Author has written 3 stories for Alex Rider, Ranger's Apprentice, and Harry Potter.
Kitty of the loners club
Some people look at me weird... I don't know why... maybe it's my friends... yeah that must be it!
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6
Of course this wouldn't be a proper profile page if I didn't have any thank you's, so here it goes;
There is only one person in this world who can withstand my obsession with story talk and who also gives as good as she gets so THANK YOU The Alleycat Ulan!! You're stories are awesome, you're ideas are awesome...in fact you are just awesome!! Not very poetic I know but bear with me.
And of course I wouldn't be writing, or most importantly talking about story ideas if it wasn't for my trusted fans. It is still unclear though on whether I actually have any but a few people have put my stories on favourites and alerts so I'm directing this thank you to you. Even if you're only 50 people out of 9 billion on the planet, it's a start.
Conversations that some people hear wrong.
"Fruits basket" ..."Loot's casket"
"The kid gets looked up"..."The kid gets knocked up"
"Me and my yakuza army took over the world"..."Me and my uncles arm took over the world"
"Oh the Pain"..."Another pen"
"Kicking each other"..."Hitting on each other"..."Did each other"
"I have mint ones"..."I have big ones"
"I'm amazing!"..."I'm a man again!"
"When you were new"..."When you were nude"
"Was testing her"..."Had sex with her"
"Cosplay costume"..."Power mistrune"
"Ya know how I'm dating dylan?"..."Ya know how I'm doing Dylan?"
"I really like your voodoo"..."I really like your boobies"
"I want to get it layered again"..."I want to get layed agian"
"A pack of flying fish!"..."I f*d a flying fish!"
"We're making meatloaf"..."We're making footlove"
"This guy have 50 marijuana plants"..."The sky had 50 marijuana plants"
"Wow, thats a big clock!"..."Thats a big cock!"
WHY DID I SAY THAT?
One of the boys in our year 10 class asking our science teacher a question: "What's the difference between Human Biololgy and Biology?"..."err, that would be the 'Human' part.
Tiana-"A thought crossed your mind, must've been a long, lonely journey."
Me- "I don't get it."
Tiana- "Do you speak English!?"
Me - "...What?"
5 Things I Can't Stand People Doing
1. Writting reply's to your reviews at the beginning of the next chapter. There is a proper place were you can send them people! I don't want to know what you say in your replys! and it makes the chapter seem longer when it really isn't! i've found people who have less story then they do writting out there reply's. Please don't, it's a waste of your time, and most people actually like to read the story.
2. Flaming; I don't see the point, all it does is make the author feel hurt and inadequate. If you don't want anyone who writes bad stories out there then tell them what they can do better! Constructive criticism people! It works wonders if you use it!
3. The opposite to number 2. When people review and all they write is "OMG!I love it so much!" yeah it's nice and it makes you feel good. But what did you like about it? What didn't you like? What can I improve on? Do I have any spelling mistakes? Are they in character? I need something to work with people!
4. Summaries. Does anyone actually know what there for? There is an amazing number of people out there that just write "Please read, it's really good! I just suck at Summaries." I don't care! I want to know what your story is about. Anything other than that will do! I'm sorry but I don't read any of the stories that have no summaries. I want to know what I'm reading.
5...ok I'm done ranting now.
Robin Hood BBC - Pink Sky In The Morning
“HE DID WHAT?!”
“He escaped, but one of my men managed to injure him,” Gisbourne stated, his nonchalant demeanour a sharp contrast to the Sheriff’s rather obvious rage.
“Gisbourne, tell me, how many men do you have?” Vaysey asked with exaggerated patience, pacing back and forth. Somebody was going to pay for this humiliation.
“And how many men were they chasing?”
“THEN HOW DID HE MANAGE TO ESCAPE?!”
Harry Potter - 13 Signs
“If its an actual bloody medical condition, I’ll be happy to perform europasia,” Sirius grumbled, but raised a proud eyebrow, trying to see if anyone caught the word that he used.
“Euro--what?” James asked the incoherent Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes at James’ apparent ignorance.
“Europasia! You know, killing someone to put them out of their misery.” Sirius tapped his nose. Remus shook his head as his friend continued to butcher the English language.
“Sirius, that’s euthanasia you’re talking about.”
Peter looked up from his Exploding Snap game and cocked his head to the side. “What do young Chinese people have to do with killing someone to put them out of their misery?” he asked with curiosity.
“Chinese people kill?!”
“Some Chinese people can kill—”
“This is quite an culture filled day for me. First I make out with that hot Japanese chick in Ravenclaw and now I learn that Chinese people kill?! Asia’s totally AWESOME!”
“They obviously send the little ones to do their dirty work too, cus its youth in Asia—“
“OH WOW! Is it like a Mob?! Are they murderers over there or something!?”
“No they apparently think what they’re doing is good because they think they’re putting someone out of their misery—“
“THEY TORTURE THEM BEFORE KILLING THEM!? COO.L!! I wanna live there. Peter we’re taking a trip to China—“
“Sirius you’d be dead the second you opened your mouth.”
“Way to be a party pooper Jamesy boy.”
“It’s what I live for—“
“No!!” Remus finally put an end to the madness ”Not Youth in Asia, euthanasia.”
“I fail to see the difference in pronunciation,” Sirius proclaimed with a blank look.
“Well I don’t care, that’s the correct term! It is, by no means, europasia, Sirius.”
