Poll: Which world do you prefer more as Harry's first one? wilyboldplotclaim Vote Now!
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Naruto.
I'm just a phantom of your imagination.
My challenges. PM me please if you want to write something. I'd like to be able to read it.
Okey-Dokey... Some things 'bout myself
Food: chocolate with chocolate and covered with chocolate coating. And some herring as a desert.
Egyptians' God: Seth
Egyptians' Goddes: Bast (also known as Bastet, Sekhmet and so on)
HP character: Harry Potter and Severus Snape
HP fanfiction character: Loona Lovegood and loony Potter
Actor: Johnny Depp and most of Jim Carrey's (love his strange mimic and gestures!)
Chronicals of the Amber
Chronicals of Narnia
Hitchiker's guide to the galaxy
(said by some guy on tumblr... and isn't reading tumblr a tremendous waste of time?..)
They say time is a greatest teacher... Unfortunately, it kills all its students.
Never underestimate the power of the stupid people in large groups.
I am not afraid to die. I just don't want to be present at that moment.
Join the army! Visit new places, meet new people... Kill them all!
Never knock on the Death's door: ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that!
There are things in this life worse than death. Have you ever spent an evening with the insurance salesman?
Good writers borrow. Great writers steal. T.S.Elliot, Robert Hineline and a lot of other guys, though "borrow" and "steal" parts may exchange places in some people's phrases. Though, both versions ring true to me, representing aspects of great authors being blatant about their plagiarism and those same great authors being more easily forgiven for it.
Logic is the systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
The other line always moves faster.
Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary. )))
The difference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens with somebody else.
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
Whatever It Is, I Didn't Do It
Curiosity Killed The Cat, But For A While I Was The Suspect...
As writers, we are gods over our creation. For ultimately, we decide what even the mightiest deity does.
Every good joke has a bit of joke in it.
Fanfiction pet peeves
You know, I think I would like to read about Scrulls invading Hogwarts.
Soulmates and Soul Bonds Ok, Let's just call it slavery with possible lethal end. Caputt, free will. Sayonara, personal space. Hello, double homicide - or suicide - waiting to happen. Suited perhaps for short stories where hero suddenly controls villain - for hilarity's sake. Ridiculous way to make two heroes stick to each other.
I read a good original fiction story where soulbonding was a specific ability of selected few - they formed bond by spending time with people (if they leave, people get seriously sick, if they came back after leaving, people got better but would suffer death in event of further separation). Then heroine proceeds to spend time with people, leave them to suffer through withdrawal of her company and then make them pay for spending some time with her. Hero tries to never form contact with other people. They meet, "bond" and proceed to try living together until girl resorts to her old ways, decides to keep the hero captive, as they are bonded and therefore have to see each other often. In the end, tired of such life, understanding noone shall ever come looking for him as he cut all his ties to humanity, hero commits suicide, therefore making sure his "bonded" as well as her victims follow him to the grave.
There was also a hilarious oneshot fic somewhere where soul bond creates a collective creepily similar to the Borg from Star Trek.
So, it is possible to make a good story out of it, you just have to avoid cliches.
MPREG the most annoying thing ever, especially if there's no indication of such ability in any cannon I can remember at the moment (unless you count mythology, but then you could eat grape and end up with a mary-sue child in myth. well, that, and Oglaf (nc-17 humorous webcomic) has mpreg in Kronar's men-only (kind of like amazons, but able to have children among their numbers) barbarian tribe). It is also impossible in real life. though that argument would not call forth so many objections if I had seen a believable not vomit-inducing-from-word-one story. Practically always it is a version of author seeing herself as hero to ridiculous degree. Same as people using slash (both yaoi and yuri) to not be ashamed of their own sexual desires, only slightly creepier. That, and I have yet to see a story with coherent storyline. Or slightly believable characters. Or ones that do not look like a bad anti-early-pregnancy brochure for preteens. Or without ridiculous premises and with normal ending. Usually these stories are horror stories in which the other parent somehow is a monster, at least in the beginning (according to summmaries at least). Or the pregnant party is idiotic. Or both... Ok, let's just stop at creepy as hell. I usually try to stay away from them after curiosity got better of me couple of times.
The only MPREG I acknowledge is the movie "Junior" where it is played both for hilarity's sake and to create a greater understanding between all characters. And short movie, I think it was called "Alien", even if it is difficult to be sure whether the creature born was earthman's child or the parasite, getting out of his host after maturing... But it was dramatic story asking questions about what it means to be human, what are human rights and morality, how much human DNA must you have to be considered human? how should you look?, relationship beetween parent and child, etc. Though, if I ever stumble upon great story with mpreg... nah, I have my doubts it shall happen. At least in fanfiction, as I have the distinct impression that most authors writing mpreg are either twelve or less, or predilection to writing mpreg comes from having bad grammar and being emo, if not outright nutcase with slight violence-on and suicidal tendencies. On the other hand, considering vampires are the iconic "sexy" characters of this age, little can surprise me anymore.
Psychoterapist dialogues and whiny teenage drama regardless of characters' age. When people talk to each other inthe usual settings they do not analize their behaviour in neat clinical terms (unless they are Sherlock Holmes, I guess). They hide things, ignore things, they do not chew the "my life sucked" gum over and over. Especially in only slightly different phrasing every turn. They do not make a neat psychological portrait of themselves for any new acquintance they encounter. That part is extremely grating in time travel fics where heroes start telling all about their terrible lives to the closest person available. And the next. And the next. And with the copy-pasted dialogue too... Also, Methos running away distraught about someone commenting his appearance means someone transplanted his own most likely teenage brain into Death's lobes, not that 5 000 years old immortal is a sensitive soul.
Strong characters becoming whiners in an extreme personality shift after getting very hurt and not getting over it or pretending to have gotten over it or that it never happened afterwards. Seriously, wounded soul bit might add some drama to a story, but odds are, after initial reason for displaying weakness disappears, strong person stays strong. Especially one that had been hurt before. Like Wolverine whining being burned by campfire, for example. Or being burned as a witch by inquisition.
I do read well-written hurt-heal stories, as they are worth it, however few the good ones are. The catharsis you feel as strong person returns from weakness to his former - or newly reformed and changed - lifestyle is quite inspiring. It is possible to make a good story out of a fall to the deepest pits of hell too, though there are just too much people who never experienced any pain and have dull imagination and atrocious grammar to go with that in this genre and they continue to write more and more of the word-diarrhea attacks with no inner or outer logic whatsoever...
"Lets' kill 'em li'l basterds" where a hero with difficult childhood (aka HP, Naruto, etc) is suddenly living with a bunch of child-killing and torturing nutcases with an extreme wish to hurt, cripple and destroy them. Seriously, even "mild" neglect and/or abuse is horrifying. Writing that detailed accounts of every injury and torture the kids suffer - sometimes even without any viable plot behind it except for "and he welcomed death with open arms and hugged its sceleton frame till its several ribs popped"- makes us all happy you are only writing it and are not acting it out on the streets. Still, if the idea of all written stories being played out by the universe in the parallel worlds, we all sincerely hope you end up in hell.
Funnies in other's fics
... delirious potatoes...
... dilutions of grandeur...
Lightsaber is a weapon of peace... it can cut through virtually everything... (I just see it in my mind's eye NOOO! HE'S HERE! - Jedi comes with a lightsaber - and suddenly everyobody feels an UNEXPLAINABLE need for peace >:>)
...Will he just become another causality of war?..
...a multi-gender prison... (men, women, hermaphrodites and multiple cases of "IT", I guess. Plus those seven-gender gnomes from Alpha-Centauri)
...What will it take for Lucifer to be defeated? SLASH, THREESOME... (Jup, gay sex defeats all evils, however terrible... *I wipe a proud tear rolling out of my right eye* such is the world of yaoi fangirls)
...deadliest of foes strike with little warning and always with unsuspecting force. Slash... (new!weaponized!slash) (and seriously, unsuspecting force?)
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