan: Yeah?

Me: You broke a glass.

(me and Cole start laughing hysterically)

(We’re talking about emos and how we hate it when our friends cut themselves)

Austin: I don’t cut when I get mad…I just go hurt other people.

Me: Hmm. Maybe you should start cutting.

Austin: Oh, THAT’S great. I feel so loved!

Austin: Shut up!

Me: My mom doesn’t like the words shut up!

Austin: Which is why you say it all the time?

Me: I love saying “shut up”. It’s so much fun. That and “crap”. Shut up and crap.

(pause as I realize what I just said)

(I start laughing hysterically)

Austin: I find it funny that I’ve had a huge, stupid grin on my face this whole conversation.

Me: I’m sure mine is bigger.

Austin: How do you know?

Me: Because I’m a girl!

Kayla: Who would you go bowling with?

Me: The Eagles group…

Kayla: The Eagles group? What are you part of? The hippo group?

(I start laughing hysterically)

Me: Nooo, Kayla. The Hippo group is only for fat people!

(we’re watching the movie “The Number 23”)

(February 2nd flashes onto the screen)

Me: Kayla. February is two. 2 and 2 looks like twenty two. Twenty-two…plus…one…is TWENTY THREE!

(later a lady falls out of a building)

Kayla: I bet she fell off of the 23rd window…

Me: Out of the 23rd building…

Kayla: On 23rd avenue!

(later)

(Kayla is counting the words in a paragraph on her coke zero can)

Kayla: Look, Sarah. Twenty-one…twenty-two...TWENTY THREE!

(long pause)

Kayla: Twenty-four.

(Me and Kayla are dishing out ice cream with plastic spoons)

(as I’m dishing out my ice cream…)

Me: Oh no…I just know my spoon is going to brea-

(a loud snap and Kayla’s spoon breaks off)

(we look at eachother and start laughing hysterically)

Austin: See…when a guy likes a girl, the girl’s dad is always ten times scarier. And your dad intimidates me as it is. So I have to be constantly on my guard…so he doesn’t come run me over with a mail truck.

Austin: How is that you make me lose all sense of sanity?

Me: What?

Austin: Normally I try to avoid danger…and I’m risking getting hit by a mail truck for you.

(we start laughing really hard)

Me: But…my dad doesn’t have a mail truck…it’s at the Post Office!

Austin: Oh, he’ll rent it. He’ll hunt me down.

(we keep laughing)

Austin: Hey, guess what!

Me: What?

Austin: I have a rootbeer!

(pause)

Me: You called me JUST to tell me you have a rootbeer. That’s friendly.

Austin: Wait, no! That’s not the only reason I called!

(we start laughing)

Me and Cole at random times: CHARLIE!...GENERAL!

(we hear the train in the distance)

Some adult: Hey guys…isn’t that the train?

(all of us kids JUMP up from all our chairs….)

All of us: TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN!

(we start running towards the train tracks)

All of us: TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN!

Ria: MY WATER!!

Ria: You guys are making fun of me because I need my water. But I’ll get dehydrated faster than you guys! I get dehydrated faster because I’m BLACK!

(later)

Ria: You see…that’s why you always see them black people drinking lemonade in the summer out on their front porch…cause lemonade has a lot of water in it!

Me: Look at all the parents…they’re all outside looking over at us and getting all worried. They’re like, “Oh my gosh…did they get hit by the train? Are they dead?”

Chandler: Yeah…and then they’re like, “Who are those people walking around up there? Are those the paramedics?”

(we keep making fun of the adults in really high pitched voices)

Me: “Is that an ambulance?”

Chandler: “How did they get here so fast? Was there a camera on the train?”

Me: “Is there blood? Are they bleeding?”

(Mrs. A is telling a story of when she started sleepwalking one night)

Aunt Vicky: Oh! Isn’t that when you thought there was a baby stuck in your fan?

Mrs. A: No! It wasn’t a baby. It was a PILOT!

Me and Chandler making fun of her: Yeah, gosh. It was a pilot, didn’t you know?

(Austin had been gone for a week in Mexico and we’re talking on the phone one night)

Austin: I missed you so much.

(pause)

Me: When?

Austin: What?!

