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Joined 05-18-07, id: 1281039, Profile Updated: 08-05-09
Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.

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WARNING: This profile may include random outbursts of Twilight, Maximum Ride, John Green, and Harry Potter sentences, quotes, and just plain stupidity. Potential side affects are twitching, dissiness, and temporary mental issues. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

But not really...

Hello everyone! My name is Elizabeth, but most people call me Beth. Here are the things you need to know about me.


And I love it!

But I think everyone on this site already knew that.

Anyways, I read. A lot. I also draw. A lot.

I love reading. Duh. I love drawing. Duh.

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE Math. Especially Algebra, and I'm going into Trig. Still pretty cool. In fact, I've memorized a "small" portion of pi. Yeah. 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288. This was not copied and pasted, otherwise I would have copied and pasted more. Still, 36 digits is pretty good, right?

I'm also on my highschool swim team. (Go Eagles!) As you can imagine, I love that, too.

Let's see...

I also love my music. Cute Is What We Aim For, All Time Low, Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Hit the Lights, 3OH!3, Lady GaGa, Escape the Fate, The Beatles, Blue October, and We the Kings are some of my favorite bands.

One last thing. I LOVE MY PENGUINS!

Penguins are amazing.
Amazing are penguins.

And vise versa.

I have many book obsessions, too. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Twilight Series, but I understand why some people don't like it. Some of the characters, like Edward and Bella, don't have very umm... realistic personalities. But the most Cullens have AMAZING personalities, like Alice and Emmett!

I also love the Maximum Ride Series by James Patterson. They're awesome! Max is so sarcastic, and Fang is so hot! TeeHee...

Another favorite series of mine is Harry Potter. I have no complaints about this series AT ALL! I love all the books, especially Deathly Hallows. It's my favorite!! :D

Another series I'm getting into is the Gemma Doyle Trilogy. FINALLY ont he third book! OH. MY. GOD... KARTIK. :)

I LOVE JOHN GREEN! He is the funniest, and most realistic authors I've ever heard of. His books are meaningful, they have a moral, they are realistic, along with the characters, and they're just SO FUN TO READ!!

I alos like 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It's a very good, but very sad book.

Stephenie Meyer, the author of Twilight, wrote another book called The Host. It's amazing, nothing like Twilight, and it's really good. Jared and Ian... Whew!

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is also another good book. I read it in English class.

Another book from English class. The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingslover.

Well, I guess that's it about me! Keep reading!! :D

Please read.

Disclaimer: OK, so I don't write a lot, but to save precious time to read my dear obsessions, I am going to say this now...

I- 1) pronoun the nominative
singular pronoun, used by a
speaker in referring to himself
or herself 2) noun used to denote
the narrator of a literary work
written in the first person singular

Don't- 1) verb contraction of do not
2) noun A statement of what
should not be done

Own- 1) adj of, pertaining to, or
belonging to oneself or itself 2)
to acknowledge as one's own;
recognize as having full claim,
authority, power, dominion, etc

Anything- 1) pronoun any thing
whatever; something, no matter
what 2) noun a thing of any kind
3) adv in any degree; to any
extent; in any way; at all.

So. I recently did a report about global warming. If there is one thing I learned from it, it is that THE PENGUINS ARE IN DANGER. Please, help save the penguins. I don't care how you do it. Ride your bike to school or the mall or something. Walk. (I do.) Just help the penguins. They love you. Love them back. Here is part of the article.

'Death' March of the Penguins
Scientists blame global warming for the declining penguin population, as warmer waters and smaller ice floes force the birds to travel further to find food. “Emperor penguins ... have dropped from 300 breeding pairs to just nine in the western Antarctic Peninsula."'


Here is the URL to the full article.


List of Potential Edward Cullens.

1. Gaspard Ulliel.
2. Andrew James Allen.
3. I forgot his name... Sorry. Here he is!
4. Tom Sturridge! Read on, my friends!

~Funny Little... Things?

