Author has written 5 stories for Mars, Lord of the Rings, Naruto, and Sims.
(Peeks out from behind corner) Why hello darlings, I see you've bothered to take a little look at me. But that's just what you came for, isn't it? You don't want to hear a lot of shit about my hair color and the bands I like. If you're wondering, my fanfics aren't that good, and I have a few original stories that I replaced the characters with. XD
No, I do not acknowledge writing any Ranma fanfics. Sorry, but that must be some OTHER YoyYoy, who doesn't write well. So check out my stories, bitches! XD
Now, I know no one cares about who the hell I am, so I decided to gather some quotes that define me:
"Never argue with an idiot, for they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
"I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me."
"Cake or death?" -Eddie Izzard, my British hero. Nikki is my British heroin. Monty Python is my British heroine.
"Love like you've never been hurt, work like you don't need the money, and dance like no one is watching."
"Be yourself, cause everyone else is taken."
"You're unique and special, just like everyone else."
"Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone."
My mom: If Nikki jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: Hell yea!
My Mom: Why?
Me: Because if Nikki jumped off, I'd know there was a large monster behind us she provoked.
"People who think they know everything are irritating to those of us who do."
"The good news is, you're not paranoid. The bad news is, well, you're not paranoid."
"It's a conspiracy, Mom. Don't take it personally." -Nikki when her mom was freaking out. XD
"Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world: people who understand binary code and those who don't."
"Never fear, Apathetic Girl is here." -Apathetic Girl... obviously...
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show the people who have the most live the longest."
"GIVE PEACE A FUCKIN' CHANCE FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SCUM BAG!"-Myra (My cuz)
"I'm so normal you could stick a fork in me and call me a flan!" -My dumb older brother.
"No, that wasn't so bad. I think the worst time changing a tire was when we were parked really near the road that time. Oh, and the cars were going like, 60 MPH. You remember that old jack we used to have? Yeah, it sometimes failed..." -My uncle setting up for an anecdote.
Well, if you've read this far, I shall begin to do everything in my power to stop you. Here come some retarded pick up lines and jokes:
'There is a woman and she's walking down the street. She comes upon a magic genie bottle, and opens it. A genie popped out. "I'll give you one wish," he said. The woman rolled her eyes at the cheesiness, but answered anyway. "I want peace in the Middle East," she said. The Genie spluttered angrily. "What? Those guys have been fighting for years, centuries! Even before I was in the bottle! No way! It's impossible! Wish for something else." "Fine," the woman sighed. "I want the perfect man, who'll love me, do the dishes and take out the trash, not think I'm fat, not cheat on me, and love me all the time." The genie sighed. "Give me the damn map."'
'"I'm a fermata- hold me!"' That's a musicians pickup line! =D
'There's a cowboy standing in a bar. A woman comes up to him. "Are you a real cowboy?" she asked. The cowboy nodded. "I sure am, ma'am. I get up in the morning and heard the cows, I eat lunch and then rattle up some hogs, and then after dinner I heard the cows." "I see," replied the woman. "Well, I'm a lesbian. I get up in the morning, think about women, eat lunch, think about women, eat dinner, and think about women." Soon, after a conversation, the woman left. A couple comes up to the cowbody. "Are you a real cowboy?" they asked. The cowboy shook his head. "I thought I was, but I just found out I was a lesbian."'
'Theres three guys in training to be police officers. The chief calls the first one into his office for the final test. He holds up a picture. "What are some distinguishing features of this man?" he asked. "That's easy," the guy replied. "He only has one eye." "You bafoon! This is a profile! Next!" The first guy left and the second guy came in. "What are some distinguishing features of this man?" he asked again. "Simple! He only has one ear!" "You idiot!" cried the chief. "This is a profile! Next!" The second guy left and the third guy came in. "What are some distinguishing features of this man?" the chief asked. "He wears contact lenses," the man said. The chief, surprised, looked up the criminal in question and found he did wear contacts. "How did you know?" asked the chief. "Easy," the man replied. "He only has one eye and one ear, so he can't wear normal glasses."'
If you're still reading, here's a quote for you:
'If you're not having enough fun, just lower your expectations.'
'If my life were a book, the editor would be saying right about now: 'It's good so far, but where is it all going?'
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. XD But I fucking am! How can I deny it? But I'm not a bitch because I speak my mind, I'm a bitch and I speak my mind... is there a difference?
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. No shit, I am.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. It's better than loving the world, isn't it? If you have to either accept everything or reject everything, do you really want to accept murder and genocide?
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. No, I don't believe in being responsible. Clean my room? Later!
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. Ah, sorry, I'm straight. Can't deny it. I only kiss girls when I'm drunk. Fuck! I mean, um, when I am... out of my mind... yeah...
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. But I AM! Wallet? Why bring a wallet on a date when the guy is going to pay?
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. Um... gum? Eh, why not! XD (joke, little joke. I'm not that easy, I swear. A chocolate? No... must... resist...)
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. Damn straight.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. At least, that's what my therapist said... (joke, little joke)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. No, I'm not gay, but I like gays! So I play an instrument? Does that make me gay? Well, my bass said he was... is that what this means?
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. Only ONCE! And I can't even remember it!
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. Well, I am a player, but I AM a girl...?
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO. What is this trying to say? Is my profile trying to call me gay? HELP!
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... Or crazy. I'm both, so what does this mean? My mom sold my play station last month, so I guess I'm just a gamer going through withdrawl...
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. Once, I explained the point of safe sex to my little sister. She asked what was the point of having sex if you didn't want to have a baby? I said that it was like wanting to eat a candy without getting fat. Sort of the same, right? I want to eat a lunch... and I want to stay healthy... where the hell is this going anyway?
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. Don't have to be dating to get nailed. JOKE!
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff. I don't do weed. No matter how many times I joke about it. But I do steal shit.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. Mixed, you may ask? I just know I ain't full white, but no clue what other portions. XD
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA (But he was!)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. Identity crisis much? XD I may be delusional and insane, but I don't ever not know who I am... Nikki would probably slaughter me over that sentence.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I am a loser. If a loser is what keeps the populars away, shit, sign me up!
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I am. What the fuck is a predicate nomitive again?
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. Who doesn't like to drink and party? XD
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. Dude, this is not true for anyone. I've rarely met someone who fits in with the KKK and support gay rights. Hello? This is getting kind of weird...
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. Nah, only if you insult Mozart will you die.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I don't have a big group, but I have big boobs, so it's all good.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I am.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. I am.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse (They all do, by the way. To school. And us Californians surf to school.)
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. (well.. read/write it...)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I don't think I'm obese yet. But every time I eat my mother's cooking I feel like I'm working on it!
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. How young is young? Crap, I'm not young to my younger siblings, I'm young to my older siblings, so which am I?!
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (ish)
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (ish)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I think that would be interesting. Then we'd all look the same! Isn't America about equality? Hahahaha... ha... ok, sorry, feminism is the belief in women's equality. If someone ISN'T a feminist they're messed up.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. Really? You mean I'm entitled to one because I'm a teenager? Fuck, where did I put it! Damn, damn, damn... Gah! My little brother stole it!
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I am. Sorry, my bad!
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. Haven't we been over this? As long as I don't have to shop at A&F, I'll do just about anything.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber sex. Only a couple of times. It was really lame.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion (Hello? This is a conservative BELIEF!)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. If you agree with Bush, you're a terrorist. Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and supporting your government when it deserves it.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (What the FUCK?! I WANNA BE A WITCH!)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. How can anyone who reads yaoi not be? HAPPY, I mean, HAPPY!
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (Am I really a person? Who decided to put this here? Honestly, does ANYONE expect to be going through this and be like "Nope, oh, yeah, that's TOTALLY me... person? Nah, doesn't sound like me." XD)
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. I am extremely childish. Example: Male customer: I'd like a pair of breasts. Me: No wonder you're eating here, to grow a pair of your own!
I didn't lose my job, though my boss was pissed. I claimed it was sexual harrassment.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I made the football team Freshman year. Still don't think I'm stupid? I'll go tackle you too. XD
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. What if you used to be a Christian, but aren't now? Do you still need converting, or are you like one of those unhappy customers that businesses just sort of cover up?
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. Nope. Never done it. But I have trouble counting people who haven't cut themselves that I know. I can fit 'em on one hand.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
Red, black, blue, green, and yellow.
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Realistic- practical: seeking what is achievable or possible, based on known facts. Well then, it is a FACT that an end to world hunger can be BOUGHT. I wish for world hunger to end.
Wait- realistic? Because the magical force that grants my wish at the end of this thing recognizes only reasonable wishes? What the crap?
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
I'd rather die.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
I sound confused.
3. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
People who share my initial in this category:
Brent Phelps (Husband of Shirley Phelps)
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
People who have this initial:
Richard "Dick" Cheney
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
People who have this initial:
Hey, no matter what your name is, or how cursed you'll be when you don't pass this on, your love life looks good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
The memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
Changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
Duuuude, I've got a BOYFRIEND. Don't SAY things like that. Sheesh, do they expect lonely, desperate, single girls are the only ones reading this?
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time
If there was a direction I hadn't taken, I'd be going backwards.
But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
Anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
Holy living fuck.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. Like hell I do! This is sooo stupid!
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
AAAH, must RE-POST for STARVING KIDS IN AFRICA!!