Jacob brought sexy back
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Joined 03-16-07, id: 1239316, Profile Updated: 03-21-08

See, the way Edward carries himself just oozes confidence and arrogance. When he walks into a room you know he's going to be a conceited, smart-ass son of a bitch, and you're going to adore him for it.

I love him! -clings to book-

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51 Things Emmett Cullen Is Not Allowed To Do by twilightnite reviews
Based on the indifferent child of earth's one-shot/list. The story behind the list. Think you know everything about Emmett? Think again. Any brain combustion, confusion, or gut busting can't be held against us. Read at your own risk. Enjoy! No.4-5 up now.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,454 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 251 - Updated: 12/8/2011 - Published: 2/15/2008
How to skip class: Cullen Style by InMyOwnWords reviews
This is how the Cullens get out of that boring, tedious place we call school.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,717 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 8/4/2007
Fairytales by KookieKrazy reviews
The mermaids look over Fairytales and edit them to make sense.
Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,479 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/31/2010 - Published: 8/15/2007
Joke that Went A Bit Too Far by sunchaser116589 reviews
Bella comes over to the Cullen's house. When no one comes to meet her, she figures she'll surprise them. Instead, she is the one surprised. Features OOC characters, in some parts. Oh, and walruses. Bad summery, but kinda funny story. Oneshot. Saftey rated
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,582 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 2/10/2007
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2130 - Favs: 3,539 - Follows: 1,644 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Grounded? by twilightobsessed428 reviews
Edward and Rosalie get grounded. How? Read to find out. Off its unofficial hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,454 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 8/10/2006
CENSORED! by fullmetalcanchan reviews
In which Kyo and Haru get freaky, and I leave it all to your imaginations.
Fruits Basket - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 38,825 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 5/22/2006 - Hatsuharu S., Kyo S.
What Would the Neighbors Think? by Point of Reason reviews
What WOULD the neighbors think if they lived next to Bella? Just for fun, completely not serious. Still. Read and Review! Over 5,800 hits.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,065 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/17/2009 - Published: 6/19/2007
Forbidden Passion by YoricksSkull reviews
What happens when Edward accidently catches his forbbiden fruit, not being so inncocent? B&E Beware the tides of Lemons!88,000 plus hits! Read REVIEW and enjoy! A twisted tale to get hooked on.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 33,800 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 3/22/2009 - Published: 10/12/2007
The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE! by LindaRoo reviews
Hilarity ensues when Edward comes back at the end of New Moon and he and Alice get Mrs. Cope to change their schedules to put them in Bella's gym class. How can they appear human when their superhuman athletic aptitudes keep getting in the way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 74,371 - Reviews: 1979 - Favs: 2,230 - Follows: 1,680 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/27/2007
Twilight is Published! by Murmmer reviews
What would happen if Twilight was published in the Twilight world? What happens when half of Forks reads Stephanie Meyer's new Best Seller, Twilight? What will Bella and the Cullens do? After all, Bella just had her personal thoughts PUBLISHED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 21,712 - Reviews: 1280 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 558 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 6/25/2007
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2868 - Favs: 2,064 - Follows: 972 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Camping trip by Nayame reviews
Bellas friends ask her if she's in for a camping trip. Alice, Emmet and Edward are coming, too - let the fun begin! With this constellation, no one knows what will happen next... Contains major fluff and the characters aren't too ooc
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 85,890 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 11/21/2008 - Published: 5/19/2007
A Great And Terrible Beauty: A Busy Reader's Guide by ThreeOranges reviews
A slightly slashy parody of the novels A Great And Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels, with The Sweet Far Thing as Chapter 3, just added as of 220908
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,555 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Complete
Really bizarre Midnight Sun Parody I was Bored by Peace is GOODandsoisrent reviews
Um, I was bored. You don't even have to read it, I was bored and a little hyper. Please ignore. rated K just in case you guys can't take the word sexy.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 792 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 9/9/2007
The Lemon by Insanity's Partner reviews
Searching for Jane Austin fanfictions, Edward and Bella find a purple link that reads 'Twilight' on a certain fanfiction website... Oneshot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,137 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Complete
Self Tanner by Insanity's Partner reviews
I pivoted in the mirror, staring at my naked, orange body. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea, after all. [Edward ponders the effects of Self Tanner on a vampire.] [Oneshot]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
Emotional Edward by Insanity's Partner reviews
Upon leaving Bella, Edward is grotesquely depressed. Wait a minute....is that eyeliner?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,180 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Complete
Sneaking a Look at Bella's Diary by lbj reviews
Edward is in Bella's room one night when he sees her journal sticking out from under her pillow. He begins to read....find out what happens. Between Twilight and New Moon. EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,106 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 7/20/2008 - Published: 5/15/2007 - Complete
The Weird and Wonderful Tales Of The Cullens! by HolliiiCruiser reviews
Random, funny, and sometimes sad situations between everyone's favorite family of vampires and Bella! I'll keep them coming, if you keep reading them! Ch. 35: Bella meets Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter when she ends up in her refrigerator. RANDOM!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 30,460 - Reviews: 458 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 7/1/2008 - Published: 4/26/2007 - Complete
When Edward Sings by afsluv reviews
I'm back from the dead to bring you an update! finally! chapter 13...i think...is up! go read and review please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,075 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 7/30/2007
Notes by musical-gerbil reviews
What do our favourite Twilight characters do when they're bored during class? Why, pass notes of course!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,145 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 5/19/2008 - Published: 11/9/2006
The Cullens Gone Mad by Waffles-r-after-me reviews
A developing relationship, a shiny wand, Elvis Presley, oak trees, and Jaspina? Yup. It's all in this fanfic and MORE! Waffles urges you to satisfy the hunger that is ravenously tearing at your laughbox and read this enchanting story....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,175 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 3/14/2007
Pocket Pinups: Portraits of the Cullen Family by CullenLove reviews
Several moments from the hilarious life of the Cullen family. Warning: beware of pumpkin suits and thongs!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,454 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/14/2008 - Published: 10/9/2007 - Complete
When I Think About You I Touch Myself by thefoodsnob reviews
Bella is commited to waiting until they are married before Edward fulfills his ends of the bargain,however Edward is making it as hard on her as he possibly can.When Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Renee, Jessica, and Angela intercede, it's a recipe for pure comedy
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,058 - Reviews: 940 - Favs: 690 - Follows: 758 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 11/15/2007
Vampires And Technology Don't Mix by Just A Little Bit Dramatic reviews
[Gift for wrecking hotel rooms] What happens when all of the Cullen children and Bella go on a chatroom during class? What will they talk about? Rated T, as always, just to be safe...Chapter 3 Up!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,332 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 4/1/2007
Intoxicated by Just A Little Bit Dramatic reviews
Bella discovers the positive side of being older than Edward, and decides to have some fun of her own to get back at her vampire sweetheart for not changing her sooner. Rated T to be safe...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,856 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 7/28/2007
The Lion and the Lamb by Alphie reviews
A retelling of Twilight from Edward's point of view. Now on permanent hiatus. Please read author's note.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 112,769 - Reviews: 3222 - Favs: 2,973 - Follows: 1,762 - Updated: 1/12/2008 - Published: 2/14/2006
Truth or Dare by katcastle reviews
This is a random fic where the Cullens play truth or dare! See what crazy things these vampires will do!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,094 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 12/24/2007 - Published: 7/14/2007
Use Your Vampire Speed by CullenLove reviews
Edward and Bella's first experience of sex! Sweet, hot and steamy! [ Outtake of story 'Blood Berries', but you don't have to have read that to read this ] RATED 'M' FOR A REASON !
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,205 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 12/20/2007 - Published: 11/19/2007 - Complete
Bella's on FM frequency by passionatevampire reviews
Bella's mind is no longer on AM frequency. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,175 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 11/14/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007
A New Love in a New Light by sesshomaruloveralways reviews
Bella wants a more physical relationship with Edward. They decide to make a deal. Will they be able to handle the sexual tension that builds? Can Edward keep his control?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,912 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Complete
Roses, Butterflies, and Seashells by cheriepie89 reviews
When he was thirteen years old, Edward Masen received a rose. When he was ten, Jacob Black chased a butterfly, and when she was seven, Bella Swan wanted the pretty seashell that was just beyond her reach.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/1/2007 - Complete
Emo Boy! by afsluv reviews
Sequel to Eddie! Plz dont make me rate this M. really. But what happens when you call Jasper Emo Boy? Chaos! And warning! REALLY BIG PUN INTENDED! So plz don't hit on me saying 'oh this is retarded' and stuff like that.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,868 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 10/22/2007 - Published: 8/14/2007
Edward Cullen Must Die by IheartTwilight reviews
[AU] When 3 beautiful shevampires move to Forks with the intention of getting revenge on their player ex boyfriend, Edward Cullen, they recruit the geeky new girl Bella Swan. But what happens when Bella starts to fall in love? Uhoh!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 32,154 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 10/12/2007 - Published: 8/2/2006
The Life and Times of 'Perfection' by Monsoon Kisses reviews
Edward and Bella's daughter, Ellie, is growing up, and fast. It seems that Bella's life is too perfect. That is, until the Volturi come for what they had been promised so long ago. UPDATED SEP. 22
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,578 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 9/22/2007 - Published: 1/25/2007
Imprinted by Iamwiththewolf reviews
The missing chapter of Eclipse. Jacob imprints, reluctantly. He finds his TRUE love. And it's not Bella... Guess again... EdwardJacob slash
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,181 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 24 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Things You Should Never Do by Sadness-is-Beautiful reviews
50 things you should never, ever, ever do, as demonstrated by the good people...and vampires...and werewolves...of Forks.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,852 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 3/1/2007
Not So Hetrosexual: Inside Haru's Sick, Pervy Mind by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma reviews
Haru Sohma isn't all what he's cracked up to be. While he's not cracking up on crack, doing sleazy babes and babbling stuff that makes no sense, what does this cow really think? Read to find out!
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 12,526 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 8/13/2006 - Hatsuharu S.
Dazed and Confused by TheSmartypants reviews
For StepOnMe. Chaos ensues when Max and Iggy accidentally switch bodies. Max struggles with being blind, Iggy discovers the joys of being a girl, and Fang gets very confused... [Fax] CHAPTER THREE IS UP!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,610 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 9/8/2007 - Published: 4/30/2007
The Cullen Chronicles by llamoandllama reviews
Many, many pointless oneshots about our favorite family. Mostly lists. Including smashing Edward's piano. BITE US, EDDIE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,014 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/5/2007 - Published: 7/25/2007
Proving a Point by azamystic reviews
Wandering alone one night, Jacob Black finds himself far from where he's supposed to be, somewhere where the company is a little less...alive. Not a slash pairing, but boy!kissing is involved. The best of both worlds, I suppose.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/5/2007 - Complete
Avenging Angel by sillybella reviews
Edward's rebellious years. 19271931 A collection of oneshots.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,834 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 11/29/2006
Whisked Back by Monsoon Kisses reviews
Edward bites Bella and as she begins her transformation, Victoria shows up and kills both Bella and Edward. What happens when Bella and Edward find themselves in Chicago...in 1918...both as humans? COMPLETE! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,941 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 8/19/2007 - Published: 1/6/2007 - Complete
She's Mine by Kiss My Fang reviews
Mike loves Bella, we all know that. Just what exactly will he say to make her like him?A heartwrenching tale of boy love girl, girl love different boy, and boy who originally loved girl gets SHUT DOWN. This one will get you laughing.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,250 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/16/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
Mission: House Party by petuniagirl16 reviews
