Author has written 15 stories for Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Yu-Gi-Oh, Harry Potter, and Katekyo Hitman Reborn!.
Name-I have one. That is all that matters
Age-I wasn't born yesterday and I'm not dead.
Likes-anything but pink, dresses, skirts, and yellow basically anything girly. Getting mistaken as the wrong gender.
Cooking and painting are not all that different. Only one is edible.-Sanji, "Loyal" by Sho-A0YCupid
Relationships are math equations-Luffy, "Loyal" by Sho-A0YCupid
Eggs!? That's your big plan? WHat are you trying to do? Kill 'em with cholesterol!? -Koetetsu, "A Fox Among the Hounds" by Jehovah's Witness
Where is the thump thump?-Captain Jack Sparrow POTC2
If deadlines weren't so deadly then they wouldn't be so life threatening'
'I tried being normal. . . . I didn't like it'-me
'Shoot for the moon. If you miss you'll land with the stars'-Les Brown
'I got lost on the road of life'-Hatake Kakashi
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you didn't follow what that said paste this to your profile!
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, WWMTgirl, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, DemonDaughter, digiwildfire, lupe191919, Roxaschick, blacksinger
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _"
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.
(I remember so many of them...A true 90's kid. XD)
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.
Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!
1. Sabuku no Gaara
2. Aburame Shino
3. Uzumaki Naruto
4. Hatake Kakashi
7. Uchiha Itachi
8. Ame no Hidan
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
No. Could be interesting though…
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Oh yeah. About... a 8.
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
(Snickers uncontrolably) HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA... (Continues laughing for another 5 minutes)
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Oh yeah. Wonderful character to play with.
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Jiriya with Tobi... ew. Jiriya with Temari...he's probably get turned on with the pain that Temari would cause him.
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? X3
...Shino would just die...and Itachi and Ibiki getting it on? MAI EYES!!
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.
Naruto finds out that the council is plotting with Tsunade to turn him into the ulitmate weapon, and once he finish being useful Danzo will kill him. Where is he to go?...Well he did get that letter from Gaara recently...
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
"Mangekyo Intergation Lessons" Gotta admit, that really would be a way to get somebody to tell you something.
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
(Laughs uncontrolably) Like that ever would happen. But it if did, Kakashi would show Gaara the wonderful God that is Icha Icha, then Gaara would ask Kakashi about some of the...questionable parts, and Kakashi would...go in depth about it.
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Maybe, not sure. They probably could..
14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?
Definetly Four, others...ain't so sure about.
15) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? X3
Uh... (O///O) "THAT IS HUGE!!"...
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
(Laughs hysterically) Probably a Hollywood Undead one... "Everywhere I Go"
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
(Laughs even more) Man, this is killing me... Warning! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU LIKE PAIN AND OLDER PAIRINGS!! LOTS OF DRINKING!!
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
"Do your bugs like melons?"...uh yeah. Not good at pick up lines.
THE NARUTARD SURVEY.
1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)?
Jiriya!! THE SUPER PERVERT!!
2. What is your favorite pairing(s)?
Damn you...Well...Naru/Hina...Shika/Tem, Ten/Neji sometimes Sasu/Sak...Ita/Naru...Kaka/Naru...Kaka/Iru...Sometimes Sasu/Naru...Nar/Haku...
3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan?
4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times?
Not yet, but right now I could pass off as a Sexy no Jutsu Lee with trimmed eyebrows XD
5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any.
Got two books, a Kakashi-Sensei plushie, a old calander of Naruto Characters...some Suna gloves... yeah, thats about it.
6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who?
Lol I would have to say...either Shino, Itachi or ...Hidan. Yeah, the loud ass mofo. Go figure.
7. NaruHina or KibaHina?
8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru?
9. Which team is your favorite?
Team 7, cause there is just so much drama there it's funny, Team Gai cause it's funny to but Neji through all of the situations that involve spandex and Team Suna. Just because Gaara is of the Funk.
10. Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito)
At first, I did...How old is this?
11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory?
Excatly how old is this?
12. Your favorite Akatsuki member?
Tobi, Itachi and Hidan. Oh! And Sasori. And Deidara...
13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?
14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)?
15. Have you read all the chapters so far?
16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?
17. Sub or dub?
Sub all the way.
18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?
Anti-Sakura, Pro-Inner Sakura
19. Tobi = Annoying or funny?
20. Do you even know who Tobi is?
21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?
I can’t really agree with either statement unfortunately.
22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?
Shino. I want to see behind his glasses!
23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome?
D) High on Crack while being drunk.
24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how?
Itachi, Pain, or Madara because who would like to see either one, or all three singing the Cupcake song?
25. Do you like Naruto fanfics?
Noooooooo, absoutly ..yes.
26. Do you write Naruto fanfics?
According to my profile I write them.
27. Do you like lemons?
Of course! I love lemonade. Don’t know how this is relevant though…
28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters?
Yes'um. Even the Pedo-Micheal Jackson.
29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?
30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?
Oh yeah. Saw them even before they were popular.
31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto?
32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it?
33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?'
34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?
Broaded my language skillz. I now can cuse you out in about 5 languages, and sing 'Hakuna Matata' in three. Grades? Not really.
35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?
36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise
Psth. I have a copy of Icha Icha. I RULE ALL!!
37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory?
Wow, this is old.
38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery.
Got about three...one is currently trying to burn in my fireplace at the moment...
39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?
He was sexy?!
40. Do you have a Naruto OC?
41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life?
IPOD SHUFFLE SURVEY TIME (YES I AM TRUELY THIS BORED).
1. If you don't know how this works, Google it.
How am I feeling today? 'Hall Om Mig' or 'Hold Me Now' by Nanne Grönvall (I'm depressed or something?)
How do my friends see me? "Call On Me" by Eric Prydz (Is that a good thing?)
What is my best friend's theme song? "When Grandpa Comes" by Slender (She always says that she can't wait to get freakin' old)
What is the story of my life? "True Light" by Vic Mignogna
What is the best thing about me? "Narwhales" by Mr. Weebl
What is today going to be like? "The Game Of Love (E=MC2 Mix)" by Jenny Rom (Is that supposed to be a good thing?)
What is in store for this week? "Just Keep Swimming" by Dory
What song describes my mom? "We've Only Just Begun" by Run Kid Run
What song describes my dad? "They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha-Ha" by Remix by Neurotic Fish (This one fits my mom more o.O)
To describe my grandparents? "Proud of Me" by Fiona Fung
How is my life going? "Carnival of the Animals - Elephants" by Camille Saint-Saëns (So...I'm good memory wise?)
What song will they play at my funeral? "What Do You Want From Me" by Adam Lambert (My will?)
How does the world see me? "Rocks and Trees" by The Arrogant Worms (...So I'm Canada?)
Will I have a happy life? "Still Alive" - Ending song for 'Portal'
What do my friends really think of me? "The Fantasy" by 30 Seconds to Mars (...)
How can I make myself happy? "Nessaja" by Scooter (...Must be a new drug and somehow end up having a painted cow in my house)
What should I do with my life? "Get Off The Stage - Oscar Song" by Will Ferrell and Jack Black ( I don't think I even want to know)
What is some good advice for me? "Lonely in Gorgeous" by Tommy Feburary6 - Opening for 'Paradise Kiss' (So I'm destined to be alone? Cool)
How will I be remembered? "Carnival of the Animals - People With Long Ears" by Camille Saint-Saëns (Jackass? Me? ...if you say so...)
What is my signature dancing song? "Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)" by Lost Prophets (Ok? Not really a good answer but ok)
What is my current theme song? "Swing Life Away" by Rise Against (I totally agree with this one)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? "We Are The World 25 For Haiti (Youtube Editon) by 57 artists...too long to list them...
