just-call-me-plain-miss-vain
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Joined 04-03-07, id: 1251762, Profile Updated: 02-21-14
Author has written 13 stories for Harry Potter.

Stupidly Shortened Profile of Just Call Me Plain Miss Vain

I like to keep my profile updated

Unlike my stories

OOOH I just totally burnt myself

BITCH GET ME SOME WATER

Enough of that.

Listen guys...

I'm really trying to update I swear

Everyone takes a couple of years off don't they?

Then some Harry Potterish happens

And it's like

Boom

Ooh wonder what happened to my fanfic stories?

They stopped abruptly

That's what happened

But I am updating one story for now

The Never Ending Hangover

If you're into DM/HP

(Who isn't?!)

Go have a read

Just make sure that if you have to ask a parent if it's ok

You're on the wrong side of fanfic

Get outta here man

Just go.

Have a read and review.

OR ELSE...

Nothing.

Nothing will happen this is the internet guys.

God, you're so dramatic.

I'm just kidding.

Bye Lovers

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Not Your Usual Veela Mate by Janara reviews
Draco is a Veela and guess who his mate is? I've tried to write a Veela story where the two don't jump into bed immediately, hence the title. Will contain Dumbledore bashing. HPDM LMSS AU from book 5
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 69 - Words: 417,467 - Reviews: 8504 - Favs: 6,118 - Follows: 5,579 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 9/8/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
I Like it rough by Kaytastrophe reviews
"Sometimes, I like to TOUCH things. My things, his things, HER things... Yes, I'm a toucher." " What in Merlin's name does that mean?" " Well.. I really couldn't say. It MUST be true though, Veritaserum is almost impossible to surmount! " HarryXB
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,745 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/28/2011 - Published: 4/5/2007 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Entitled by Lifelessmidget reviews
Draco’s life tends to revolve around his work, but what happens when we add a bit of Harry Potter’s errands into his life? What happens when he suddenly realises he needs a strictly Harry diet? Slash ensues! Warning: slash sex COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,945 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/2/2010 - Published: 2/11/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Stupid Christmas by Amadea reviews
Draco Malfoy finds himself a little infatuated with a certain black haired boy. On the other hand there's a boy with grey eyes, too. With a revolution coming, as well as the Dark Lord, will Draco find a way to meet a special someone beneath the mistletoe?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 29,110 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 12/15/2008 - Published: 2/5/2007 - Draco M., Theodore N. - Complete
The Small Print by faithwood reviews
Draco Malfoy's first mistake was buying the thing. However, his second mistake was even worse. Sixth year AU. Draco's reasons for acting suspicious are a little different. HPDM. HUMOR. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,285 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 981 - Follows: 78 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Slytherins Are Perverts, What About Gryffindors? by faithwood reviews
Gryffindors discuss Draco Malfoy's sex life. Humour. SLASH. HPDM. ONESHOT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 593 - Follows: 61 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Taming Potter's Snake by faithwood reviews
It's very awkward when you're being molested by your own tattoo, but fortunately, Harry knows who to turn for help. SLASH. HPDM. ONESHOT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,391 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 864 - Follows: 69 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Who Shagged Harry Potter? by faithwood reviews
One beautiful sunny Sunday the Slytherins woke up after a raunchy night only to discover that a very naked Harry Potter had slept amongst them. Naturally, they asked themselves a logical question: Who the hell shagged him? HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,841 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 1,816 - Follows: 169 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
How Draco Malfoy Lost His Straight by faithwood reviews
What's a better test of Draco's straightness than Harry Potter in leather trousers? Humour. HPDM. SLASH. ONESHOT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,301 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 929 - Follows: 85 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Terms of Surrender by embyr81788 reviews
AU. As a gesture of good-will, the Champion of Gryffindor is sent to negotiate the terms of surrender with Voldemort’s heir-apparent. A peace treaty won’t be the only thing on the table. HD.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,791 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Hush, Potter by Kyla Mizuki reviews
Severus is out making his rounds one night after curfew, looking for wandering students. Instead, he finds something is amiss. Harry needs saving, and Severus is the only one around to save him from his attacker. SSHP Rated for rape and language at times.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 124,354 - Reviews: 982 - Favs: 949 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 5/16/2008 - Published: 6/17/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Fracture by Mylenemee reviews
It began with a train ride. It always had. Harry's sixth year after a summer of pain. I've always wanted to write the one in which Draco saves the day. AU after OoTP. Warnings: rape, Good!Slytherins, Slytherin!Harry, HPDM.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,127 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 3/10/2008 - Published: 3/5/2008 - Draco M., Harry P.
Taming ones inner Slytherin by simbele reviews
Harry returns for his seventh year at Hogwarts to face vindictive sorting hats, smug headmasters, changed friends and reformed enemies. A Resorting fic about year seven, with HPDM, SSRL, HGBZ, SFOC.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,088 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 1/9/2008 - Published: 4/25/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
Thank You by Lemo reviews
OneShots. HarryDraco. First: Post War, no HBP. A short friendship becomes more one night in the Astonomy Tower. Second oneshot has become it's own fic : MM Slash Yaoi etc T for boyluff.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 957 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/5/2008 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Harry P., Draco M.
First Comes Love by Ma Chat reviews
One touch. One gentle brush of the lips. That's all it took to drive Sasuke to the brink of insanity. [SasuNaru, AU] Too bad it was his foster child making him feel this way.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,326 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Dream Connections by Tygrressatheart reviews
SLASH...Harry is having some disturbing dreams about a certain blond wizard. He doesn't know what to do! What will happen when the object of his affection plots to seduce him? Will he give in to his lustful urges? Pairings: HPDM, RWHG, possibly GWBZ
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 59,572 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 12/16/2007 - Published: 12/16/2003 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Private Diary of Harry Potter by dark whispering wind reviews
Harry begins to have feelings he was unaware of before for the least imaginable person on earth…at least to his mind. SLASH – HPDM. Part IIRight Into The Looking Glass
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,530 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 11/15/2007 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
A New Beginning by csdenis2 reviews
This is the story of what happens after the war, when Harry and his friends return to Hogwarts after defeating Voldemort. After becoming friends, Harry begins an unexpected romance with Draco Malfoy. I've changed the rating to M for the later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,126 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 10/17/2007 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Attraction by Lunadeath reviews
Harry's sexuality has finally come out, but not the way Harry wanted. He gets flirted with by all types, but just who is Harry's type? Different pairings at first, but will be HD soon. Yes, it's Slash. Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 98,975 - Reviews: 717 - Favs: 926 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 6/7/2007 - Published: 11/19/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Background Secrets by Calai'di reviews
COMPLETE: What if Harry and Draco were really friends behind all the insults and fights with each other? When would it have started and where would it end? Major spoilers for books 3,4,5,6. DMHP, FGL, BZSF, OWOC, HPCD
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 172,733 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 1,352 - Follows: 493 - Updated: 6/2/2007 - Published: 12/18/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Nocturnal Emissions by LadySirius32158 reviews
In the middle of the night, all things are possible including Sirius Black's love for Remus Lupin. But when the lines between dreams and reality become blurred, what will happen to their friendship?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,443 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 5/21/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Come Out, Whoever You Are! by Harmonic Friction reviews
Updated: What followed would be the most awkward hour of Harry’s time at Hogwarts. Finding Draco Malfoy, he discovered, was a very complicated task. [The untold story of the Hogwarts Gay Straight alliance.Central Pairing: HPDM]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,842 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 5/1/2007 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
A Proper Education by Giantitis reviews
Imagine James and Sirius sitting in on a lecture on the birds and the bees. A bit of drabble but may continue if recieve positive feedback.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/10/2007 - James P., Sirius B.
I Tauwght I Taw A Putty Tat by angeltread reviews
Harry, in a freak Potions mishap, is turned into a tiny kitten! To make matters worse, Malfoy’s been assigned task of caretaker! SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 20,708 - Reviews: 972 - Favs: 1,493 - Follows: 505 - Updated: 1/2/2007 - Published: 10/27/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
101 Pick Up Lines by purtyinpink71121 reviews
This is a collection of the 101 pick up lines and clever asking outs that James used on Lily... and of course her smartass responses.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,947 - Reviews: 1127 - Favs: 1,554 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 12/17/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Secrets of the Forbidden Broomcloset by Anthea Rose reviews
Draco Malfoy is beyond infuriated when a bored Daily Prophet pins him as gay, and he's willing to do anything to prove his heterosexuality - even accept help from an aloof but sympathizing Harry Potter. DMHP SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 137,386 - Reviews: 4448 - Favs: 2,433 - Follows: 1,543 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 5/13/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
Diary of a Red Head by Snowy Winter Tales reviews
Fifteen year old Ginny Weasley's diary, filled with embarrassing situations, sarcasm, and a lot of Harry Potters. She's not in love with him or anything. Honestly. [And it's won an award!]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,061 - Reviews: 929 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 12/26/2005 - Published: 5/20/2004 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
He is NOT my boyfriend! by Lunadeath reviews
H/D slash. The sly Malfoy gets out of trouble by telling those he sees that he and Harry are a couple. Of course, it's not true. Or is it? and how will Harry's friends get along with him? *rating's up*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 89,300 - Reviews: 973 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 1/26/2004 - Published: 2/28/2003 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Time out of Place by bananacosmicgirl reviews
Harry wakes up with a throbbing head, but he soon realizes that a headache is the last thing he has to worry about. And what part does Draco play in it all? Timetravel, AU. HPDM slash. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,488 - Reviews: 1203 - Favs: 1,808 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 6/5/2003 - Published: 12/26/2002 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Never Ending Hangover reviews
Harry was done with the hexes, taunts and stress of having to deal with an idiot like Draco. It was time to get that ferret out of his life for a few weeks. So whenever he has a chance to spike Malfoy with a three week long illness with hangover like conditions, he takes it. The only problem is once he is found out, he's the one who will have to look after him... HP/DM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,787 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/21/2014 - Published: 9/6/2013 - Harry P., Draco M.
It All Started With A Yule Ball reviews
After locking gazes with enemy number one at the Yule Ball, things won't ever be the same again for Harry. With an annoying Theodore Nott and a possesive Cho Chang, will Harry ever realise that it wasn't simply locking gazes?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,531 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Draco M., Harry P.
Dreams Not Meant For Dreaming reviews
New Sum: Lily and James are suffering from the Adwin curse. First its sharing dreams, then not being able to stop kissing, then switching bodies. How are they going to get back to normal? And surely Lily isn't going to start having feelings for him...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,979 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 6/2/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Once Upon A Drunken Time reviews
The drinks have been spiked, and everyone's out to make idiots of themselves at the Halloween Ball- but forget what they've done the next day. It can't be that bad, its not as if one of them drunkenly kissed their Potions Professor? SS/HP SF/DT RW/? RW/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,319 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 9/13/2008 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Harry P., Severus S.
Captured reviews
Harrys been captured. He's being kept by the Dark Lord in a house known to the wizarding world as a death trap. Only one person can save him- and guess what? It's Draco. Will he help the Boy-Who-Lived or will it be too late?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,973 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Draco M., Harry P.
Divinations Just Got Interesting reviews
Quick Oneshot! Draco gazes into that annoying crystal ball and sees someone who happens to be sitting on the other side of the room from him. R/R please xox
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,106 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/15/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Dared Into Love reviews
The Slytherins play a game of dares. And to make it interesting, they each have to get someone they'd never consider going out with to make out with them, But what happens when things go wrong? Final chapter up! Wooo! HPDM PPDT BZSF TNLL HGRW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,371 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 8/28/2007 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Silent Studying reviews
Just a quick story on how Harry and Draco end up becoming friends. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 660 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Love Note reviews
Lily and James are in Charms and are passing notes. Just a Oneshot, but have a read anyway :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/9/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Transfiguring Forks reviews
Lily and James pass notes in Transfiguration. Quick Oneshot :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 889 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/8/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Notes In Potions reviews
I've decided its no longer a Oneshot. Lily passes a note to James telling him to stop looking at her and a conversation enfolds. Just a fun quick story. LilyJames, Part 6 up! Its just a reason to write fun convos :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,386 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/10/2007 - Published: 7/1/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Jealous Yet? reviews
Lily loves James. James ignores Lily. There's a perfect way to sort this whole thing out...Go out with James' friend and make him as jealous as you can! Simple...Right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,974 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 5/31/2007 - Published: 5/2/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Fake Relationships Lily Evans and James Potter reviews
Lily is annoyed, day in, day out all she gets is an infatuated James Potter after her. So what happens when she decides to pretend to love someone else to get rid of Potter? And what happens when it's Snape?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,879 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/10/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete