Author has written 3 stories for Transformers/Beast Wars, Twilight, and Hellsing.
"There are only four questions of value in life.
What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same: only love."
Go to http:/// and read about Minus. It'll do you some good.
All transformers fans I have made some icons if you want to use them you can find them at http:///user/WaveWatcher Even if you not a transormers fan I've made some other really cool stuff that you can look at to
Story idea one: Vampires
Anastasia is dating Kevin who is guarded by Jazz, Kevin gets drunk and beats Ana to death, and Anna is turned into a Vampire right before she dies. Anna wants revenge once she learns to control herself, kills Kevin and disappears leaving behind very confused 'bots that don't know what the heck it was that killed him. Meets Sammy (Sam) who teaches her to become a 'vegetarian' vampire, goes to school 100 some years later and is discovered by autobots. Won't say nothing else cause that's already enough of a plot spoiler, for those who love Twilight yes this is a cross over, I love it but couldn't ever come up with something until I thought of this so TADA!!
Story idea two: Mermaids
Lillian and her sister come to shore to visit their aunt who left the water years ago duo to a family feud, when they visit they meet Sam and Mikiale. When they return home however they discover that it no longer exists. They return to their aunts and now have to live on land with their only remaining family. But will they be able hide what happens every night at low tide from the 'bots and their friends?
No one ever reads these so I'm gonna work on making my profile as long as I possible can... so be prepared.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you've actually tried to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, copy and paste this into your profile.
Stereotyping others is just plain wrong. "Muslims are all terrorists!" WRONG. "Americans are all warmongering assholes!" WRONG. "Black people are all gangsters/drug dealers!" WRONG. "Australians ride around in kangaroo pouches!" Now this is just stupid. If you're sick of people judging others because of their race, religion, nationality, or anything else, copy this onto your profile. If you feel like all Dark Jak needed was a hug, copy and paste this to your profile
If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.
If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are one of those weirdos who actually reads these things and puts them in their profile, go get a life.
If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
I don't care what you say! I AM A PIRATE AND THAT'S THAT! Copy and paste this into your profile if you are a Pirate!
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.
Most teenagers today complain about how fat they are. If you're happy with your body and don't flip out if you eat something with more than 200 calories, then post this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some tall, metal pole that is blatently obvious copy this into your profile
If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to you're profile
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you almost always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile
Pyromanic? Put this in your profile.
If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile.
People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you suck at math and think anyone who likes math is weird copy and paste the to your profile.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D
If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you believe that the government should make levees, not war, copy this into your profile.
If you ran up a down escalator copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek)
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you thought that the Eragon Movie really sucked because it was hardly like the book, copy this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freaking could, copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flame throwers at your command copy this onto your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele
If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language, as we know it, put this in your profile!
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.
Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.
If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason put this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you have ever seen an adult act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think that Captain Jack Sparrow is the BEST CHARACTER IN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, copy this and paste it onto your profile!
If you support Captain Jack Saprrow and his Jar of Dirt, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro
() Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!!)
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If a pencil has ever gotten jammed in your neck (or another part of your body) put this in your pro!
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you HAVE EVER tried to take over the world and not succeeded, then copy and past this to your profile and add your name to the list: Master Of Minds, Breezy411, LoveHopes
If you think Rosalie Hale, is too damn mean to Bella copy and paste this to your profile
If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile
If you know someone who should be swept up by a dart, copy this to your profile.
If you know someone who should get sucked dry by a Wraith, copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that doesn’t cause your cool like that copy and paste this in your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, LoveHopes
95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, LoveHopes
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica (real name)(I always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, LoveHopes
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, GatorPups95, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', TitanRavenFreak, Bewarethedarkness, Demonchild99, randomlass, lilninjapig, Trickster91, Breezy411, ninja-pirate-alchemist, LoveHopes
If you actually read all of these! Copy this into your profile!
"Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree" - Lisa Bryant
"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."
"Kinky is using a feather.
“A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato—the best part of him is underground.”
“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
“7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.”
“43 of all statistics are worthless.”
"If the shoe fits, it's ugly."
"Never take a beer to a job interview."
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!"
"If I could lie, I would be in marketing."
"It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you place the blame."
"Most born executives are people with a parent who started the business."
"My contribution to productivity at my job is to refrain from giving my co-workers the severe beatings they so richly deserve." — Gene B.
"So I had this dream yesterday that I was at work... no, wait... I was dreaming yesterday while I was at work. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, long story short: Anybody know of a job opening for a security guard?" — Steiner Sellers.
"Word to the wise: When composing an e-mail message to your boss from home late at night, be sure to take inventory of the empty beer cans around you before you press 'send'." — Jumpin' Jack Reynolds.
"I think you should profit from the mistakes of others. You don't live long enough to make them all yourself."
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"If something goes wrong... blame the guy who can't speak English." — Homer Simpson
"The three little sentences that will get you through life:
1- Cover for me.
2- Oh, good idea, Boss!
3- It was like that when I got here." — Homer Simpson.
"If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they."
"I've found a sure way to relieve office stress:
• Take a deep breath
• Count to 10
• Set the boss' wastebasket on fire."
"Two Rules For Success:
1) Never tell people everything you know."
"Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does."
"If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights."
"A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt."
"The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get."
"Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job."
"Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. Everything can be filed under miscellaneous."
"Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour."
"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying."
"When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it by reducing it to the question, 'How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
"No matter how much you do, you never do enough."
"The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong."
“Exercise at work:
• Beat around the bush;
• Run around in circles
• Jump to conclusions;
• Run away from your problems;
• Fly off the handle
• Climb the corporate ladder
• Push a pencil
• Strike any key
• Etc... “
"When the going gets tough, everyone leaves."
“USEFUL AT WORK:
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.”
"Why are wise men, and wise guys the exact opposite?"
"Many people would sooner die than think. In fact they do." — Bertrand Russell
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste... That's why I save it for special occasions."
"Around here, we put the FUN in dysFUNctional."
"You're so open-minded, your brains fell out."
"My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely."
"I have an open mind — it's just closed for repairs."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality."
— Douglas Porter
"Trust your first impressions. It seems that thinking only confuses you."
"Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?"
"There is only one thing that can keep growing without nourishment: The human ego."
"Never argue with idiots. The just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience."
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film."
"I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out."
"In a fight between you and the world, I back the world."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"
"Been there, done that and have the tee-shirt to prove it."
"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke."
"Minds are like parachutes — they only work well when opened."
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"Last week I ate a 5th Avenue bar on 5th Avenue while little kids eating Snickers bars snickered at me. It was probably that whole 'irony' thing." — John Gephart
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." — Fran Lebowitz
"Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops." — Frank Muir
"A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen." — Emily Lotney.
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
"If it screams, it's not food... yet."
"Give me liberty or... OOOooo... A jelly donut!" — Homer Simpson
"Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty." — Matthew J. Siske
"If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?"
"What's the greatest worldwide use of cowhide? To hold cows together."
"Save the whales — collect the entire set."
"The only two things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner."
"I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it."
"Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa? Well, thanks a lot, Mom — Africans are still starving and American kids are obese." — Larry Baum.
"All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." — Alexander Woollcott.
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner." — Lynda Montgomery.
"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it."
"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people." — Ed Bluestone.
"My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like — just don't swallow it." — Harry Secombe
"Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards??"
"The devil came to me last night and asked what I wanted in exchange for my soul. I still can't believe I said pizza. Friggin' cravings." — Marc Ostroff.
"I think they should put a warning label on strawberries: 'Caution: tastes nothing like a strawberry milkshake'." — Ryan Kaplan.
"Give a man food, and he can eat for a day. Give a man a job, and he can only eat for 30 minutes on break." — Lev L. Spiro
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." — Mark Twain.
"I can't believe you can get banned from a bakery for mispronouncing ‘focaccia’!" — Hikeeba.
"The journey of a thousand pounds begins with a single burger." — Chris O'Brien
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
"Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with..."
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
"You know that the outhouse is in the right place if it seems too close in summer and too far in winter."
"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one."
"You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them."
"If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?!"
"If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in a line take so long?"
"Ingredients as fresh as they were 27 years ago." — Slogan of the Biscuitville restaurant.
"What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?"
"If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people." — Jim Eason.
"Never eat more than you can lift." — Miss Piggy.
"One of life's mysteries is how a 1kg box of candy can make a woman gain 2kg."
"It's important to watch what you eat. Otherwise, how are you going to get it into your mouth?" — Matt Diamond.
"Those who cast the votes decide nothing; those who count the votes decide everything." -- Joseph Stalin
"To love someone is to see him as God intended him" - Fydor Dostoyevsky
“Two words that guys hate...don’t & stop...unless you put them together”
“Being pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct one.” - Andy Bodine
"Love is like a war, easy to begin, hard to end"
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as equals." -Winston Churchill
"Sometimes your the dog, sometimes your the hydrant"
“Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.”
“Happiness is felt by making other people happy.”
“You have ONE advantage over me... You can kiss my ass and I can't!!”
“Behind every damsel is a fire-breathing dragon”
“When you lose someone, you realize just how much that person means to you, so maybe it’s a good thing they're gone. So you can see just how much that person means to you.”
“Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap!”
“I’m a palm reader: Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry. You'll live through it.”
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you”
“On top of a pickle relish jar: I relish the thought of meeting your buns.”
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot."
"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present."
"Treat everyone the same, till you find out there an idiot"
“Do I give my friends advice? Jesus, no. They wouldn't take advice from me. Nobody should take advice from me. I haven't got a clue about anything.”
"I had the whole world in my hands but I gave it away"
"Lets toast till we die"
"I never need to see the sun again, there’s enough light in your eyes to light up all the world"
“There is a light at the end of every tunnel... just pray it's not a train!”
“Now you won't talk to me for something I didn't do”
“I pushed it all aside to just stand next to you.”
“Save a baby seal...Club a liberal”
“You laugh at me because I'm strange I laugh at you because your stupid!”
“If you don’t like my driving stay off the sidewalk”
“Life isn’t a garden ... So stop being a hoe.”
"I hate advice unless I'm giving it"
“When ya got em' by the balls...their hearts and minds will follow.”
"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet"
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks
"Even If It Kills Me, I'm Gonna Smile."
“In a world of nonsense, everything is something, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it wasn't, was.”
“Love will die if held to tightly, love will fly if held to lightly.”
“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
“GEEKS UNITE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!”
"The most powerful position is on your knees."
“People can live one hundred years without really living a minute.”
"They mis-underestimated me." -George W. Bush (president)
“Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey.”
“If everything is coming your way you're in the wrong lane!”
"Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol”
"No one is a failure if they have friends" - the angel from it's a Wonderful Life
“Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it. “
"Friends are the flowers in the garden of life"
“Yesterday was never here and tomorrow will never be but today is a gift that's why they call it 'present'.”
"No Matter what you do there will be critics."
"All that changes in history is the name we give things." -Harry Truman
"You never see the bad days in a photo album but it’s those days that get us from one happy snapshot to the next."
"There is dignity in suffering; nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!"
"You can't free a bird if it ain't gunna fly. You can't live a life if you don't ask, Why?"
"There are people I would take a bullet for and people I would like to put a bullet in." --Benji (Good Charlotte)
"Death is instant, Pain will end, glory is forever"
"The power to believe in yourself, is the power to change fate"
"We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately" -- Benjamin Franklin
“Do not envy the one you admire most, instead, try to make yourself one that can be envied”
"Sinning wouldn't be so popular if its wages were paid immediately"
“Everyone has music in them. Only the talented have the ability to share it with the rest of the world”
"TO PLANT A GARDEN IS TO BELIEVE IN TOMORROW"
"If God didn't want me to do it he would have stopped me"
"Love starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear!"
"The lesson is in the struggle, not in the victory!"
"Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible!"
"Its ok to kiss a fool, its ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you!"
"Friends are gods ways of apologizing for our families"
“Life's a garden dig it”
"You only live once...but if you live it right, once is enough"
“Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten”
"If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it" - Jonathan winters.
