How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with your eyes darting around the elevator
Hello! I'm Remordere, and I'm a classic lurker if there ever was one. So if you're here actually reading this then I guess I've probably insulted you with one of my psychotic reviews and you were curious or something.
So, well, I dabble in pretty much everything (As you can see in my Favorites; the best of the best in my opinion. My Favorite Authors also have some rockin stories, check it out). Also, if anyone would ever like to chat (exchange ideas, gush fangirlishly over shared obsessions) I'd be more than happy to talk to you!
Romance, in general, could be considered the antithesis of anything having to do with good common sense.
For what good does romance do anyone, really? It is a catalyst of dangerous potency, unable to leave any it touches unaffected in some way or another. It can bring about wars, set into motion a folly or failure, topple the dominos of any well laid plan. Romance, more than anything else, is a curse upon society and those who seek to uphold it.
Romance, however, must never be mistaken for love.
Romance is the immature infatuation of youth that yells, "I want you, I need you, I can't live without you." Rather, love is the mature decision of the wise that snarks, "I know you, I tolerate you, and I guess I can learn to live with you."
Therefore it should come as a surprise to no one where the greatest of love originates. No love can sprout from sudden, passionate attraction, as no emotions were ever involved in the first place, and hormones are the most fickle of beings. Good love may eventually bloom from long-lasting friendship, as both parties are knowing and understanding of one another, and learn to enjoy each others faults.
However, the greatest of loves fully blossom from mutual and near obsessive antagonism and competition. Neither party may ever grow bored of loving the other, and increase their toleration daily through aggressive and spiteful battles.
But it is a fact of reality that one would never think to look for romance in their worst enemy. They are a bit too busy hating the person to allow their hearts a word in edgewise. The entire situation is deliciously ironic, and not because ones greatest hatred may turn into their greatest affection.
No, the unavoidable irony is how the entire universe bends over backwards trying to push the fated two together, while they both do their stubborn best to stay worlds apart.
In the end, love is all a matter of compatibility. Can two people truly fit together, work together, live together, and not end up hating each other?
The answer is yes and no. Yes, they can do all of those things. No, they cannot do them without hating each other, as any couple truly in love will tell you. There is hardly a day that goes by when a couple in love cannot claim, at least once, to completely loathe the other's existence for an undetermined amount of time for some unspecific reason. Because the other deserves it. Because they're having a bad day. Because it's therapeutic. Simply because they can.
And, in the end, they wouldn't have it any other way.
- Jane Austen
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