~I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

~When Life gives you lemons, throw them at someone!

~It takes a lot of brains to look as dumb as I do.

~I sat back looking at the stars and began to think... where the hell is my roof...

~When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

~My mind works like brilliant flash and it's gone.

~The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

~Do not take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.

~Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

~I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly. (Edward, of course!)

~Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

~It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

~I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

~I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

~I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

~I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

Even when you cant see him GOD is there! If you belive in GOD put this in your profile.


92 of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 that would be laughing your ass off.

93 of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

65 of teens watch TV instead of read. If you are part of the 35 who read more than watch TV, copy and paste this onto your profile.

95 of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, OnEtHoUsAnDsWeEtKiSsEs, SiriusLovesRent, FelineMimiDavis74, mustardgirl1128, VampireAngel017

99.5 of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to comunicate, and fanfiction is a much better way, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 of the teenage population is or has tried smoking pot. If your one of the 2 who haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I... Like... Cereal

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Coco Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the damn leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerdness and Crazyness

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever called you a nerd and you thanked them, copy this into your profile.

If you get WAY too excited about books, movies, etc, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If one by one, the penguins steal your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you agree that rum is for burning, not drinking, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your one of those people who get so excited when you get 2 reviews, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this into your profile! (How the hell does paper beat rock?!

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is freaking annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. If you believe this, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apparent reason, copy this to your profile.

And here begins the Twilight section...


If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse memorized, copy this into your profile.

If you wished that the world of Twilight came true, copy and paste this into your file.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I like my men pale, immortal and bloodthirsty. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.




If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy this into your profile. (I'll personally supply the pitchforks.)

If you get pissed and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this into your profile.

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile. (This one better spread like wildfire.)

If you ever wished you could take Bella's place in Twilght, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh, when you put on a Halloween costume in the middle of the year for no reason and walk around the park singing a random song. If you're crazy, copy and paste this onto your profile!

And now for the Maximum Ride section...

If you think MAX was the BEST book in the Maximum Ride Series, copy and paste this into your profile... NOW.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile. (See top of Profile.)

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill an eraser/flyboy to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (I really wanted to beat the shit out of the director in Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports... I actually blew up at my brother when I was done reading that part!)



By copying and pasting this onto your profile, you vow to respect others pairings and the people who like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions, but not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about storys even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt copy and past this onto your profile.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder (Oh My GoOdNeSs! I have freak'n ADHD!)


~Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fsrit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on!!~


A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...


1. Avoid using punctuation
2. Finish all sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
3. When you go through a drive through, specify that your order is "to go"
4. When you go out to eat, order a diet water in a serious voice
5. At the zoo, exit while screaming, "They're loose, run for your lives!"
6. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "The sun!! It's dying!!"...
7. Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooh... I get it!!"...
8. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment
9. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
10. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"
11. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone
12. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page (I did that for my Harry Potter book! YEAH!)
13. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims
14.Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results
15. As people talk, smell their shoulders
16. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening
17. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food
18. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme song. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
19. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds... You're weird!" Leave the restaurant
20. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn

Oh, and check out MissDot. She's really good!

Hope you enjoyed my rambling! Now enjoy my crappy stories!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and The World Reborn by andelyn kinsey reviews
The Second War has ended, and so much work is left still to do. Death Eaters are still at large, the Ministry and its laws are in disarray, families have been torn apart. Harry and his friends struggle to find their places in the new world.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 248,148 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 611 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Passion by SkyBlueTattoo reviews
Fang isn't feeling well so Max goes to check on him, she gets quite a bit more then she bargained for. Iggy wants to know what happened, but how far will he go to find out? FAX! Rated for major kissing and suggestive dialogue... mostly from Iggy. One-shot
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,737 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
What the Hell is Life's Problem? reviews
Just something I thought of when I was bored. Shows Max and Fang's friendship with a little humor at the end. Rated T for swearing. R&R please!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete