Dwarfstar
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Joined 06-05-07, id: 1294041, Profile Updated: 01-31-09
Author has written 3 stories for Final Fantasy: Tactics, Warriors, and Neopets.

Hi! I'm pretty new here, but my collection is growing. Check out my bio, more coming soon! Oh yah, and go read the stories!

Name: DiamondBack Panthon (Panthon). Or Dwarfstar. Whichever you prefer.

Age: Certainly not telling

Gender: Female

Description(Panthon): Human proportions, black body fur, adder's diamond markings on back, muddy yellow-green cat's-eyes, long, prehensile tail that looks a bit like a cross between a snake's and a panther's, large, serrated barb on tailtip, dragon wings with adder's markings on membranes and backs, long, poisonous fangs, slightly long panther's ears, black fur-covered dragon claws. Wears glasses.

Description(Dwarfstar): Dark brown tabby cat with weird orange eyes and a mischeivous disposition. Wears glasses, oddly enough.

Interests: Drawing, reading (especially fan fiction- duh), Neopets (somewhat), Invader Zim, Spyro, just about anything Final Fantasy, playing videogames, DDR, laughing/making other people laugh, 'idiotic genius'.

Favorite Quotes:

"There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness." -Po, from Kung Fu Panda

"Alright, I was wrong. There is now a level zero." -Master Shifu, from Kung Fu Panda

"Wow... you're all much bigger than your action figures, well, except for Mantis, he's about the same size." -Po, from Kung Fu Panda

"gasp It's got chicken legs!" -Gir, from Invader Zim

"I had no id-ee-a." -Gir, from Invader Zim

"Why was there ham in my pocket?..." -Dib, from Invader Zim, on finding out that he just paid for cookies with ham

"THE HALLOWEENIES!!" -Zim, from Invader Zim

"No, you're thinking of kirins, which have wings, hence the ability to fly. Dark lords just kind of, plummet." -Tanis, from the awesome and much-recommended-by-me random humor Harry Potter fic, Blarg

"Lesson Number One in Chemistry: Never lick the spoon." -I Have No Idea Who Thought of This

"When life gives you lemons, flame them for all you're worth." -My Demented Mind

"We're friends. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh even harder." -Buddy Icon

"Y HELLO THAR!" -Another Hilarious Buddy Icon

"ORLY?!" -ANOTHER Icon

Current Fics:

Huh?, a Neopets fic

Summary: What would happen if you DIDN'T magically change back from whatever color you became in Petaria on returing to Neopia? The ending to Wand of Wishing, tweaked a little. R&R! Flames will be used to bake cookies for those that deserve them.

Status: Finished for now, although if I have any other crazy Neopets ideas that don't turn out so well, I'll probably put 'em here.

Thoughts: I typed this up in about 20 minutes, and absolutely hated it as many seconds after I published it. I know it's crap, but it's going to stay up as a reminder to me to think before I publish, and possibly as an outlet for other random Neopets ideas that didn't turn out so well. Otherwise, it's history.

Spoof of the Lions, a Final Fantasy: Tactics fic

Summary: Ever notice the lack of humor in Tactics? Well all that's about to change! Step right up for the first of a series of hilarious spoofs from teh greatest spoof author EVER! well, not really

Status: Floating between continuation, hiatus, and abandonment, although the latter-est is unlikely.

Thoughts: I loved it when I first put it up, nearly a year ago. Now, the summary makes me cringe, and the humor is dangerously close to the kind that plagues the Warriors Fandom. However, it's my fanfiction firstborn, and I'm hesitant to give up on it. I'm almost definitely not going to abandon it completely; my brother, as well as a couple reviewers, have expressed a strong desire to see more, and either way I wouldn't want to call it quits. I don't think I'll try to change the humor completely; instead, I think I'll try to write it with the same basic style, only not as retarded and with less grammar errors. That said, it's still probably not going to be updated for a while.

Not ANOTHER Truth or Dare!!, a Warriors fic

Summary:Hey y'all, I've been seeing tons of Warriors Truth or Dares up lately, so I thought I might as well put one up myself! Check it out, yo!

Status: As active as any story of mine is ever going to be.

Thoughts: It's two o'clock in the morning, and I'm tired. I'll finish this tomorrow.

Coming Soon...

Neopets Stuff Will Include:

1. A series of GarooxYlana oneshots. This is an awesome pairing, and I'm amazed no one has thought of it yet. Or thought to put Garoo in a fic at all. OK, well, Child-dragon gave him at least a reasonable mention in her story the Sloth Series, and The Water Daemon gave a teensy li'l mention of him, but FINALLY he will be a main character! XP

2. Birthday Wish- When a crazy user is granted 50 wishes by a genie, everythings starts out innocently. But after a while, things really go nuts! Can our insane heroine, along with the help of her neopets, return the Multiverse to normal? Crossover list inside, but since there is no inside yet... NeopetsInvaderZimCrashBandicootFFIXHerculesnightmareBeforeChristmasWingfeatherHoodwinkedGreatMouseDetective RedwallNarniaWarriorsDragonlanceWheelofTime Crossover. First in Blumaraniac series. Genre:Humor/General.

3. Maybe a plot spoof or two, although that's mainly Return of Itsy's area... Oh well!

Invader Zim Stuff Will Include:

1. Gir and the Homicidal Maniac- A serial killer tries to kidnap Zim, thinking he's just a normal child. What he didn't reckon with, however, was Gir. Shnooky is back, Zim experiments with napalm, and a murderous kidnapper is finally brought to justice. Oneshot. Slight ShnookyxOC.Genre: Humor/Crime

2. Kidnap the Tallest- Three Irken girls are quite ticked off at Tallest Red and Purple. Their solution? Kidnap the Tallest, of course. Originally a oneshot spoof songfic of Kidnap the Sandy Claws from Nightmare Before Christmas, now a full blown musical! Genre: Humor/Friendship

3. Never Come Back- Tak and Mimi have crash-landed back on Earth. Tak is badly injured; Mimi goes for help, and finds it in the most unexpected of places... DATR, MADGR (MimixDuty Gir) Genre: Romance/Adventure

4. Return to Hobo 13- A few canon friends have decided to try out Hobo 13. Unfortunately, Mesa has stowed away in their ship! Add a cast of crazy OCs, a ticked off Sergeant Hobo, and a new, deadlier Hobo 13, and bad things will happen. DATR, MADGR, ShnookyxOC, and slight ZAGR. Genre: Adventure/Humor

Final Fantasy IX Stuff Will Include:

1. The Quest for Cuteness- "If fangirls we will have, cute we must become." When a jab from Eiko gives Zorn and Thorn the idea that they'd have fangirls if only they were cute, they go to Doctor Tot for some old maps. Thus begins the quest for the dreaded Forest of Cute! Major AU. Genre:Humor/Adventure

2. A Final Carol- Kuja is visited during the night by the ghost of his old master, Garland, who warns him that he has a second chance at not going to You-Know-Where for all eternity, and he'd darn well better not screw it up. Major AU.
Genre: Humor/Adventure

3. High Heels- Some people say high heels are a pain in the butt. I disagree, partly because it's your feet, not your heiney, that get blistered and sore, and partly because they're responsible for my boyfriend being my boyfriend. Viveiko oneshot, major AU.

Wheel of Time Stuff Will Include:

I Gots Me a Myrddraal- When a certain fangirl enters in a WoT sweepstakes, she thinks it's just a joke. Little does she know just how wrong she is... First in Ocean Everlasting series.
Genre:Humor/Mystery

Never Poke a Fade- Mesaana learns the hard way that Myrddraal aren't meant to be teased, especially not Shaidar Haran. Slight SHxMesaana and SHxSemirhage.
Genre:Humor/Friendship

And Then My Processor Screamed in Agony-Ocean and Co. are hanging out in the WoT Fandom, when they're separated by sudden insane fluctuations in Canon, which are somehow tied to a very strange Fade. Can our heroes escape, and maybe save Canon along the way? Sequel to I Gots Me A Myrddraal.
Genre:Humor/Adventure

Crossover Stuff Will Include:

1. Impending Fantasy- Through a strange turn of events, characters from Invader Zim are sucked into the world of Final Fantasy IX, and vice versa. Can our heroes (and villians) survive each other's worlds long enough to find out what happened? Invader ZimFFIX crossover.
Genre:Humor/Adventure

2.And Then the Fish Went 'Zeeeeee Kerplat'!- When a ton of Fandoms have been mashed together without warning, chaos ensues as script format is on the rise, OOC is lurking around every corner, and randomness and stupidity threaten to overwhelm the Universe! Only our known-and-loved fictional friends can save the day! Crossover list inside. BUT, since this is on my profile, Invader Zim FFIX Dragon Rider Zelda Crash Bandicoot Redwall Narnia Dragonlance Nightmare Before Christmas Hoodwinked Neopets Monsters Inc. Spyro Great Mouse Detective Hercules Inkheart Igraine the Brave Wingfeather FF Tactics Warriors Wheel of Time Gunnerkrigg Order of the Stick Erfworld Star Trek TNG Crossover. Whew!
Genre:Humor/Adventure

3. Valentine's Doom- The Multiverse unites once again! People from a few Fandoms have come together to enjoy The Day. Food, games, pairings- pure goodness, or so it seems. Join us as they try to survive this newest insanity and celebrate Valentine's Day! Crossover list inside.
Genre:Humor/Romance

Mary Sue Wars Stuff Will Include:

A Tale of Two Mary Sues: How It All Began- A horde of rabid Suethors keen on the destruction of their Fandoms. Five Writers keen on the protection of said Fandoms. Two Mary Sues. One redeeming journey. And a lame, lame summary to boot.
Genre:Adventure/Humor

Anatomy of a Mary Sue: A Study- Kang and Panthon, reformed Mary Sues, a.k.a. reformed perversions of nature, have captured one of said perversions of nature, and have decided to run a few tests to see just how resilient and invincible a Mary Sue really is...
Genre:Humor

Reformed- Kang and Panthon have decided that other Sues and Stus should have a chance at reformation. From this comes the brilliant idea of a gameshow. Join the captured Sues and Stus as they head down the path of the Reformed! Genre:Humor/Parody

List of OCs:

My Invader Zim OCs:

Mauve: An Irken and a reformed Mary Sue to boot with reddish-yellow eyes, spiked iron knuckles (instead of brass knuckles), spiked iron plates strapped onto her feet, and tiny spiked metal rings around her antennae. Created as a parody Sue, and made as a ripoff of Tak. Is best friends with Kir and Min. Is also a member of the Reformed, an aptly named group of reformed Sues and Stus. Appears in: Kidnap the Tallest, Return to Hobo 13, Reformed, and has a minor appearance in Valentine's doom along with Kir and Min.

Min: Mauve's best friend and a reformed Demi-Sue. Female Irken with pale purple eyes, one of which is always closed, a large head, and a slightly emo personality. Was created as Mauve's sidekick and Dib's love interest before her reformation. Is best friends with Kir as well Mauve. A member of the Reformed. Appears in: Kidnap the Tallest, Reformed, and in a minor appearance in Valentine's Doom along with Mauve and Kir.

Kir: A little girl Irken with pale red, just barely yellow-tinted eyes, she is one of the legitimite OC trainers for Mauve, Min, and Raz, along with Kel and Nin. Is the tag-along-little-sister figure in her little group of friends, and is also Raz's little sister. She is actually the same character as Mauve; their author had gone back to an early stage in the character's development after realizing the error of her ways and altered her significantly, creating Kir. Pronounced Keer. A Sue/Stu Reformer, one who is not a Sue/Stu, but helps reform Sues/Stus. Appears in: Kidnap the Tallest, Reformed, and has a cameo in Valentine's Doom along with her two friends.

Raz: EXTREMELY tall Irken, taller than the Tallests themselves. Reformed Gary Stu, which is the obvious reason for his tallness. Glowing yellow eyes, no PAK, wears a really, really, REALLY long trench coat. Carries a gun at all times. Kir's big brother, by some Stuish force. One of the surprisingly not-so-few former Stu members of the Reformed. Appears in: Reformed, Kidnap the Tallest(a little), and has a cameo in Valentine's Doom, along with all my other OCs.

Well, I'm too lazy to list all my Ocs right now, but I'll list more later!

OK, time for the copy and paste list, so here goes...

If you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Hawkfire, Wildheart, Rainstorm, Dovewing/mysterys, Adderstar, Dwarfstar

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be the 8 percent that woud be laughing their butts off.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Dwarfstar

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If you think cats are awesome, copy this to your profile, and add your name to this list: Brambleclaw's Babe, Amber Sea, Mistwing, Littlewhisker, Sakeraa, Sparrowflight, Griffenclaw, Katklaws, Rainstorm, mysterys, Adderstar, Dwarfstar

If you LOVE cats more than dogs, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

~98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. ~

I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in today's culture. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on some jerk of a boyfriend who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, Dwarfstar

If you love ZADF, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you or your best friend(s) is insane,copy this to your profile.

If it has been your childhood ambition to become the crazy cat lady when you grow up, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you want to build up an army of resistance fighters against Bunny, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the "roster". Adderstar of ValorClan, Dwarfstar

If you are getting f-ing tired of those idiots who think it's funny to repeat YIFF IN HELL FURFAGS over and over and over again, copy this if you really want to, but more importantly, beat the living smack out of them.

Enough of Suspian and other boring/perverted pairings. I say it's time for a revolution! If you think nerds are better than princes and that the movieverse Susan ought to end up with the geek, copy and paste this into your profile and spread the word! Susan and the Geek forever!

