Author has written 6 stories for Gilmore Girls, Hannah Montana, High School Musical, and Hairspray.
Okay, my name is Lauryn. I live in Ohio (just moved) and I was born on June 21st, I'm 13 and in 8th grade. I love snowboarding, reading fanfiction, writing fanfiction, dancing, swimming, and soccer. And I just got my hair dyed really dark brown but I think it's really pretty, it's still really curly. I have hazel eyes (brownish green). My favorite movies are HSM 1 and 2, POTC, Harry Potter, Hairspray, and Cheaper by the Dozen. My fav shows are 7th heaven, Gilmore Girls, Hannah Montana, that 70s show, American Idol, How I met Your Mother, Secret Life of the American Teenager, and Scrubs. Right now I'm obsessed with the Scorpius/Rose and Fleur/Bill pairing, both from Harry Potter. Please read my stories! I am back people! I have been on a long long long break. And I apologize. But I am back!
WARNING- in September I will have fewer updates, I'm taking 10 dance classes so I'm going to be super busy. Please bear with me because I will write whenever I can. 10 Freakin' hours of dance! Also I'm super stressed cause one of my cousins is gonna have a baby in February and my other cousin is joining the army. Really really stressful.
Color- Pink and green
Sport (to watch)- tie between Hockey and football. Go Steelers and Penguins. Sid the Kid is enough to watch the Penguins http://media.canada.com/ec39df83-fe4a-4b86-8cf9-8fbd0bc59e03/crosby.jpg
Sport (To play)- tie between, gymnastics, dance, and swimming. Although I love to snowboard. I do spend more time on my butt then my feet when I snowboard, but whatever
Athlete- Gotta be Jeter, have you seen the eyes? http://www.nypost.com/seven/11062006/photos/pg6012d.jpgBut not going on prettiness, sorry Tom Brady, gotta be Evgeni Malkin. Guys a beast
Actress- Reese Witherspoon
Actor- Leo DiCaprio (Sp?)
Singer- Carrie Underwood
Fashion Accessory- jewelry. I just love funky necklaces or earrings. So much fun
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profileIf you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile.
(') This, over here, is my amazing candle. I am lighting it to commemorate the deaths of those 32 lives that were lost at Virginia Tech and the lives that were lost in the NIU shootings.
If you are a theatre geek, copy this into your profile
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random (Or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this on to your profile.
If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile
If you say 'yeah...' alot copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy this into your profile!
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile
If you have your own little world, copy this to your profile.
A friend will start laughing with you to make you look like less of an idiot while the teacher tries to get a spot for you at the happy place. A true friend will start dancing with you on your way to your next class, even though you have different songs in your empty little heads. If you have a true friend, or many, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you shiver at the thought of cigarettes, cigars, alcohol, pot, drugs, or anything like that, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've written a fic that's over 10,000 words, copy this into your profile.
If you don't use MySpace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile.
Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.
If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste this to your profile.
98 percent of teenagers have sex, take drugs, and drink alcohol . . . if you like bagels, copy and paste this to your profile.
If songs get stuck in your head so constantly that you know the words them copy and paste this to your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Ba Ba Black Sheep, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
A friend calls you while you're in jail, a good friend visits you while you're in jail and a best friend will be sitting next to you yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" If you have a best friend copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you are one of the clutziest people on Earth, copy this and paste it to your profile.
If you think they should make a Pirates of the Caribbean 4 copy and paste this into your profile
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Mrs. Radcliffe-Efron, XBeautifulbabe405X Hollywood x Blondie, stessa,-MaDtV-, soHEADSTRONG.x3, JennySaysHa, Tinkerbell'sstuntdouble,
If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile.
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Funny quotes from Harry Potter
Hermione: And what may I ask do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?
Ron: Copy off you?
Hermione: No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!
Arthur Weasley: Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
Professor Minerva McGonagall: Don't be absurd, Weasley. How on earth could Sirius Black enter Gryffindor Tower without anyone noticing him?
Ron: I don't know! I was a little preoccupied dodging his knife!
Neville: Oh my god! I've killed Harry Potter!