“I’m a pasia, am I?” Sirius, who had the memory of a rodent, took his newly created word as an insult. “Yeah?! Well you’re a DUCK! Take THAT!”
Remus looked puzzled by Sirius’ rebuttal. “How is a duck insulting?”
“They…quack and stuff? I don’t know, they’re just so bloody annoying! Sort of like James. I know I was trying to make a point earlier about him, remind me what it was again Moony?”
Harry Potter - Notes In Potions
S- I wish Nicole would kiss me in the middle of class.
R- Never going to happen, Padfoot.
S- And why the hell not?
J- Because she hates you.
S- But why?
R- It is so typical of you to forget when you’ve hexed a girl’s hair bright pink.
S- Shit! That was her??
J- Yep, on the train last year.
S- Oh fuck.
L- I’m sure she’s over it by now.
J- I mean, how long did it take for you to forgive me after I set your Potions essay on fire?
L- That was YOU?!
L- Good- Oh God, Clarkson’s seen the note!
J- Fuck! Rip it up!
R- Why do we always seem to get caught passing notes in class?
J- I don’t know my clever little Remus.
S- Shit! I just stabbed myself with my quill!
J- He’s taking his time hobbling over here.
R- His cane was stolen last week.
S- We really should give that back.
Harry Potter - Confessions of a Marauder
James Potter’s List of Weird Things Girls Do
1. Make-up: Believe it or not, guys are not turned on by seeing gobs of wax. I mean, it's bad enough biting into a wax fruit at some posh restaurant. Guys don't snog you so they can taste wax.
2. PMS: Every month, a girl becomes irritable, mean, and downright pissed off at everything. I’m sorry their hormones are out of whack, but it doesn’t mean they can scream at us. And throw various articles at us, including hairbrushes, quills, and textbooks. And some of those girls have killer aim.
3. Prince Charming: It’s sweet and all that girls think some handsome guy’s going to come galloping up to them, all suave and macho, causing them to swoon, and marry them and live happily ever after. But, newsflash, that’s a bloody fairy tale. If they think one of us guys is going to actually do that, then they are sick and deranged.
4. Cry/Show Emotions: Um, it’s healthy to cry and let out your feelings, but don’t get us involved. It’s bloody frustrating having a girl slobber all over your shirt, and have her accuse you of having the emotional capacity of a spoon.
5. Go To The Loo In Packs: Do girls watch each other “relieve themselves”? That’s gross, man.
6. Gossip: Does anyone really care what so-and-so did with her boyfriend? Everyone has secrets, so get over it.
7. Hygiene: Yes, I get the fact that we guys are dirty pigs. There’s no reason to rub it in our face. And besides, we guys don’t go around sniffing each other and declaring them to be “spring-time fresh”. You do. Tell me who the creepy one is.
Girls are weird, man.
Yet you run around Lily, begging her for a date.
You know what, Remus?
Harry Potter - Stalking Lily Evens
Speaking of Padfoot, he is all pleased because he met a girl in town on Sunday night. She got stood up at the pub, and Padfoot, being the kind gentleman he is, went to comfort her.
Thirty minutes later, they're playing tonsil hockey in a corner.
Padfoot came home at six in the morning with his shirt mis-buttoned and his shoes on the wrong feet.
He disgusts me.
Told him so. He smirked and said, "You're just jealous 'cause I got off with a twenty-three-year-old and you're still pining after Evans."
"She was twenty-three?"
"Oh, yes. Experiencedas hell." Which makes him, what? Inadequate? Didn't inquire any further for fear of projectile vomiting.
Pause. "You're seventeen."
"A seventeen-year-old who can get off with twenty-three-year-old blonde girls."
Long pause. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal."
Stare. "No way."
"Sixteen is the age of consent." Pause. "Right?"
Shake head. Sing: "Jail bait…"
"I am not jail bait!" Stand up too fast, knock over chair. Storm out of room.
Actually, I'm pretty sure sixteen is the age of consent, but Padfoot is just too easy to wind up. I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
The Night Angel Trilogy - The Way Of Shadows
"Your Majesty, " Durzo said gravely, "A man of your stature's cursing vocabulary should be beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears,"
The Night Angel Trilogy - Beyond the Shadows
"What happens now?" Kylar asked.
"One more errand and then, well...I'm going to write a book."
Kylar tented his eyebrows. "No offence, Your Ogrishness, but what are you going to write a book about?"
"You know how I've always loved words. I'm going to write a book of words."
"I was under the impression that most books are."
"Not composed of words. I'm going to write a book defining all the words in our language. I'm calling it a dictionary."
"You're writting in Jaeran?"
"Defining Jaeran words?"
"So you already have to know Jaeran to read it?"
"You make it sound stupid," Logan said, scowling.
"Hmm." Kylar gave an I-wonder-why-that-is? shrug.
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
I swallowed hard on a spurt of nerve-induced nausea. This whole meet could go south in a heart beat if Vayl and Cole got to feeling competitive. And it would be my fault for not controlling my hormones better. Damn chemicals. Why couldn't our bodies run on something simpler -- like coal?
An image rose to my mind of Vayl and me walking around belching black smoke rings. I laughed inwardly. Wouldn't that change the world though? everybody would have automatic dental coverage just to keep their teeth from looking like the inside of a chimney. And we'd be recycling our solid waste because sludge makes nifty ashtrays.