Name: Jason Tombs

Ethnicity: African-American

Height: 6' 8"(Believe me, being so tall is not as awesome as people seem to think)

Weight: 286lbs.

Occupations: Director, Actor and sometimes everything in between for Hell's Gate Films; part-timer at the local gun store

Bio:

I live in Pennsylvania

I graduated from Penn. State University

I'm an Atheist, though I prefer the term "Pearlist"(PEARL is an acronym standing for Physical Evidence And Reasoned Logic, however, I find it easier to just say I'm an Atheist and leave it at that since most people don't know what a Pearlist is). FYI, "PEARL" is a term that, as far as I know, was created by(or at least brought into popularity by)a man who goes by "Thunderf00t".

I've got a forum here on the site, called Devilkeys' Playground. There's a thread for just about everything over there, from writing advice and fanfiction recommendations, to video game reviews and humorous rants. It's open to the public and new members are always welcome, so come on over if you're interested!

Things I Hate/Dislike:

Racists

People who don't take responsibility for themselves

Monkeys, don't ask why

Jackasses

Bad movies

People that have no pride in themselves

People who bitch and moan for the sake of bitching and moaning

Political Parties - ALL of them

Overly religious people that keep telling me I'm going to go to hell, ENOUGH, I know! I already have an apartment picked out. (Right by the River of the Damned, very nice.)

People who will talk to you for hours and interrupt you when you try and talk, then get mad at you when you don't say anything

People who tell the same unfunny joke multiple times...when no one laughed the first time around

"Waterproof" cameras that don't work as advertised

Flimsy tripods

Lawsuits

People who keep trying to step into the frame when you're trying to film a scene

Badly written stories that the authors keep going, usually due to the fact that they get nothing but praise

Stories that are rated M, but have no blood, gore, language, or sex

Yaoi, especially the truly weird and disturbing Yaoi(i.e.: NarutoxSasuke...Not exceptionally creepy, per se, but add a little something known as "mpreg" to that and you get one of the many definitions of the word "Abomination")

The complete overload of Yaoi on this website for certain series and characters(i.e.: Digimon series, Daisuke/DavisxTaichi/Tai, etc...)

People who hate Rock/Metal, and all it's variations(this one is reserved for the people who say Metal is nothing but a bunch of incoherent screaming and random instrumental noise)

People who never make any effort to improve themselves

People who can't properly spell the names of anime/manga characters...even when they are ten chapters into the story

And many, many, many, many, MANY more things that I don't feel like typing down.

Things I like:

My girlfriend

My friends

Anime

Manga

Good AMVs

Music(I'll listen to *almost* anything)

Pro Wrestling

Mixed Martial Arts

Motorcycles

Fast Cars

Firearms

Knives

Explosives/Pyrotechnics

Special Effects

Good Movies

Good movie soundtracks

Video Games

And many more things(A pretty vague list of things, but there's no real reason to go in-depth with it)

Favorite Anime/Manga:

Digimon(specifically Season 3)

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Love Hina

Green Green TV(fuckin' hilarious!)

Chobits(also quite funny)

Ranma 1/2

Hellsing

Darker Than Black

Witchblade

Ogre Slayer

Elfen Lied

Desert Punk

Claymore

Attack on Titan

Sekirei

RosarioVampire

RWBY

And a few more.

Note: Naruto and Bleach *used* to be on this list, but both franchises have been circling the drain for a while now, and have been booted.

Personal Quotes:

I'mo kick yo' ass!(At the start of EVERY video game binge)

I can feel my braincells committing suicide(When I'm extremely bored)

I'm sorry, what now?(When I'm ignoring someone)

Fan-fuckin'-tastic!(Sarcasm)

Congratu-fuckin'-lations!(More sarcasm)

You think I give a good goddamn?!(You know you've had these moments too)

I'm going to rip your spine out and use it for a coat hanger!(One of my favorite threats since I was twelve)

Whooptie-fuckin'-doo!(I think this is called "Sarcasm")

There may, or may not be something living in your pocket.(Little cousin after he broke my PS2 memory card)