I really need to clean out my inbox. :P

Well, that about does it for bio! like I said, more coming soon. Encouragements to get off my butt and write are welcomed, WITHOUT profanity, that is. :P Seeya!

~Panthon/Dwarfstar~

~IMPORTANT UPDATE~ My interwebs have been out of commission for quite awhile now, and they will probably be out of it for a while longer. I won't be posting any stories until then(I'm using the library chompie), but most of them should be mostly finished when I come back. If you're really that interested(which is unlikely, but humor me, will ya?), check beck in about a month or so. Hopefully, I'll be back by then. Toodles!

~Panthon/Dwarfstar~

~UPDATE~ My first story is out! Go check out the first chapter of Spoof of the Lions! Man, that was a short entry...

~Panthon/Dwarfstar~

~UPDATE~ Second story is out, yet another Warriors truth or dare in the rapidly growing group. Check it out now, and join in if you want to! Ciao(man, I love that word)!

~Dwarfstar/Panthon~

Hey everybody! The second chapter of the Truth or Dare fic is almost finished, and believe me, don't drink anything while you're reading it! Spoof of the Lions has been put on hiatus, I'll continue it when I don't have such a monstrous amount of fanfiction to write. If you see any 'Coming Soons' that you especially want to see anytime soon, PM me to say so, and I'll put it on my high priority list. Otherwise, I'll just work mainly on Not ANOTHER Truth Or Dare, and a little bit on my oneshots. Which, by the way, High Heels, a Final Fantasy IX (FFIX) oneshot, is almost done, so be on the lookout for the next week or so! Peace out,

~Dwarfstar/Panthon~

To quote one of my favorite Icons of all time, "Y HELLO THAR!" Okeeday, here's the news: Thanks to Me-and-my-alter-egos' review, Spoof of the Lions is OFF HIATUS! WAAHOOOO!! -clears throat- High Heels has been delayed, due to certain issues, a.k.a. a pop-up from some stupid pr0n site or something (shudders) came up, because now I'm on probation as far as the internet, and I had to stay off the chompie for a couple days. NATOD (Not ANOTHER Truth Or Dare) is THIS CLOSE to being finished! Well, the second chapter anyway. The actual fic is nowhere NEAR being finished. :) Also, I'm going to be doing the Mary Sue Wars series, where the main characters are Bat Kangaroo, or Kang, and Diamond Back Panthon, or Panthon, who are two of my alter egos. Mary Sue Wars is somewhat inspired by the Sue Slayers of Redwall Fandom fame, mainly Kelaiah and LittlePsychoWolf. No, that doesn't mean I plagiarised my butt off, it just means I got the idea to write about Mary Sues and Gary Stus. Anyhoo, time's up gotta go BYE!

~Dwarfstar/Panthon~

OK, I've been cut off from the One Power-- I mean, the internet for like two weeks, and I kind of lost my will to even try to get past my extremely bad case of writer's block and work on my fics, but the webs be's back, I've been reading WAY too much Wheel of Time, and I have been inspired to get off my lazy butt and WRITE by Eternity's rather rude and somewhat nonsensical review. I mean honestly, if it's a topic that's been written about 40-something times already in different Fandoms, and 11 times in that Fandom, it's NOT plagiarism if you don't ask someone for permission to write one. It's kind of like if there's a particular non-canonical pairing that you want to write that's quite popular (examples Yuffentine from FF7 and ZAGR from Invader Zim), you don't have to ask someone for permission to write it. -takes deep breath- Now that I'm finished ranting about that, I think I'm pretty much done. Oh yeah,I'm planning on writing a spoof of the Redwall book Legend of Luke, so be on the lookout for that. To quote Kellysquared, bye bye bye!

~Dwarfstar/Panthon~

Hello chillinks. OK. I admit it. My Neopets fic, Huh? sucks horribly. I typed it up in about twenty minutes to help me get rid of my writer's block/apathy, and an idea that had been floating around in my head for however-long, and I was idiot enough to actually publish it. -headdesk- although, I did get a rather hilarious flame to laugh at, from an idiot called Flame Rising. If you need a laugh, and you aren't eating anything or planning to in the next hour or so, I suggest you read it. Of course, the sheer lameness of the actual fic is worth a laugh, too, so... Anyway, peace out! Ciao,

~Dwarfstar/Panthon~

Hey everybuddeh! Whassup? I just decided to update my little 'journal', and let everyone who cares to know that I will also soon be updating my fics as well. Check above for the news. Anyhoo, nothin' much else to say, except that I found a few kickin' awesome webcomics, and that I have the ENTIRE FRIGGIN' TNG SERIES ON THE COMPUTER IN MY ROOM!! -flails arms- Well, with a few exceptions... Anyhoo, I now have the Ficstatus section up on my bio, so check it out! Ciao,

~Dwarfstar~

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Memoires Of A Mental Breakdown by Vixen2004 reviews
Yuffie asks but doesn't really want to know. Shelke tells her anyway. A catalogued description of insecurity to insanity, told around two foils and their fabricated penchant for conversation. Dark Comedy.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 41,777 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Yuffie K., Shelke R.
Official Fanfiction University of Redwall by Kit and Minty reviews
Cowritten by Laburnum Steelfang and kitsune106d. An authorised spinoff of the Fanfiction University of Middleearth, where fanbrats come to learn through pain.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,678 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 10/10/2006
Investigating Things That Begin With the Letter… by Naranne reviews
The Alphabet Challenge. A series of one-shots and drabbles centered around Alice Kingsley and the Hatter, each inspired by a singular word beginning with a different letter of the alphabet. Rating will go up in later chapters. Burtonverse.
Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,729 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Alice K., Mad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp
Prince Crap In A Can by KellySquared reviews
Insane parody of the Prince Caspian movie, because we can. And because we're completely and utterly insane and random, and want to share with the world. Sequel to The Loin, the Beep and the Wackjob. WE DRIVE WIGWAMS! Now with 40% more potatoes!
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 27,159 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/21/2010 - Published: 11/28/2008
Rollercoaster by Mistress Scribbles reviews
Fate conspired differently. Death passed Tasha by. Given the time to evolve, a relationship she'd dismissed as a one night stand became the most complicated love affair she'd know. Series of stories spanning the show & movies. D&Y, lots of sexual tension.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 198,016 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Data, N. Yar - Complete
Wings by Tyloric reviews
Cid Highwind is lost in a 'verse he knows nothing about. Trapped in a place where traveling in the black is common. A place like this should be paradise to someone like him, right?
Crossover - Final Fantasy VII & Firefly - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,242 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 5/15/2010 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Cid H., Mal - Complete
How to Care for Your Angeal by LadyNightRunner reviews
Thank you for your purchase from ShinRa Corp’s SOLDIER line. The following guide is intended to help you become accustomed to your new SOLDIER and to care for him properly so that he has a long, happy life. We hope you enjoy your purchase!
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,520 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Angeal H.
Until It Sleeps by VoodooChild3000 reviews
Another prompt from the ST:XI kink meme, in which Winona's shuttle doesn't get away. Crazy grieving Nero, deciding Fate owes him, opts to keep her and baby Jim alive as surrogate wife and son, with all the angst and potential tragedy that will entail.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,656 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 3/22/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Nero, Winona K.
Opportunity by Laura Schiller reviews
Nog has been taught that females are inferior to males. Mrs. O'Brien, however, is determined to win the respect of her contrary student ... by any means necessary.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,162 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Nog, Keiko O. - Complete
And the World Span Madly On by Zakeno reviews
After being separated for a year, they're brought together once again through sorrow and destruction. But he knows it won't last long, that his fate is sealed... 4x6
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,167 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/23/2010 - 4, 6 - Complete
Motives by Ms. Audrey G reviews
A creature of dark, a demonic tree, and a psychotic man have a conversation about reasons.
Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Cloud of Darkness, Exdeath - Complete
The Elevator Pitch by Dawn Searcher reviews
Two Marines, an Elite, and a Grunt get into an elevator ... or so the story goes.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,375 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Complete
How to Write the the Great humanSangheili Novel by Exilo reviews
Inspired by "How to Write the Great American Indian Novel" by Sherman Alexie. One shot, parody of Halo. Dedicated to all the other writers of this site.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/10/2009 - Complete
Horns by Moe Machina reviews
Dycedarg and Zalbag go riding in a hunt with a future queen.
Final Fantasy: Tactics - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,969 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/14/2009 - Dycedarg.B, Zalbag.B - Complete
The Last Straw by Hikaru Irving reviews
Tidus is sick and tired of everyone he fights not taking him seriously. When Kefka decides to take a verbal stab at him, he's just about had it.
Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Tidus, Kefka P. - Complete
It takes a village to raise a child by Pandora's Cube reviews
Nero and Ayel get turned into 5 year olds. Written for the kink meme so it's kinda cracky
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 836 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Nero, L. McCoy/Bones
Real Dark Adventure by Purple-Rose-Ninja reviews
When playing Neopets:The Darkest Faerie, two girls are pulled into the game and forced to complete it to get out! Please review, no flames please, and constructive criticisms welcome. Anonymous reviews are very welcome as well.
Neopets - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,463 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 7/5/2007
La Belle Dame Sans Merci by Water-smurf reviews
If she thought that the horrors were over, Coraline was wrong. But this time, it's her own mind and actions that are dragging her down. The Beldam holds two people hostage, but it doesn't seem like she wants to sew the buttons anymore... WxC OWxC
Coraline - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,897 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Coraline J., Wybie L.
Coffin by Materioptikon reviews
In dreams, two monsters meet. In dreams, one is redeemed. Oneshot.
Crossover - Final Fantasy VII & Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,926 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Vincent V., Alucard - Complete
Red Matter by VoodooChild3000 reviews
Complete crack inspired by a thread at sixwordstories. Nero & co. have been led to believe that red Jell-O is the new Red Matter, and must navigate the unknown country that is a Terran grocery store.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,915 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Nero - Complete
Out of Time by Person4 reviews
Antimony had grown up, and then grown old, and then grown ancient. Gunnerkrigg Court, over ninety years down the line.
Misc. Comics - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Complete
Nuisance of Boredom by Ambient Dark Melody reviews
The Romulans are stuck in space; Ayel is bored, and Nero has to put up with it. Rated for language.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Nero
Slip Ups by Aytheria reviews
A collection of oneshots dealing with the aftermath of the Pevensies’ lives in Narnia [all 7 books]. After all, once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia. Little slipups here and there simply prove the Pevensies are...different...
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,396 - Reviews: 431 - Favs: 786 - Follows: 605 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 12/10/2007
Love You To Death by The Only Pancake reviews
Hollypaw/Ashfur darkfic! Written pre-Dark River. Ashfur never got over his lost love, Squirrelflight. He is willing to do anything to have a part of her back- even if that means tangling young Hollypaw in a web of hurt and fear. Can she escape his grasp?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,159 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Hollyleaf, Ashfur - Complete
What's In The Teacup? by Voldemort Perfumes reviews
The tea party has just gotten a bit morbid. Alice denies it, but she knows what's in the teacup. Do you? -Short poem- Reviews appreciated!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Alice, Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
Veni, Vidi, Vici by Exilo reviews
The alliance is hunting down the Brutes, slaughtering them by the droves. They're running scared, and when they are cornered on a distant colony, a small squad is sent to deal with them. But this colony has a secret. A dangerous secret indeed. Complete.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,973 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/1/2009 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Complete
ITT: Another Form by That's SQUALL reviews
And lo, Square took pity upon Its characters, and It said, "Let there be laundromats!"
Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
Phyllis by Dearheart reviews
Susan could never have guessed that the nerdy kid at the train station would someday be her husband... The story of why Susan chose an ordinary man over a dashing prince. Giftfic for violamom and goofydad!
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,099 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Susan Pevensie
Morrow Days at Boot Camp by Ancient and Forever reviews
Sir Thursday mentioned that the Morrow Days did military service? Sounds like fun... Oneshot - unless it proves really popular :
Keys to the Kingdom - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,489 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/25/2009
Good bye and God bless by Exilo reviews
The dead have spread over all humanity's kingdoms, and the Earth has settled into an eerie quiet. The memoir of the last man, his reflections, his past, his dreams that have crumbled. This is his legacy, his final words. Horrible summary, i know. R&R plz.
Dawn of the Dead - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,378 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Complete
The Loin, the Beep and the Wackjob by KellySquared reviews
Exactly the movie except not at all. Random additions to lines and stuff that really don't make sense. Oh well, we love it and that's all that matters. Review and tell us how psychotic we are! Yay!
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 66,597 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/2/2008 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Complete
Remember When? by The Unheard Song reviews
Remember when we were kits, playing in the nursery, tumbling and laughing, happy and carefree? Remember when we were kits, when we made a promise to train together and just be happy? Spottedleaf and Tigerstar reflect on each other. Two-chapter oneshot.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,424 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Spottedleaf, Tigerstar - Complete
Another Chance by Mo0ngazer reviews
Cinderpelt is trapped. But dying isn't the only thing she is afraid of; what about being dead? And what about her ambition? It isn't fair that she could never become the warrior she always wanted to be! Oneshot. PLEASE READ & REVIEW! Spoilers!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/12/2008 - Complete
Smooge: A Fan Fiction Carol by Dearheart reviews
PRETTY MUCH DEAD. DON'T ASK ME TO UPDATE PLZ. Emma-Leeza Smooge is the worst of the worst.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,363 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 12/22/2007
The Eighth of Quellë by Moriquende reviews
Saruman's birthday is fast approaching, and he doesn't want anyone to know....but Radagast and Grima won't let it pass without a big, cheerful, obnoxious celebration. Birthday fic for Calaquende, written in her very own AU.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,728 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Saruman, Grima W. - Complete
What Have we Come to? by The Unheard Song reviews
-Oneshot- What have we come to? A complete end in the path of love, like a log in the middle of a river, causing the river to stop flowing? Leaf x Crow, Night x Crow, Feather x Crow
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 667 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Crowfeather, Leafpool - Complete
Oh No, Not Again by Quirel reviews
The Master Chief has fought thousands of enemies, seen hundreds of worlds. He has encountered the great mysteries of the Galaxy, and he has defeated them all. What he could never figure out is why some Grunts scream 'Not again' shortly before death.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,856 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/17/2008 - Complete
Whispering Willows by Mo0ngazer reviews
Graystripe has been shattered. His love has left him, his clan won't talk to him, and his kits are half-clan, and nobody cares for them. What will he do without Silverstream? Oneshot. PLEASE READ & REVIEW!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
Ravenpaw's Dream by Mo0ngazer reviews
How would Fireheart's destiny have changed if Ravenpaw had remained in ThunderClan? ThunderClan's destiny? And how would Ravenpaw's life have changed? Or would he have had one at all? It looks like he's going to find out. Oneshot. The story is now up!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
Milkshakes in the Stars by Mo0ngazer reviews
Rockhead is mourning the death of his leader, but SkyClan in mourning his promotion to leader. He has no idea how to lead a clan! And then realize what his name will be... StarClan knows he can't sing!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,253 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/17/2008 - Complete
Nightmare by Hikaru Irving reviews
Oneshot. None of it was supposed to happen. He had joined Shinra to better his life, not worsen it. He never enlisted for the deaths of his friends, for four years of torture, or the nightmares of a monster eating materia with teeth that crushed bone.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,247 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Cloud S., Aerith G. - Complete
When Firestar Got Bored by EspeonSilverfire2 reviews
What happens when Firestar gets bored just before some warrior ceremonies? Some cats get very embarassed! Also featuring Brook with catnip! First funny warriors story so R&R please! One-shot.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Complete
Linwe Seregon Swifteye by Kelaiah reviews
[PARODY] It was just another day at the abbey Song was the Abbess, Dann was the Champion, everything was going fine. Then the Marlfoxes mysteriously come back to life, and a beautiful squirrel with everchanging fur comes knocking at the Main Gates.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,409 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/12/2008 - Published: 3/16/2007
The Last of Them by Tetzel reviews
The Epilogue.
Redwall - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 104,168 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/2/2008 - Published: 12/6/2007 - Complete
How Cheesetheif Got His Name by Mellatrix reviews
Remember Cheesetheif the rat from the first book? Well, this is a story from his childhood. R&R please!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/22/2008 - Complete
OC Problem by Requiem for the Dream reviews
SnuffSnuff, this is for you. When a pissed off authoress notices a few things about fanfics everywhere in the Warriors fandom, she decides to type a oneshot to show how retarded people can be...
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,080 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Rikki Tikki Tavi: Rikki's Point of View by AuroraBorealis14 reviews
Something I wrote for school. It's Rikki Tikki Tavi by Rudyard Kipling from Rikki Tikki Tavi's point of view.
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,852 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/20/2007 - Complete
Love and the Art of War by DarthAmmonite reviews
Nanao X ...Zaraki? I have no excuse, explanation, or defense of this pairing whatsoever. So very, very sorry. The crack! It burns!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,846 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 11/17/2007 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Nanao I., K. Zaraki
The Runner by Kit-Quicksand reviews
Yuffie has no where else to go, and Vincent sits crisscross apple sause. Yuffentine.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,544 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/28/2007 - Yuffie K., Vincent V.
The Darigan Eyrie by The Dragon Lover reviews
This is a story I wrote a long time ago, but I've felt that I should put it up anyways. It's based on how discrimination can hurt everyone, no matter who you are, but love can always heal you. Might have a little bit of violence.
Neopets - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,202 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/3/2007 - Complete
Smelly Hamburger by Mistress Megatron reviews
Starscream decides to write a letter to Megatron telling the decepticon leader exactly how he feels about him. Nonslash and it's a oneshot.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 667 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/1/2007 - Complete
The WoT Musical by Traitors Daughter reviews
Basically... well... a Musical... Wheel of Time style... Chapter 4 finally dragged up kicking and screaming...
Wheel of Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,429 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/27/2007 - Published: 10/3/2006
Rusty the Small, Furry animal! by xKalx reviews
Full summary inside. Very suspensful story about true love and the meaning of happiness and teaches goodlessons and morals. very tasteful! I was peeing my pants while my cousin wrote it.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Complete
Tea With The Creator by TheZorpisuttle reviews
Moiraine, fuming about her prolonged stay in Finnland, arranges for a few chats with the Creator. The Creator, understandably, is rather panicked. Ch 4 is up, with Elaida and Egwene!
Wheel of Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,879 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/24/2006 - Published: 7/12/2005
The Abbot's Dream by Twainsyke reviews
In which the Father Abbot of Redwall Abbey is shown an eyeopening dream regarding the similarities of goodbeasts and vermin.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,090 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2006 - Complete
Puntifications! by Creepy reviews
The horribly messed up Clan Punt goes out to make a name for itself! But with a perverted Sage, an insane dragoon, and a wannabe ninja, what kind of name will that be? Behold Chapter 3, a lovely romp through the sewers!
Final Fantasy: Tactics Advance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,441 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/16/2006 - Published: 4/7/2004
The Realms of Desolation by Turquoisephoenix reviews
[TROC Sequel] Twenty years after the defeat of Changeling, an old enemy returns with the help of strange new powers from a desolate realm and kidnaps the heroes of Avalar. Now the fate of two realms rests in the hands of six hybrid children.
Spyro the Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 44,600 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/22/2005 - Published: 3/8/2005
Kayat and the Letter by Nogard reviews
A Grunt receives a mysterious gift.
Halo - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/2/2005 - Complete
Sticks and Stones by Turquoisephoenix reviews
[Short DialogueDrabble Oneshot] What started as a game of 'jab the yeti with a stick' later became a deep discussion of feelings between both captive and captor in the Forgotten Worlds. BentleySheilaMoneybags triangle.
Spyro the Dragon - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,261 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/5/2005 - Complete
The Search of Truth by TEOL reviews
The Dark One sets Aran'gar and Osan'gar on the task of discovering who killed Asmodean. Can they unravel Randland's most mysterious mystery?
Wheel of Time - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,332 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 5/10/2005 - Published: 2/8/2005 - Complete
The Banishing of Sméagol by Andy Longwood reviews
“It is not to be wondered at that he became very unpopular . . . they called him Gollum, and cursed him, and told him to go far away; and his grandmother, desiring peace, expelled him from the family and turned him out of her hole.” – Gandalf, FotR
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,274 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2005 - Smeagol, Gollum
Worlds Apart! by Shadow-Nightfall reviews
A Dragonlance and Wheel of Time crossover. What happens when a kender meets a Myrddraal. Or how the Dark One got the idea for Shaidar Haran :p
Wheel of Time - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,174 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/16/2005 - Complete
Grima's Grisly Mistake by Erestor reviews
AU in poetic form. Remember that scene in TT, when Saruman is preparing his MiddleEarthy dynamite? What if Grima and his candle got a bit too close?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2004 - Grima W., Saruman - Complete
SPLAT! And The Story Begins by Elraralia reviews
[COMPLETED] Much as you can gather from the title. Sméagol falls into Mount Doom... and SPLAT ends up in Earth.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 15,890 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/5/2004 - Published: 12/17/2003 - Gollum - Complete
She Who Dwells In Dreams by Ben Pieper reviews
Part II of my series focussing on each of the Forsaken.
Wheel of Time - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,141 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/17/2001
Making Of A Demon by Ben Pieper reviews
This is the first part of a little series of short stories about how the Forsaken swore themselves to the Shadow. This is the first, about Ishamael.
Wheel of Time - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,635 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/15/2001
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Not ANOTHER Truth or Dare! reviews
Enter the wacky, scary, dangerous and dowright odd world of the Warriors Truth Or Dare... if you dare. Pun intended. Revised just in time for Christmas! PMs only, people; flames will be used to bake cookies for those that deserve them. :
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,809 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/8/2008 - Published: 5/6/2008
Huh? reviews
What would happen if you DIDN'T magically change back from whatever color you became in Petaria on returing to Neopia? The ending to Wand of Wishing, tweaked a little. R&R! Flames will be used to bake cookies for those that deserve them. 3
Neopets - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 853 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Complete
Spoof of the Lions reviews
Ever notice the lack of humor in Tactics? Well all that's about to change! Step right up for the first of a series of hilarious spoofs from teh greatest spoof author EVER! well, not really
Final Fantasy: Tactics - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,157 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/26/2008
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