Your Baby Daddy
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Joined 02-12-07, id: 1218822, Profile Updated: 07-24-13
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Did my milkshake bring you here?

Junior majoring in PR, sorositute, your baby daddy, and so much more. I have no filter and a tendency to say and do things that make people very, very angry. I won't apologize for voicing my opinions no matter how controversial they are.

Some people say I'm funny? I just say I'm brilliant and sexy.

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Bear Creek Road by Jonesn reviews
He smelled nice, I noticed, not that I was blatantly breathing him in, even though I totally was – blatantly. All soap and sawdust from a slab of freshly cut lumber. All man. AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 76,874 - Reviews: 2412 - Favs: 1,432 - Follows: 2,230 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 5/12/2013 - Bella, Edward
The Art of Getting Fluffed by ChocolateSparrow reviews
Like every professional, Edward Cullen needs the right tools for the job. But what happens when they just don't work anymore? Cue Bella Swan, an expert at being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The adventures of Bunny and Fluff. Short funny chapters rated M for a reason.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 68,100 - Reviews: 4375 - Favs: 1,653 - Follows: 2,884 - Updated: 11/4/2013 - Published: 3/17/2013 - Edward, Bella
Mafia Princess by tufano79 reviews
Isabella del Cigno is the daughter of a famed mob boss. She wants for nothing and is the epitome of a mafia princess. However, the family is grave danger. First by Aro Volturi, the head of the Volturi Family. Secondly by the FBI. Edward Cullen is a Special Agent chosen to infiltrate the del Cigno syndicate. Can he fulfill his obligations for the FBI and still keep the girl?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 3447 - Favs: 599 - Follows: 854 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 5/29/2013 - Bella, Edward
Wild Turkey by Tardis19 reviews
Bella Swan's life had been turned upside down, but she hadn't thought things could get worse. She was wrong. Life as she knew it was over the minute her father drove them pass the sign that said Welcome to Wild Turkey Island, Alabama, population 1,200. Yeah, life officially sucked. AH, M for language and possible adult situations, Teen fic.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 97,090 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 9/20/2013 - Published: 5/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Straight-Up Interference by savannavansmutsmut reviews
Bella befriends Marcus, a mobster's son, and ends up interfering with a federal investigation. She's sent off to stay with Marcus's geeky antisocial uncle, who lives in a remote cabin, until things cool down with the Feds. It starts a little Marcus & Bella, but this is definitely a Bella & Edward story. AH Rated M for Lemons and Language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 40 - Words: 101,468 - Reviews: 2437 - Favs: 982 - Follows: 989 - Updated: 9/16/2013 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In Pursuit by Sarge's Girls reviews
A normal night out changes everything for two innocent sisters, who stumble upon something that will change their lives forever. Two brave U.S. marshals have to keep them hidden and keep them safe. How far are they willing to go to do what's right? Are the consequences worth it all? AH/Canon Couples/Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 266,630 - Reviews: 4989 - Favs: 2,662 - Follows: 2,588 - Updated: 9/8/2013 - Published: 3/31/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullen Legacy by pattyrose reviews
Legacy - A gift; sometimes unknowingly bestowed. Bella met Edward in a London pub, never imagining where each would be 7 years later: he a Congressman fueled by ever-growing political ambition, she the woman with an explosive secret that can end all his dreams. But Bella might soon find that revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that Edward may harbor his own dark secrets.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 44 - Words: 233,203 - Reviews: 14985 - Favs: 4,606 - Follows: 4,490 - Updated: 8/19/2013 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dancing In The Dark by jaxon22 reviews
"You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark. This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark." Immersed in a world of dance, drink, drugs, and women, Edward Cullen is the ultimate bachelor. Until he receives a late night phone call that changes everything. AH E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 104,612 - Reviews: 6151 - Favs: 3,433 - Follows: 4,671 - Updated: 7/19/2013 - Published: 11/30/2012 - Edward, Bella
The Boy At Table Seven by LyricalKris reviews
Life for a young waitress can be pretty mundane. The highlight of Bella's week was the lunchtime visit from the three sexy mechanics from across the street. Then one day there was a little boy at her table left alone.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,511 - Reviews: 6745 - Favs: 3,781 - Follows: 3,944 - Updated: 7/16/2013 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
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Daddy I'd like to Fk reviews
He's older. He's a slut. And he's her dad's best friend. He's everything Bella can't have. But that doesn't stop her from wanting him. Will something special come from this infatuation or is she just a hit-and-quit for Edward? Lemons on lemons on lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 111,896 - Reviews: 1237 - Favs: 1,325 - Follows: 2,204 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 6/9/2013 - Bella, Edward
Love is gone reviews
Sequel to The Perfect Cullens Nextdoor. When the Cullens move away, what will happen to Bella's friendship with Alice. Her semi-relationship with Edward, and the rest of the Swan-Cullen bonds?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,063 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Perfect Cullens Next Door reviews
The Swans and The Cullens are Neighbors, and Edward and Bella are off to a rough start. Will Bella continue hating Edward, or will his looks distract her true feelings? All Human. The families are sort of mixed up. Pics in Profile
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,314 - Reviews: 959 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 7/2/2008 - Published: 8/18/2007 - Complete