We have a situation here!...I'm bored!(Seriously, when get bored, bad things happen)

What in zee hell?!(With completely retarded french accent while making prank calls)

Hey, fuck you, man!(Tony Montana accent optional)

Caffine'll kill ya'!(After reading an article about some guy drinking four cans of Monster energy drinks, running outside, then getting hit by a bus)

LIAR!!(To get the full effect of this, you have to throw a random object at someone before saying it)

Death waits for no one, but I'll give you a ten second head start.(A T-shirt that I made)

Don't give me a reason, no one will miss you.(And if they do, well...)

Put a cock in it!(One time some drunk chick at a bar actually did just that, not to me, but it was hilarious)

Is there a pill for what's wrong with you?

You know, it might've helped if you had bigger tits. I still wouldn't have listened to you, but at least I'd have had something to stare at while you rambled on.

Touch me and die.(To anyone who doesn't know me, but still thinks they can be all chumy anyway)

When life give you lemons, punch it in the face and take some apples.(Seize the day, motherfuckers!)

You just HAD to say something, didn't you?!(When someone says, "At least 'this' didn't happen", then it happens)

You have just been violated!!(I have a habit of shooting people in the ass with the shotgun when I play Halo)

Take Captain Hook out of your ass and let's go!(Weird Halloween party)

I want a good, clean fight...here's some bottles and a couple rocks, LET'S GET IT ON!!(Whenever someone says, "Let's take this outside" when I'm in a bar)

Did you feel...molested when you woke up?(I warned him about that woman, and that's all I'm saying)

I'll sodomize you with a rusty chainsaw!(I keep one in the tool shed...just in case)

Find the kid that no one talks to, and talk to him every day. You'll live longer.(Personal motto of mine ever since grade school)

There are easier, and less painful ways to commit suicide.(To anyone that pisses me off)

Give me a dictionary, I'm going to smack some knowledge into you!

What the hell do I think about when I'm asleep?(Woke up once with my pillow stuffed down my shirt like body armor)

There are things going on in my mind that I don't even know about...(Watched "That 70s Show" and found out that this was true)

Well, when zombies eventually take over the world and eat our brains, look on the bright side! You'll have a lot of hot blonde chicks to keep you company!(Do I really have to explain?)

Are you always this stupid? Or are you making a special effort just for me?(Said to many an Idiot at Taco Bell)

I'M IN UR HOUSE STEALIN' UR PORN!!(I've actually called someone just to tell them that)

Now then, a couple things about my stories:

Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto

I am well aware of the fact that the earlier chapters of this story aren't really up to snuff in comparison to the later ones. And while that's normal for stories as long as this one, that doesn't mean I like it. Sure, it's pretty cool being able to track my evolution as a writer, but reading through those early chapters is something of a chore because I keep finding things I want to change or get rid of. I would overhaul them, but I don't have the time.

I did it with the first chapter, and that alone took over a month and resulted in a doubled wordcount. So if I did it for every chapter that needed it, it would be well over a year before I ever got around to updating. So I'll have to ask you guys to just bear with it until I can fix what needs to be fixed.

Tamer of the Hazard

This story is still active, despite the time between updates. The problem is that between Black Flames and random plot ideas, there isn't a lot of time left to devote to TotH. Plus, I'm just not getting very many ideas for it; and the ones I am getting are for scenes that won't take place until MUCH later in the story. I've got nothing for the here and now.

The plan was to start the next chapter with a fight between BlackGatomon and an upgraded Soulmon. But as I started writing it, it became clear that this kind of fight scene was a bit more..."abstract" than what I'm used to writing. It's not a major fight, so I'm trying to keep things short, yet satisfying. But that's proving to be a bitch and a half, so I might end up scrapping it altogether.

Update 12/20/2013: Finally got passed that fight scene. Not exactly rolling yet, but progress has been made!

Update 12/20/2014: A full year later, and I've got all of two paragraphs to show for it...Fucking hell.

Update 4/22/2017: You know what? Fuck it. Consider this story on indefinite hiatus. It WILL return, as I've written far too much for it not to. I just don't know when.

Tamer of the Night

For all intents and purposes, this fic is dead. It was just on "indefinite hiatus", but now that I'm planning an complete rewrite, it's 100% flatlined.

The rewrite, whenever I get around to it, will focus on the origins of "Agent 17". Meaning, we'll get to see when Takato first joined The Agency(despite the organization name, agent aliases and some assassination methods, the story will have NO relation to the Hitman video game series), and how he got through his training. It will also explain how he went from a pipsqueak, to a 6'4" "giant", and why everyone just seems to accept it without question(Hint: it wasn't natural at all).

The rewrite will basically focus on things I had planned to explain via flashbacks in the original story. Somewhere along the line, I found that the flashbacks would make for a better story than the main story itself, and hopefully you guys will agree.

UPDATE*

As of 12/08/2012, Tamer of the Night has been adopted by "moonrose221". No idea what he/she will do with it, but it's out of my hands now, and I can't say I'm sad to watch it go.

Now, some things I feel I should address here, so I don't have to keep saying them over and over whenever I update my stories.

Challenges

I DO NOT DO CHALLENGES. EVER.

If I can't even keep a decent update schedule with the two active stories I have, what makes you think I want to add more onto the workload? I'm flattered when people apparently think I'm a good enough author to be trusted with bringing their own ideas to life, but that's just not what I do.

And it's not just about having another story eat up my writing time. By definition, a challenge-fic is written for someone else. That means there are constraints involved; things that you HAVE to do in order to stay within the guidelines of the challenge. I don't fancy being limited like that. I find that when I have limits imposed on what I can do, I lose a lot of the drive to write, and the story suffers for it.

And then there's the fact that you can't really take your time with it, as you're basically under contract. It's just a whole bunch of crap I'd rather not deal with.

Suggestions

I do take suggestions for things like character names, techniques, weapons and even story arcs. But I do NOT accept suggestions for entirely new characters. My stories already have enough OCs in them(more than enough, depending on who you ask), and I'm not looking for more.

And notice I said "suggestions", not "demands". If you come at me with orders to do things your way, I'm just going to laugh at you. I don't care how you think the story "should" be. If you don't like the way it's going, write your own. But as long as it's my story, what I say goes. Don't like it? Take 10, add 4, divide by 7, subtract 2, and you'll be left with the number of fucks I give.

Guest Reviews

Before the whole social networking integration deal, I had anonymous reviews disabled. Why? Because that added sense of complete anonymity seemed to do nothing but embolden the assholes around here, since they could say whatever they wanted and there was nothing you, as the author of the story, could do or say about it. Yeah, we're all technically anonymous anyway, even those us who go by our real names in addition to pen names. But when someone leaves a review as a member of the site, you can at least reply to it and defend yourself and your work from needlessly vitriolic attacks.

So, as you can imagine, I was pretty pissed when they took away the option of disabling anonymous reviews. But they also gave you the power to moderate them, so it worked out just fine. But really, the douchenozzles who leave their little guest flames don't bother me. That shit gets rejected immediately.

No, my problem is the "Guests" who ask questions. Questions I can't answer, because I can't reply. Because there's no account for me to send a reply to. Just yesterday(12/19/2013), some jerkoff left a "review" for Black Flames complaining about some bullshit I can't really remember(only skimmed it before deleting). But I do remember him/her saying "I want to know", in one form or another, at least twice. Well, obviously he/she didn't want to know, otherwise they would've taken thirty seconds out of their oh, so busy day to make a damn account so I could reply and answer their lame-ass questions.

So, aside from flames, I've got no problem accepting guest reviews. BUT, if your guest review contains questions, and nothing else, don't be surprised if you never see it on the review page. Not being able to answer questions drives me nuts, so guest reviews asking about characters, plot points or whatever else will also be deleted. Sorry, but that's how it is, and that's how it's gonna stay. Nowadays, there's absolutely no excuse not to have an account here, since they did away with that waiting period they used to have.