"The best man for a job is a woman" - Ares (from Xena Warrior Princess)
"Knowledge talks, wisdom listens"
"To control others is to have power, to control yourself is to know the way" - Lao Ma
“A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good. Luckily this is not difficult"
“II can resist anything but temptation”
“ I believe in angels,
The Kind that heaven sends
By angels, but I call
Them my best friends”
"If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one "
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - The Fellowship of the Ring
"I've been rich and I've been poor… rich is better"
“Creating success is tough but keeping it is tougher” -Pete Roseg
"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet" - Roger Miller
"All who wander are not lost." -JRR Tolkien
“No amount of sizzle will make a bad steak good."
“Ashes to Ashes Dust-to-Dust, Life is short so Party We must!”
“Sticks and stones are hard on bones,
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything,
But silence breaks the heart...” -Phyllis mcgenlee
"Give up for a second and that is where you will finish."
“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” --Alexander Graham Bell
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence, determination and hard work make the difference.” -- Calvin Coolidge
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” -- George Eliot
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.” -- Ben Franklin
“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” -- Goethe
“What lies before us and what lies beyond us is tiny compared to what lies within us.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” -- Thomas Jefferson
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” -- Carl Jung
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” -- Robert F. Kennedy
“Friendship with one's self is all-important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt
“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -- George Bernard Shaw”
“~Resistance drains energy~
~Acceptance saves it~
~Cheerfulness sustains it~”
“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.” Douglas Adams
“He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.” Douglas Adams
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” Douglas Adams
“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.” Douglas Adams
“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pits in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.” Douglas Adams
“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” Douglas Adams
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” Douglas Adams
“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” Douglas Adams
“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See"
“He thought his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.” Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.” Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
“Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.” Douglas Adams "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.” Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
“Anyone who is capable of getting them selves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” Douglas Adams” The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.” Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galax”
“People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.”
“Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...”
“Smart is sexy” - The X-Files
“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.”
"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by." - Douglas Adams
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.”
“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”
“I came…I saw…I conquered!” - Julius Caesar
“Veni, Vidi, Vici” - Julius Caesar
“Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”
“I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me.”
“Never hire a colorblind electrician.”
“I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.”
“Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.”
“Dark is defined as the absence of light. If you define light as the absence of dark, we'll get along.”
“You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.”
“Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.”
“I know someone who studied for a blood test. They failed.”
"If you do it you'll regret it, but if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you're going to regret it- you might as well just do it."
"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."
"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."
"If we quit voting will they all go away?"
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."
"The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn."
"Join the new game that's sweeping the country! It's called "Bureaucracy." Everybody stands in a circle, and the first person to actually do anything loses."
"After all is said and done a hell of a lot more is said than done."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future." - You Don't Know Me, David Klass
“Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.”
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
“Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.”
“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.”
“Life: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
“If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.”
“War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography.”
“Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100 percent mortality.”
“Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.”
“As we say in Calculus, Wanna be tangent to my curves?"
“Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.”
“Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.”
“The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?”
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard’ I'm always tempted to ask Compared to what?"
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”
“Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.”
“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me than just lying!”
"Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil devil."
“Crazy is a relative term in my family!”
“Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.”
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
“Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”
“Boys make good pets!”
“Princess in training!”
“At least I can still smoke in my car”
“Caution, Blind Man Driving.”
"Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make."
“All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!”
"To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail."-Michael Jordan
"We are going to rip off your testicles... and slash your tires." - Nip
“Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you!”
“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.”
“Half the people you know are below average.”
“A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
“The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.”
“All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.”
“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“OK, so what's the speed of dark?”
“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”
“Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.”
“Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.”
“I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.”
“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
“My mechanic told me, I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
“Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?”
“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
“The problem with the Gene pool is there aren't any lifeguards”
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
“The only reason I am always listening to music is to drown out the sound of your voice!”
“Drive carefully, 90 of people are accidents.”
"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."
"Don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"
“If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven’t used enough”
“Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive”
“Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.”
“I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.”
"Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."
“I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last”
“Silence is silver, but music is gold...”
“Life’s Tough, get a helmet!”
“Loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty!”
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
“Constipated People Don't Give A crap.”