Me: OH YEAH!

Chandler: CYNICAL CLUB!

(pause)

Me: Don't you mean the critical club?

Chandler: Oh...that's right!

Me: I love you...

Austin: I love you too...

(long pause)

Me: I wish I was a pirate.

Austin:...I'm glad you're not random or anything...

(we both start laughing hysterically)

(watching Lost)

Mom: Oooh! I bet that guy is Miles' dad! I think it's his dad!

Me: Really? You think it is?

Mom(really fast and excited): Yeah! That's what I think!

(pause)

Me: That's what you think, huh?

(we both start laughing HYSTERICALLY)

(I think you had to be there)

Mom: Morgan says you guys are gonna go swimming in the pool!

(pause)

Austin: Morgan's confused!

Me: Can I have the black marker?

Nathaneal: Oooh! You’re being racist!!

(later on)

Nathaneal: Nerds have braces and everything…

Me: Ooooh! You’re being BRACIST!!

Chandler: That was the best comeback I’ve ever heard!

(Me, Chandler , and Maddy are all outside singing Phantom of the Opera)

Chandler: It frightenns meee…

Maddy(sounding kind of insane): Don’t be frighteeenneeeddd!!

(pause)

Chandler: I dunno…I think I’d be kinda creeped out if you sang it to me like that.

Me: Have you ever noticed how phychotic the Phantom of the Opera would be if it wasn’t a musical? Christine would be like, “HAHAHA! YEAH! My father died and left me the Angel of Music and HE LIVES INSIDE MY MIND!!

Chandler: Oh, I know! And then the Phantom would be all, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I’LL KILL EVERYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY! Maybe I’ll just kill the whole world so it’ll just be us two and you’ll be SAFE! HAHA! HAHA!”

Austin: Have you ever played Sims?

Me: Oh yeah! I used to LOVE that game!

Austin: I used to like finding different ways to kill the Sims…

Me: Yeah…that was fun…but I always felt bad after they died.

(pause)

Austin: Sarah….they’re virtual little people.

Me: I know. But I still felt bad! They died!

Austin: They’re VIRTUAL people.

Me: But still!

Austin: You really are a goody-two shoes….

(In youth group)

Jared: Okay….so….why does Jesus want us to figuratively drink his blood?

Austin(messing around): Because he wants us to be vampires?

Jared: Mhmmm. Okay. Next question.

(we’re talking about diabetes)

Mrs. R: Yeah, I mean, when you have hypoglycemia, it can lead to diabetes….

Jacob(darkly and very evil): And then you DIE.

Mrs. R: JACOB!

Tovia: OH MY GOSH! Do you work at the Santa Fe Casino!?

Mat: Yeah….

Tovia: OH MY GOSH! I KNOW YOU! I’VE SEEN YOU BEFORE!

Austin(mimicking Tovia in a high pitched voice): Oh my gosh, Mat! You’re a celebrity! I’ve seen you before!

(Jared puts his arm around Austin as a joke)

Me(in mock horror): Jared! Are you hitting on my boyfriend?!

Jared: Sarah…I’ve been hitting on your boyfriend since before you two even met.

(we all start laughing)

(Zach, Jared, and Tovia are all making fun of us)

Zach: Come on guys! Just kiss already!

Me: Fine!

(I slap my hand over Austin’s mouth and start pretending to kiss him)

Jared: Niceeeee, Sarah!

(he gives me a high-five)

(Me, Karlie, and Jacob are all walking out of the movie theater.)

Jacob: Haha. You guys are so short.

Me and Karlie(at the same time): Shut up, Jacob.

(we all start laughing.)

(Tovia runs off from the group)
Me: Davidson, she’s running away.
Davidson: Oh yeah. That’s okay. She can leave.
(later)
Tovia: I ran off and nobody came after me but Sarah!
(to Davidson)
Tovia: Sarah loves me more than you do!
Davidson: (pause) You want some chips?

Davidson: Oh..on the tumblr? Blog of Wonders?
Me: How did you know about that?!
Davidson: Oh, I know…you know?

Davidson: Steve, do you like your bed?
Steve: Yeah, maybe.
Davidson: Tovia, do you like your bed?
Tovia: Yeah, I like my bed.
Davidson: Sarah, do you like your bed?
Sarah: I LOVE my bed.
Tovia: Davidson, do you like your bed?
Davidson: I LOVE my bed. It’s SQUISHY.

Davidson: I’m suck at football!
Tovia: It’s “I suck at football.” Not, “I’m suck.” That’s saying you are something.
Austin: I am the definition of suck!
Davidson: Don’t make fun of my English!
Austin: You should make fun of our Spanish.
Davidson: But I don’t!
Me: But you SHOULD.

Tovia: OW! Your cat just bit my foot!
Me: You probably deserved-OW!
(my cat bites my foot)
Tovia: You deserved it too!

(we are at Carl’s Jr.)
Davidson: Do you want anything to eat?
(pause as I look at the menu.)
(in distressed voice)
Me: I don’t think there’s anything to eat here!
(pause)
Davidson: WHAT?! Austin, she says there is nothing to eat and we are in a restaurant!
(him and Austin start laughing REALLY hard)
(me and Tovia are talking in fake accents)
Tovia: We must kill ALL OF THEM!
Me: No! There is only Mark!
Tovia: Oh. Just Mark?
Me: No…okay, all of them.
Tovia: So what do we do?
Me: Okay. We’re going to kick the ball. And we’ll yell, ‘We’re going to kill you!’ and they will all disperse and we will win!
Tovia: Wait, so they’re just going to separate and we’ll get across safely?
Me: Yes!
(we get up and start running towards invisible soccer players)
Us: WE’RE GOING TO KILL YOU! DIE! DIE! DIE!
(when we get to the other side of the field)
Me: Now it’s your turn! What’s the plan?
Tovia: Uhm…we…will….murder them too! Oh wait, let’s make them eat grass! And smash their heads into the ground.
Me: And we will WIN!

Tovia: Yeah!
(we get up and start running towards the invisible soccer players)
Us: EAT GRASS! EAT GRASS! EAT GRASS! DIE! AGHHH!! EAT GRASS!

(we see two boys digging something up with a shovel)
Me: I bet they’re trying to kill someone. Or burrying them. Should we go find out?
Tovia: YES!
(we run over to them)
Me: Did you kill someone?
Boy 1: Yeah, just did.
Me: With the shovel?
Boy 2: Yeah.
Tovia: You killed my papa!!
Me: YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!
Us: NOOOO!!
Boy 2: You guys are stoned.
Me: No, we’re not! You killed my brother!
Tovia: No! My papa! It was my papa!
Me: You killed my brother that was her papa!

(later the two boys bike ride past)
Me: YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!
Tovia: MY PAPA!!
Boy 1: How old are you guys?
Tovia: I’m thirteen!
Me: Fifteen, thank you very much.
Boy 1: You guys are acting like two year olds!
Me: You’re just jealous that you’re not as happy and hyper as us!! You’re jealous that you’re not as cool as us!

(Davidson stands in front of a car until the car is right in front of him. Then he moves.)
Davidson: Sank you! Sank you!

Davidson: I got burned last week…
(I choke on a fry because it was too hot)
Davidson: HAHAHAHA!
(in the same breath)
Davidson: But yeah, so I got burned…

Davidson: Woooow.
Me: Why are you wowing me?
Davidson: Because, I have the right to say wow.
Tovia: No, you don’t.
Davidson: Yes, I do.
Me: It’s not written in the Declaration of Independence.
Tovia: I’ll write it in the Declaration of Independence.
Me: It’ll be like, pretty handwriting, pretty handwriting, Tovia, pretty hand writing….

Me: I see cows…
Austin: Happy cows make cheese.
Me: (thinking really hard) But….cows….don’t make cheese.
Austin:…they make milk.
Me: I know! They’re not made out of cheese, though.
Austin: Sarah. Cheese is made out of milk.
Me: OH! I GET it!

(we are all talking about something)
(randomly)
Davidson: And there were notes and notes and notes and notes!
All of us: Wait, what?

(On IM)
Me: OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!
Davidson: What?! What?!
Me: Did you know if you send a banana in the mail, it will get sent?!
Davidson: Send me a banana, Sara! I’m hungry!! I don’t have money to buy food!

