Author has written 10 stories for Naruto.
I'm a freshman in college, graduated a year early form hell, er, high school. My favorite color is sky blue. I'm obviously female, and I'm a pageant queen and I love to bake. I had a long bout of depression that kept me from doing what I loved for a while, like writing, drawing, and painting, but I'll be back soon. :) This here sunshine is still alive!
I'm a member of Greek life, AKA a sorority girl, but trust me. I'm not not your 'sterotypical' sorority girl. Read and you'll see for yourself.
Naruto is my favorite, but I also enjoy Rosario Vampire and Chibi Vampire
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
1) Who is your favorite character(s)? That's hard...hm...Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, Deidara are my top four.
2) Who is your favorite pairing(s)? Well it is SasuNaru and if not them then SasuMika and yaoi. Lots and lots of yaoi
3) Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? More a yaoi fan
4) Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? Temari! :D Shippudden. Just need that damn fan! >_
5) List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise. The sand and konoha village headband and, 2 Naruto shirts, 1 Naruto game for the wii and some Naruto manga.
6) Have you ever felt you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Well...I guess Sasuke because, I don't know...we sorta like connect, but that might just be the inner fangirl in me connecting!
7) NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina
8) SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SASUNARU!!! Keep pinkie outta this!
9) Which team is your favorite? Team 7
10) Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Hell yeahsssssss! I know!
11) Do you support the 'Yodaime is Naruto's father theory? I KNOW he is his father.
12) Your favorite Akatsuki member? Deidara or Itachi.
13) Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Pro, I love Sasuke! He's like my fav character!
14) Have you seen all of the Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuuden and fillers)? Pretty much, though I didn't watch all the fillers!
15) Have you read all the chapters so far? Pretty much.
16) Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Not really. if he does, he must've got some medz in Shippuuden!
17) Sub or dub? Sub.
18) Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Anti-Sakura
19) Tobi= Annoying or funny? Super funny.
20) Do you even know who Tobi is? Duh! Who wouldn't!
21) Gai= Sexy beast or ugly nerd? Sexy beast...nerdz aren't ugly!
22) Which character would be the best cross dresser? Haku or Naruto. NO! Ever since I read Akatsuki Cosplay Cafe, Itachi!
23) Rock Lee= Weird or awesome? Awesome!
24) Which character would be the best OOC? Who and how? Well...what about ADHD Sasuke! LOL!
25) Do you like Naruto fan fictions? DUH!!
26) Do you write Naruto fan fictions? Yes! Go read them!
27) Do you like lemons? Yummy.
28) Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No.
29) Have you ever watched the Naruto Abridged series? Yes. I wish they'd update more often tho!
30) Have you seen the Naruto Ultimate fan flashes? I LOVE THEM ALL!!
31) Have you ever got someone else hooked on Naruto? Well...yeah...
32) Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and someone recognized it? Yep!
33) Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and your teacher came up to you and say 'WTF is this? yes!
34) Has Naruto affected your life and grades? My life? YES! Not my grades so much...
35) Are you broke thanks to Naruto? College. Thats broke
36) Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? Yes...especially if its yaoi...
37) Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? Pein/Pain is the leader, not Naruto's dad! DUH!
38) Do you draw Naruto fan art? Yep!
39) Is Sasuke still sexy in the second stage of the curse seal? Ew.
40) Do you have a Naruto OC? I have tons of them! I actually made a whole clan as wells as several others. It's a hobby. I have my own Naruto universe that I live in.
41) Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? Pretty much...
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
NoOnesGal1848, Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, AkatsukiDreamer,Cloud Envy, Krazy Kitsune13, Teng, Crazy PurpleSage, Stary202, MikaUchiha
Number your twelve favorite Naruto characters (in no particular order) and answer the following questions:
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fan-fic before? TemaTen...of course...
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
You wear eyeliner.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, pinkcherryblossoms225, CrimsonChidori, MikaUchiha,
Favorite Fanfiction Quotes!
“Hey Sasuke, are we giddy gay children?” I asked, my mind wandering. “I dunno. By giddy gay children, do you mean happy happy children, or happy homosexual children, or high happy children, or high homosexual children?” he asked, giving me an odd look. “The last one.” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back into the cushions. “Well, then, you’re high most of the time, and I’m homosexual, so yes, I guess together we are giddy gay children.” Oh, how little did Sasuke know? Well, it’d be Know, really. Apparently he Knew less than the world did, since the world Knew that I, too, was gay. No! Not gay! Sasuke-sexual. Yes, that was it.- a story in fanfiction. (Only Girls Wear Camis) At least I think. READ IT!
If Sasuke were an anime character, he'd be one of those whiny, slutty, big-breasted chicks in the hentai videos. - a story in fanfiction.
“Hey Gaara, if someone BS’s you, will you take off your eyeliner?” Naruto asked sarcastically.
“Who says I’m avoiding? I just need some… what’s that smell? It smells icky. I see white stuff, Iruka-sensei! Hey, why is Kakashi-sensei licking the white stuff?”
“At work I thought of you. At lunch I thought of you. When I went to the bathroom, and squeezed out a massive turd, I thought of you. I couldn’t take it anymore, so, that evening, I made it over to your apartment. I remembered where you lived because I wrote your address down on a piece of paper, and drew a heart near it.” Naruto heard mumbling into a pillow, and swore that Sasuke called him ‘creepy.’ - Remember When by LovelyNocturnalSunGoddess
“You kept going…” Naruto interrupted his sighing boyfriend, “…and going…and going…and going…and going…and I moaned…and whimpered…and groaned…and sniffled…and begged. I even cried out ‘you’re wonderful, I love you!’ and you panted ‘what’, and I cried out once more ‘you’re wonderful, I love you!’ Then you huffed ‘um…ok…I love your ass, I guess’ and you bit your lip as you quickened your pace.” - Also from Remember When (You seriously got to read that story! GO SASUNARU!)
Sasuke closed he bathroom door and let out the breath he was holding. He stripped down and turn the shower on cold. He stepped in and goosebumps diffused throughout his body.
Ramen: 1,000 plus
Babysitting a innocent cross dresser six-year-old minded Naruto: A hard on. -Amnesia
That's ludicrous! Sasuke exclaimed.
What does a rapper have to do with this, Sasuke? Naruto asked.
I meant ludicrous as in absurd, not as in the rapper, idiot. Sasuke stated as he punched Naruto over the head. -Let Me Out by Kichou
Big brother! Big brother, help me! I'm claustrophobic! Sasuke screamed out to Itachi.
Big brother's coming sweetie! Itachi yelled.
Itachi, get back here! The girls yelled towards the raven haired male.
Said male's shoulders slumped as he walks back towards the living room towards the lovely, but clearly evil women. -Let Me Out
“I know, I know! I'm coming right now, okay?” Iruka said, huffing. Kakashi laughed. After they exchanged good-byes, Iruka dressed the squirming kitten warmly. Naruto kept trying to run away when Iruka pulled his hat on over his fluffy ears, but he purred and rubbed against his chest when Iruka picked him up. He started to rub his ass against Iruka's hand where he held him to support him.
“Oh, save that for Sasuke,” Iruka snapped. Naruto giggled at the mention of his mate and Iruka rolled his eyes. -For Your Eyes Only
Temari sighed and smiled. Though her husband was younger than her, and usually she treated him like a kid, sometimes he was surprisingly mature and manly...
Which really, really turned her on.
With a growl she pounced on her mate and he let out a surprised shout before he succumbed to her warm embrace. -For Your Eyes Only
“Nothing this time, Auntie Miki.” Shisui beamed at her “We’re plannin’ to be good boys this year!”
“Just like Tobi!” Mikoto nodded in approval, and took a laundry basket “I’ll just go drop these where they belong. Serve yourself some more bacon if you like, and please behave. Fugaku seemed a little stressed last night when we went to bed, even after we made love like when we were young and hippies!” Mikoto shook her head, as Obito’s Sharpie loudly scratched out of the page, Shisui definitely dropped the camera, and as Naruto tried not to look that freaked out.
Once she left, Obito ripped off the page he had been working off the sketchbook, crumpling it into a ball. He eyed Shisui carefully “Just like Tobi? Or just like Madara was what you were really trying to say, Little Squirrel?” - Meet the Uchihas
“Naruto!’ Sasuke cried, reaching out for his wife, but he found he couldn’t move; he could only stand and watch as his most important person was being repeatedly taken by his greatest enemy; one who had always been present since the couple had been children, and even before that, who had always posed a threat to them ever since they had met.
“Dammit!” Sasuke hissed, as he lay witness to the violation of his spouse, clenching his fist until his nails had scratched his palms into a bloody mess.
Naruto gave a final scream of pain, falling back against the many pillows behind him. Above the boy, the attacker was finally revealed. There, chuckling with sick pleasure, sat a smirking…… bowl of ramen. - Ramen Genocide (LOLZ!)
Thousands of miles away on a beach in Honolulu, Sasuke sneezed just as a waiter was handing him his fruity drink with a little umbrella in it.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting sick on me bastard,” Naruto snorted from the lounge chair next to him.
Sasuke shook his head, “No I’m not sick. I feel a disturbance in the force.”
“Whatever you say Obi Wan,” Naruto replied, slurping down his fourth drink. “I think I’m drunk enough to ask you if you wanna go find a boardwalk to have sex under.”
Sasuke grinned lecherously, “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” - Surprise by Ashi-Eiketsu
So far they’d found one stray kitten, which Dingbat had called Not Allowed and Naruto had named Puffy, one rather large drag queen applying his sparkly body lotion, and about eight hundred normal-looking patients giving them inquisitive looks as their privacy was disturbed.
Naruto shuttered against the cold that had permeated his clothing. He was pretty close to just passing out and hoping that his mouth didn’t fill up with water while he was unconscious.
Then miraculously, the heavens smiled upon the tortured boy, and sent an angel to open the door- and hit him in the head with it, really hard.
The angel looked down at Naruto disdainfully.
“That’s what you get for just leaving me like that, you moron.”
- Leave Out All The Rest by naturalli
He comforted himself by staring at Tsunade’s breasts for a while. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.
“I hate you so much.” He said.
Tsunade just cackled.
- Leave Out All The Rest by naturalli
”Go back to the bikes.” Naruto demanded.
”No.” Sasuke protested.
Naruto sucked in a great deep breath, “SASUKE UCHIHA LIKES THE DICK!”
The blond couldn’t help but end up on the ground laughing, tears leaking, at the look on Sasuke’s face.
Priceless will never cover it.
Rented To Be by myfailsafe
They both come to a complete standstill when they step out to find a little girl in pig-tails looking up at them with large, brown eyes.
Sasuke’s cheeks flush a bit and he points a little further down the hall. “Girl’s room is that way, kid.”
The girl blinks owlishly. “I heard moaning.” She looks at Naruto, who goes completely red and scratches the back of his head with a nervous grin.
“Uh…aha,” Naruto points at her, “It’s a lot more fun than it sounds! Oof!” He grabs his stomach after Sasuke’s effective elbow jab.
“Idiot,” Sasuke breathes, and reaches for his back pocket. He comes up with a five dollar bill and hands it to the girl. “There, five bucks if you forget what you saw here.”
The girl takes his money and stares at it for a moment before frowning up at him. “I want ten.”
Both men flinch before Sasuke curses under his breath and grudgingly pulls out another five. He tosses it to her, seething as she giggles and continues to the women’s restroom.
Naruto watches her go. “Damn, I see politics in her futu –“ his sentence cuts off with a yelp as Sasuke once again smacks the back of his head.
“A lot more fun than it sounds?” Sasuke hisses. “Really, you moron?”
“It’s true!” Naruto complains while flailing his arms around as they hurry out of the restaurant.
“That’s the last time I let you talk me into some stupid shit like this,” Sasuke mutters.
- On Top by darkalbino
“I marked you as mine.” Sasuke growled, pulling Naruto’s legs around his waist. “If anyone thinks to take you from me, I’ll kill them.”
“I just spent six months as your cat. I know everything about you.” Tired of the banter, Sasuke claimed Naruto’s lips as his hips ground against his mate. Tongues dueled in a mock battle as hips pressed and rubbed.
Sasuke was so close. His kind were rarely sexually active until they claimed a mate. Once that happened, it was pretty much a fuck fest. He supposed it was to make up for lost time. “Mine.”
- It Happened One Halloween by Daydreamer79
A ring was set up and a bunch of em would gather and the announcer would begin-
“On this side, weighing just the right amount cause Uchihas are perfect, Uchiha “The Uchiha” Guy!”
“…And on this side, weighing an equally perfect amount, Uchiha “The Uchiha” Fella!”
They’d start off easy.
“ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!
And we’re off ladies and gentlemen!
“The Uchiha” strikes first with an arrogant sneer!
Uchiha retaliates with a superior sneer of his own!
Uchiha kicks it up a notch with…is that…no…it couldn’t be…wait…it is! OMIGOSH…he let him have it with a SCOFF ladies and gentlemen! Straight from this month’s ‘how to be an Uchiha’ catalogue too!
Oh my, what’s Uchiha to do now?
He hit back with an ice cold SNORT!
How will Uchiha ever get up from that one?!
MY GRANDMOTHER’S SPATULA! THE UCHIHA SMIRKED!
I am overcomeby the coldness and pure bastardery of that smirk! It was amazing!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FIRST GLARE OF THE MATCH!! WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT THE UCHIHA HASN’T WASTED HIS MOST PRIZED AWESOMEST MOVE EARLY IN THE GAME!
Silence reigns supreme as Uchiha takes in a deep breath to prepare himself for his comeback…
EINSTEIN’S UNDERSHORTS, IT’S OVER!
He wins hands down with a SPECTACULAR mix of Sharingan-induced lip-curling and the almighty UCHIHA POUT OF DOOM topped off with a condescending “Hn”!!
Needless to say, by the end, no one was really sure who had won but at least they got their daily dose of action…”
Thirty Days, Thirty Pleasures by Rizember
From: SunaGoldigga Fwd: 4 Things
Let your friends know more about you! Fill out this sheet for them! Then forward it to your friends, including the one who sent you this!
4 Jobs you’ve had in your life…1) Porn Actor 2) Ice cream Vendor 3) Abercrombie Salesclerk 4) Slut
Kyuubi rolled his eyes, typing in “You idiot, stop e-mailing me this chain letter bullshit.” Before sending the message to that idiot Shuukaku, and deleting the original.
- Circle of Life by may10baby
“But Naruto’s not acting all…whorish…” Iruka stated dryly. Kakashi snorted.
“Ah yeah, wait until he hits puberty. And grows.” He replied. Naruto roughly shoved Sasuke’s hands away as they circled his waist, hissing loudly at the Uchiha.
“Iruka!” a lovey-dovey voice drawled out. Iruka spun around to see Kyuubi, “not-interested”, asexual Kyuubi, hugging the arm of an older teen that looked suspiciously like Sasuke.
“Oh, no…” Iruka moaned, running over to Kyuubi and Itachi. “Kyuubi! Let go!” he ordered, trying to tug Kyuubi away from Itachi, both of the Children not looking very pleased at all.
“Dun wanna!” Kyuubi whined, burying his face into Itachi’s chest, the brunette’s arms circled his waist possessively. “He smells good…” Kyuubi stated breathlessly, breathing in Itachi’s scent. “So good…”
“Kyuu-nii!” Naruto whined shrilly, in the midst of the entrance of the two older brothers, Sasuke had taken the opportunity to grab his butt again.
Underneath his pants.
All sense of “Oh, I’m in love” and “he smells good” left Kyuubi in a flash, the red head darted over to Naruto and Sasuke and scooped up the crying blonde into his arms, making Sasuke back off with just his glare alone. Kyuubi growled lowly, causing Sasuke to stumbled back and run behind Itachi to safety like a smart person. Itachi lifted a brow.
“Well, shit.” He muttered as Kyuubi growled at them, no trace of affection in his eyes. He vaguely wondered how the hell he was supposed to calm a bitchy Kyuubi. He stared in awe as Iruka walked calmly up to Kyuubi and…scratched his ears?!
He face-palmed (1) ‘Of course!’ he mentally groaned, watching through his fingers as Kyuubi purred in delight, letting a suffocating Naruto scramble out of his arms.
“Nyah! Iruka! But, Ita does it better…” Kyuubi muttered, slipping away from Iruka’s grasp and trotting over to Itachi. The brunette sweatdropped as Kyuubi proceeded to wrap his arms around Itachi’s neck.
‘Talk about mood swings…’ Itachi thought, wrapping an arm around Kyuubi’s waist, the other hand tangling with his hair as he began to scratch the fox’s ear.
Itachi sweatdropped when Iruka gave him the dirtiest look possible. He rolled his eyes, returning his attention to the content redhead in his arms. He vaguely wondered…
Iruka gaped as Itachi’s other hand traveled down towards Kyuubi’s ass.
- Circle of Life by may10baby
“The itsy, bitsy leopards crawled into the fox pen! The whale of a dolphin chased them out again! Then the pervert of a keeper seduced that mean dolphin! And the itsy, bitsy leopards fucked the foxes within!” A blonde canary chirped, perched with his red lovebird on Itachi’s head, the leopard caring less as along as the featherbrains didn’t shit on him. “How that?” Deidara asked, Sasori rolled his bird eyes.
“Wonderful.” Sasuke purred, his tail wagging be him.
“Mommy! Mommy!” a little girl cried. “There’s birdies on that kitty’s head!” she squealed. The mother cooed, taking out a digital camera and taking a picture. Itachi growled.
- Circle of Life by may10baby
“Here, in here,” the old woman ushered him through a door he hadn’t even noticed into a room that had even more junk. “Over here.” Somehow the woman had gone by Sasuke and made it across the room without him even noticing.
“Er, what is it?” Sasuke asked.
The woman held a small, silver square I her hand. Attached to it was a matching chain. She smiled, her eyes crinkling underneath her glasses.
“Oh, this is a very special necklace. It was handcrafted in the Village Hidden in the Mist. It holds absorbs chakra while the wearer is asleep and has healing properties,” the old woman paused, her smile widened and her eyes held a mischievous glint,” It also comes with adult toys.” She held up a rather large box.
Sasuke was sold.
“Good day, Sasuke. And tell Naruto I’m sorry about his ass in advance,” the woman called as Sasuke walked out of the store.
Hm, he had never told her his name, and he sure as hell didn’t mention Naruto. That woman, Sasuke concluded, was very, very strange. And also slightly insane.
How To: SasuNaru by just-another-generic-emo-kid
Okay. Now he was feeling a tiny bit guiltier. Because Naruto was always like that. He couldn’t remember the number of times he’d had to use the spray bottle on Naruto to make him stop humping everything when he was a fox.
- The Trouble with Dating a Werefox by IvvyMoon
Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand as much as he could with his numb fingers, “I’m not going anywhere dobe. You made sure of that when you smashed my cell phone with my laptop and told my receptionist and business partners that if they called me at any point in the next two weeks you’d burn their houses down.” - Ashi-Eiketsu
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?
And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?
If you think that Mickey mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar then copy this onto your profile.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Boys are like lava lamps... hott, but not very bright.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, and yet it happens to you, copy this and put it in your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door
We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.
We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.
Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon
if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown
Dealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" --Unknown
"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." --Unknown
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein
"Some people have a large circle of friends, while others have only friends that they like." -- Unknown
Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." --Gilbert Chesterton
Some books make me wanna go adventuring, others feel that they have saved me the trouble." --Ashleigh Brilliant
That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook
The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame." --Oscar Wilde
"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can not stop eating peanuts." --Orson Welles
Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education." --Bertrand Russell
“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” - Unknown
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” - Unknown
“He who laughs last didn't get it.” - Unknown
"Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!"-Calvin and Hobbes
"Love your enemies! It really ticks them off"
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
"If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people"
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I used to be indicisive, now I'm not sure
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Real life isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it
real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
The world is cruel... get used to it!
Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire
population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.
Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone!
How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i wonderyup i wonder!
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?...Wait I just thought of something that would be good for making...ooooooooo something shiny!!
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?
Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!
For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Not the leprachans again!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back!
Purple monkeys r coming.purple monkeys r coming ...HIDE...
The cheese sat next to the banana!!
Watch out for the gopher!! He will turn you into blue pancakes...
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see it?s kind of a family crisis so?come back later?.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!
If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.(from Midnight Pearls aka Mermaid-Halfbreed)
If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your repeatedly on a table, and recieved weird looks from everyone in the immediate vincinity, copy and paste this in your profile. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Michi-Baka, Neji's fangirl, catilena1890, Kaira-chan15, MikaUchiha
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, then copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, Takaiteishu Naruto, TheOtaku Akatsuki, Kaira-chan15, MikaUchiha,
If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile and add your name: Snowfirexoxo, FlameRisingSucks101, Sparrowflight, Sapphirepaw, hxcb, SilverwingedShadow, Meepisms, FerretMan (ANIMALS RULE), death-on-arrival, Kaira-chan15, MikaUchiha,
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever pretended to be a spy with your headphones/earpiece just to freak people out, copy and paste this onto your profile. :D
If you write/like fluff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hizmit12-waterlilly3721, Moonlight Music Mistress, xoxoxlovestinksxoxox, Mika-San- The Gaara Fanatic, MikaUchiha
Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been received. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted.
You call it nonsense, I call it my arsenal
I am a breathing, living, LOVING, human being.
You bend me...I BREAK.
Surrounded by CARBON COPIES
I stain my hands a different color,
I am the RAINBOW.
Brighter than any shade of blue.
Darker than any night.
I will shine more than the
Sun and moon
I will speak my opinion,
as gently as possible,
but don't take offense,
when my heart beats
against you assholes.
I write to EXPRESS my inner thoughts,
NO ONE else, can think like me.
Steal my WORK,
and I will ruin everything.
I LOVE as much as possible,
and HATE much less,
I FIGHT, for the ones I love,
I WILL lend my shoulder, for your endless tears,
But DON'T get me wrong,
I WON'T always be strong.
My voice may never reach you,
but my words can strike a cord,
inside many hearts,
so listen carefully to my thoughts,
and you might be able to spot
NOT BY ME