Author has written 10 stories for Sailor Moon, and Inuyasha.
KaTiE - LeE
hey hey ppls... I'm Katie, also known as Leigh
Between work and study... it's hard to update freaquently... so please be patient.
I have a WICKED immagination... just one small problem, that is to actually write them in stories. I mean, yea I'm having a go, but that's like what 5 stories.. maybe more now... and each time I write, I like get TONNES of ideas for new stories... it's so hard to keep up with my imagination... I'm just kinda glad that my stories that I have wrote have made sense with all the mumbo jumbo stuff in my head when I write... though maybe people just haven't said anything cause maybe they think that's what it is meant to be like?? Mmmm... makes me wonder... but I do know one thing for sure, ALL my story's, at some point, change! both, the writing style and main plot of the story! but it still males sense! I know, WEIRD!
ANYWAYS, please tell me what you think of my stories, and what I can do to make them better... I can only learn from my mistakes. hehe XD...
Mmm... well if you ever want help with immagination, or story lines... please do come... my mind, it like... it works over time... just a pitty it thinks and what ever on other stuff other then school... hehe... but it can't be helped... or can it?? . . . . dum dum dum...
In any case! Have a scroll down and have a few laughs
! PLEASE !
Be honest about my stories and add a coment about what I could do better, because we can only learn form our mistakes, lol, I feel soo wise now, lol... ALSO, if you are going to write a flame of something, BE CREATIVE!! DAMN IT!! and maybe write some tips and hits as to how it would be up to your standards... and also be a bit specific as to what you actually don't like... yeah?
If you have any suggest for my stories, or need help or ideas, please don't be affraid to ask... I will not bite you're head off, lol... my mind works over time... so pleanty of immagination to go around... hehe
Also, if you happen to be a guy please tell me, cause I have always wondered if guys actually read fan fiction... or even write it... so it would be very interesting to know if they actually do... thanks...
! About Me, Myself, and I !
ME, I'm Me. My Life, It's boring. And I, Well I AM YOU'RE WORST NIGHTMARE, MUAHAHAHAHAH. Nar it is boring too. Tell us about u :)
honestly, everything about me is boring because I'm at school, and when you have soo many assignments due, you have no social life, but don't worry, I find time to socialise, lol...
-\/- STORIES -\/-
Okay, well, I like reading/writing about:
- Sailor Moon
- Full Metal Panic
- And MANY MANY more...
- and soo many other anime, but i won't add them as theres too many... lol, that's a start
!! Random Stuff for Fun !!
If you think flamers should get a life, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
92 percent of American/Canadian teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you agree that you seriously have a problem when you start actually replying to yourself like there are two people in the room than copy and paste this in your profile.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
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-\/- A Lesson in Percentage -\/-
10 of the time i smile, My smiles are for you.
20 of the poems i write, are poems bout you.
40 of the night i sleep, i sleep dreaming bout you.
50 of the songs i sing, are songs i sing bout you.
70 of the lies i tell are to cover my feelings for you.
90 of the time i think, i spend thinking of you, &
100 of the maths i do, is not maths, but bout you !!
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-\/- Questionair -\/-
Just a few questions that i thought you might like...
1. If you throw a cat out the window, does it mean it becomes kitty litter ??
2. Does virgin wool come from sheep the shepard hasn't cought yet ??
3. Last night i layed in my bed gazing at the stars, & i thought, where the fuck is my ceiling ??
4. Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes ? Wouldn't it be easier to hire taller dancers ??
5. If barbies soooo popular, then why do you have to buy her friends ??
6. If a turtle lost his shell, does it mean he's homeless or naked ??
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-\/- Funny Story -- Lizard -\/-
Get ready for a huge laugh ...
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will ahve you have you laughing out LOUD !
Over view: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he help prisoner in his room.
"He's just laying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious mum. can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom.
One of the littles lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stresed. I immediatly knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh my gosh!," my husbane diagnosed after a minute. "she's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Dad!"
"I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my husband.
"Well what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" He inquired. (I actually think he said this sarcastically!).
"No, but you were suppose to get two boys!" I reminded him. (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," he informed me... (again with the sarcasm, you think?).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced."We're about to witness the miracle birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny lizard babies?" my husband wanted to know. (I relly do think he was being snotty here,
too, don't you?).
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, then vanish a scant second after.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"Its breech," my husband whispered, horrified.
"Do something, mum!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gental tug. It disappeared.
I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 000?" my eldest son wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the truma." ... (you see a pattern here with the men in my house?).
"Lets get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.
We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breath, Ernie, Breath," he urged.
"I don't think lizards do lamaze," his father noted to him.
(Men can be so cruel to their own young). I mean what he does to me is one thing, but this boy is of his lions, for goodness sake.
The vet took Ernie back to the examining roomand peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-Section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmered.
"Mr and Mrs Cameron, may i speak to you privatly for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my husband asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us.
"This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen ... Ernie is a boy. you see, Ernie is a young male, and occasionally, as they come into maturity,
like most male species, they um... um... maturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."
He blushed, glancing at my husband. "Well, you know what i'm saying, Mrs Cameron."
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So Ernie's just... just... excited," my husband offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.
Then my vicious husband started to giggle. And giggle, And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded knowing, but not believing that the man I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless femininity.
Tears were running down his face.
"It's just... that... I'm picturing... you pulling on it's... it's... teeny little..." he gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned.
We thanked the veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car.
He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, mum," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my husband agreed, collaapsing with laughter.
2 lizards - 140...
1 cage - 50...
Trip to the vet - 30...
Memory of your wife pulling on a lizard's wacker - PRICELESS!!
Doesn't anyone know lizards lay eggs ??
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-\/- Little Billy On ... -\/-
Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little Billy replied, “My grandfather lived to be about 107 years old.”
“Oh?” replied the man. “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
“No” replied Little Billy, “He minded his own fcking business!”
A teacher asked her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”
She calls on Little Billy.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little Billy says, “I have question for YOU! There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice-cream:
One Is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice-cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice-cream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Billy replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on’, But I like your thinking.”
Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in Arithmetic.
“Why?” asks his father.
“The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2x3?’ I said 6,” replied Billy.
“But that’s right!” Says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me, ’How much is 3x2?”
“What’s the fcking difference?” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!” replied Little Billy.
Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, “today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
Billy says “Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, Little Billy, that’s a mouthful.”
Little Billy says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blwjob.”
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “Beautiful” in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
“My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“very good, Suzie,” said the teacher.
She then called on Little Michael.
“My mummy planned a beautiful Banquet and it turned out beautifully.”
The teacher responded. “Excellent, Michael!”
Then, she reluctantly called on Little Billy.
“Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘beautiful, just fcking beautiful!’.”
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-\/- Subject: Australian Tourism Website - Priceless -\/-
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, How do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them all die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA).
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden).
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden).
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK).
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA).
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.. oh forget it. ... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA).
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK).
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA).
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK).
A: You're a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany).
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense Rattlesnake serum. (USA).
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA).
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France).
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA).
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France).
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on RR, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA).
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA).
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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-\/- 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER -\/-
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
-\/- BLONDE JOKES -\/-
p.s...i am kinda blond... :D... As my classmates like to describe me...
A VIOLET CRUMBLE!! blonde on the inside, brown on the outside... but they describe the brown on the outside WHITE chocolate, so yeah...
BUT they are right...
-)(- Puzzle Play! -)(-
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." he sighed, "...let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
-)(- Blonde driver -)(-
One day a blonde is driving home when she rear-ends a man in his truck. The man stops and yells at her to get out of her car, so she steps out and tries to apologize.
He then draws a circle in the sand and tells her to stand inside and not to step out. He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, walks over to her car, and smashes in the window.
She begins to giggle, so he looks back at her angrily and tells her to be quiet. Then he starts beating in the hood of her car.
She giggles again, and he turns to her and says, "You're askin' for it, lady!" Then he smashes in her windshield.
By this time the blonde is laughing hysterically, so he looks at her and yells, "What's so funny!?"
She laughs again and replies, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle three times."
-)(- A Blonde Painting -)(-
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blond girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather them old cloths or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For best result, put on two coats”.
-)(- Blonde’s can’t swim -)(-
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quiet upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blinde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, “You dumb bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”
-)(- Betting Blonde -)(-
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bets the red head 50 that he wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead 50.
The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying, “No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said, “Listen, I have to tell you that u saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied, “Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”
-)(- Pretend Intelligence -)(-
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair, so she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock or sheep and thought, “Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guess, “157”
The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, the farmer walked up to her and said. “If I can guess the real colour of you hair, can I have my dog back?”
-)(- Bad Book -)(-
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”
“Yes, Ma’am?” said the library looking up to her.
“I borrowed a boo last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complaint, the librarian asked, “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So you must be the person who took out the phone book.”
-)(- Blonde Detectives -)(-
Three blondes were witness to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognized the suspect.
“Easy,” she replied. “He only has one eye.”
The chief was stunned. “He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!” he repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
“He only had one ear,” was her answer.
“What is the matter with you people?! It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!” He repeated the procedure of the third blonde, then said, “How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.”
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, “He’s wearing contact lenses.”
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn’t tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, “How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!”
“Well,” she said, “He can’t wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?”
-)(- Game of Intelligence -)(-
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane.
The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde, wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
With out saying a word the blond handed him 5. Then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placed numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00.
The blonde put the 50 into her purse with out comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What was the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5.
-)(- You’ve Got Blonde -)(-
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox again, opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, she went back into the house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder then ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘You’ve got mail!’”
-)(- Horrific Accident -)(-
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage with out a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state troopers arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blond began. “I was driving along this road when from out of know where this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was …”
“Uh, ma’am” the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
-)(- The Magic Mirror -)(-
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, of one tells and lie, then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up but the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks, walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” – “POOF” – The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the sexiest woman alive.” - “POOF” – The mirror swallows her,
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think…” - “POOF” –
-)(- Are You Really Sure? -)(-
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde jokes?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him syas, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
“Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6’ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5” pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gunna have to explain it five times.”
-)(- One Blonde can make a Difference! -)(-
At least that is what the blonde in this joke thought.
She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn’t like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart.
In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn’t an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.
A few later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past – she would set these men straight!
Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, “It isn’t true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state and I will tell you what it is.”
Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, “Ok, how about Arizona?”
The blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer, “A!”
-)(- Did You Hear About -)(-
The blonde couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
The blonde got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “4 to 6 years”
She couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; she answered “C”.
She baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, she complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
!! Friends !!
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
-\)(/- GOOD BYES -\)(/-
Well, if you are right down here, congadulations, you have just read all of my bio/profile... hope ya liked it, lol, especially the Blonde Jokes... my personal touch... hehe... Also, if there was something that you felt was very offensive, I apologize...
Yours truely, Katie-Lee:), Over and Out...