Dorkie
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Joined 11-17-01, id: 127689, Profile Updated: 09-11-12

Deleted everything, no longer posting here. You can find me on A03 as "notvelma"

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When Columnists Finally Crack by the-hippie-whittlers reviews
This is based on the columnists Michael Swaim and Dan O'Brien on the Cracked website. More accurately, it's based on the personalities cultivated by each as portrayed through their articles, web series, and most prominently the series Agents of Cracked.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,446 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Complete
The Ranch Hand by fiberkitty reviews
When Bella hires vet tech Emmett to help out on the ranch she co-owns with Jasper, Emmett spends more time checking out the cowboy than the livestock. Winning entry in the Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy Contest. Emmett/Jasper slash. AH tequila citrus.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,898 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/1/2010 - Published: 10/17/2009 - Emmett, Jasper - Complete
Playing Yenta by vlbuehle reviews
Regs don’t permit fraternizations, so to counteract his boredom, Jim plays matchmaker for everyone else. Bones notices, likes this mature and thoughtful Jim and convinces him to break the rule.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,952 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 36 - Published: 1/23/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Text Dirty to Me by boysinperil reviews
Summary: written for a Glee Kink prompt - inspired by the new episode; Puck/Kurt, sexting. Spoilers: Hairography Disclaimer: Have these two kissed on-screen? No? Then they belong to FOX and Ryan Murphy, not me. Feedback HUGELY appreciated.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Kurt H., Puck - Complete
Power by OfTheDamned reviews
Jasper is tired of Edward boasting about his mind-reading, and tries to prove that his empathic abilities are more powerful. Slash, M for citrusy consequences. Judge's Pick for Best Vamp in the Slash Backslash Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,266 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 83 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Prince Charming by LoveComesLast reviews
**Slash Backslash Contest Entry** Edward is at a low point in his career: playing Prince Charming in Disney World. Fortunately, he has the Beast to play with. AH, SLASH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,339 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 23 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Emmett, Edward
The Unrequited Hypothesis by Measured reviews
And of course he knows why he’s been harping and teasing on Howard: he’s jealous. He wants to be the one Howard is reminded when looking at a bean casserole or Turbrisket. Howard/Raj.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 769 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 28 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Rajesh K., Howard W. - Complete
Made to Measure by Steals Thyme reviews
Gratuitous fluff; Dan needs a new suit. The inevitable happens. Dan/Rorschach, 1968. Complete.
Watchmen - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,613 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Dan D./Nite Owl, Walter K./Rorschach - Complete
Gretna Green by graceandfire reviews
Heh, so, this would be part of that overly crowded 'Star Trek Alternate Universe Regency Romance' genre. Bones/Jim slash. Warnings for language, misuse of the Regency era, and a truly, seriously creepy villain who threatens/wants Jim.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,280 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/10/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Good Night, Lady Knight by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner reviews
It's that time of the year again -- when Blanche's mysterious suitor shows up at the Halloween dance and Dorothy comes as close as she dares to her secret love. Femme Slash.
Golden Girls - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,746 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Dorothy Z., Sophia P. - Complete
To Some Extent by PreventPersuadePervert reviews
Jacob Black is unhappy and really needs something good to happen, just for once. But isn't that just what friends are for? Smut/Slash. Extended Version.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,034 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Jacob, Seth - Complete
Fit and Finish by ricebol reviews
The best way to not make it out the door on time is to overdress. Completely self-indulgent but non-explicit slash, for my own amusement.
Watchmen - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Walter K./Rorschach, Dan D./Nite Owl - Complete
Kyle in Chains by DanniDinmont reviews
Kyle has a problem, and it seems that there's only one solution to it. Slash, Kyle/Cartman.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 185,687 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 347 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Kyle B., Eric Cartman
It's Really Good to Hear your Voice by fillthesilence reviews
Late night phone calls. Quinn/Rachel one-sided femslash please R&R
Glee - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Quinn F., Rachel B. - Complete
Virgin Territory by Mindy35 reviews
Jack/Liz. How did Jack know when Liz became a woman?
30 Rock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,833 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/20/2009 - [Jack D., Liz L.] - Complete
Gene Tierney by Curley Green reviews
BJ began to strip, starting with his boots. "It's all about the overbite, is it? Is that what she has that I don't?" Hawkeye/BJ. One-shot.
M*A*S*H - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/23/2009 - BJ H., Hawkeye P. - Complete
Thin Line by rainbowfish22 reviews
Seth knows that this is wrong. Seth/Jacob drabble.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Seth, Jacob - Complete
Aim and Miss by InformalSpoofer reviews
He’s never made an invitation like this to Rorschach before, but suddenly the thought of his partner spending the rest of the night alone is the only thing on his mind. Nite Owl/Rorschach.
Watchmen - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,426 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Dan D./Nite Owl, Walter K./Rorschach - Complete
Summer by notsotragic reviews
Summer's ambitious Momma longs to become the next big thing in country music, and uproots her two young daughters to follow her dream of becoming famous. But is the price of her young girls' innocence worth it? -new chapter up-
Dollanganger Saga - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,348 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/24/2009 - Published: 12/31/2006
Mouth by Lady Anatui reviews
SEQUEL NOW UP! Stef/Mouth. Mouth tries to convince Stef that he's called "Mouth" for a different reason than what she thinks, and she has a hard time believing him.
Goonies - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,459 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Stef, Mouth - Complete
Hate by Whil-o-whisp reviews
Red Goth hates everything. has naughty language!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Curly Goth, Red Goth - Complete
The Possibility of the Improbable by Jayden Scott reviews
I have no excuse for this story or pairing. Crossover between Trillian/Sam Carter Stargate . Contains depictions of two women in graphic loving situations.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Complete
Friday's Child by Lisse reviews
Ten facts about one girl. Sorta-metafic, ginormous Breaking Dawn spoilers.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 819 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
We Built the Pyramids by Ku-chyan reviews
--Sheldon/Leonard-- Ten meme based drabbles.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,412 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Complete
Joe Gipp and the Babysitter by SadEyedLadyoftheLowlands reviews
Adventures in Babysitting Fic. Self Explanatory. Joe Gipp and Chris Parker should have ended up together. Here's how it all went down after the film. One Shot.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,595 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Complete
Subtle by Sorrel reviews
Five times Daniel cock-blocks Jack and Jack doesn't mind . Jack/Daniel slash, spoilers for season 7.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,426 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/6/2008 - J. O'Neill, D. Jackson - Complete
Naïve Charm by Jewcika reviews
I can't get laid, and I can't get a break. All I can get is nail polish remover all over my pants. I'm starting to think that 'naiveté' isn't the right word. Stan's POV. StanButters. Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,134 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/20/2007 - Stan M., Butters S. - Complete
97 Safety First by Pocketface reviews
Gregory really wishes that Christophe would be more careful. GregoryxChristophe slash
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,828 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/9/2007 - Gregory, Christophe - Complete
It's Always The Quiet Ones by multiples of six reviews
Natalie doesn't know how to tell Susan she likes her. Fortunately, aliens are around to help. [femmeslash, one shot]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,158 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Susan B. - Complete
Serendipity by Aurifex reviews
Kenny and Cartman pose a bet to Stan and Kyle that will, although it is accidental, change their lives forever. Style and Slash. Chapter 12 up now, FINALLY!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,718 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 4/7/2007 - Published: 9/8/2006 - Stan M., Kyle B.
Strange Bedfellows by Lyrastar reviews
It is said that politics makes strange bedfellows, and surely war is the strangest politics of all. HawkeyeTrapper slash.
M*A*S*H - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,266 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/1/2007 - Hawkeye P., Trapper M. - Complete
Wanker by Wednesdayschilde reviews
You never know where namecalling will lead! LegolasGimli slash
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,629 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Gimli, Legolas - Complete
Happy Birthday, Baby by smallboxes reviews
Out of the corner of his eye, Drake saw Megan wander into the living room but at the moment there were more important things to attend to. Like getting Josh not to hate him. [slash]
Drake & Josh - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,110 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/27/2006 - Complete
When You Call My Name by MidnightBlue88 reviews
Oneshot, Brian’s POV. After detention, Brian and Andy lean on one another for support and relief from their stifling family situations. As the months go on, they find that their bond is deeper than they realized. AndyBrian friendship, eventual slash.
Breakfast Club - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,632 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/18/2006 - Complete
Still Water by Sorrel reviews
In the aftermath of Sho’nac’s death, Teal’c considers if the SGC is the place for him. Daniel, in turn, gives him something to think about. Teal'cDaniel slash, post Crossroads.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,953 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/9/2006 - Teal'c, D. Jackson - Complete
The Consecration of the Order by Culumacilinte reviews
The book tells us that on the night of the founding of the Order, the four girls got drunk and Felicity kissed Gemma. However, that surely was not quite all that happened, at least not how I see it. FelicityGemma slash.
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,550 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/7/2006 - Complete
Shut Up by incielum reviews
Complete. Shounen Ai, puppyshipping. Jou's tired of the same old argument and adds a little bit of twist. Review, please.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/6/2006 - K. Jounouchi/Joey W., S. Kaiba - Complete
Nothing Lasts Forever by TarynWanderer reviews
Joe had gone to hell and back for Dex, and he'd do it again. Slash
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,897 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2005
Beyond the Pixels by Zelia Theb reviews
Jou can't wait to play the latest net game with his friends. Who is this hot new female adventurer? Are they even female beyond the monitor? They say that people break out of their shell when they are online. Complete JouSeto
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,743 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/23/2004 - Published: 6/20/2004 - K. Jounouchi/Joey W., S. Kaiba - Complete
Severus Snape, Computer Hacker by Davenrood reviews
7th years Hermione and Harry sneak computers into the school and invent the HogwartsNet. When Snape finds out, he decides to have some fun...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 34,313 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 5/22/2004 - Published: 6/25/2003 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Oblivious by Divine-Fayth reviews
When Ron comes back from a date to find Harry sat alone waiting for him, he doesn't seem to realise that there's anything unusual going on. (Warning: Slash.)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,758 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/27/2004 - Harry P., Ron W.
Christmastime by Miss Puppylove reviews
Sirius, Remus, Christmas at Hogwarts, and a convenient couch in the common room. What more could anyone possibly want? (Slash, fluffy)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,347 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/25/2003 - Remus L., Sirius B.
I'm Not Gay! by l'Ange de Morte reviews
Drabble. The last line just came up and hit me. Harry gives a speech when he graduates to announce his fiance. Which is Severus Snape!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/23/2003 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Never been Kissed by Estella Greenleaf reviews
Another Aragorn/Legolas slash.... Legolas is a shy introvert who returns to warrior training camp. Would he get more than what he bargained for? *completed*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 108,759 - Reviews: 720 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 2/21/2003 - Published: 10/10/2002 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Little Bat Wings by foggynite reviews
The Little Vampire. Almost a decade after the change, and Rudolph can't forget. Tony doesn't want him to. Slash.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,359 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/15/2003
Mistletoe by Kryztal Alpha reviews
It's Christmas Eve at Hogwarts and detention has been set. Uh oh. Includes, but is not limited to- snogging, giggling, mistletoe, fairies, a cat, a red silk bow a professor who is, in the words of one Ron Weasley, 'Getting some.' Harry/ Ron fluffy SLASH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 867 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/5/2003 - Harry P., Ron W.
Midday by Faerie Fighter reviews
A little afternoon fun for the Weasley twins. Slash/Twincest/FWGW
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/30/2002 - George W. - Complete
Mrs Norris, frustrated, poetical by chilly-a reviews
to Filch...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 638 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2002 - Argus F.
Theory and Practice by Silvia Kundera reviews
Twincest as a small, one act play. (Slash, Incest)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 808 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/22/2002 - George W., George W.
Unthinkable Thoughts by Aidan Lynch reviews
**THIS FIC IS FINALLY COMPLETE!!!** The last part of this H/D slash tale sees our two heroes face up to their biggest issue yet, and a great deal hinges on how they cope...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 148,567 - Reviews: 2415 - Favs: 2,078 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 8/22/2002 - Published: 11/10/2001 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Summer Morning by Restina Lovebug reviews
Both Sam and Frodo discover new feelings. Slash
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,532 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/13/2002 - Published: 5/10/2002 - Samwise G., Frodo B.
Perfect Boys by Sakura Endo reviews
Harry has problems and askes Percy for help, but Percy needs help himself. Slash Harry/Percy
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,328 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/29/2002 - Harry P., Percy W.