Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, and Charmed.
Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around
Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep
Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put
CHILDREN SAY THE CUTEST THINGS
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?' Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.' 'Yes,' the class said.'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' A little fellow shouted,
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
When the world says give up, hope whispers try it one more time...
She looks into the mirror and as she wipes away her running mascara she whispers I'm so stupid...
WARNING: I will most likely offend you at some point...
I want to kill myself but I don't wanna die, does that make sense?
I'm the girl who hides her pain with a smile that brightens everyone else's day...
I have issues... (But that's ok, so do you!)
I love my crazy, goofy, stupid, georgus, weired, lame, socially challenged, friends.
Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman!
If we really learned from our mistakes, I'd be a freakin genius by now!
Sick of crying, tired of trying, yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying...
Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonades gonna suck!
Things To Do Today:
Go back to bed
London Olympics 2012, will there be Quidditch?
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!
I'm not random you just can't think as fast as me!
My friends are the type of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish...
When life gives you lemons make grape juice and laugh as the world tries to figure out how you did it...
Bad things happen when I get bored...
Some people are just like slinkies, good for nothing but always bring a smile to your face when you drop it down the stairs...
Friend: calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.Best
Friend: has never seen you cry
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Friend: picks you up when you fall
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Friend: Will ask why your crying. Best Friend: Will be carrying the shovel to bury the loser.
I'm sorry. It's my fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Amnesia and deja vu at the same time: The feeling I have forgotten this before.
If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.
State Prison - Next Right, Lodging - Beside State Prison
Touch my chocolate and I will not hesitate to break your face.
Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
Girls are like phones: We love to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Don't annoy me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
She's my friend, break her heart, I break your face
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