When Carlisle and Esme are away, the kids will play....Final Chapter up!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,606 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 8/9/2007 - Published: 7/20/2007
Graduation Mayhem by Saiyachick reviews
In response to the 'Celebrate Eclipse' Challenege During a graduation party, a LOT of things can happen Mentions of a dented Aston Martin, Jacob having I Love Bella Swan painted on his chest, and so much more...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,152 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/7/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I wish he was a vampire by InMyOwnWords reviews
Edward's acting funny and Bella's trying to figure out why. When she finds out...Well she's a little less than happy
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
Emmett's Mission: Stalk & Harass by HEY YOU with the glasses reviews
Follow Emmett and his accomplice, Jasper, as they stalk & harass fellow Forkians. FUNNY! Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 49 - Published: 8/2/2007
Eddie! by afsluv reviews
NO LONGER A ONESHOT people wanted me to write a sequel so im like, oh,ok and i did! i did! IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE. PLZ READ! i changed the rating cuz it is getting a little suggestive....ok thats all
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,723 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/25/2007 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Complete
Detention by leasha reviews
DISCONTINUED Bella and the rest of the Cullens get detention, on a Saturday, from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. They spend the day spying, talking, playing pranks and a bunch of other fun things. OOC. Better summary on profile.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,060 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/24/2007 - Published: 4/27/2007
A lot things Edward can't do by iluvedward22 reviews
random things my friends and i think edward cant do. read it and please review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 628 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2007 - Complete
A Day As Emmett by Any1there4me reviews
Here's a day in Emmett's shoes as he not only gets in trouble, but also performs publically for his punishment. R&R! you'll be sure to laugh! The first story in the A Day As Series!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,362 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 3/29/2007
Mike's Stupidity by Forbittenlove reviews
So, what happens to Mike when he finally decides to stop being 'discreet' and to just show Bella how he truly feels in the most physical of ways? When the Cullens find out, it's not a pleasant thing. For Mike at least. Rated T for adultish content!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,291 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 5/8/2007
Where's The Love? by MarcyJ reviews
Jasper Hale has been keeping a secret from his family. What happens when the truth comes out in the most accidental of ways?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,008 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 29 - Published: 7/5/2007 - Complete
You Know you want me by shattered-picture-frame reviews
Edward goes hunting, so he’s going to be absent for 2 days. Mike uses this as the perfect time to make a move on Bella. Edward comes back a day early. What will he think of Mike’s flirting? How will Jessica take advantage of this situation?FUNNY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,410 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 7/1/2007 - Published: 5/24/2007
Math Diss! by afsluv reviews
No, i don't have anything against Edward but this was a mini oneshot to cure my writers block for Eddie! and i'll have the next chapter up by Saturday. i still have some things to tweak.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 461 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/28/2007 - Complete
We Teach Friends Health Insanity Room 191 by L.C.Candle reviews
Notice: Persons attempting to find a Motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a Moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a Plot in it will be shot. [Formally known as Welcome to Insanity Room 191]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 24,367 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 6/23/2007 - Published: 11/24/2006
Medicine by Vampire Kisses 54 reviews
Bella and Edward are in biology. He uses the smolder eyes on her when she's keeps a secret from her, but they don't work. Bella decides its time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,273 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/22/2007 - Published: 3/22/2007
Loyalty and Love by Chedea reviews
Edward Cullen has left his family to join the Volturi. He is among the elite, respected, feared and envied. Can one human girl, placed under his charge to become a vampire, detroy all of this? What will win out, his loyalty or his love?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,645 - Reviews: 809 - Favs: 987 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Complete
7 Minutes In Heaven by Brittneys.Perspective reviews
When Bella and Edward Share an Intense Moment in the Closet During a High School Party, Edward Thinks He Has Bella Right Where He Wants Her - as His. Too Bad No One Spelled It Out for Bella. (Human)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 30,525 - Reviews: 1093 - Favs: 656 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 6/20/2007 - Published: 4/25/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Magical Effects of Alcohol! by HolliiiCruiser reviews
Someone contaminated the lakes and rivers outside of Forks with alcohol, and it just so happens Edward is out hunting. This is totally random and RETARDED! Ever wondered if Edward wears boxers or briefs? Read chapter three to find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,334 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/16/2007 - Published: 5/31/2007
Mike's New Clothes by FriendofFoes reviews
How will Mike try to get Bella this time? Mike PoV One shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/7/2007 - Complete
ExB AIM by FindMeAVamp reviews
Bella and Edward's class got assigned a secret pen pal. This is my opinion on how that little project could have turned out for our favorite couple. I got requests to continue so...here is the next chapter! hope you enjoy! review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,280 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 5/25/2007
Little Moments by Chedea reviews
A bunch of little oneshots about life with the Cullens. Because I just cant resist the urge. All of them are meant to be hilarious. T to be safe. You'll see why.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,872 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 6/3/2007 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Complete
The Torturing of Jasper by angelofmusicxo reviews
Jasper goes through more than you'd think! He catches Edward and Bella in an... awkward moment...haha! originally a oneshot but I love Jazzy too much to keep it at that! REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,360 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 5/29/2007 - Published: 5/25/2007
MR: The Angel Experiment: A Busy Reader's Guide by TheSmartypants reviews
A rather insane parody of the novel we all know and love. Featuring: bloodthirsty Angel, angsty emo Fang, and, of course, the random Monty Python references.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 914 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 28 - Published: 5/27/2007
A Little Advice by EdwardAddict reviews
Fang needs some help expressing his feelings. Who comes to the rescue? Total of course! Oneshot Fax OOC
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
Edward and the Traffic Violation by Mstar the Cat Demon reviews
Edward gets caught speeding by those newfangled radar guns and loses his license! Whatever will he do?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,246 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 59 - Published: 5/20/2007
By Any Other Name by sillybella reviews
Set in the summer after Twilight. Pointless, funny fluff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,763 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 57 - Published: 5/18/2007 - Complete
An Imaginary Date with Bella by lbj reviews
Mike is in Biology and dreaming of a fake date with Bella. During Twilight before spring break, but while Edward and Bella are going out. One Shot that turned into more because people wanted me to finish it. Mikes POV Finished!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,324 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 5/11/2007 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Complete
Truth Or Dare by musical-gerbil reviews
The whole gang, at the Cullen house, trapped inside on a rainy night. Add some boredom, and throw in Emmett’s competitiveness, Bella’s clumsy streak, Rosalie’s vanity, Alice’s quirky sense of humour, Edward’s protectiveness, Jasper’s naivety and Carlisle
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,040 - Reviews: 507 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 5/6/2007 - Published: 9/15/2006 - Complete
Coming Out Of The Closet by Bad Alice reviews
Jasper Hale has a secret...a hidden deep, dark secret...it's time his closet was opened, and his skeletons came out. Oneshot, rated T to be safe...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,196 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/6/2007 - Complete
Pool Wars by newmoon1220 reviews
Bella goes swimming with the Cullens in their pool after dusk. But the experience soon becomes a war between the Cullens as she becomes the monkey in the middle :D Entertaining, Fluffy, and Funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,397 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 4/9/2007 - Published: 4/3/2007
April Fool's Day by DerringerMeryl87 reviews
A simple oneshot. Bella plays a joke on Charlie and Edward. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/2/2007 - Complete
What's At Steak by Crystal Remnant reviews
[Pun fully intended] Jacob has a master plan to be rid of Edward. Edward just wants Jacob to go away...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 313 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/29/2007 - Complete
E! by newmoon1220 reviews
Bella tries to outsmart Edward. Oneshot! This is what happens when Edward thinks TOO hard. It's more popular than I thought it would be! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,823 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 40 - Published: 3/23/2007 - Complete
Balls ! by Darth Vyper reviews
Test and see how truly 'innocent' you are! Emmett becomes ballfetish and Jasper is caught in the middle of it all! Will Jasper truly loose his sanity? Heck, will Edward and Carlisle come to the rescue? Or will the polar opposite occur? Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,375 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/22/2007 - Complete
Butterscotch and Chocolate by I Heart Edward Cullen reviews