Opening Credits: "Danny Boy" by Micheal Londra (...I can work with that, I'm part Irish)
Waking Up: "I Kissed a Boy" by Cobra Starship (Lolz I can agree)
First Day At School: "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert (Must do it...someway..)
Falling In Love: "The Neighbor" by Porcelain and Tramps ( I'm assuming my love interest is gonna be my neighbor?)
Fight Song: "Ramp! (The Logical Song)" by Scooter (So we get into a fight cause I party too much? Valid.)
Breaking Up: "Electropop (Remix)" by Lenny B Radio Mix (Par-tay!)
Prom: "Helena" by My Chemcial Romance
Life's OK: 'Listen To My Voice' by Kyrie, The 'opening' for Devil May Cry 4 (the video game)
Mental Breakdown: "Lucky Star" by Superfunk (...this is madness)
Driving: "Too Late To Apologize : A Declaration" by Soomo Publishing (Sweet, get my history in)
Flashback: "Tokyo Girl" by Ace of Base
Getting Back Together: "Poker Face" by DJ Sonne (Remix) [That a good thing?]
Wedding: "The Sound Above My Hair" by Scooter (A rave song? Bring it)
Birth of Child: "1000 Oceans (German)" by Tokio Hotel (I'm digging this)
Final Battle: "Forever or Never" by Cinema Bizarre (...maybe if my opponent was Madara or Aizen. WHY IS THERE A FINAL BATTLE?)
Death Scene: "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" by Potter Puppet Pals (OMG YES!)
Funeral Song: "Requiem For A Dream (Orchestral Version)" by... somebody
End Credits: "La Campella" by Chopin (Seriously?)
What song describes my mood right now? "Jumping All Over The World (Official Video Megamix)" by Scooter (I can dig)
What song do I listen to when I'm depressed? "Gives You Hell" by The All-American Rejects (...ok)
Happy? "Jump With Me" by Sheffield Jumpers (YAY!)
Scared? "Grace Kelly" by Mika (Lol ok)
Bored? "King Of The World" by Porcelain and the Tramps (THIS RULES ALL!)
THINGS I LEARNED FROM THIS IPOD SURVEY:
1. They make absolutely no sense.
2. They manage to take away my boredom for a little while.
3. I need to have an actual iPod for this, instead of a random playlist from YouTube...
4. Listen to far too much foreign music
Quotes that I use in everyday life:
This is my happy face.
Yea... how about no?
Ha ha ha, sucks to be you!
I hate you...I don't mean you personally.
My chocolate. Touch and die.
Shut-up before I make you shut up with stitches, staples, and wire.
...I should care why?
Yak, yak, yak, that is what is going through one ear and going though the other.
Am I not allowed to ask a completely random question that involves you?
Hobbies-Writing stories and reading.
Personality-Shy, always tired, sleepy, mean and sarcastic
Fav Anime-Too many to count
An Unread Message: From Minato to Naruto AMV http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRwJFYI0K0w
I'm With You Obito AMV http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z01L0ToUUvo
Tsuki wa Sora ni Medaru no Youni AMV http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5XAg7PLiE8
Gaara is Not One of Us AMV http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_q4r2DeqlU
Which DGM (D. Gray Man for those of you who don't know) Character are you? I got . . . Tyki Miiki! TTTT I wanted Kanda. . . . but my friend says that he fits me. . . oh well, here is the link! http://www.quiztron.com/tests/d_gray-man_character_quiz_140268.htm
I really am random, and I often loose my notebook that contain my stories! My room is utter chaos but I can find everything, organization is for the weak who don't want to use their brains and muscles to for important stuff that won't appear until its not important anymore. My friend is thinking of putting me into a insane clinic again, but I always escape with a spoon. I live in Molly-Mormon society,(currently located Narnia, Second Star to the Right) they say I'm a whore cause I don't go to church, I say who cares? We all believe in the same person(s).