“If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.”
“The Earth Is Full - Go Home.”
“So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.”
“Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.”
“Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.”
“Illiterate? Write For Help”
“Honk If Anything Falls Off.”
“Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.”
“He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit.”
“You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!”
“I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.”
“Fight Crime: Shoot Back!”
“Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.”
“Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge”
“If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?”
“Ax Me About Ebonics.”
“Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.”
“Boldly Going Nowhere.”
“Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.”
“Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.”
“How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?”
“GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A BLONDE.”
“All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.”
"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"
"I'm not tailgating, I'm keeping up with the pace car"
“Roadhead cures Roadrage...”
“Tell your girlfriend I said thanks”
"WARNING: in case of rapture, this car will be driverless."
“Normal people worry me”
“you say physco like it's a bad thing”
“those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do”
“This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.”
“Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas.”
"Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you ever." ~ Holly Marie Combs
“don't regret doing things, regret getting caught”
“None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all”
"my tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me."
“it takes a player to shoot a shot.. but it takes a team to win a game " - penny anae
“everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE”
“Anger is one letter short of danger.”
“One death is one too many.”
“Life's not all bad. Look into somebody's eyes, you'll see that they're a person just like you, they also have good and bad feelings, hopes and dreams.”
“If you love somebody, they shouldn't make you cry, they should be worth crying over.”
“Lots of things change...lots of them don't...but the fact that I love you...that will always stay the same.”
"I'm going to live life or die trying"
“I’m sugar and spice and everything nice if u wanna mess with me u better think twice”
"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams."
"We didn’t lose... we just ran out of time”
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."--Homer J. Simpson
“If you die, I'll kill you!"
“There are some days when I just don't feel like talking... Today is that day.”
“The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.”
"Find a guy that adores you and not one that you adore!!" MOM
“Trust your instincts and listen to your friends, because they may be right when you don't want them to be”
"Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"
"Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate."
“They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?”
"When you pee in a toilet, you wipe the seat; when you pee in the woods, you wipe your feet!"
“Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.”
“Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.”
"Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information"
“You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.” - Homer J. Simpson.
"Is tuna really Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson, after reading "Tuna, Chicken of the sea"
"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."
"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"
“Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.”
"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle."
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown
"I'll kill you until you die!!"
"I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!"
"Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"
"The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus"
"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"
"A good essay is 10 inspiration, 15 perspiration, and 75 desperation"
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!”
“I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight”
“If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!”
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
“If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!”
“Thank-you for visiting reality, come again... Now entering your life, welcome”
“The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!”
“Consciousness- that annoying time between naps”
“Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them”
"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"
“I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!”
"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"
“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons! For you are crunchy. And taste good with ketchup”
“Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!”
"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"
“It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!”
“Every morning is the dawn of a new error”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”
“Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS”
“I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... “
“Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay”
“Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either”
“Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved”
“Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster”
“Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!”
“Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny”
“Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers”
“OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO”
“A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)”
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT”
"I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to." - Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.
“I’m the largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas." - Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
"Pitching is 80 of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." - Mickey Rivers, baseball player
"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife." - Mike Greenwell, Baseball player
"If only faces could talk..." - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
"Permitted vehicles not allowed." - Road sign on US 27
"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man." - Samuel Goldwyn
"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident." - Sign on backseat of Taxi
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"The team has come along slow but fast." - Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5." - Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player
" China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President
"Football players win football games." - Chuck Knox, football coach
"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." - David Garcia, baseball team manager
"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." - Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
"We're just physically not physical enough." - Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach
"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon." - Detroit Daily News
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant
"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower
"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money." - Everett Dirksen, Congressman
"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds." - Frank Bruno, Boxer
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, former U.S. President
"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel
"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?” - Harry News, music reviewer
"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old." - Herb Score, Sportscaster
"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever." - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.
"We're going to move left and right at the same time." - Jerry Brown, Governor of California
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." - Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Are you tired of those sissy friendship poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card...just the stone cold truth of great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4.When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5.When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6.When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7.When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8.When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...
This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
SUPPORT THE BUNNY!
You know you live in 2007 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
REMEMBER WHEN ..
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
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