A series of drabbles, updated whenever. EdwardxBella. A quick laugh, a thought to chew on, and Edward angst. UPDATE: The horror of the DMV, Jacob angst, and now with tasty beta flavor, courtesy of Lomesir! Thanks for nearly 200 reviews! Much love for all!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 14,592 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 3/17/2007 - Published: 3/21/2006
Shenanigans by Amber'n'Bronze reviews
Edward and Emmett's hysterical St. Patrick's Day adventures.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,797 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 21 - Published: 3/17/2007 - Complete
Jacksonville by Shadows de la Nuit reviews
Bella and Edward decide to make their long delayed visit to Jacksonville to visit Renee and Phil. Please be aware that this story incorporates events from New Moon and therefore may contain spoilers. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,177 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 3/12/2007 - Published: 10/15/2006 - Complete
Truth, yeah right! Dare! by Chi Kartalia reviews
Do you people know how many Truthordare fics there are for twilight? Add one more people, 'cause I love them all! Now you tell me how you like mine. Three cheers if you suck at reviews! Hiphiphorray, hiphip...Oh, for God's sake, just read it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,780 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 3/10/2007 - Published: 3/5/2007
Tide Pools by Maiden of the Moon reviews
He wasn't sure why he was there... what he was looking for, if anything. But what he found was more than he expected... even if he wouldn't realize it until much later. [Edward's PoV. PreTwilight fluff]
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,231 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/3/2007 - Complete
Summer Heat by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Reaching out, I snagged a fistful of his shirt and yanked it. Hard. As I did so, I gave him my demand: “Take off your clothes.” [BellaxEdward. NOT what you're probably thinking!]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 657 - Follows: 103 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1718 - Favs: 3,121 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
For you, My Love by kajibot reviews
Their love was clearly invincible. Nothing could ever come between them, not even death. So, what happens when one day, Edward learns that no matter what he does, he cannot save her. Edward's POV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,255 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 33 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Complete
Try it on Your Piano by genealogygirl reviews
Bella and Edward's siblings have some misimpressions of Edward's human years
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,713 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 20 - Published: 12/28/2006 - Complete
Easily Entertained by sillybella reviews
Exactly how do the Cullens tease Edward before he goes to watch Bella sleep? Comes before Her Worst Nightmare.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 60 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Complete
Warm by sillybella reviews
Something besides Bella is making Edward warm...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 516 - Follows: 70 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
Definition Mental State by bibliophyle reviews
Follow Jasper as he assaults Edward and anyone who gets in his way with a plethero of unwanted emotions! Mild language and sexual references. Chapter 2 'ANGST' now here! Review peeps!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,743 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 10/23/2006 - Published: 10/22/2006
I'll Vote No by sillybella reviews
Inside Rosalie's head.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,720 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 31 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Hot Stuff by sillybella reviews
Emmett and Jasper are worried about Edward and Bella's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 142 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Kisa's Developing Boob by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma reviews
This story is a breastwarming tale about a girl who was abandoned by all, because of her boob size. Taking herself on an adventure, she gets more than her, or Hiro’s, pants could ever bargain for!
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Kisa S., Hiro S. - Complete
Inside the Sick Mind of: YUKI SOHMA by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma reviews
Yuki, you filthy, filthy man! Ever wondered what Yuki is really thinking? It's all one click away in the hilarious series, featuring Yuki like you've never seen him before! [Finally COMPLETED!]
Fruits Basket - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 13,310 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/13/2006 - Published: 4/27/2006 - Yuki S. - Complete
Obsessive Lily Disorder by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
James worships the ground Lily, er, throws him on? Includes stalking, Polyjuice potion and James attempting many acts of suicide such as drowning his head in toilet bowls because Apple Of His Eye Evans hates his guts. Or does she? Complete .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 144,021 - Reviews: 2043 - Favs: 1,959 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 6/7/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete