NotToBeMessedWith
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Joined 05-27-07, id: 1286995, Profile Updated: 05-09-09
Author has written 12 stories for Maximum Ride, Song of the Lioness, Twilight, Inheritance Cycle, and Harry Potter.

Don't hold me up now

I can stand my own ground,

I don't need your help now,

You would let me down,

down,

down...

A NOTE TO ALL MY READERS: ALL MY STORIES ARE ON TEMPORARY HIATUS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Hi there, I'm Elise. I am extremely unhealthly hooked on Maximum Ride, as you might be able to tell. I'm a runner for the Nonnewaug Chiefs, who PWN all but football - our team SUCKS.

I have read every Tamora Pierce book available, and cannot wait for the sequel to Terrier.

Also obsessed with Twilight. WAY too obsessive. KAKFIEWGFBK SHE BETTER PUBLISH MIDNIGHT SUN!!

If you want more info about yours truly, message me. Just nothing sleezy, or I'll hunt you down to kill you in your sleep.

Better yet, I'll get Max and Beka (and Edward or Murtagh... --drools--) to do it. ;-)

--puts stamp on forehead-- FallOutBoyAddict (me and my ppl went to their concert in November. Kind of got hooked on their music. oops... cough already memorized entire Folie a Deux CD...)

"Pretty Little Liars" = single most dementedly awesome thing ever. Sara Shepard is a slightly insane genius.

Heehee, the WARRIORS rule!! ~Smallfoot~, tis me ;-)

Holly Black pwns. Cute fairys are overrated. Evil faeries pwn all.

"The Sweet Far Thing" made me cry. Just warning all of you Libba Bray fans!

Jacob Black must die a slow and preferably excrutiatingly painful death!!

I must confess... I AM A CLOSET GOSSIP GIRL BOOK ADDICT!

I want to be the next Christopher Paolini. If you ever see a book on shelves by Elise U., IT'S BY ME! BUY IT!! (if that one gets published, there will be more!)

I was FORMERLY Flying-High-9020 and Happily-Spaztic. But those got boring. My NEW name is a warning. To evil bee-otches --coughcough--GRAYSON--coughcough--

Fav Authors

Hiwatari-Angel-15 (Bloodlust and Bloodlust 2: Queen of Hearts for Maximum Ride)

IrishSaints (Rain for Law and Order: SVU)

The Dragon Kasia (Love is Life for Tamora Pierce)

Shang It (Beka's Cat for Tamora Pierce)

The Pensive Poet (Sacrifices for Twilight)

vjgm (Parenting Skills 101 and Family Therapy for Twilight)

Dynasty-Angel (Destiny Through Fate for Eragon)

Nihan (Evergreen for Eragon)

alsdssg (Why Canon and Fanon Don't Mix for Eragon)

AneleTiger (Hate, Or Something Like That for Harry Potter)

AND MY FAVORITE AUTHOR

piperchick and her amazing story for MaxRide - Finding Home!

My BFFFFFFFFS

Margaret

Paige

Elizabeth

Nikki

Kaley

Nellie

Super Seven ForEVAH!!

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NONNEWAUG XC: ROCKS MY SOXXXX OFFFF!! I'M AN ALL STAR, KISS MY ASS!!

Bella Swan in my soul-sister! I walk into everything and trip over air too!!

A THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS OF ATTACK OF THE CLICHES!!

Fav Bands/Songs (not really complete list)

Matchbox 20 - How Far We've Come

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down, Atrophy, Justify, In Fate's Hands, Disconnected; they make the top... but I've got all af their music... -heh- just a bit crazed...

Bullet For My Valentine - Tears Don't Fall

We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet

Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue, Lights and Sounds

Linkin Park - In The End, Numb, What I've Done, Shadow of the Day

The Academy Is - Attention, Down And Out, Slow Down, Classified, Neighbors, We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands

Hinder - Better Than Me

Boys Like Girls - The Great Escape, Hero/Heroine

Fall Out Boy - Pretty much anything they sing, but XO is by far my favorite. And Beat It. And the entire compilation of their music...

Vanessa Carlton - White Houses

P!nk - Dear Mr. President, Who Knew, U + Ur Hand

Paramore - Misery Buisness, Crushcrushcrush, Emergency, EVERYTHING

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words, Teenagers, Sleep, EVERYTHING

Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure --does funkeh dance to go with it!--

Cute Is What We Aim For - The Curse Of Curves

Finger 11 - Paralyzer

Fort Minor - Remember the Name (THE only rap song I truly LOVE)

Gym Class Heroes - Shoot Down the Stars, Cupid's Chokehold

Madina Lake (amazing, amazing, amazing) - House of Cards (top lyrics), Here I Stand, The Auspice, One Last Kiss

Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino

Seether - Like Suicide, 6 Gun Quota, Fake It, Rise Above This, Breakdown

Flyleaf - Sorrow, Cassie, All Around Me, I'm So Sick, EVERYTHING

Angels and Airwaves - Secret Crowds

Panic at the Disco - Nine in the Afternoon

Tokio Hotel - Scream, Ready Set Go!

The All-American Rejects - Swing, Swing

And more I'm way too lazy to list!

Fav Pairings

BellaEdward

MaxFang

BekaRosto

JakeLeah

EragonArya

MurtaghNasuada

BrambleSquirrel

LeafCrow

GinnyHarry

RonHermione

ClaryJace

HollyTrouble

ArtemisMinerva

Really, are there any other sweeter ones than these?

Pairings That Make Me Want To Gouge Out My Eyes With A Spork

BellaMike - HELLO! Human, stupid... who in their right minds would choose him over EDWARD!?

BellaJasper - If Stephenie Meyer WANTED Alice to love Edward or some other twisted thing for these two to get together, don'tcha think she would've it that way!!

MaxIggy - Max and Fang are meant to be. Let's just leave it at that. This applies to other mismatches as well. And Iggy is MINE!

MaxSam - --gags and dies--

FangLissa - --gags and dies more--

BellaJake - EWWWWW. No offense to you Jakelovers out there, but BELLA chose EDWARD. Just FYI. And Jake has been destroyed repeatedly in AOTC.

AshSquirrel - BLECH. Complete and utter blech. Ash is a LOSER.

CrowNight - errggg, I could KILL Erin Hunter for making that pairing. Nightcloud is a pushy beee-ooootttccchhh! -stabs Nightcloud repeatedly-

EragonMurtagh - INCEST!! AUGHAUGHAUGH!! IT - BURNNNSSSSSS!!

HarryHermione - I mean, I love them both. But Harry would NEVER backstab Ron like that. EVER!

ClarySimon - I don't know what it is about Simon. I vaguely despise him for no particular reason.

HollyArtemis - -cue spasmodic twitching- ick. I know they kissed, but no. Just no. Eoin Colfer - no.

Again, no offense to those who actually write this stuff. I just consider it complete and utter literary crap. Nah, just kidding. I just don't support it.

I am happy. I have officially cloned Iggy. Nudge can have clone Iggy. I get real Iggy!

--glomps on to Iggy--

Iggy: Ummm... cool!

Max: Sexist pig boy...

Me: MY SEXY SEXIST PIG BOY!

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Beware, all. I have been given a bow and arrow set for Christmas. 50" bow. 7 rather sharp arrows. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Just a few snippets of hilarity from my droll, high school SOPHOMORE life.

Bre: So, what should we do the "super vauge" run on sentence about?

Me: ...

Eggplants.

xXxXxXx

Meaghan: God, Elise, you're such a klutz!

Me: Am not! --at the exact moment, falls down stairs--

Meaghan: ... yeah you are.

xXxXxXx

Me: Nellie, what's with the silver sharpie?

Nellie: --spazes-- MY SHARPIE!

xXxXxXx

Me: -is running really late, swings locker door shut-

Mackenzie (girl with the locker right under me): OW! S--T!!

Nikki: Oh. My. God. It took you all of 5 days to nearly give poor Mackenzie a concussion with the locker.

xXxXxXx

(In a restaurant for my friend's party)

Sarah: I'm bored, Elise.

Me: I'm bored too, Sar.

--look at one another, then both pick up pieces of lettuce and throw them at our unsuspecting friend Mike--

xXxXxXx

(At a movie for said party)

--All watching "Hairspray" and laughing at the song "Timeless to Me"--

--John Travolta smacks his butt and waltzes with other guy; he is dressed as a woman--

Devon: O.o

Me: You do realize the guy singing right now is flirting with a man. In a fat suit.

Devon: -falls off chair-

xXxXxXx

(My old Spanish teacher had this music box that played "The Impossible Dream" from Don Quijote de La Mancha. It was ancient.)

--Music box randomly starts playing--

Mrs. Sheehan: Oh, es magico!!

Sarah: Es broken.

xXxXxXx

--My World Civ teacher while describing a morale speech for the Iraq War--

Mr. Casagrande: We're fighting for America, for democracy, for freedom, family, friends, apple pie, Chevy...

xXxXxXx

--At the Class State Meet--

Me: Hey, was that Arley (our coach)?

Jackie: If he was wearing THE dorkiest cowboy hat on the face of the living earth and saying "y'all", yes.

xXxXxXx

(At Journalism, Eric (dude in our class) used "hot soup" to describe my friend and our friend Mike's girlfriend. Mike apparently forgot that)

-In freezing hallway at SCSU-

Mike: Man, I really want some hot soup!

Me and Kaley: -stare- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Mike: I don't get - OH. NOT THAT WAY, YOU PERVERTS!

xXxXxXx

(Mike and I are in an editorial war - we're writing about the same issue from opposite sides)

Mike: You are so going to lose.

Me: Am not! You are DEAD, Clemens.

Kaley: Thank God I don't sit between you two.

Mike and me: mwahahahah...

(Next day, we beat Kaley there. She has the seat in between us)

Me: Your article will never beat mine!

Mike: Oh, yes it will!

Kaley: Whyyyyy...?

(P.S. - I won)

xXxXxXx

A NOTE TO INTERESTED PARTIES - My friend Bre and I have been keeping track of how long Miss Depolo, our Spanish teacher, AKA the Depolinator, has been wearing turtlenecks to school. Current count - FORTY FRICKING NINE WHEN IT ENDED!

xXxXxXx

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If you read and review on my stories, I'll give you a cookie!! (:'.-) see the cookie with chocolate chips in it?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Empire Strikes Back by Amme Moto reviews
Connan thought it would be simple: amass a great group of people, get Vader out of her way, and kill the Emperor. She didn't think about the consequences that come with having morals.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 56,416 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Revan, Carth O.
Why Canon and Fanon Don't Mix by alsdssg reviews
What happens when Eragon and his friends come across a Mary Sue fan fic? Why, pure chaos, that's what. Please R & R.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 88,739 - Reviews: 1143 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 1/16/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Nightmares reviews
Scorpius Malfoy has a nightmare about what it would be like to marry into the Weasley brood. Totally random humorfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,982 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
No Simple Thing reviews
It's no simple thing when history repeats love's greatest tragedy in the form of two teenagers of Forks... watch as the star-crossed lovers follow Romeo and Juliet's path... AU Twilight Fic, based on William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. WARNING-pre BD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,212 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 2/21/2008
Songs of the Red Rider reviews
A half dozen snapshots of Murtagh's life, set to songs... From childhood to manhood, from imprisonment to love... Includes songs from The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Linkin Park, Boys Like Girls, Matchbox 20, and Hinder. Do not own any of this.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,636 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/3/2009 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Complete
Attack Of The Cliches! reviews
Sick of overly cliched Twilight fics? Well, here's your chance to laugh at exactly how stupid they are! A new cliche whenever I can! Now featuring cliches written by our readers! I do love being cruel... T for some swearing. And remember to hate on Jake!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 24,727 - Reviews: 1068 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Complete
Bloody Hell! reviews
Hugo warned them not to mess with Hermione's stuff. Now the next generation of Potters and Weasleys are stuck in the past. Will Ginny and Harry still get together? Will Ron kill Harry? Will the kids ever get back to their own time? ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,652 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Lily Evans P., Jimmy P.
The Blue Of The Sky reviews
He's blind, and yet all we know was that it was a failed night vision operation. What happened to him? How can you live without seeing the blue of the sky? xIggycentricx Painful little oneshot, may add more painmemories if I feel like it.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,888 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Complete
In The Dark reviews
Beka's run into some trouble, and needs a savior. Who else will but the daring, devilish Rosto? BekaRosto fic, T for some implications and thoughts. R&R!
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,219 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Tortall - Complete
Someday reviews
When a terrible accident destroys Max and Fang's life together, will Fang be able to fix it? Or will it spiral into ruin? Based on Nickelback's Someday. Mucho Faxness, losta sadness. PERMANENT HIATUS
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,583 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/24/2007
Saving Iggy reviews
When Iggy suffers an accident that leaves him unable to fly, what will he do to end his pain? And who could save him from himself? Based on Nickleback's Savin' Me. Nudgyness all the way!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Complete
Opposite Day reviews
When Max and Nudge are the victims of a body swap experiment, what craziness will ensue? How will they get back to normal? And what happens when Fang sees Nudge kissing Iggy in Max's body? Faxness and Nudgyness, in a totally insane way! Tsome romance.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,393 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/14/2007 - Published: 6/5/2007 - Complete
The Flock II reviews
Not the evil flock! The children of the original Flock are here! Kaeli, Talon, Jay, Arya, Ben and Saira are lving the average life other than the wings. But what happens when Jeb returns and wants THEM to save the world? PERMANENT HIATUS
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/5/2007 - Complete
Far Away reviews
Fang left Max, and made a huge mistake. Now he has a chance to make it all right. SongFic based on Nickelback's Far Away. First story, please review! T because of some language.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,659 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Complete