(next day)
Davidson: You did not send me the banana.
Davidson: Bad Sara.
Me: I’m sorry! I will send you the banana!
Davidson: I need the banana.

(I call Austin at like 2 in the morning)
Me: Hey…
Austin: Hey!
Me: What’s up?
(really delirious)
Austin: Nothing….how long have you been asleep?
Me: I’m awake.
Austin: What?
(I start laughing really hard)
Austin: What?
Me: Nothing.

(I call Austin at 2 in the morning again)
Austin: What time is it?
Me: Like two…
Austin: Oh…okay.
(pause)
(really delirious)
Austin: I LOVE YOU!

(I take a picture of Chandler’s feet while she’s in the bathroom stall)
(I am in the stall next to her and hand her the camera under the stall.)
(pause)
Chandler: AGH!!
Me: WHAT?!
Chandler: OH MY GOSH!
Me: WHAT?!
Chandler: YOU CAN SEE MY BUTT!
Me: HAHA! WHAT?!
Chandler: LOOK! YOU CAN SEE MY BUTT IN THE PICTURE!
(she hands me the camera and it’s zoomed in)
(we both start laughing hysterically)
Chandler: IT’S MY FIRST PORNO PICTURE! DELETE IT! DELETE IT!

(All twelve of us are singing happy birthday to Mrs. A)
Chandler: Geez…we have like a whole choir singing here!
Me: I bet people all the way across the restaurant are like, “What’s going on in here?!”
Chandler: And they’ll be like, “Is Jesus coming?!”

(Austin and Steve are whipping a water fountain with long leave things)
Austin: The water fountain is like Jesus! Except it’s not alive….
(Steve dives ontop of the water fountain as if to protect it)
Steve: I’m Peter!
Me: No, Peter said he didn’t know Jesus!
(pause)
Steve: Not this Peter.

Dad: Ugh! They gave us small little boxes so we couldn’t take the bread sticks!
Mrs. A: They probably got fed up with all the breadstick stealers so they gave us these little boxes!
Dad: Quick! Break them in half and stick them in!
(me and Chandler do that to one of the breadsticks)
Chandler: It’s gonna get soggy!
(Dad explains our predicament about stealing breadsticks to the waitress.)
(pause)
Waitress: That’s what these are for.
(she pulls out a bag designed specifically for breadsticks)
(we all start laughing REALLY hard)
Chandler: Look, I tried to smuggle one out.
Waitress: Busted.

(We are all talking about what would happen if one of us died)
Me: I bet if I died, Davidson would be like, ‘Oh! Life is good. Want some chips?’
Tovia: No, if you died he’d be like, ‘Oh, life is good!’ and then if I died he’d be like, ‘want some chips?’

Shannon: I hate my mom!
Donna: No, you don’t.
Shannon: Yes, I do! She’s like the devil.
Donna(in totally serious voice): What would you do if she got in a car accident?
Shannon: What?! Don’t tell me that!
Donna(serious and violent voice): What if she DIED?
Shannon: Don’t tell me that!
Donna(satisfied): You don’t hate your mom.

(we are talking about sex and how we should wait for marriage)
Christina: Well, guys, to be honest, sex isn’t all that great…
(Donna smacks Christina with a rolled up piece of paper)

(I’m really delirious and hyper)
Me: Okay, SO. You know how your elbow bends?
Austin: Sarah, everybody’s elbow bends.
Me: Wait, you didn’t let me finish!

Chandler: What if I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life?!

Me: CHANDLER. That is NOT possible. God made you beautiful so you would get a boyfriend!

Chandler: That's not true! I'm gonna be single and old and ugly and sitting in my house eating nothing but rice krispie treats.

Me: Well, even if that does happen, you can just be like Mother Teresa and help all the little children!

Chandler: I think I'll just have to be a nun.

Me: What?! Don't be a nun! Nuns don't ever do anything to help society!

Chandler: Mother Teresa was a nun!

Mom: I KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO! You can be like that girl in the Sound of Music and watch the seven kids and marry the Baron!

Chandler: Yeah! I'll be a nun and do everything wrong and watch the kids and get married! But...I'll have to make sure the wife's dead.

Me: So, you'll just have to kill her first.

