Kalquessa
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Joined 03-27-07, id: 1247201, Profile Updated: 04-23-08
Author has written 11 stories for Stargate: SG-1, and Supernatural.

I am a huge, geeky fan of many things. At the moment my biggest crush is on Stargate SG-1, followed closely by my obsession with Supernatural, but I've become addicted to Harry Potter fanfic on more than one occasion and there are many other fandoms that I occasionally wander into for the purpose of sampling fic. My fanfic is mostly banter for the sake of banter, because sarcasm is usually three quarters of what I love about a given show. Any fic that escapes my banter muse is usually very maudlin indeed because apparently I can't find a nice happy medium between gleeful, snarky silliness and self-indulgent angst. I hope at some point to write a fic that is just the right balance of the two, at which time I will use it to take over the world.

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Breathe For Me by Izhilzha reviews
Things tickle at the back of his mind: the snap of latex gloves, a gunshot, the flash of light off a pair of glasses. He’s not sure they’re all real. Colby and Megan in the aftermath of "Trust Metric."
Numb3rs - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,279 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Colby G., Megan R. - Complete
Tiggers Like Everything by PepperF reviews
Jack and Teal'c go bowling.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/17/2007 - J. O'Neill, Teal'c - Complete
The Nameless Seeker by Izhilzha reviews
Shepherd Book tells a fairy tale to the children at Haven. Like most stories, it contains more truth than most might notice.
Firefly - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 1/11/2007 - Book - Complete
A Little Diversion by Izhilzha reviews
Hùndàn little mercenary. Zoe and Jayne have to work together, early in Jayne's time with the crew.
Firefly - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,269 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2006 - Zoe W., Jayne - Complete
Christmas by Giesbrecht reviews
Every year, SG1 gets together for Christmas. A brief overview of just what they get up to, and ensuing traditions. Genfic, with teamy moments.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,372 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/22/2006 - Complete
SelfMedication at Oh Three Hundred Hours by Izhilzha reviews
Sam Carter’s having a nightmare. That shouldn't surprise me, but it does. Epilogue to the episode Into the Fire.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/25/2006 - J. Fraiser, S. Carter - Complete
The Queen's Return by HonorH reviews
Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia. But what happens to the one left behind in our world?
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,810 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/11/2006 - Complete
Flying Lessons by Izhilzha reviews
River likes her piloting lessons best when she has Serenity's bridge all to herself. WARNING: spoilers for the movie, Serenity.
Firefly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,066 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/15/2005 - River, Wash - Complete
Roll With The Punches by Izhilzha reviews
In a military op, you can’t anticipate every situation. So they teach you one simple rule: Roll with the punches.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 834 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/23/2005 - J. O'Neill, D. Jackson - Complete
Impossible Questions by Izhilzha reviews
Samantha Carter has some theories about the alien Noxand Daniel isn't sure he wants to hear them.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/23/2005 - S. Carter, D. Jackson - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Linguistic Dendrology reviews
Very brief humor ficlet resulting from a misspelling in one of my earliest SG-1 fics. Involves tree people. Crack may have been involved. Could be any season with the classic team.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 654 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/24/2008 - J. O'Neill, D. Jackson - Complete
Fare Le Corna reviews
A silly little banter ficlet written for my friend Izh's birthday. An empty theater, Shakespeare, and discussion of the term "cuckold." Season 1, no spoilers.
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,187 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/24/2008 - Dean W., Sam W. - Complete
Positive Reinforcement reviews
Silly piece of fluff in which Dean Winchester runs afoul of the county fuzz. Or not. Season 1, no spoilers.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dean W. - Complete
Hand to hand reviews
Sam kicks ass. That's a pretty comprehensive summary of this ficlet, as well as a general statement of approval. Season 4 or 5-ish. Violence.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 765 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/21/2008 - S. Carter - Complete
Boys reviews
Shamelessly maudlin contemplation of the men of SG-1 from Sam's POV. Season 8, spoilers for "New Order."
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2008 - S. Carter - Complete
Aggravated Destruction of Property reviews
From prompt "Jonas Quinn, Vala Mal Doran, misplace." Vala rescues Jonas by blowing things up and getting herself arrested. Season 10.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,571 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/23/2008 - J. Quinn, Vala - Complete
Girls and Jaffa Do Not Fight Fair reviews
SG-1 return from a mission-gone-wrong and recount their misadventures for General Jack. Teal'c references Star Wars, Daniel has difficulty with some chainmail and Sam has all the fun, as usual. Season 8.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,384 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/14/2008 - J. O'Neill, S. Carter - Complete
Clip Show reviews
Just what it says on the tin. Somewhat maudlin Sam fic. Weird aliens, assorted memories good and bad, blue JelloO. Season 7.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,224 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/10/2007 - S. Carter - Complete
Retail Price reviews
Humorous ficlet in which Sam and Teal'c are compelled to pay retail price for one archaeologist and one Air Force Colonel. Season 9.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/10/2007 - S. Carter, C. Mitchell - Complete
Overheard in the ICU reviews
SG1House M.D. Crossover. Gregory House vs. Janet Frasier. Banter for the sake of banter with a minuscule plot and a very sick Daniel. Season 7.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,759 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/10/2007 - J. Fraiser, D. Jackson - Complete
The Gray reviews
SG1 are in the familiar position of encountering a civilization where technology masquerades as magic. They're in for a surprise when they attempt to find out who is hiding the technology and why. Season 1 teamfic, Sam POV. Season 1.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,264 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/10/2007 - S. Carter - Complete
Amberdulen (11)
Elwen Skye (4)
Giesbrecht (8)
HonorH (39)
Izhilzha (54)
PepperF (30)
V. Laike (24)