Seamus: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly, it just sorta happens. You gotta admit though, fire is fascinating.
after the dragon has run into the teachers stand
Fredyelling Well done dragon!
Professor McGonagall: Now, Mr. Weasley, place your right hand on my waist.
Hermione Granger: Don't you know how Cho is feeling right now? Well, obviously, she's feeling sad, because of Cedric dying. Then she's feeling guilty for liking Harry, and worrying about what everyone else will say. And she probably can't work out her feelings towards Harry anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when he died.
Ron Weasley: One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode.
Hermione Granger: Ron, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon!
Funny quotes Pirates of The Caribbean
Will Turner: Will you marry me?
Elizabeth Swann: I don't think now's the best time!
Will Turner: Now may be the only time! I love you. I've made my choice. What's yours?
Elizabeth Swann: Barbossa! Barbossa, marry us!
Barbossa: I'm a little busy at the moment!
Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
Will Turner: pointing the gun at Barbossa I'll shoot.
Barbossa: I wouldn't bother with that boy, you see we can't die.
Jack Sparrow: whispered Don't do anything stupid!
Will Turner: ...you might not be able to die
jumps onto the side of the ship
Will Turner: ... but I can.
Jack Sparrow: whispered ... like that.
Barbossa: And what's it to us?
Will Turner: I'm the son of Bootstrap Bill Turner.
Barbossa: Oh... perhaps we can negotiate? What do you want?
Will Turner: Elizabeth goes free!
Barbossa: Yes, we know that one. Anything else?
Jack Sparrow: pointing at self Me!
Will Turner: Jack goes free as well...
Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then.
Jack Sparrow: Wakes up and sees Elizabeth burning the rum No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One: because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Jack Sparrow: With his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: Startled Deeply flattered, boy, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Turning aroundElizabeth!
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.
Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the bible, you get credit for tryin'.
Tia Dalma: releases the monkey from the cage
Gibbs: muttered No...
Gibbs: You've no idea how long it took us to catch that.
Jack Sparrow: empties bottle of rum Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: stands up and staggers drunkenly Oh... that's why.
Will Turner: What about Jack? I can't leave without him!
sees Jack getting chased by cannibals
Will Turner: Time to go.
Funny Quotes from That 70s Show
Michael Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she's going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I'm talking about right?
Steven Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I'm not even from here, and I got it.
Steven Hyde: Guys, can we do something besides cruise? That's the third time tonight we've driven by that house.
Michael Kelso: I know what we could do. We could go skinny dipping.
everyone looks at him
Michael Kelso: Naked! That's the way God intended.
Jackie Burkhardt: No way.
Michael Kelso: Why not? It'd be fun.
Donna Pinciotti: Sure, it's fun for you guys, 'cause you can look at us, and that's a treat. But we just look at you. And that's nasty.
Eric: So, you don't want to do it?
Donna Pinciotti: Well... I don't care. I'll do it.
Eric: You... Okay, I'm in.
Fez: Naked is dirty.
Fez: Dirty, dirty, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty.
All: Dirty, dirty, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty.
Jackie Burkhardt: the screen flips. Everyone is in the car, naked This was such a great idea, Michael. This was so much fun. Oh, wait, except for the part when our clothes got stolen, you idiot!
Steven Hyde: By the way, Fez, nice tattoo, man.
Fez: Thank you. It is the Blessed Virgin of Yorba Linda. Do you want to see her dance?
Eric: Guys, we need a plan. I'm not driving up to the house with a car full of naked people. Red hates you guys when you're dressed.
Steven Hyde: We can go to my house.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, your mom's used of having naked guys around.
Steven Hyde: She's not even home, you moron!
Hyde punches Kelso on the shoulder
Fez: Put on the top forty.
(Fez reaches over for the radio)
Steven Hyde: Whoa, sit down, Fez! I see London, I see Besticle!
Fez: Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Steven Hyde: I don't know. Tuck it in!
Jackie Burkhardt: on the phone So Barbra Streisand became this huge star, right? But Kris Kristofferson could not take it anymore, so he drinks and drinks and crashes his car. Isn't that romantic?
Fez: besides Kelso on the phone, Fez is on the phone, and he's telling Kelso what to say Say, "Yes, it is."
Michael Kelso: Fez puts the phone by his ear Yes it is.
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, I just love romantic movies, don't you?
Fez: to Kelso "Yes, I do."
Michael Kelso: phone by his ear Yes, I do.
Jackie Burkhardt: You know what would be a good romantic scene in a movie? That night we had a reservoir when we went skinny-dipping. Remember?
Fez: to Kelso "No, describe it to me."
Michael Kelso: phone by ear No, describe it to me.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, you're so bad. Okay, the water was really cold, so when I dove in, well you know.
Fez: No, I don't know.
Jackie Burkhardt: MICHAEL!
Donna Pinciotti: when Eric wears a Chicago Bears jersey at a Green Bay Packer game The Packers are like the Jedi. You're wearing a 'Go Darth Vader' jersey.
Pastor Dave: Ok, Laurie, let's see what you have.
(Laurie slowly puts three cards down one at a time while smiling and glaring at Dave)
Pastor Dave: Six... six... six... Oh, well thank you for the wonderful evening! I'll see you at church!
Eric: they're driving Kelso's cousin's car Why does Sully have a statue of the Virgin Mary on his dashboard?
Michael Kelso: Maybe he's, like, religious.
Steven Hyde: Didn't Sully get imprisoned for arson?
Michael Kelso: Yeah. People who burn stuff believe in God too, Hyde.
Steven Hyde: Why does his key-chain say "I Love Bingo"?
Fez: Sully must love bingo.
Eric: All right. I'm starting to think this isn't Sully's car.
Michael Kelso: Then who's car is it?
police siren wails
Michael Kelso: Guess who made out with Pam Macey behind the gym!
Steven Hyde: Anyone with a quarter?
Michael Kelso: Me!
Fez: Damn, and I had a quarter!
(after Kelso tries in vain to convince the others he had sex with Brooke, she comes to the basement)
Brooke: Kelso, we have to talk about doing it at the Molly Hatchet concert.
Michael Kelso: Just a second, Brooke.
Michael Kelso: Burn!
(to Eric and Donna)
Michael Kelso: Burn!
Michael Kelso: Burn!
Michael Kelso: Burn!
(Kelso runs upstairs to the kitchen)
Michael Kelso: (to Kitty) Burn!
Michael Kelso: Burn!
(Kelso runs back downstairs)
Michael Kelso: So, Brooke. What did want to talk about?
Brooke: I just found out I'm pregnant.
Michael Kelso: defensively I never touched her!
(a guardian angel shows Eric how his 10-year reunion would be had he never kissed Donna)
The Angel: And there's Kelso.
Eric: What happened to him?
The Angel: He thought he could do the weather drunk, so the network fired him.
Eric: So, what's he doing now?
The Angel: He works for you selling waterbeds.
Eric: Man, what a loser! Hey, wait. I sell waterbeds.
Donna Pinciotti: on the California beach I miss Eric. That guy even looks like Eric.
Donna Pinciotti: Eric? Oh my God, Eric!
Eric: Looking around Kelso's van, he turns sharp at Donna's voice Donna!
(They run to each other in slow motion, Kelso tries to run along side Donna, but Donna pushes him down; they stop short of each other, just staring deeply into each other's eyes for a long moment and then... Kelso tackles Donna, wrestling her to the ground. Incredulous)
Eric: Kelso, what the Hell are you doing?
Michael Kelso: Winning!
Donna gets free, stands up and kicks Kelso in the side, then returns to looking at Eric
Donna Pinciotti: Eric... I can't believe you came for me.
Eric: Of course I did. Donna... Donna I love you. And I... I...
(he can't find the words)
Donna Pinciotti: Steps forward and kisses him passionately
Michael Kelso: You guys can smooch all you want, I totally won!
Kitty Forman: after throwing away Kelso's electronic football game What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
Kelso: Yes! And until now, everyone else had the good grace not to mention it!
shoves his head in his pillow, reminiscent of a five-year-old
Michael Kelso: I'm sorry. Look, I've been screwed by Darwinism... never needed to evolve listening skills 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Donna Pinciotti: Um, that's not how evolution works.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Steven Hyde: Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.
Michael Kelso: Look, she's beautiful, she believes in me, and if I can get her to put out, it's 3 out of 3. Right now, it's 2 out of 3, and I'm sorry but 50 ain't gonna cut it.
(Everyone is going to a new club)
Michael Kelso: All right. I'm going.
Jackie Burkhardt: No, Michael, my parents are going out tonight. You're coming over to my house to... study.
Michael Kelso: No. What a gyp. I'm going to the club.
Jackie Burkhardt: No, Michael. You have to come over to my house to "STUDY".
Michael Kelso: Fine. I'm gonna study.
Steven Hyde: Man, you're stupid.
Michael Kelso: I know, that's why I have to go study.
Kelso: Whatever. You know, none of this is as bad as Hyde not telling me. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make him tell me.
Donna: How are you gonna do that?
Michael Kelso: By outwitting him conversationally. What a fine game of cat and mouse it will be.
Eric: So what are you gonna say?
Michael Kelso: Oh, it'll come to me in the moment.
Donna: Don't you think you should plan it out a little?
Michael Kelso: Does an astronaut plan out his missions?
Fez: What happens in cat and mouse if the cat is retarded?
Michael Kelso: Oh, you just wait and see.
Red Forman: This is a smoke detector.
Michael Kelso: Does that detect any type of smoke?
Red Forman: Kelso, you make Eric look like Einstein.
Eric: (sarcastically) Gee, thank you daddy.
Michael Kelso: "Thank you"? Einstein was ugly.
Red Forman: What are you doing here?
Michael Kelso: The explanation is in the note.
Red Forman: reading the note Dear Red, we would like for you to give Michael thirty dollars for the game you threw out the window and broke. Signed, my parents.
Kitty laughs hysterically, and leaves the room
Red Forman: Well, you made her laugh, that's worth at least thirty bucks.
Gives Kelso the money
Michael Kelso: What does he have that I don't? I mean, I have the three things women want: I'm hot and I'm smart.
Donna Pinciotti: That's two things you moron.
Michael Kelso: Nuh-uh, hot counts twice.
Steven Hyde: drawing a correlation with Kelso thinking he saw a UFO Kelso, do you remember that time you thought you saw the abominable snowman?
Steven Hyde: And what did it turn out to be?
Kelso: not getting Hyde's point Just a regular snowman...
Steven Hyde: about Kelso's shirt being in Laurie's room Say, how'd THAT get there?
Michael Kelso: trying to cover his affair with Laurie That's funny. No - This isn't even mine! Yeah, this must be ERIC'S shirt.
Jackie Burkhardt: Your mom sewed your name in it, Michael.
Michael Kelso: Man, Eric's going to be pissed, huh? Yeah, 'cause I borrowed Eric's shirt 'cause mine wasn't working right. And then my mom must've sewed my name in it.
Jackie Burkhardt: Hum, I don't know, Michael...
Michael Kelso: Jackie, if I were lying I'd come up with a lot better lie than that.
Steven Hyde: Yeah, you'd think so.
Michael Kelso: Michael arrives at the door to pick up Laurie for a date Hello, Mrs. Forman. I'm here to pick up your daughter for our date.
Steven Hyde: Man, you're dating Laurie?... That's not "going where no man has gone before"; that's going where every man has gone before.
Kitty Forman: Steven, it's not nice to be so... truthful.
(Kelso is clumsy with a gun)
Donna Pinciotti: Kelso, careful with that.
Michael Kelso: Don't worry, guns don't just go off by accident.
Donna Pinciotti: What about Eric's hamster in fourth grade?
Eric: Oh, no, my hamster went upstate to live with a new family upstate. Right?
(Nobody says anything)
Eric: Oh, my god. You killed my hamster.
Michael Kelso: It wasn't my fault. The gun went off by accident.
Steven Hyde: Look, Forman, if you give Donna that ring, she'll see the girl inside of you. And, you don't want to wake Erica up.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, Erica. That's classic. I'm lucky. You can't make a girl name out of Michael.
Steven Hyde: Oh, really, Michelle?
Michael Kelso: Damn it. I forgot about Michelle. But, you know what, Forman? You should get Donna that promise ring. I'm gonna give one to Jackie too.
Eric: Thank you, Kelso. Let's go get them, right now.
Eric and Kelso start leaving
Eric: See you later... Damn it. What's a girl name for Hyde?
Eric and Kelso start thinking
Steven Hyde: It's Heidi, you morons.
Michael Kelso: I ate a piece of gum off a parking meter once. It was on a dare. I made a dollar. Man, there are some suckers out there.
Michael Kelso: Reading off a small box A UNICEF contribution of thirteen cents will feed a child for a month. Man, living in Africa must be great. Everything's so cheap.
Red Forman: looking in bag of pot Is this what I think it is?
Michael Kelso: If you mean paprika, then yes, sir!
Kitty Forman: Honey, paprika is red.
Michael Kelso: If you mean green paprika, then yes, sir!
Kitty Forman: I have bad news. Midge left Bob.
Eric: Are you sure? I mean, she could just be lost in the backyard.
Michael Kelso: A GOOD girlfriend accepts her guy no matter what. Now, Jackie was always trying to change me.
Michael Kelso: Grow up, Michael! Act your age, Michael! Stop shooting grandma with the water pistol, Michael!
Jackie Burkhardt: She's 92, Michael.
Michael Kelso: She had JAM on her FACE!
Steven Hyde: Yeah, I'm going to go... bird watching with my girlfriend.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, me and Jackie are going to go "BIRDWATCHING", too.
(laughs and points at Red and Kitty)
Michael Kelso: It's cool 'cause they don't know what we're talking about.
(Red and Kitty stare at him)
Steven Hyde: I think they cracked it.
Michael Kelso: Well, if being smart isn't gonna help me impress the chicks, then I want no part of it.
Red Forman: You know, Steven, you're a smart guy. You really should go to college. You're coming with us, this weekend.
Steven Hyde: You don't trust me alone in the house, do you?
Red Forman: See how smart you are?
Michael Kelso: (reading) Here's something that I did not know... they number every page.
Fez: making a crank call Hello, House of Chicken? How big are your wings?
Steven Hyde: Breasts.
Fez: Oh. How big are your breasts?
Fez: This is Fez. Who is this?
(Eric and Red are hunting)
Red Forman: I want you to forget that I'm your father for a minute. I want you to tell me exactly what you think of me.
Eric: How about I do this when you don't have a gun?
(Fez has told everyone he lost his virginity)
Eric: Wait, this isn't like the time that you bought a hamster, named it virginity, and then lost it?
Eric: I got a feeling I'm forgetting something...
Steven Hyde: Looks like you got everything but a tall redhead.
Eric: Yeah, what guy doesn't love a tall redhead oh my god I forgot Donna.
(Jackie sneaks into the Forman's house)
Steven Hyde: I told you to look where you were going.
Jackie Burkhardt: What idiot leaves a Lego set right in front of the door?
Eric: You knocked over my space command center?
Michael Kelso: You can't sleep in the same bed with someone and not be doin' it. I've fallen asleep not doin' it and woken up doin' it.
Eric: ...and that's why they won't put him to sleep at the dentist.
Steven Hyde: Would you shut up about that lame ass story?
Michael Kelso: Well, it's the truth and I'll prove it. Let's go ask Fez.
Steven Hyde: Fine.
Michael Kelso: You drive, my van's in the shop.
Steven Hyde: Fine. I need gas though.
Michael Kelso: Fine. Can I borrow money for fries?
Steven Hyde: No.
Michael Kelso: Fine. Shotgun.
Steven Hyde: There's only two of us you moron.
Michael Kelso: Fine.
Laurie Forman: You should watch your back.
Jackie Burkhardt: You should stop spending so much time on yours.
(Kelso has just shot Hyde with his B.B. gun)
Steven Hyde: I'm gonna punish him the way my parents punish me.
Eric: You're gonna leave him at the mall?
Steven Hyde: No. I'm gonna milk this eye thing until he feels as bad as he should. And they didn't leave me at the mall. They forgot me. They were drunk.
Eric: Keep it down, you guys. If my dad finds out we're going to Canada, for beer, he won't be happy.
Kelso runs up, shouting
Michael Kelso: All right. Canada. Wooooooo. Beer.
blows an air horn
(the guys do homework)
Donna Pinciotti: If x equals seven, than y equals?
Jackie Burkhardt: Two?
Donna Pinciotti: No. Kelso?
Michael Kelso: Uh, L?
Donna Pinciotti: We're gonna graduate in two months, and there's a whole town out there waiting for us. We just have to, you know, grab the bull by the horns.
Michael Kelso: Hey, I'm gonna tell you from experience, if you're gonna mess with a bull, you better have a backup plan.
Steven Hyde: Forman's first suspension... I'm so proud.
Michael Kelso: Whoa, back up. Why'd he get suspended?
Donna Pinciotti: Because he's stupid.
Michael Kelso: terrified They can do that?
Eric: What kind of moron leaves the keys in the ignition?
Michael Kelso: When I put the keys in my pocket, it distracts from my natural bulge.
(after finding out a girl he slept with is pregnant)
Kelso: You ladies don't know what I'm going through. I mean, you can have all the sex you want and don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant.
(after Red insults Fez, Eric, and Kelso)
Kelso: Hey, hold on a second. Am I the pretty boy moron?
Kelso: Cool, because that's the best one.
Kelso: Okay, which job sounds better: wide receiver or spy?
Eric: Well, Kelso, I don't understand why you just can't do both.
Kelso: You're right, it's the perfect cover.
Fez: (singing) Some people call me the space cowboy...
Eric: No, nobody calls you like that. But if there were someone, then I'll be the space cowboy.
Steven Hyde: Please, Forman, if there's any space cowboy in this group it's me, and I'm also the midnight toker!
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, all the best quotes are about the things that means a lot to you, like for example me. My hair. Or my personality. Or the sparkle I bring to your dull, grey, lives.
Steven Hyde: Or, the feeling of relief we get, when you leave the room.
Eric and Donna fed the rest of the gang laxative-laced brownies as revenge for a prank
Michael Kelso: That was a wicked burn. I mean, it had all the elements. You didn't see it coming... parts of it really hurt...
Kitty Forman: right after Eric accused Mitch of stealing his Darth Vader action figure Eric, were you playing in the bathtub with your doll?
Eric: ACTION FIGURE... uh-oh.
Steven Hyde: They should've X-rayed your head at the hospital.
Michael Kelso: They did. And for your information, they found nothing.
Michael Kelso: on Bob and Pam dating Dating is based on a point system. Pam's good looking, so that's 25 points. Bob's the nicest guy in the world, so that's like, a point? But he has money, so there's 24 points. Now you add those up, and you get 50, which is, coincidentally half my score.
Steven Hyde: Everything I wanted to say was in that one punch. Come on.
Hyde helps Kelso get up
Michael Kelso: That was a good one too. I peed myself a little on the way down.
Michael Kelso: Tell you what... that's the last time I'm gonna mess around with a girl with a boyfriend.
Donna Pinciotti: Kelso, your hand is on my butt.
Michael Kelso: Come on, he's in Africa.
Michael Kelso: I spilt my soda... Hyde. I don't know what to say.
Steven Hyde: How about 'ow'?
Michael Kelso: Why would I say ow?
Hyde hits Kelso
Michael Kelso: Ow.
falls to the floor and laughs
Michael Kelso: I get it!
Donna Pinciotti: (after Charlie fell off the water tower) That was a pretty awkward landing, I hope he's OK.
Michael Kelso: Of course he's OK, it's not like anyone's ever died falling off the water tower.
Kitty Forman: (next scene) And so they renamed it The Charlie Richardson Memorial Water Tower.
Rory's Wedding Dress from The Realiztion but with out the sash-y thing