Chandler: Yeah! That way I can fall in love without a guilty conscience!

Evan: Do you want a brownie?

Me: YES!

Evan: Get a mug!

Me: I don't get it.

Evan: Do you WANT a brownie?

Me: Yes?

Evan: So, get a mug!

Me:...I don't get it.

Evan: It's a recipe for three minute brownies! Now go get a mug, dangit!

Me: I'm not getting a friggin mug until you tell me what it's for!

Evan: I JUST DID!

Me: LIAR!

Evan: Just go get a mug!

Me: Okay, I have a mug.

Evan: Alright, now go get some flour.

Me: Wait, I lied! I can't do this yet!

(the next day)

Evan: So do you want a brownie now?

Me: Yes.

(me and Chandler follow his directions and make the brownie mix.)

Evan: Okay, now put it on a plate and microwave it for three minutes.

(after reading this text message...)

Chandler: Just...pour it on a plate? Won't it be all flat?

Me: Maybe...it rises...

Chandler: Can't we put it in a bowl so it at least has some shape?

Me(to Evan): Can't we put it in a bowl?

Evan: No, you have to keep it in the cup!

Me and Chandler: OOOHHH!

(we cook the brownie and take it out of the microwave.)

Me and Chandler: Erm...now what?

Evan: You eat it.

(we eat part of the brownie)

Chandler: This doesn't taste like brownie!! This tastes like...hot cocoa!

Me: And it looks like a loofa!

(Chandler proceeds to text Evan)

Chandler: I am very disappointed! This does not taste like a brownie! It tastes like hot cocoa flavored sponge cake!

Me: How art thou?
Chandler: pretty good...i'm eatin' jellybeans!
Me: LUCKY!!! My mom tried to buy us jellybeans...but they ended up being more like gobstoppers. :|
Chandler: too hard?
Me: No, they just looked like jellybeans and in actuality were similar to gobstoppers.
Chandler: wait...gobstoppers...aren't those like..."you can't chew them because they're too hard."
Me: No...you suck on them...they're the kind you have to suck on.
Chandler: ...this whole conversation...
Me: ...is making me laugh.
Chandler: is it making you laugh for the same reason it's making me laugh?
Me: I don't know...why are you laughing?
Chandler: because it's chock full of that's what she said's.
Me: ...yeaaah...hahahahaha Oh my GOSH.
Chandler: whhhat?
Me: Just re-reading it all in that context is HILARIOUSER.
Chandler: i'm doin'' it.
Me: I'm dying! I'M DYING.
Chandler: "No, they just looked like jellybeans and in actuality were similar to gobstoppers." HHAHAHAHAAH
Me: And then, "you can't chew them because they're too hard." "No...you suck on them...they're the kind you have to suck on."
Chandler: AHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOSH! SO FUNNY![

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ahem, sorry. I do like our quotes. I'll bet you readers think we're slightly insane but THAT'S ok! haha.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Stars Over Terabithia by Kryptale reviews
As their freshman year of high school kicks off, Jess and Leslie deal with being different, unthinkable tragedy, and the mystery behind a long lost diary, all the while finding a way to strengthen the incredible friendship that they share. Please R&R!
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 69,000 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 11/1/2018 - Published: 8/12/2007 - Jess A., Leslie B.
Forever in Neverland by destiny's sweet melody reviews
Jane is faced with an impossible decision: grow up and forget Peter or stay forever in Neverland. And who is this new pirate out for revenge? And is it just Jane or does Peter look...older?
Peter Pan - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,021 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/7/2013 - Published: 3/15/2007 - Peter Pan - Complete
Five minutes to midnight by skye is the limit reviews
Two strangers show up in Venice, and they stumble upon the Thief lord and his gang. Together, everyones lives are affected by everyone else. Secrets are revealed and I'm getting hungry. So read the story and review!
Thief Lord - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,572 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/3/2012 - Published: 3/28/2007
Harry Potter and the Dawning of Twilight by Shadows de la Nuit reviews
A bit of light humor. Twilight and New Moon have magicked themselves into the halls of Hogwarts, putting some wellknown characters under their spell.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 25,610 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 1/7/2007 - Complete
No Such Thing by lorann reviews
Years later he found her, and wanted to see her again so that things could go back to normal, the way he liked things. But the girl never saw him, because nothing would ever be the same." Not in the norm of things, I'd say.
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,289 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 3/8/2008
Life would have Been Paved with Good Intentions by kelseasc413 reviews
Disclaimer: I own nothing. What if Rose knew Jack's intentions when he let her stay on the door? Would her actions have changed anything?
Titanic - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,750 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Rose D., Jack D.
The Weakness of Ron! by SpiceChaiPrincessOfDoom reviews
Ginny prevails! Ron is threatened by Ginny, and must fulfill her requests! NOT INCEST - finished, finally though last chapter is a bit of a joke...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Ron W. - Complete
Childhood Dreams by Why444444 reviews
After Scipio is changed into an adult, Hornet and Prosper don't hear from him again. Then, one day this new kid comes to school and Prosper is afraid he will steal Hornet from him.
Thief Lord - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,695 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 3/4/2007
Burning Muggle London by Meri Kaisla reviews
Harry, Voldemort and a cup of tea.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,843 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/7/2008 - Published: 12/15/2006
Tina Sue Goes to Hogwarts by snowflake99 reviews
For those days when you just need a laugh at the expense of a mary-sue.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,256 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2008 - Complete
What If Snape Died by witowsmp reviews
What could've happened if James Potter had been unable to save Snape's life? This story follows what Harry's life could have been.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 72,661 - Reviews: 840 - Favs: 759 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 11/29/2007 - Published: 6/1/2006 - [James P., Alice L.] Harry P. - Complete
Left Behind by MBP reviews
SPOILERS for DH. I can't get the Weasleys out of my mind. How did they cope? Each chapter is dedicated to a different family member or friend. Now complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,376 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/5/2007 - Published: 7/23/2007 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
Bridge to Terabithia Continued by Akanu reviews
A continuation from where the book Bridge to Terabithia left off. This account is Closed, subsequent chapters are to be under account: Dimension4. Read chapter 2 for details. Story will be transferred indefinitely and updated: July 6.
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 2/25/2007
Left Behind: A Teenage Story by Jasuten reviews
Yea... this is basically about a preteen boy that is left behind in the rapture of the church. Read to find out more. Please R&R.
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 9/27/2006
Why Did Destiny Choose This? by xXBe.My.ObsessionXx reviews
He wanted to be with her. It was his decision to pick her. But it had led me to tears. I say it was destiny. Destiny had chose this to happen. Desiny had said that it wasn't meant to be. But Why Did Destiny Choose This?
Hannah Montana - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 57,881 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/19/2007 - Published: 3/14/2007
Moving on by miss.f.ron reviews
This story continues on after Bridge to Terabithia The movie Ended off. Jess is still greiving, but he has a new neighbour, that may be able to save him from his memory. JessOC
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,422 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/15/2007
Opposites attract by victoriacole reviews
Opposites fall into the past, Literally! Can these two get past their differences and become friends to get back to their own time? Read and Review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,492 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/15/2007 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Forgetting Queen Susan by Keketra reviews
Susan tries to explain why she forgot
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,706 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/21/2007 - Published: 3/3/2007 - Complete
Pan's Nightmare by SquirrelOfDoom reviews
Peter Pan's nightmares are destroying the Neverland...and only one girl can save him. Rated T just in case!
Peter Pan - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,934 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/20/2007 - Published: 4/3/2007
The Next Meeting by xGreenDiseaseX reviews
Ginny't thoughts about Harry on the day of Bill's wedding, then Harry and Ginny talking after it. The first chapter really sucks, and in my opinion the second is much better. Rated for some language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,165 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/6/2007 - Published: 4/26/2006 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Philipians 4:8 by SqueakyTheDuck reviews
