Author has written 42 stories for Naruto, Jet Grind Radio, Ben 10, Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, Bleach, X-overs, Mass Effect, Batman Beyond, Rosario + Vampire, Avatar: Last Airbender, High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D, RWBY, and Daily Life with a Monster Girl/モンスター娘のいる日常.
Name : Chris Ruff
age: 25 as of March
I'M DONE!! 08 GARD OF UHS!! YOU KNOW
Hobbies: watching anime, playing games, hanging with my friends and overall driving, Also collecting manga
To everyone: I like to read and write fanfiction. That's all I can thik of. I also like to thank those who like my fiction.
Fav animes: Naruto, Hajime no ippo, BLEACH, Gun grave, Last exlie, Black Cat, S-CRY-ED, Zoids, Read or Die, Inuyasha, Death Note, Buso Renkin and Outlaw star ( and to many others to name)
Fav pairrings for Naruto, Inuyasha, Black Cat and Bleach.
(Naruto, Neji, Lee, and Kiba with any girl. I don't like Sasuke)
Naruto with any Dude
Top 10 Anime Charecters
1: Zoro (one piece)
2: Fuuko (Flame of Reeca)
3: Brandon Heat/ Grave (Gun Grave)
4: Tenten (Naruto)
5: Setsuna F. Seiei (gundam 00)
6: Kira Yamato (Gundam Seed/ Gundam Seed Destiny)
7: Renji Abarai (BLEACH)
8: Michelle Cheung (R.O.D. the T.V.)
9: Ryoko (Tenchi Universe)
10: Eve (Black Cat)
Top 5 Badass Anime swordsmen
1: Zoro (one piece)
2: Tokiya (Flame of Recca)
3:Toshiro Hitsgaya (BLEACH)
4: Kenshin Himura (Ruroni Kenshin)
5:Ryoko Mitsurugi (Real Bout High School)
top 20 sexy, yet bad ass Anime chicks
1: Tenten (Naruto
2: Anko (Naruto
3: Nico Robin (One piece
4: Soi Fon (BLEACH
5: Ami/ Sailor Mercury (Sailor Moon
6: Riza Hawkeye (Full Metal Alchmist)
7: Nel (Bleach
8: Saya (H.O.T.D)
9: Major Mitoko Kusinagi ( : Ghost in the shell
10: CC (Code Geass
11: Rangiku Matsumoto (BLEACH
12: Ryoko (TenchiSeries
13: Natsuki & Sakura Kitsune (Hyper police
14: Marie/ Soma Pireze (Gundam 00
15: Marlene Angel (Blue Gender
16: Kurohime (Kurohime seires
17:Sword 9Kurohime seris
18: Moka (Rosario Vampire
19: Fuko ( Flame of Recca
20: Ami & Lita (Sailor Moon)
Top 10 Anime Organizations
1: CP9 (one piece)
2: The band of 7 (inuyasha)
3: the Chronos Organization/Numbers (Black cat)
5: Section 9 (Ghost in the shell)
6: The Black Knights (Code Geass)
7: The Gotei 13 (BLEACH)
8: The Fortress Briggs (Full Metal Alchemist)
9: Straw Hat Pirates (One piece)
10: Holy (S-CRY-ED)
Top 10 anime organizations out there that could and most likely would put their collective boot up someones ass.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend named Common Sense, whom has been with us for many years.
No one knows how old he was, since any record of his birth was lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always ‘fair’ and ……maybe, just maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student that only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student – but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot: she spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge $ettlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his “parents”, Truth and Trust; his “wife”,Discretion; his “daughter”,Responsibility, and his “son”, Reason.
He is survived by three “stepbrothers”; “I know my rights”, “Someone else is to blame” and “I’m a victim and entitled to compensation”.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Pass this on….. if you still remember his name.
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black.
98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message into your profile.
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "damn that was fun"
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile
If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
f you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
go to the movies. Ashley heard
Ashley approached the movies that night
Ashley sat right behind them. she
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
told jack "Do you want to come to my
replied "hell yes."
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
around and Ashley watched the whole
The next day at school Ashley wasn't
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
commited suicide because she had loved
body was a note.
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
Courtney's house and I will continue to
do something like this to me. I really
for you just
like Jesus died for us.
Always with you, Ashley
Please foward this or Ashley will
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution
A great Character and a funny host
You will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
Links to pics
ZODIAC SIGNS (Bold your Zodiac Sign) - I found mine to be really funny. It's because most of it is true. Especially the part about being extremely weird.
AQUARIUS - The Slut
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO - The Cool One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER - The Smart One.
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES- The Irresistible One
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS- The Aggressive One
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN - The Cute One
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One
Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
For those that may agree with this, please fell free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
EDIT: Just made a forum on this to, should be on the profile, not sure if that will help.
Agato the Venom Host
The Dark Graven
Lord Orion Salazar Black
Kumo no Makoto
Korraganitar the NightShadow
Final Black Getsuga
Mystic 6 tailed Naruto
Darth Void Sage of the Force
Shiso no Kitsune
swords of twilight
bunji the wolf
Ying the Nine Tail Fox
Gin of the wicked smile
The wolf god Fenri
The Unknown 007
The Lemon Sage
Eon The Cat of Shadows
swords of dawn
The Immoral Flame
The First Kitsukage
Her Dark Poet
Shen an Calhar
Zero X Limit
Single Silver Eye
Zaara the black
To the Fiction world. I've been gone for far to long. Just so you know I will be making a permanent return within the next few months. My mind is ready to explode with ideas.
A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 13. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't...