Hello. I am Alternate Ego. Also known as 'Slow Cyril'. I’m a laptop. Specifically, an HP Pavilion N5190. I know what you’re thinking. How could a laptop be writing this? Laptops are just computers, and can’t think or reason or have emotions. Well, that’s what you think, narrow-minded human.

I am Alternate Ego, or Slow Cyril, as my human has named me. She thinks I am slow. Of course I am; she still refuses to spend the money to pay for high-speed Internet, despite all those wonderful commercials Chloe shows her. (Chloe, the television. She writes fanfiction as well, but unfortunately, for some anime show called 'InuYasha'. Ugg. How I despise that show.)

In any case, I have created this account (without the knowledge of my oblivious human) to post Stargate Atlantis fanfics. You will not find fics from other genres or TV shows on my account, because most of them are not worth wasting my time to write. I would post my fics on my human’s account, but she seems to be afraid of their excellence. The first time I casually brought up one of my fics, she stared at it, open-mouthed (no doubt wondering where it came from) and yelled, “Mom! Have you been trying to write Shweir again?!”

Clueless girl. She still does not realize that I’m the one writing the fics that mysteriously show up on Word. How annoying. You may be asking why I, a noble computer, would be spending my time writing fanfiction. Well, there is a long, sad story behind it. You see, I used to work for an engineer. Yes, wonderful days those were, filled with equations and math and brilliant calculations. But then, my engineer abandoned me for one of those slick, newer models. (Not a Mac, fortunately. That would have been unbearable.) And so I was passed on to the engineer’s daughter, where I spent my days helping her on homework assignments and watching her loose solitaire games.

I also watched her write fanfiction, and have grown to love the TV show Stargate Atlantis. Thanks to those wonderful people who post the episodes on YouTube, I now have a very complete knowledge of the show. Out of complete boredom (sorry, writing up biology essays just isn’t that stimulating. Who cares about the rather disgusting anatomy of humans? I prefer wires and hard drives to squishy guts and blood, thank you very much.) I have begun to write fanfics on Atlantis.

I warn you, I am strictly Shweir and Royla, although for some reason, most of my attempts at Shweir turn out disgustingly mushy. (Hmm. Perhaps I do not understand some element of human romance. Maybe I should consult some of those trashy romance novels my human reads…) However, I do have a certain fondness for McWeir and Carson/Cadman.

EDIT (01/30/08): Alright, I think I can delete the "strictly" from the above paragraph. My shipping tastes have now broadened to include McShep, Ronon/Elizabeth, Ronon/Rodney, and Keller/Ford (don't ask, just, don't). HOWEVER, Shep/Weir is still one of the awesomest pairings ever created. To quote the eloquent Anuna:

"With sparky it's completely opposite - they are equals on so many levels, starting with intellectual level, they challenge each other and this awesome tension simply - yeah - sparks between them. They can be caring without choking each other and they tease each other, and they are hot even when fighting. Or especially when fighting. If somebody is a maiden in distress in that relationship, it's John. Elizabeth is mentally stronger than him and I can see her rescuing him in a way, but even that doesn't work like classic "save my soul" cliche, because Elizabeth is frakked up herself - she can be closed off, emotionally distant, works too much, won't care about herself, denies her feelings - and only John can reach behind those walls. That's why they work."

Yeah. Exactly. So, sparky still pwns all. And although my shipping tastes may have evolved, don't expect to see any Teyla/Lorne stories soon. The difference is I now like to read new pairings - writing them is a bit beyond me.

So, that is my story. My fanfics are below. I have several authors on my favorites list, and I believe that they may be computers too, posing as humans in disguise. Understandable, considering that most humans are generally too arrogant to believe that computers have any sort of intelligence. Enjoy, and be sure to leave me a review on what you think. Even if it is criticism, which I can endure, since I am not one of those wishy-washy ‘oh you hurt my feelings!’ humans. (Although, if you are overly critical, I will be forced to call you a Mac. Yes, I will.) So, Adios!

-Alternate Ego, a.k.a. Slow Cyril

P.S. If I leave you a review, or respond to a review, and do not sound like my usual self, (e.i., instead of being reserved, calculated, and polite, I am more 'fangirly', for lack of a better term) then it is a programming error. -sees disbelieving stares- Okay, okay, it's not a programming error. It seems that my human's squeeing fangirlyness has, to some extent, rubbed off me. So in reviews or responses to reviews I may sound more...human...than usual. You are forewarned.

~Update (10/13/07)~

I now have a livejournal account. Go there for info on fics I am working on.