A rap I made up based on Philipians 4:8. Please read and review.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 80 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Complete
The Boys' Obsessions by ArtsAndCraftsMajor reviews
Little story involving 4 to 6 people HG RHr GS HOC ROC HrD You'll probably laugh.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
Groundhogs at Terabithia by MadTom reviews
BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA 2007 fanfic. The morning after the end of the movie, Jesse Aarons gets a call from music teacher Miss Edmonds inviting him to go to a museum with her and he sees Leslie's parents' car in front of their house! Was it all a dream?
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,364 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 3/25/2007 - Published: 3/18/2007
Last Battle of Terabithia by MadTom reviews
BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA 2007 Fanfic Oneshot companion piece to GROUNDHOGS AT TERABITHIA. Not a sequel to GROUNDHOGS but a much darker alternate universe as to how Jesse Aarons deals with his loss.
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,941 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Complete
When Peter met Wendy by SquirrelOfDoom reviews
Basically,a different version of how Wendy got to Neverland.The first chapter is lame beyond all reason. But bear with me.It may get extremely fluffy once I get going...can't decide if I'm going to or not. I tried to make it funny...really I did!
Peter Pan - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,518 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/24/2007 - Published: 3/15/2007
A True Queen by NarnianMelody reviews
Jess thinks of Leslie during school. LDD
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/20/2007 - Complete
Dragon Scales by ashtara-dragon-queen reviews
I made this, the only tie it has to anime is that I used some anime names. Ratted to be safe.Read and Review, please no flamers
Anime X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,034 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/20/2007 - Published: 3/10/2007
Come Away With Me by anakinslove reviews
What if Padme really convinced Anakin to come away with her and raise their child? If ObiWan couldn't bring himself to get on Padme's ship and kill his friend, hoping Padme would convince Anakin to come back to the light? An alternate ending to ROTS.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,333 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/16/2007 - Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker
Only The Best Friend by xXBe.My.ObsessionXx reviews
That happens when you feel something more than's expected? What happens if you like someone more than they like you? What happens, when it causes things to change?
Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,410 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/14/2007 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Complete
A Memoir by Schrei reviews
Ginny recalls her four most important moments with Harry. Dark, not happy, do not read if already depressed. Please r&r
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 987 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Ginny W., Harry P.
Life before Death by victoriacole reviews
This is what Lily was doing the night she died. This is my first FanFic, so be nice and read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 247 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/3/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Death Of Spongebob by fenfenrocks reviews
A Spongebob Murder Mystery. Who killed SpongeBob?
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,856 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/8/2006 - Published: 8/29/2006 - Complete
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Dear Anonymous reviews
A letter that I wrote from Jesus' perspective on us leaving Him.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Complete
Summertime reviews
Leslie moved two years ago and Jess is a bit lonely without his best friend. However, when he gets an unexpected phone call from her, the two plan on her coming to visit for the summer. LLD
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,983 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2008
Hermione's Parents reviews
Ron...those...they're my parents!"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,418 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/4/2008 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Aztec Treasure Lies in Waiting reviews
How did Barbosa find the charts leading him to the Isla De Muerta? He stole them from Jack of course! But...where did Jack get them? Full summary inside.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, William T./Bootstrap Bill
Too Soon reviews
Emily Ross has a terminal illness so she and her family are moving to New York so that she can spend her last days surrounded by family.They are traveling in third class on the Titanic and had no realization that Emily's death could be sooner than expecte
Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,081 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/26/2008
The Love of God reviews
Read the title :D
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Complete
I Am Stumbling Blindly reviews
Basically sums up how I'm feeling right now in my Christian walk.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Complete
Peter Pan and Superman Unite! reviews
Superman needs help and who better to help him than Peter Pan? Sounds crazy, but read it! You never know, you just might like it! :D
Peter Pan - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/20/2007 - Published: 5/30/2007
The End reviews
An alternate ending to the movie in which Rose decides not to throw away the Heart of the Ocean diamond necklace. Reviews are much appreciated! :D
Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 901 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/11/2007 - Complete
Benny and Joon and Sam Also reviews
Joon moves into her new apartment and Sam comes over to help her out.
Movie X-overs - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 526 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/12/2007 - Complete
The Bridge to Terabithia: What Happened After reviews
How Jess deals with what happened at the end of the book.
Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 11,902 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/22/2007 - Published: 3/5/2007 - Complete
How the Wedding Day Should have gone reviews
I didn't like the wedding day of Lana and Lex in the TV show....so I twisted it around to my liking.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/17/2007 - Clark K./Superman, Lana L./Valkyrie - Complete
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