Author has written 11 stories for Aliens/Predator, Avatar: Last Airbender, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy VII, Naruto, MÄR, Sekirei, Rosario + Vampire, Final Fantasy X, and Deus Ex.
31th January 2014-if this message is not updated by 31st January 2015 then well...I'm dead, and I imagine that it sucks, though since I am currently alive and well and putting this up as a precaution since I would hate to leave people expected me to update, I have no idea if the death thing actually sucks...will suck...whatever.
Peace out and Rock on,
Pen Name; Anzer’ke (pronounced Anz-eh-re-ke)
Actual Name; Alec
Do you like reading? Perhaps a stupid question given the url but then I'm full of stupid. Do you know what isn't full of stupid? Do you know what is in fact full of awesome? Perhaps even full of epic? This wonderful, webfiction written by a rather polite guy: Worm
Now go forward unto the link and be bored no more. Well until it ends, but I'm working as fast as I can on this time machine thing.
OKAY...YOU CAN START AGAIN
Favorite Anime &/or Manga (quite a short list);
Avatar the Last Airbender
Ghost in the Shell
History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi
To Aru Matsu No Index/Kagaku No Railgun
Rosario Vampire (& II)
Sword of the Stranger
Oban Star Racers
Ai No Exorcist
Until Death do us Part
Chrome Shelled Regios
Half And Half
Baka To Test To Shokanju
Kimi ni Todoke
Samurai Deeper Kyo
MAR (not Mar Omega which is CRAP)
Flame of Recca
My Neighbour Totoro
Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind
Hunter x Hunter
Nuraihyon no Mago
Laputa Castle in the Sky
Yu Gi Oh
Sword of The Stranger
Yu Gi Oh Gx
Favorite Movies (very partial list);
Underworld 1&2 (could someone tell me when the third one is out, because I’m pretty sure it’s a trilogy).
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Last Castle
Without a Paddle
Resident Evil 1,2&3
The Mummy 1&2
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Final Fantasy Advent Children
Final Fantasy Spirits Within
Dude where’s My Car
Favorite Books (Absolutely massive list...once I finish it that is);
Every single book ever written by Terry Pratchett. Ever.
The Old Kingdom Trilogy
R.A. Salvatore...is a god
Tales from the Old Kingdom
The Hunger Games
The Outward Bounders
His Dark Materials
Dark Magicians Trilogy
And a Whole hell of a lot more that I can't remember right now, seriously two walls of my old room were at one time covered in books four deep, cleaned it up and now get them out occasionally when I remember them.
NOT HARRY POTTER.
All Final Fantasy games except XII and XIII
Bioshock 1 & 2
Enslaved: Journey to the West
Mario...all of them
Assassin's Creed 1 & 2
Star Ocean Till the end of time
Shadow Hearts; Covenant
The Legend of Zelda
Skies of Arcadia- please will someone give me a moonstone cannon.
Aang & Toph-My First (and favourite) Ship. (Sniffs and wipes away a tear)-Taang
Zuko & Katara-Zutara
Jet & Mai-Jai
Sokka & Ty Lee-Ty Lokka
Haru & Azula-Harula
Tom-Tom & Hope-...someone help me here
Longshot & Smellerbee-Smellershot
Naruto & Hinata-Naruhina
Rock Lee & Sakura-Sakulee
Sasuke & Sakura (or rather I don't mind it too much)
Gaara & Matsuri
Iruka & Anko
Neji & Ten Ten
Minato & Kushina
Chouji & Ino
Konohamaru & Hanabi
Asuma & Kurenai
Pein & Konan
Shikamaru & Temari
Kurando & Anastasia
Yuri & Alice
Ben & Karen/Anne
Jio & Yuria
Cross & Ruby
Ball & Mei
Haru & Ellie
Musica & Reina
Let & Julia
Inuyasha & Kagome
Koga & Ayame
Miroku & Sango
Bankotsu & Jakotsu
Sesshomaru & Rin (preferably Older Rin)
Negi & (in no meaningful order) Nodoka, Asuna, Ayaka, Eva, Chachamaru, Hakase, Setsuna, Konoka, Fuka, Fumika, Kaede, Mana, Zazie, Anya, Akira, Ako, Makie, Yuna, Chisame, Haruna, Yue, Ku Fei, Asakura, Sakura, Takane, Misora and Sayo
Yes that is a Negi & Harem pairing and yes I do support it, as well as any combination of the above set (Negi & Ayaka, Negi & Fuka, Fumika etc.)
Setsuna & Konoka
Kotaro & Chizuru, Natsume, Sakurako, Misa, Madoka (same as with my Negi pairing)
Yoshina & Amamiya
Junas & Caprico
Shao & Marie
Haruhiko & Chika
Kagetora & Matsuri
Ian & Fubuki
Gutts & Caska
Isidro & Schierke
Seperico & Farnese
Tsukune & Ura-Moka, Omote-Moka, Kurumu, Mizore, Rubi and Yukari
Gin & Sun
Bus Driver & Nekomone
History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi
Kenichi & Miu and Renka
Ukita & Freya and Kisara
Sakaki & Shigure
Natsu & Honoka
Claire/Vino & Chane
Isaac & Miria
Firo & Nemis
Luck & Eve
Jacuzzi & Nice
Keith & Kate
Ladd & Lua
Gerd & Sylvie
Ichigo & Rukia
Ishida & Orohime
Kenpachi & Unohana
Uraha & Yodouichi
Star Ocean: Til the End of Time
Albel & Nel
Fayt & Maria and Sophia
Cliff & Mirage
Ginta & Dorothy
Alviss & Bell
Danna & Ginta's Mother
Phantom & Candice
Jack & Pano
Zoro & Tashigi
Luffy & Hancock
You may notice that I don't much like most happens of Mugiwara & Mugiwara...Nakama doesn't have romantic connotations in this series.
Oban Star Racers
Aikka & Molly
Zero & Kurohime
Kazama & Asura
Oyuki & Yukio
Harem for teh lulz
Leon & Eve
Train & Saya
Sven & Tearju
Charden & Kyoko
Creed & Echidna
Jenos & Rinslet
Caim & Angelus
Sieg & Arcia
Twokinds (cause it should be up here)
Trace & Flora
Keith & Natani
Flame of Recca
Raika & Fuuko
Recca & Yanagi
Oga & Hilda and Aoi
Furuichi & Angelica
Shinsuke & Shakugan
Eddie & Ophelia
Alisa & Lars
Jin & Xiao
Yoshimitsu & Kunimitsu
Billy & Eleanor
Delta & Sophia
Nier & Kaine
Emil & Yohna
Roxas & Namine
Sora & Kairi
Hayner & Olette
Sylar & ...someone(O.C. not yaoi)
Michael & Selene
Lucian & Sonja
John & Cameron
Marcus & Blair
Uncle Bob & T-X
John Henry & Savanah
John Elison & Catherine
Until Death Do Us Part
Mamoru & Haruka
Kilo & Sierra
Eragon & Saphira
Solembum & Angela
Murtagh & Nasuada
Roran & Katrina
Garth Nix('s books)
Nick & Lirael
Arthur & Suzy
Black Star & Tsubaki
Soul & Maka
Death The Kidd & Liz and Patty
Ox & Kim
Sid & Mira Nygus
Spirit & Kami
Stein & Marie
Stein & Medusa
Ashitaka & San
Yu Gi Oh
Seto & Serenity
His Dark Materials
Will & Lyra
Pantalaimon & Kirjava
Mugen and Jin & Fuu
Mugen & Yatsuha
Jin & Shino
The Legend of Zelda
Link & Midna-Lidna
Rallis & Ilia
Shad & Ashei
Syd & Felina
Enslaved: Journey to the West
Monkey & Trip
Vincent & Yuffie-Yuffentine
Auron & Rikku-Aurikku
Balthier & Fran
Cid & Shera
Cid & Edea
Cloud & Tifa
Squall & Rinoa
Zack & Aerith
Seifer & Fujin
Zell & Quistis
Irvine & Selphie
Steiner & Beatrix
Zidane & Garnet/Dagger
Amarent & Freya
Tseng & Elena
Billy & Rebecca
Matt & Alice
Leon & Ada
Rain & JD
Jeuki & Emma-Jeumma
Scar & Lex-SEX( joke!!)
Predator & Human
Knuckles & Rouge
O'Shovah & O'Shaserra-O'Shoverra
To make it clear, I am not a rabid shipper, I'm happy to read things with different ships. I just prefer to read and write these ones. They make more sense to me, that's it.
"If there's one thing I would want to be remembered for it's passion and enthusiasm. Conservation is my job, my life, my whole being." Steve Irwin
A great man who will be sorely missed.
Fire and Ice; by Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.
From what I've tasted from desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate,
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice
n. An act of throwing someone or something out of a window.
Here are some actual warnings on some consumer goods, just in case you needed further proof the human race is doomed due to its own stupidity. Comments not from me, originally found on Xelskyr's profile
On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Crisps(chips if you aren't british):
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
'Directions: Use like regular soap'.
(And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners:
‘serving suggestion: Defrost'.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
'Do not turn upside down'.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
'Product will be hot after heating'.
(And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
'Warning: May cause drowsiness'.
(And...I'm taking this because??)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
'For indoor or outdoor use only'.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
'Not to be used for the other use'.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
'Warning: contains nuts'.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.
Now the Greatest of them All
On a Swedish Chainsaw:
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Forty- Nine laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives