CatHasClaws
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Joined 04-28-07, id: 1264855, Profile Updated: 04-19-10
Author has written 9 stories for Maximum Ride, Twilight, Harry Potter, and Supernatural.

I suppose this is the bit where I tell you how obsessed I am and then bore you with a huge page of stuff that you've probably already read...

Firstly though, I have to tell you I'm crap. I started a lot of stories a few years ago, that never got finished, and some got forgotten altogether, but I'm sort of back/ And trying. SO bear with me :)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the Eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent).

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

If at first you dont succeed, skydiving isnt for you

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

There's a ME in AWSOME-but there's also a WE

Apostrophes do not mean "Look out, an S is coming!"

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Cereal killer

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

"Everything is going to change now, isn't it?" DUH HERMIONE. god. idiot.

EMO kids have cool hair.

WOAH random alert! random alert! WE OO WE OO WE OO!

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back.you don't determine who has more fun by the colour of their hair,orange is NOT the new pink, and no, my mom DIDN'T do that. so STFU

Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed-Im not a can.

We're having hot lesbian sex, and by lesbian sex, we mean cookies, but they're still hot.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mum saying you can still keep it.

I think I could be madly in like with you.

I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!

Your mom looks like voldemort (oh burn)

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Supported by the Mafia...You hit me, We hit you

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

News from the file marked "DUH"

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

Therapist

I think you're breaking my Gay-dar

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT

Cheers to another awkward moment

I Just Got Promoted, So I'm Eviler than You...

No

Yes I am...

You Know the taste you get when you brush your teeth then drink orange juice...?

EWW I hate that!

I LOVE IT!

Do You Like Puppies?

Yes...

I KICK THEM!

GASP

And you know that muffin you're eating...

-gasp- no...

I DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-passes out-

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Walk the Edge of Shadows by whimsycality reviews
Alternate Universe in which Michael was the first to let in a human, long before they were old enough to understand the consequences. First in series stretching from preshow all the way through. Will be Polar.
Roswell - Rated: T - English - Family/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,021 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/9/2010 - Published: 9/11/2010 - Michael G. - Complete
Lost Again by phoebenpiper reviews
JONAS tv show. The boys discuss the TV show Lost while traveling from Sydney to L.A.
Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,381 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Complete
The Confusion of Lust and Love by Athazagoraphobiac reviews
It all begins when Elena runs into Damon Salvatore on her way to the annual Founders Gala. And she isn't wearing her vervain necklace. **WARNING** Lemons. Lots and lots of lemons. Be Warned.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,836 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Damon S., Elena G. - Complete
Maximum Ride: Chat Room Chaos by flailingmuse reviews
Chatroom and MSN fun with the Max Ride gang involving: cookies, hyperness, nicknames, Max's cooking, Digimon, lolcats, explosions, FAX, smilies, laptop naming, a little note-passing and MUCH more. Blame any lack of bold on FF dot net, not me, ok?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 33,544 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 11/16/2007
IM conversations by Scarlett Redd reviews
A collection of random and funny conversations through IM between Twilight characters. Requests are welcome and encouraged! I'm just writing this for fun... it is meant to be entirely pointless and funny... It's just to give me a bit of a break...Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,515 - Reviews: 574 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 8/13/2007
Heaven Help Me by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Bella needed a friend. What she got was a hot gaurdian angel named Edward, who's determined to make her happy. How long will he stay on Earth to complete his job? Evil Mike, sweet Edward, shy Gothic Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 102,019 - Reviews: 1649 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Edward, Bella
Just Another Bella and Daughter Story by theenvylover reviews
Sequel to Not Another Bella and Daughter Story. It's now eleven years after the incident and Alice Swan is eager to become a vampire, will her overprotective 'parents' even let her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,015 - Reviews: 644 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 11/5/2008 - Published: 8/6/2007
Different Flocks by Wolfen Dreams reviews
A response to Silver Wind Kitsue's challenge. AU. The school raised the flock as two seperate flocks with several other types of hybrids. When Fang goes undercover to Max's flock, he learns to expect what he could have never expected. Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,033 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/20/2008 - Published: 5/25/2007
Not Another Twilight FanFiction by theenvylover reviews
A clumsy Bella, a perfect Edward, Jacob the rapist, you've seen it all before but not in this extent. The product when you take the average of all of the other FanFictions on the site. Of course Flames are always welcomed and laughed at.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,430 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 10/2/2007
Uncharted Destination by Dreams-of-Oompa-Loompas reviews
Fang actually finds an island for the flock. And so follows a series of transitions as the gang gets used to island life. But trouble seems to find them in the most reclusive of places. FAXNESS. Chapter 3 up!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,877 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 5/19/2007
Journals by flailingmuse reviews
DEADFIC! Adopted by Fangalicous08, she's finished it, read hers.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,248 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 4/17/2008 - Published: 5/12/2007
Twilight Fanfiction is Scary! by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Everyone loves a good old heated up Twilight fanfiction. But how will Edward and Bella react when they go on to the fan fiction network by the advice of Alice and read some? please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,315 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 2/8/2008 - Published: 7/12/2007
Unknown Mistakes by luvthatvamp reviews
Sequel to SACRIFICE if you havent read it do not read this. Bella and the Resistors prepare to battle Kevin. Problems arise when Bella goes back in time. Can she figure things out before its to late to save Edward and the cullens? rated T just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,657 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 9/14/2007
You Know You've Read Twilight Too Many Times When by Alyson May reviews
Pretty much I compiled a list of things you'll do if you've read Twilight enough times......my first oneshot!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/22/2008 - Published: 8/28/2007 - Complete
Crocodile Shoes by flailingmuse reviews
My name is Lek. I'm a failed experiment in the sense that my animal traits weren't what they wanted. So's Tani. I'm 2 croc, she's 2 snake, black mamba to be precise. They left us in the desert to die. They thought we were gone. They were wrong. DEADFIC!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,167 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 1/7/2008
Karaoke Party by Songfic Misstress reviews
just what it says it is people. after the 3rd book, so spoilers. Jeb buys a karaoke machine, and all the interesting things that ensue. Lots and lots of fluff. MaxFang, IggyElla. funny.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 10,199 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/29/2007 - Published: 7/13/2007
Past, Present, Future? by flailingmuse reviews
Max has flashbacks. Or are they dreams? Or even warnings? Either way, they're important. Oneshot. Fax. Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the creepy guy at the end. Max & Co. Are J.Ps.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Complete
Not Another Instant Messaging Story by theenvylover reviews
heh, a parody of all of the AIM stories out there. this is a oneshot and it will stay a oneshot! voted ::the only IM story that deserves to be up here::.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 13 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Complete
SACRIFICE by luvthatvamp reviews
Edward never comes back after new moon and bella was changed by victoria, after 150 years she returns to Forks only to find that another vampire family has also taken up residence there. Is it the Cullens or a new group. rated T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,389 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/17/2007 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Complete
Just Another Scar by VampiressE12B reviews
This song is the product of a shower without music.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 338 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2007 - Complete
Complicated Love by SilverEmber282 reviews
After going to anne's house while fang's injuries are healing the flock is suprised to find that they aren't anne's only house guests. Filled with love and romance as hinted by title. This is my first ever fanfic so please read and review!FAX my peeps!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,687 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/23/2007 - Published: 5/7/2007
Gag Gift Day by theenvylover reviews
Bella gets dragged into another Cullen family tradition with some disasterous results
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,495 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/27/2007 - Complete
150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts by CaramelBoost reviews
Molly Weasley, after getting tired of the tirade of complaints against her twins, has given Fred and George a list.. A list of things they are not allowed to do in Hogwarts upon penalty of death. Their reaction? Complete disbelief. Oneshot. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,779 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 586 - Follows: 39 - Published: 4/30/2007 - George W. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Just My Luck! reviews
Krista escaped from the Whitecoats...with the help of Jeb of course. But how will she manage to adapt to life outside her prison? And why is everyone calling her the Chosen One?
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,513 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 6/29/2007
Possessed reviews
Becky has to fight to stay in control. But can she hold on long enough to be saved. And will Sam be able to do what needs doing? A short little one shot I cam up with while watching series 1 and 2 of Supernatural.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,445 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/28/2011 - Sam W. - Complete
The Apple Falls
Shane isn't normal, even for a witch. She's been living as a Muggle, now it's time to show them what she's capable of. Thrust into a war, she has no choice but to pick a side, but what does that mean for her and Draco? Can they be togethether? DracoxOC
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,197 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/24/2011 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Draco M., OC
Draco Malfoy Is Not Evil reviews
*INDEFINITE HIATUS* Shane starts Hogwarts on the wrong side. She loses her best friend. And people think she's evil. All Because of Draco Malfoy. Who she may or may not be in love with. non-canon.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,022 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Draco M., OC
New Girl In Town reviews
Alex Swan, her mother died and then she's sent to live with her Uncle Charlie and his daughter Bella. But what will she decide to do when Bella asks for her help saving a large group of Vampires? Set after New Moon. Rated T for Violence eventually!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,463 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/14/2010 - Published: 8/10/2007
Scent of Roses reviews
This is an entry for winged-soldiar's Rose Contest. Jack is new in town, add some vampires and a crazy stalker and you'll only end up with trouble.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,945 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Complete
Strange Goings On! reviews
I went to sleep a normal girl I woke up an avian human hybrid! And then I met the Flock! FAX! There's also Calon! Laven! and MORE! All will be revealed!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,290 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/3/2007 - Published: 6/1/2007
Not What You'd Think? reviews
A scene from a wedding. But is it really what you think?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 390 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Complete
The Song of Love! reviews
Aerosmith I don't wanna miss a thing I think seems to some up how Bella and Edward feel about eachother! It's mainly the lyrics! EB!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 442 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
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