Hello, hello. Welcome to my new home of insanity. Nah, just kidding! But I warn thee now: I may say things that might offend you. BUT I DON'T CARE! Frankly, I don't care about your emotions or beliefs. Okay...just had to get that across. I'm eighteen and I live in a tiny place in Nevada. Most of my time is spent on writing, reading and playing music. I'll write about anything, read almost anything, and I can play just about everything (musically, anyway. Honestly, I am the biggest English/proper grammar nerd you will EVER meet. If I'm not correcting people, I'm talking. I'll hate you forever if you say the wrong thing or just do something stupid. Plain and simple. I'm a very, very, VERY angry person. Piss me off and you'll be in for a beating...a verbal beating. That's how I roll. It's just what I do. Yup yup! Since that's over, I guess I'll make a list of all my favourite things!
My Favourite Books
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
The Harry Potter Series
The Great Gatsby
The Picture of Dorian Grey
Something Wicked This Way Comes
To Kill a Mockingbird
Lord of the Flies
A Tale of Two Cities
The Phantom of the Opera
Secret Window, Secret Garden (short story by S.King)
My Favourite Movies
The Phantom of the Opera
Beowulf and Grendel
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
The Lord of the Rings--all of 'em!
Star Wars--all of 'em!
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The Ninth Gate
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Gone with the Wind
Singin' In the Rain
The Ghost and the Darkness
The 40 year old Virgin
The Princess Bride
Children of Men
My Favourite Actors
My Favourite Actresses
Soundtracks (like movie soundtracks)
Things (and people) that I'm not to fond of.
Wells (ha! that's a given!)
Fruit (I'm allergic to it all!)
Seafood (also allergic!)
France (I'm allergic to everything!)
People in general.
And now, I will give to you what I think are some of the best quotes ever. First, I shall begin with books.
"Even in it's innermost depths, youth is lonelier that old age."-The Picture of Dorian Grey
Okay, well the life of my book quotes was cut short. Sorry. I forgot some and others I just don't remember. I'll get back to you on that... Skipping many things, I jump to my friends (and some of the stuff that I've said):
"Yeah, that can happen." -Megan, talking about...EVERYTHING!
"Gosh, he's so fruity, he's a VEGETABLE!" -Kaylie, talking about Orlando Bloom and his fruitiness.
"Sometimes I think I'm a genius. Other times, I'd rather not talk to myself." -Myself about myself
"What do you mean she'd dyslexic? Her handwriting looks fine to me!" -Joanna, talking about a note that I wrote to Mrs. Dalton.
"Yeah, everyone in my family is tele-pathetic." -My sister, trying to talk about being telepathic.
"I hope you die in a forest fire!" -Karlee, talking to a bush (in Italy) that wouldn't leave her alone.
"You did what with who for how many jelly beans?" -Karlee again...don't ask.
"You ran over who's dog with a cemetery?" --Karlee...what a strange kid!
Ben: Did you use the bathroom
Ben: Markus said we have to use the bathrooms.
Me: Well, Markus isn't my bladder, is he?! --Europe trip...
Da'in: You suck.
Megan: You suck.
Da'in: Your mom.
Megan: Your face.
Da'in: I like my face.
"This cabinet smells like baby puke!" -Markie.
"You can't spell 'icky' without Viggo!" - Either Cindy or myself, about something I'd rather not remember.
"...when the crows rooster. Oh, I mean, when the rooster crows. God, Salome. You're stupidity is rubbing off on me!" -Jena Ventarucci, during our Robin Hood play.
"I was like, Frodo! What the fuck are you doing?" - Myself, talking about Sin City
"I could never not mispronounce my f's." --Megan, talking about her past speech impediment.
"You know, my mom thinks that I have ADD. But I don't think so. Ooh, look llamas!! I love pandas!!" --Me...don't remember!
Shawn: Arrgh me mateys!
Megan: You want me to WHAT you?! --Randomness of AOT trips!
"Hey, let's go run around the hospital parking lot you guys!" --Suzie, when we took our AOT coach to the hospital to get stitches.
Cera: Three-horns don't play with long necks! (From the movie Land Before Time)
My sister: Oh, that's where racism started. The damn dinosaurs!
"What about snackdrabons?" --Alyssa Cromie, in Biology
"Thomas Edison!!" --Maggie, when we were in American History, and my teacher asked a question about T. Roosevelt.
Lion 1: No, say it sexy. Carrrnes asda.
Lion 2: Carnes asda.
Lion 1:Say it sexy, like Ricardo Montavan. Carrrrnes asda .
Lion 2: Carrrnes as...Ricardo Montavan? --Taco Bell commercial. You know you like it.
Cindy; It's not fair! Why did he get hot after I left?
Me: And the scary thing is that he's popular, too. He's like Chad and Tad off the FairlyOdd Parents. Except, he's white...and black...He's WHACK!! --Cindy and I, discussing Shawn.
Cosmo: Geology, geography, geometery. I don't see what the problem is, they all start with 'j.'
Wanda: Here's another 'j' word for you: J'IDIOT! --FairlyOdd Parents...I love Cosmo
"Ah! Man egg! Bad for my psyche, but good for my hair. Ah!" --Timmy Turner, FairlyOdd Parents
Cindy: How do you spell 'psyche?'
Me: Well, how do you spell 'psycho?'
Cindy: Ph...--starts laughing-- That makes a 'f' sound! --Nevermind.
"No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay." --Timmy Turner, FairlyOdd Parents
"I don't have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for others." --Daria Morgandorffer, from Daria
"L...M...Q...squiggly line." --Rocko, from Rocko's Modern Life
Boy: Jane, you ran like the wind!
Daria: Have you ever heard her break wind?
Jane: DARIA!! --Daria
"Where's the milk, damn-it?" --Jake Morgandorffer, from Daria
Cindy; Gah! Forgive me for being hjman!
Me: --Laughing so hard I can't reply--
Cindy: GAH! HUMAN!! --Conversation about spelling things incorrectly. Ironic, huh?
Tommy: Are you hungry? Me: Sorta.
Tommy: Then you better fix somethin' then.
Me: But I don't wanna fix it if it's not broken! --I was like, eight. And it was funny at the time.
Patrick: I'm mad.
SpongeBob: What's the matter, Patrick?
Patrick: I can't see my forehead. --SpongeBob SquarePants
"Don't ask me any questions right now. I'm grumpy and will probably make fun of you." --Effie Kalagaris, SisterHood of the Traveling Pants
"Elf envy...they all had it." --Orlando Bloom (the FRUITY FAIRY THAT HE IS!) on the cast of LotR.
Cindy: I knew that was coming.
Me: You should by now, anyway. --IM conversation, talking about adding stuff to this very profile.
Phantom: (singing) You will curse the day that you did not do...
Me: (singing) Me!
Phantom:(singing)...all that the Phantom asked of you! --Me, watching Phantom of the Opera for the first time.
SpongeBob:(After their pants rip off) Yellow... Patrick: Pink...
BOTH: YOU DO CARE!!
SpongeBob: (Walking away with Patrick) Friends forever, huh Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah...you know these were white when I bought them. --Again, the corrupt tv shows of Nick.
Dustan: Oh! Okay, I get it now. (Pretends to drop something) Okay, now bend over!
Dustan: You heard me! BEND OVER!
Me: That's it! I quit! This wasn't in the job description! --Dustan and I, in Drama, practicing a scene...that's not part of it.
BOTH:-- Laughter. For ten minutes.-- --American History word search. You'd of had to have been there!
Cindy: Gah! I was so mad! Saphira has feathers on her wings!
Me: She's not supposed to have wings! --Talking about Eragon and how terrible it is.
"Arf arf, to you to, dog boy! If you need me, I'll be on your butt!" --Cosmo. 'Nuff said.
"I thought that you said plastic surgeury...I'm keeping them!!" --Cosmo.
Megan: I like to tease her.
Me: But it's not nice to tease Da'in!
Megan: I know, but it's fun!
Me: I mean, she grew up in Korea, for cripes sake! --Talkin' about Da'in, after I 'stole' Sam from her.
Jonny: I believe that the Queen is...woah! What was that?
Jonny: I stepped on something crunchy.
--Five minutes later--
Me: I found the crunchy! --There was something crunchy on the stage!
Me: You're supposed to kneel.
Me: You're supposed to kneel. KNEEL, DAMN YOU!
Dustan: (after thinking for a moment) Eww!
Me: You sick freak!
Dustan: I've been violated!
Me: It's no better than what you told me to do!
Dustan: That's right. BEND OVER! --This was a time when he liked me...this was at Drama.
"Good. Or else I would have to beat you with a stick. A really big one. Named Damn Stick von Lichtenstien!" --Me.
Kaylie:(In a staunch British accent) You cheat!
Me: (In same accent) I do not! I just simply find a better way to win!
Kaylie: KARMA! KARMA! Karma, I say!
Kaylie: Karma will get you! KARMA! KARMA, I SAY! --We were playing teatherball. Don't ask.
Megan: Yeah, I have a Perkiset. But I've been saving it for a special occasion. (Looks at me) 'Cause they make you all tired and wonderful.
Me: Yeah, and you're going to slip it in Bill's drink. And take advantage of him!
Me: DATE RAPE!
Megan: Yeah, I'm going to slip into his drink, then mug him and take away his innocence.
Me: DATE RAPE! --Don't ask.
"You know, I don't even make self to my sense! Wait..." --Me, talking about...well, myself.
Tommy: I need one of them!
Me: A riding mower?
Me: Tommy, we don't have enough land to need one of those!
Tommy: Yeah, but it takes me two hours to mow the backyard, Steph!
Me: Then start earlier! --We're weird. Let's leave it at that.
Cindy: So, did you beat your computer with Damn Stick?
Me: Uh, no.
Cindy: Oh. Why not?
Me: 'Cause he's currently pre-occupied.
Cindy: Doin' what?
Me: Being stuck in Shawn's ass! --It's true. And you know it.
"Maggie, you can sit where ever you want except in the first or second chair. Ha." --Me.There are only three chairs at Kaylie's bar.
"I saw a bright, colourfull ball flying towards my face and all I could do is stand there and go: AHH!" --Me, talking about Kaylie's inability to play teather ball.
Dustan:Dar, how can you threaten such a...bounteous lady?
Sam:(In the back, with his hands to his chest) With such massive amounts of land! --Drama is rather...interesting.
Me: Kaylie, wake up. Kaylie, the movie's over.
Kaylie: (Waking up) I wasn't asleep! --That's Disney for ya'.
"So, did you like your wisit to the Vatican?" --I love you Marcus!
"Marcus, why are you a wegetarian?" --Thank you, Karlee!
Drake: The Peruvian bell pepper, only found in South Am-er-e-kah.
Josh:(Pauses and looks at Drake) AMERICA! --Obvisously, Drake and Josh. Damn Nick.
"I'm not judging you." --Megan. She's like that.
Dustan:(Looking at his sword) I should throw this up there.
Me: You should, but there's noting for it to stick in.
Dustan: Throw like in Braveheart, that would be awesome.
Me: Like I said, nothing for it to stick in.
Dustan: Shawn's leg?
Me: Yeah, throw it!
Dustan:(Smiles) Okay! --Dustan. For being Shawn's best friend, he likes to beat the crap out of him.
Kaitlin: Can you see that smiley face? I can barely see it from here.
Kaylie: What about Dustan? Can you see his ugly face from here?
Dustan:(Looks up) HEY! --That's Kaylie for ya'.
Kaylie: Gah, it's so cold!
Me: Ah! Quit your bitching before I beat you with a ham! --We were looking in the outside freezer for food. There's a lot of ham.
Adam:Robohand. Now all we have to do is build the rest of our superhuman robo-ninja and we could take over the world!
Jamie: Okay, you do that. --I love those two!
"I'd dance with you till the cows came home. On second thought, I'd dance with the cows till you came home." --Grucho Marx, from Duck Soup.
Note reads: We take daughter, us want land.
Mr. Wong: It's the Martians! I know it them because they no use good grammar. --Mr. Wong, Futurama.
Dane: Hurry up, Steph!
Me: Give me a minute!
Me: I can't find my clothes!
Mom: Whud ya' do, Scout? Forget your ham? --She's been calling me Scout ever since. Damn her.
"Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. EVERYBODY LOVES CAKE!" --Me.We seem to have a lot of one type of food at me house.
Maggie: Mr. Woolsey, you're a moron!
Bob: Well, it's better to be more on than off. --He's an ass, can't ya tell?
"If I had any dignity, that would have been humiliating." --Adam Savage, you know you love him.
"It's almost like we knew what we were doing, isn't it?" --Jaime, he's a character.
"He stopped it!...with his head." --Tory...he's there, too.
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." --Adam.
(After dogs go flying through a window)
Jerrico: Hey, dick face. Have you seen my dog?
Cane: Have you tried the lobby? --Blade 3, it cracks me up. HA HA!
"Did time just jump around a bit or did my brain stroke off there for a moment?" --Thank you, Professor Farnsworth.
"Devin, don't make fun of people or else we'll have to kick you in your bad leg." --Ms. Hunsaker, my health teacher. Strange, huh?
Me: Ah, poor Gus! Stop pickin' on him!
Bree: Yeah, poor kid! What'd you ever do to him? Wait... --Thank you, Bree.
"I played in every game that I played in, okay!?" --Kendra...she has no idea what she's talking about.
"It's so good to get hard help around here!" --Megan, you sure that you know you're lines?
"...the same, isn't that strange. What brings you to Pance?" --Melora, she's as bad as I am! The word is Paris...
Bonnie: (Whispering) You need to be meaner.
Me: (Whispering) What?
Bonnie: Milady DeWinter needs to be meaner.
Me: Be what?
Me: A beaner? WHAT?
Bonnie: Beaner? No! MEANER!
Me: Oh, I thought you said "beaner!" --What people talk about during a performance...
Erik: Yeah, I understand.
Me: At least you do.
Erik: Would you like me to break his leg?
Me: Oh yes! And his neck!
Me: Oh, and please. Rip out his heart with a spoon!
Erik: That I can do. --Even the janitor thinks that Dustan was out of line! YAY ERIK!
Myself: I'm going to make a sign that says "Drama Club." Kaylie: Okay.
Myself: If you find any letters that I need, give 'em to me.
Kaylie: 'Kay...Drama club...Oh! Here's an "E!"
Myself: Why do I need an "E?"
Kaylie: Because "Drama Club" has an "E" in it.
Myself: No it doesn't!
Kaylie: Yeah, it does.
Myself: No, Kaylie, it doesn't. That would be "Drama Clube!"
Kaylie: Oh...my bad. --She can't spell.
Myself: Gah! I can't find any capital "R's!"
Kaylie: I'm sorry. Here's a lower case one.
Myself: Let me try it. (Puts the "r" on the paper) Ugh!
Myself: Now it looks like "Dr. Ama Klub!" --Yes, I spelled club with a "k."
Kendra: Mrs. Combrink, are you saying London or Lohn-dan?
Combrink: London, I'm saying London.
Jon: Yeah, you know. Like London, France?
Me: Don't you mean England? London, England?
Jon: England! I meant England! --Thanks for the stupid people...
"Oh...it says something on it...(looks at Cindy) My birth control talks to me." --Yeah. I'm just a little weird.
"Oh, don't throw a cow! Wait..." --Cindy needs to think before she speaks...
Amy: Are Megan and Bill to-gether?
Lisa: No, but they should be.
Me: Yeah, they should. They're perfect for each other.
Glen: I always thought that he was more of Cameron's type. --Lisa's birthday...
"What is this? The unofficial 'drop your shit here' zone?"-- Me talking to Dane as we were driving around in the desert.
Me: I'd have my brother kick your ass!
Aaron: He wouldn't do that! Your brother loves me!
Me: More than you know...
Aaron: What?! --I love to mess with Aaron's head...
Cindy:...you know me and my addiction to Internet.
Me: I know, me too. We should go to Internet Anonymous to-gether. (mocks FairlyOdd Parents) 'Hello, my name is Timmy!' --Oh, the woes of our conversations...we're dumb and nerdy!
Myself:(On Y! Messenger) Hey buddy!
Myself: Who are you?
Cindy: Gee. I don't know. Let's go ask that llama over there!
Myself: Llama? I love pandas! --We need a life, seriously!
Dalrie: There's a spoon sticking out the back of Chris' hat.
Me: That's weird.
Dalrie: Yeah it is.
Me: Some one must have tried to eat his brain, then found out nothing was there and just left the spoon as evidence. --Choir is quite fun.
Me: Taffy, this is really good!
Tiffany: I know. I'm awesome. LIKE A FISH!! --People are weird. Especially the ones I know.
Kevin: I can't wait for my birthday. I'm going to be in Vegas.
Me: Have fun with that.
Ms. Graf: Why are you going to be in Vegas?
Kevin: 'Cause strip clubs are legal! --The kids in my band.
Me: (On Y! Messenger) Ooh, look! Llama!
Cindy: A panda!? Where?!
Me: Somewhere over there! Near that tree filled with peanut butter!
Cindy: Yay! The Purple Ninja Of That One Really Evil Guy!
Cindy: What's that about Hitler's ass?
Me: It's a hairy monkey named Eric! --You don't want to know...I don't even know...